Determined To Succeed

Do you guys ever watch Fox’s “Family Guy” TV show? Not only is it consistently funny but it has, pound for pound, the most references to pop culture of any show ever. And as its male “lead” Peter Griffin would say – “that’s freakin’ sweet!”

There was an episode a few years back where Peter, fed up with some such thing I can’t remember in my sleepy haze,” gets his own segment of the evening news called “What Grinds My Gears,” a segment where Peter just goes off on his idiotic rants about everything from people in the 19^th century to Lindsay Lohan.

Last night as I watched “Family Guy” I got to thinking about something that really, AND ABSOLUTELY TRUTHFULLY, grinds my gears – prejudice. It comes in all shapes and sizes, figuratively and literally, and is alive and well and living on network television. Yes, you may or may not be aware of this but while sitting and watching some of your favorite shows like “Dancing with the Stars” or “American Idol” you see (or in this case don’t see) the results of prejudice – prejudice against people of size. Yep, what “grinds my gears” are the networks who show my favorite shows (“V,” “Flash Forward” and ironically “Family Guy”) actually turned away a Lane Bryant ad because it was deemed “too racy.”

This past week the Columbus, Ohio-based clothing retailer charged that ABC and FOX rejected a commercial for its new Cacique lingerie line because of a bias against plus-sized women. The ad features size-16 New York fashion model Ashley Graham enjoying feeling sexy inside a hotel room in her Lane Byrant bra and panties, receiving text messages and arranging a “nooner,” a lunchtime naughty “rendezvous” with a lover. The company wanted to place the ad on ABC’s “Dancing with the Stars” and FOX’s “American Idol.”  However, ABC refused to show the commercial during “Dancing with the Stars” without restricting the spot to the final (least-watched) moments of the show,” and Fox demanded excessive re-edits and rebuffed it three times before relenting to air it during the final 10 minutes of “American Idol,” but only after we threatened to pull the ad buy.

As Peter Griffin would say, “Are you freakin’ kidding me?”

According to ABC Vice President Julie Hoover. “We were willing to accommodate them (Lane Bryant), but they chose to seek publicity.” And I am so glad they did.  It’s hard enough in this word to be big as it is. However, without publicity, how can we know how people of size are treated in the consumer world?

Take director Kevin Smith’s recent woes aboard a Southwest Airline plane. Even though Smith acknowledge it was his wanting to take an earlier flight (one on which he purchased two seats) he was booted from a Southwest flight because he was allegedly deemed to large to fly “comfortably” in one seat. The situation may have died down since February but was, until now, the most recent (read, most visible) example of a (no pun intended) growing intolerance against people of size. If it wasn’t for the fact of his celebrity and his widely-read blog this situation would never have been known and brought into the light.

The same thing holds true for the Lane Bryant ad. Why does Lane Bryant have to extensively have to re-edit their ad (which is embedded here for you to see) when Victoria’s Secret runs ads that can be viewed as way racier? After learning about this prejudice I purposely watched spots for both and the Victoria Secret ad shows way more skin on way more women. It just so happens that those women are thin while the beautiful, full-figured model in the Lane Bryant ad is a size 16 – WHICH AIN’T THAT BIG TO BEGIN WITH!!!!!

Graham, in the New York Post, said she was shocked to learn the networks couldn’t and wouldn’t handle her ad. “I was very surprised,” she said. “The first thing I thought of was Victoria’s Secret commercials, and how they’re just as racy, if not more racy, than Lane Bryant.[The models are] just a lot smaller than what I am. They can’t handle bigger on TV, bigger boobs on a normal-sized woman on TV.”

That sucks. Why do I bring this up today? It’s not because I wanted to talk about scantily-clad women prancing around in underwear (well, OK. Maybe a little) It’s because we are heading into the weekend, prime shopping time for most people. It’s on my mind because people of size are beautiful, no matter the package in which they’re wrapped. We shop, we go out to eat, we see movies and we have feelings. We, too, like to see people like us on TV, both in shows and in ads, because we are a part of society. Some of us might be on a weight loss journey, and I fully recognize what got me to be 400 pounds was my own fault – overeating and lack of exercise – but that doesn’t mean we have to be re-edited and shuttled to the “back of the bus” in a TV show’s time slot because some of us are more “real” than the skinny so-and-sos in a Vicky’s Secret ad. Further, why can’t we be “normal characters” in ads or on shows – those who have just as much drama, laughter, sex and life – just like the thinner main characters on shows? We always seem, more times than not, to be the non-sexual, non-threatening comic relief in movies and shows. That sucks, and I, for one, am sick of it.

