Determined To Succeed

Folks. Gather ‘round the computer screen. Don’t be afraid. I won’t bite (wink). What I’m about to say I don’t want to say too loudly. I’ll wait for you. Grab a drink, some healthy munchies. Ok, are you ready? I’m going to whisper. Here it comes.

I kind of liked “Twilight Saga: New Moon.”

I am in no way, shape or form a “Twilighter” or moonie or whatever the hell the fans of the books and/or movies call themselves. But I was finding myself actually liking more of “New Moon” than I thought I would.

Better to review them with, my dear.

After Bella recovers from the vampire attack that almost claimed her life in the first book/movie, she looks to celebrate her birthday with Edward and his family. However, a minor accident during the festivities results in Bella’s blood being shed, a sight that proves too intense for the Cullens, who decide to leave the town of Forks, Washington for Bella and Edward’s sake. Initially heartbroken, Bella finds a form of comfort in reckless living, as well as an even-closer friendship with Jacob Black.

I haven’t read the books (oh darn) so I am keeping myself “pure” by just seeing the films. I will go on record as saying that the first “Twilight” movie was silly dreck. I laughed out loud at some of the scenes in “Twilight” because the looks given by characters, bad acting and dialogue and cheesiness overcame the story and after a while I just didn’t care. In “New Moon” there is still some of each, particularly from the wooden Robert Pattinson as Edward. But what you can sink your teeth into (OK, I couldn’t resist) is the love triangle that happens when heroin-chic Edward flies the coop and leave his beautiful Swan in the paws of burgeoning werewolf Jacob (Taylor Lautner). Take away the vampire/werewolf plot and you actually have a decent love/unrequited love story reasonably well-acted that you can care about.

As Jacob, Lautner is good and I felt for his character hopelessly drawn to Bella, allowing himself to be used by her as a way to “get over” Edward. You just want him to stand up and say “Are you nuts? Stop using me and let me go!” And for me to want him to say that means I was sucked into (pun intended) the story.

Of course, Edward comes back…blah, blah and we see him trying (operative word TRYING) to be all swoony/lovey but his slow-motion walks and brooding, drugged-out looks end up being more comical than romantic. And as Bella, Kristen Stweart is decent at playing the girl who the boys fawn over although I see no reason why they do. She’s an indecisive user who at 18 thinks she knows what she wants not just for the rest of her life but all eternity.

But don’t all self-entitled teenagers these days.

Let’s just say this. With a soundtrack that’s pretty cool and a half-way decent love triangle “New Moon,” while nothing to really howl for isn’t a half-bad way to spend a rainy day at the movies.

Kristen Stewart … Bella Swan

Christina Jastrzembska … Gran / Bella

Robert Pattinson … Edward Cullen

Billy Burke … Charlie Swan

Anna Kendrick … Jessica

Michael Welch … Mike

Justin Chon … Eric

Christian Serratos … Angela

Taylor Lautner … Jacob Black

Ashley Greene … Alice Cullen

Jackson Rathbone … Jasper Hale

Russell Roberts … Mr. Berty

Cam Gigandet … James

Michael Sheen … Aro

Jamie Campbell Bower … Caius

Rated PG-13 for some violence and action.

Runtime: 130 min

From time to time you need to cleanse the movie-going palate. Any steady diet of romantic comedies or dramas needs to have that balanced with something else or life in a movie theater can get pretty boring pretty quick.

“Ninja Assassin” is just that palate cleanser.

This is a movie that absolutely makes no apologies for the blatant rip-offs it employs or for the copious amount of gratuitous violence and blood it spills forth (OK, that was cheap, I know). But I totally respect a movie that simply is what it is – a fun, wild, ninja-action thrill ride that is both fun and entertaining.

I won’t spend too much time going into the plot. What’s the point? A young ninja turns his back on the “orphanage” (a.k.a. ninja training academy) that raised him, leading to a confrontation with fellow ninjas from the school while helping detectives figure out worldwide assassinations seemingly carried out by – you guessed it – ninjas.

Does this sound absolutely ridiculous? Yes. Are the plot situations themselves merely set-ups for action scene after action scene. Yes.

Is this movie fun? Hell yes.