A Fox representative told AOL’s PopEater blog that the network did “balk at airing the Lane Bryant spot at 8 p.m. without edits,” but will air it uncut during the 9 p.m. hour of “American Idol” next week. Funny how it took some publicity to make them do this. Shame on you, Fox and ABC. That’s why I freaking “flash forward” through your commercials anyway.

We may be big but we sure as hell are beautiful. And good for Lane Bryant for sticking to it’s guns.

And that’s what “grinds my gears.” Back to you in the studio.

Download This Episode

Cravings. What is it about them? They happen all the time, everywhere. Being an emotional eater I’ve had my share of them lately (especially when I had to drop a very unexpected $2K on my car for maintenance) and I wish I could stop. Milky Way bars, egg rolls, cheese fries, Cinnabon, Auntie Anne’s pretzels and more. As I’m writing this, I have a craving for my usual cup of extra cream, extra crunchy (sugary) coffee.

You know how it is when you get a craving for something. Don’t ya? You’re deep in thought about how to save the planet, the report you have to do the next day at work, errands you have to run – it doesn’t matter. Once that craving hits you it’s like all the other thoughts in your head all somehow lead back to that craving and you try to justify it in any way possible…

“It would certainly help me think better about saving the planet/these errands/this report if I had (insert the name/type of craving you have here) in my tummy.”

I even heard from one of my friends on Twitter today who had a taste for birthday cake this morning – even though it’s eight months until her birthday.

Lately, I’ve had one helluva craving for strawberry ice-cream. I don’t know what it is or why but there are times when I’m just sitting on the couch and all I can think about is having a pint of good ol’ bad-for-you strawberry ice-cream. The last time it hit me was just the other night. I was watching the Chicago Bulls get beaten by the Cleveland Cavaliers in the NBA Playoffs (I was also craving a little bit of home). I was sitting on the couch wondering how much effort it would take to actually get dressed, drive to the store and purchase a pint. Is that bad? OK, I know the answer to that. “Yes, it is.” But if we had beaming technology I would have been so there at the Wawa (the best convenience stores on the planet) looking over the freezer to find a pint of Haagen-Dazs Strawberry Ice-Cream.

Yum.

I think ultimately I replaced one sweet craving for another. I have done a really good job as of late weaning myself off of Coca-Cola (at least as much of it as I’d been having) so I think at night, when cravings really get bad and my cravings are strongest, instead of reaching for a Coke I want to reach for ice-cream. It just so happens that I’m too damn lazy to get dressed to go get a pint which is a really, really good thing. I have also been doing my best to be Zen about my cravings. I allow myself to have my cravings every now and then so I don’t turn into a miserable, grumpy bastard but I also control them and don’t make them a part of my every day. However, it all means one thing – I soooooo need to go shopping and get some good healthier food in the house. I need to at least follow the advice of the personal trainer, Jorge, I saw recently…

1. Apples and peanut butter is a great mid-day snack.
2. Cheat with a liquid – sugar free Jello, frozen yogurt, water ice or low-cal pudding
3. Cheat with a fat – like eating a cheese steak without the bread, wings, ribs, cheeseburger without the bun

These suggestions may not help me stem my cravings for delicious strawberry ice-cream entirely but seeing my numbers go down gradually on my electronic scale sure as hell does.

When last you left your intrepid hero (OK, maybe I’m not a hero but a dumbass who was curious and hungry) I set off past the virtual plain and headed for the land of KFC to conquer the evil and vile “Double Down,” the latest in a new wave of icky ultimate “sandwiches” put forth by fast food purveyors for unsuspecting (or uncaring) consumers.

All I have to say was that I was willing to “take one for the team…”

…and boy did I. But before I get ahead of myself here’s what went down (or in this case “Double Down”)

Because I wanted to ask a few questions about the sandwich and who buys it from the KFC workers on duty (hehe, he said duty) I pulled up to my local KFC and went inside. I was worried it would be mobbed as it was only about 12:30 – prime lunch hour. But the restaurant itself was devoid of people and even the drive through had only one customer. So I stroll up to the counter where a very nice worker (not using her real name we will call her Sheila) asked me for my order.

• Me: Hi there. Have you tried the “Double Down?” And which one is better? Original Recipe or Grilled.
• Sheila: “Actually, would you believe I haven’t? Hey Gwen (again, not a real name)! You’ve tried the “Double Down,” right?
• Gwen: Yep. I tore it up the first day. I love it. (we all laugh at her enthusiasm and love of the “sandwich”)
• Sheila: “Which is better? Original or grilled?”
• Gwen: “Original, no doubt.”
• Me: OK, may I please have one Original Recipe “Double Down.” Do a lot of people order this thing?”
• Sheila: “You’d be surprised how many people order it. In fact, we ran out the other day and had to make more chicken. We had five cars lined up and parked outside waiting for it.”
• Me: “Really?! Wow. Do young people order it?”
• Sheila: “Everyone orders it. Young or old. It doesn’t matter. Everyone loves it.”
• Me: “Wow. OK. Thank you so much.”

So I get back into my car and drove home. I didn’t want to be in public in case my skin, tongue or stomach had an allergic reaction to the conglomeration of ick that is the “Double Down.” Plus I knew I had TUMS at the ready AND IN BULK.  I removed the “food item” from the bag and gingerly placed it on a plate, much like a weapons expert trying to diffuse a bomb. When I took it out of its box I looked at it for a bit. It looked nasty. I could see the “Colonel’s Sauce” oozing from in-between the boneless Original Recipe pieces of chicken. Even more curious (like a kid dissecting his first frog in high school biology) I peeled apart the top chicken breast to reveal the inner goo – the sauce, the piece of barely-melted cheese and bacon.

Now there’s an old axiom that states “there’s nothing that bacon, chocolate or frying can’t fix.” But this thing, even with two out of three, was beyond repair. I shook my head in disbelief and slowly placed the top chicken piece back on top and raised this abomination to my mouth. I opened wide and took a bite…

…yuk. The “Colonel’s Sauce” tastes to wretched, like Thousand Island dressing mixed in with mayonnaise. Really gooey mayonnaise. I had to gnaw on the bacon, which was not very crispy, to get it to bite off from the rest. The whole thing was just a mess. A big, greasy, nasty mess. Such a mess and so nasty in fact I didn’t (couldn’t) finish it. Not in that state anyway.

So I took out a knife and fork and separated the chicken from the inner goo and shoveled that mess (the cheese, sauce and bacon) away. When I tell you it will live forever in a landfill, and probably grow legs, I’m not exaggerating (well, not too much). With that gone I ate the piece of chicken that had the least amount of the remnants of the sauce, which made my hands smell like stale mayo – you know the smell I mean, right?

When I was done, I could almost immediately hear my stomach rumble its discontent. “I’m sorry,” I cry out as I felt it churning inside my body. “I threw the rest away” (which hurt because it was over $6 for that thing). I reached for a TUMS and took two – chewed them up and swallowed hoping it would take the ick away but it was too late. I felt cheap. I felt greasy. I needed a shower. And please make no mistake, that “creation” will never pass my lips again.

I honestly can’t believe that my local KFC is selling out of these things and that people are loving them. Sheila even told me some of her customers buy two of them. Yikes!!!

But I ate one so you didn’t have to, like the one in the movie who stays behind to give the others more time to escape. “No, you go on. Save yourselves. I’ll give you all the time I can.” Well, hopefully my $6 bought you the knowledge to never have one of those things. I know I say a splurge every now and then is good. But in this humble blogger’s opinion there are far better things on which to splurge – a Chicago-style hot dog, cheesesteak hoagie, egg roll from Sixty-Five Seafood on Michigan Avenue, pizza, someone’s right leg. Anything but that.