I counted four movies, four, that “Ninja Assassin” blatantly rips off. The first (best, and what should be only) “Highlander,” “The Terminator,” “Kill Bill” and “The Matrix.” In fact, some shots are so close they should be shown in film school to prove there really aren’t any original ideas running around Hollywood anymore. But I dig each of those movies and when they’re mashed-up like they are here it was totally worth the dough I shelled out to see it.

I liked this movie so much I hope there’s a sequel. I’m not giving anything away by saying that especially in a cinematic world where you can kill off the lead bad guy (i.e. “Saw’s” Jigsaw) in part three and still be using him in part six.

The acting in some scenes is, frankly, mediocre. The subplot about the political assassinations is almost unnecessary. What holds this film together is its central revenge story and the lead character played by international action star Rain.  His performance is so subtle but yet so explosive that I want to see his character more either in sequels or have him pop up in other flicks. You see what makes him fight and understand why he chooses not to unless provoked.

But please don’t provoke this guy. His nice guy doesn’t EVER finish last

Oh, by the way. I TOTALLY want to introduce his character to “Kill Bill’s” The Bride. Those two with their blade-swinging choreography, charm and body counts would make for a great action movie duo. The Astaire-Rodgers of the new-world matinee.

PS: For God’s sake, please do not take children to see it. I know kids these days seem a lot more desensitized to violence and “it’s OK.” But this film really is for adults. Let the kids see “Twilight: New Moon” or something else instead. It’ll be worth the wait until they’re 18.

Sung Kang…Hollywood

Randall Duk Kim…Tattoo Master

Jonathan Chan-Pensley…Yakuza Henchman

Yuki Iwamoto…Yakuza Couch

Ill-Young Kim  …Yakuza Mohawk

Ben Miles…Maslow

Naomie Harris  …Mika

Rain…Raizo

Stephen Marcus…Kingpin

Linh Dan Pham…Pretty Ninja

Yu Fang… Laundromat Manager

Adriana Altaras…Landlady

Shô Kosugi…Ozunu

Kylie Goldstein…Young Kiriko (as Kylie Liya Goldstein)

Yoon Sungwoong         …         Young Raizo

Total Running Time: 99 min

Rated R for strong bloody stylized violence throughout, and language.

In this, my first weight loss podcast, I introduce myself and my weight loss journey as well as give you the five steps to help you begin yours, too.

I don’t know exactly where to begin when it comes to putting memories of my mom, JoAnn, to words. So I guess I will begin at the end.

My mom, JoAnn, who grew up in Cicero, Illinois, passed away on Tuesday, June 9, 2009 from pancreatic cancer.  Pancreatic cancer is the sneakiest, worst and most evil of cancers because when you find out you have it (which is usually Stage Four) it’s too late. Pancreatic cancer “presents” itself when it gets so bad it causes some type of other physical symptom. In my mom’s case, it was jaundice.

I was getting my hair cut on the afternoon of Friday, May 22.  Since I was having a stressful time at work I wanted to relax while getting my haircut in my favorite salon (yes, sometimes, I pamper myself that way). So, I left my phone in the car. I figured “who’d call me in the hour I’d be in there.”

My Aunt Linda, that’s who.

When I left the salon, I went to the car and saw Linda didn’t call just once. She called four times. My heart began to race as I dialed my voice-mail. You see, for the past couple of years my mom had been in and out of hospitals with her diabetes and other circulatory problems. In fact, Christmas 2008 was spent at her hospital bedside. Hell, at least I knew she was getting good care so it was, ironically, the time when I could relax and just be with her.

But this time was different. Linda’s voice had an immediacy to it I’d never heard before. “Bill. You need to call me as soon as you get this. I don’t want to leave this on a message.”

When I called Linda said she had never seen anything like it. My mom instantly went yellow. They rushed her to the doctor and admitted her. That was May 22.

On May 23, the doctors told me about a “mass” on her pancreas, and after some consultations with oncology it was confirmed as pancreatic cancer, the Malifacent of all cancers, on Sunday, May 24, 2009.

I rushed to her bedside as soon as I could, which was that following Tuesday and, except for a couple of days where I came back to take care of some work things, I was at her bedside the rest of the time. She was transferred from hospital care to hospice on Wednesday, June 3, 2009.

That was the last move she ever made.

I have to say the people who work in hospice care are true angels on this planet. They know when patients come to them it’s for end-of-life care. For them to deal with that and give the amount of care and compassion they do on a daily basis is nothing short of remarkable. I will be forever in their debt for their care of my mama.