And there you have it. Oh, and just in case you thought I forgot the second part of the cliffhanger…the real reason behind the shift to KFC had nothing to do with healthy food or finicky consumers: it was about money — money that Kentucky Fried Chicken would have had to pay to continue using their original name. In 1990, the Commonwealth of Kentucky, mired in debt, took the unusual step of trademarking their name. Henceforth, anyone using the word “Kentucky” for business reasons — inside or outside of the state — would have to obtain permission and pay licensing fees to the Commonwealth of Kentucky. The venerable Kentucky Fried Chicken, a mainstay of American culture since its first franchise opened in Salt Lake City in 1952, refused as a matter of principle to pay royalties on a name they had been using for four decades. After a year of fruitless negotiations with the Kentucky state government, Kentucky Fried Chicken – unwilling to submit to “such a terrible injustice” – threw in the towel and changed the name instead, timing the announcement to coincide with the introduction of new packaging and products to obscure the real reason behind the altering of their corporate name. In November 2006, KFC and the State of Kentucky, finally reached an undisclosed settlement over use of the trademarked word “Kentucky,” and the restaurant chain announced it would be resuming its former name of “Kentucky Fried Chicken.”

Today’s blog is gonna be a fun two-parter – a “cliffhanger” of sorts, and I’m gonna have such fun writing it. Here we go…

Let’s take a trip in the way back machine to 1991. The biggest movie of the year was “Terminator 2: Judgment Day,” The song “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You” by Bryan Adams, from the film “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves,” was the biggest song of the year (and coincidentally from the second-biggest film of the year) and Kentucky Fried Chicken announced it was officially changing its name to “KFC” because health-conscious consumers associated the word “fried” with “unhealthy” and “high cholesterol,” causing some of them to completely shun the “healthier” menu items available. The new title was designed to lure back customers with foods branded “better for you.”

Jump back to 2010. This same, seemingly more health-conscious restaurant chain, just a couple of weeks ago, introduced a “sandwich” that can only be described as ridiculous, at least, and reprehensible, at most. It’s called the “Double Down,” featuring (per the chain’s website) two thick and juicy boneless white meat chicken filets (Original Recipe® or Grilled), two pieces of bacon, two melted slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese and Colonel’s Sauce. Again, using their words, it’s a product so meaty, there’s no room for a bun!

Ick!!!! You’ve gotta be kidding. This beast of a “sandwich” seems so disgusting, even in theory, I find it hard to believe any one would try it. But because I’m a curious sort I went to the KFC website and gathered the following nutritional information on this “thick and juicy” piece of crap-tastic “food:”

KFC Original Recipe® Double Down

• Serving Size (grams): 241
• Calories: 540
• Calories from fat: 290
• Total Fat (grams): 32
• Saturated Fat (grams): 10
• Trans Fat (grams): 0.5
• Cholesterol (mgs): 145
• Sodium (mgs): 1,380

KFC Grilled Double Down

• Serving Size (grams): 253
• Calories: 460
• Calories from fat: 210
• Total Fat (grams): 23
• Saturated Fat (grams): 9
• Trans Fat (grams): 0
• Cholesterol (mgs): 185
• Sodium (mgs): 1,430

As you can see, my friends, the supposedly “healthier” grilled version of this “sandwich” has more sodium and more cholesterol than its Original Recipe® counterpart. Now I grant you that’s probably because it is a slightly heavier sandwich overall (253 grams for the grilled versus 241 for Original Recipe®), but still!!!

Ah, but while KFC is undergoing it’s PR nightmare over its newest “creation,” let’s hop across the street to Wendy’s and check out some even more frightening “nutritional” information on its own monstrosity – the Triple “Baconator.” You remember that “burger,” right? Or has the thunder been stolen by the Colonel, whose probably rolling over in his grave at the thought his restaurants are serving this crap. Here is the list of ingredients for the Triple “Baconator:”

Baconator® Triple

3 – Ground Beef Hamburger Patties (seasoned with salt), 3 slices processed American Cheese, 9 (count ‘em, 9!) strips Applewood Smoked Bacon, Mayonnaise, “Ketchup” (actually Tomato Concentrate made in part with High Fructose Corn Syrup), Mustard, Dill Pickles (4), Onion (4 rings), Tomatoes, 1-2 slices, Lettuce and all served on a “Premium” Bun (I guess the regular bun just wasn’t up to the task they had to import premium buns). And if you though the sound of the ingredients was bad, get a load of the numbers – the actual amounts of calories, fat, sodium and more you’d put into your body having one of these things:

Wendy’s Triple “Baconator” (Get ready for this)

• Serving Size (grams): 424
• Calories: 1,350
• Calories from fat: 810
• Total Fat (grams): 90
• Saturated Fat (grams): 40
• Trans Fat (grams): 3.5
• Cholesterol (mgs): 320
• Sodium (mgs): 2,780

What does this mean? IT MEANS YOU COULD HAVE TWO KFC ORIGINAL RECIPE ® “DOUBLE DOWN” SANDWICHES FOR THE UNHEALTHY PRICE OF ONE WENDY’S TRIPLE “BACONATOR.”

Shocking, isn’t it? And people still wonder why our country’s population is growing by leaps and bounds (and not in a good way).

I went to my friends on Facebook and here’s what some of them had to say about the KFC “Double Down:”

Stacy W. “Even my teenage son, who will eat anything, thinks that thing looks nasty!”

Angelique B. “I thought it was an April Fool’s joke when it first came out. I can’t believe this is real.”

Michael L. “No need to waste the calories. One look and you can tell it’s poison. Yuk!”

Julia Lewis: “That is just plain gross. I will try just about any food once, but I don’t think I could even manage a bite of this abomination. Scratch that. I wouldn’t even let my dogs eat that.”

But with all that said, I’m gonna get one today. I’m gonna go to my local KFC, find out how many of them they sell in a day, buy one and photograph me trying it (and you wondered where the cliffhanger part was gonna come in). I am with you guys. This thing sound horrible, and you will find out tomorrow just how horrible as I “take one for the team.” But always remember a quote from “Star Wars,” this one from, appropriately enough, one of the crappy prequels – Episode 1.

Qui-Gon “There’s always a bigger fish.”

And with the Wendy’s Triple “Baconator” lurking out there under the PR radar, there is, indeed a bigger – and more deadly – fish.

Happy Monday, my friends. Let’s start this week off with a basic refresher science lesson. I know, I know. “It’s too early in the week for physics and I haven’t had my coffee yet.” But stick with me. This one’s easy…

You guys have heard of Newton’s First Law of Motion, right? Newton’s First Law of Motion states that a body at rest will remain at rest unless an outside force acts on it, and a body in motion at a constant velocity will remain in motion in a straight line unless acted upon by an outside force.

The southern New Jersey and Philadelphia areas have had rain since yesterday, with more rain expected tomorrow. It’s cool (somewhere in the 40s) and the skies have a light grey look to them. Drops of rain gently hit puddles of collected water in the streets outside creating small ripples colliding with other competing small ripples and you can hear the wet rolling of the tires on cars as they drive by on the street.  In general, this is a blah day indeed, perfect for just kicking-back, finding a good old movie on TCM or some such channel and curling up on the couch.

It is such a struggle on days like today to get up and get moving. My body, which has pretty much just woken up, still feels “at rest” and would be more than happy to stay “at rest” and let today be spent watching those drops of rain hit puddles, stay under the covers or on the couch while listening to the wet car wheels roll by as I mentioned above. In other words, my body would be more than happy not to have an outside force (me getting up to exercise) cause it to lose its “at rest” status.

Because I am human, rainy days are perfect examples of when I fight the urge NOT get up and exercise.

It would be so easy to justify not getting up, putting on my gym clothes and working out on the elliptical. I’d blame it on the rain (oh, great! Now I’ve got a Milli Vanilli song going through my head!) and say to myself “I’ll just get up and workout doubly hard tomorrow.” Sound familiar? I know it does to me. I can’t tell you how many times in my fat life I’ve said those words. And I’m not saying I won’t ever say them again. I am human, after all. I just won’t say them today because on the good news front, thanks to some smart eating choices, cutting out soda (yes, including my beloved ice-cold Cokes) and exercising, I survived the weekend and am back to 236.5. Just eleven pounds to go before my goal weight is re-achieved.

With that in mind I am willing my body to be “in motion.” I am telling myself to get up and get moving. This weight ain’t gonna lose itself and even though it is a perfect, lazy rainy day I will get up and stay in motion at a constant velocity and will not be acted upon by the outside force of me wanting to be lazy and not workout today. I am going to get my workout “on” and will do my 4 miles on the elliptical, push-ups, sit-ups, weight machines and dumbbells. I will stay on my downward trend.

See, science and physics are not too terribly bad on a Monday, are they? Well, at least as reminders to get up and get moving to achieve a weight loss goal.