When Tuesday morning came I went, as I always did, to the hospice unit and my mom’s breathing had taken a bad turn, even from just a few hours before. Hours passed and she took less and less breaths. Her limbs were growing cold. I played some movie music on my computer to help ease her and I told her it was OK to go. I was watching her, holding her increasingly colder hand  for as long as I could until finally I watched her pass away peacefully at 5:00 p.m.

I was so surprised that, even though my mom had a room next to the busy Cicero street, there wasn’t a sound. It was as if the whole world had stopped to observe a moment of silence as my mom took her last breath at “quittin’ time.” Just then, an overwhelming sense of peace came to me, as if her spirit passed through my body to tell me it was OK, now. Everything’s fine. No more pain and suffering. My mom was now healed and all better, just not here on Earth.

Just as I walked out of the room so that the wonderful hospice nurses could tend to her the daughter of my mom’s roommate came out and talked to me. She was teary-eyed herself but not because of my mom. In fact she didn’t even know my mom had passed until much later. No. She needed a hug and some talking to about her own mom, who was lying in the bed next to my mother’s. I couldn’t believe what I did next. I actually had the strength through that peaceful wave that washed over me to hold this woman and talk with her about her mom. We are both only children, you see, even though this other only child was about 25 years older than me. I held her and gave her a hug and said, no matter what, her mom would soon be at peace. That she was a good daughter. That she was doing what she was supposed to do and just be there (a bitter pill for me to swallow since I wanted to fix everything just a few days before). I held this poor woman’s hand and said that it would be OK. I knew it would be. That even though death is painful, it’s a part of this life. A sucky part, but a part, nonetheless. And it was happening the way it should happen. Where we, the children, say good-bye to our parents and do their memories honor by being the best children we can be – for them and ourselves.

According to her wishes my mom was cremated without much fuss (she never did want a big to-do, nor did she want any kind of traditional wake) and I spread her ashes in East End Park which is now called Harold Washington Park (after Chicago’s late, great mayor), the park she took me when I was a kid. It was raining lightly and beautiful and everything was so green. It was so green that you could almost touch the color itself without the leaves. I clutched my mom’s ashes and took a walk, alone, in the park.

I was glad it was raining. That meant no one was around. I was glad it was raining. No one could see me cry if they were there. I started having a panic attack. Where would I spread my mom’s ashes? Which part of the park? Not the childrens part. Not here. Not there. It finally came to me that we had so many good times just walking and talking so that’s what I did. I talked to my mom and I let the ashes drain slowly from their plastic bag. It was beautiful, and rainy and warm and it was just me and her.

When the ashes were all scattered in a winding path in the grass throughout the park I stood there and cried. I cried because that was the last time I was ever going to get to hold my mom.

Over these past few months I have been saying good-bye in different ways again and again. Taking care of her bills and estate and finalizing things with lawyers and insurance companies (who have all been wonderful, actually). And I continue to say good-bye again and again as the bills are taken care of one-by-one. Letting go of my mom’s physical self a little bit every time.

But the one thing I am so grateful for is photos. I always took them for granted so, so much when I was growing up. I hated pictures of me (and still do), but it wasn’t until I found old pictures and negatives of my mom that I found that sense of peace again. Not just from knowing she was healed in every way and in far better places, but seeing these photos and reconnecting with her as she was living. Some photos taken before I was a gleam in her eye. That was cool, too. To look at this young girl, this young woman who would become my precious mother. It was nothing short of a miracle.

So on these pages devoted to her I will share with you more memories and photos. And before I forget the reason I started at the end in the first place I wanted to share to share this photo in particular – the last one that I know of taken of this remarkable woman, JoAnn Larson. It was from 2007 and she is with our old cat, Spooky (we found him around Halloween – go figure).

Admittedly I cropped out her surroundings because they are not how I want you guys to see my mom. She lived in a state of disarray, in a state of constant mess both mentally sometimes and definitely physically. What I cropped out was the mess of her room. I did this so you could concentrate on her face. Her smile. The smile of my ma (the way we Chicagoans say mom) when she was 68-years-old and we hadn’t yet known that this ugly cancer was growing inside her.

I just look at her face (the original of this picture is on my desk) and I smile, and sometimes cry. I miss my mom and her voice so much and always will. But thank God for photos. Whether they are taken with the mind’s eye or with a camera, they help us to remember that our loved ones are with us always and forever.