Happy Sunday, my friends. It’s rainy here in southern New Jersey and the day is slooooooly getting going (as lazy, rainy Sundays tend to do). I am feeling much better than I did on Friday, first and foremost because I had more sleep (per chance to dream). And more sleep equals more strength to handle stuff, like bitching again to the Honda service guy about setting expectations. If the idiot I spoke to on Thursday had told me there was a chance I’d spend that kind of money I wouldn’t have felt so blind-sided and kicked in the gut. At least I shamed Honda into giving me a $50 coupon off one of the belt-thingies. It didn’t make much of a difference but it helped.

I also feel better because I wanted to feel better. I am moving away from the crap. I knew I wasn’t going to let the circumstances and feelings of Friday ruin my Saturday, especially when it came to eating. Sure, I ended up having Chinese food for dinner (I needed it especially after actually handing over the credit “dread-it” card to pay for said automotive services) but I took care, exercised during the day, ate a sensible lunch, watched my portions, drank diet soda (Coke Cherry Zero rocks) and had it on smarter terms – my terms. I am still at 237.5 today and holding, which is great. And like Sundays are for so many people, today is catch-up day for me for basic mechanics, all puns intended, like laundry, groceries, etc., and also for exercise and weight loss planning for the new week.

There are so many times when we feel nervous, anxious, sad, weird, etc., especially getting ready to start a new week. There might be a job interview that doesn’t feel quite right, family members that put you down when they shouldn’t or money worries that have you wondering about how to even pay bills (like me, when I least expected to drop $2K on a car and had to re-re-adjust finances to hope things settle OK). But it is OK. We all need help getting our minds back in order even if there is doubt about the direction in which we’re headed. At least we are moving away from the crap.

Like the little voice inside my head that wonderfully reminds me we all must still control that which we can control especially when it comes to eating and weight loss. “Don’t stress about the eating. You know what you’re doing. And it’s ok to say ‘I’m going to eat this because I know the consequences,’” while, at the same time, recognizing what I was doing and why. I set the expectation for myself. I had a crap-tastic day and I ate comfort food. But life goes on, and so must we all. See? I am moving away from the crap.

As we all get ready for the start of another week we need to harness these voices in our heads for ourselves and about ourselves. These will help us just keep going. You’ll do great, especially knowing you are moving further and further away from the bad things in life – the crap. Moving away from that mental “ick” makes me healthier and better, and when you move away from your mental “ick” it helps. Believe me it does.

I had many people reach out to me yesterday over this strange, futuristic light box called a computer and offer me wonderful and kind words to help me feel better. It did. And while the hugs and thoughts may be virtual, they still helped so, so much move away from the crap of Friday. I hope as we get ready to start a new week full of new stuff and possibilities I can offer that same virtual hug back. We are all in this together, going through it all at the same time in our own funky ways. And you are never alone, especially when it comes to losing weight while dealing with all this “ick.”

Whenever I feel rundown, tired, overly anxious, nervous, distressed, worried or upset I know it’s time for me to just stop and go to sleep. That’s when I can end my day, no matter what’s going on, put my head down and recharge my batteries at least enough to tackle whatever situation comes up in life. Yes, sleep is a beautiful thing and yesterday, particularly in the afternoon, was no exception.

On Thursday, as I was driving my Honda Pilot back to southern New Jersey from New York (and that stupid, stupid $115 parking ticket) when the “maintenance required” light came on in my car. Nervous, I immediately called Honda and asked if the light came on in response to me reaching 105,000 miles. The guy on the phone said “yes, probably,” at which point I asked how much a service would be. He quoted me a price of about $250 and I went ahead and scheduled the service for Friday (yesterday). Only when I get to the service bay I find out that it’s not going to be $250, but more like $1,500 as the 105,000 mile service is the most comprehensive. Talk about bait-and-switch “shock.” And the “awe” part comes in when (and I knew this was coming) they told be I was told I had to replace my brakes, both front and rear, too, to the tune of another $500. Yep, a $2,000 trip to the car doctor added onto the $115 ticket I received and I felt miserable, rundown, overly anxious, distressed, worried and upset.

My first reaction was anger. “Why the f$#k would a person on the phone quote me such a low amount if they all supposedly knew there are “different levels” of the most comprehensive (read expensive) service they can do?” My second reaction was depression. “I can’t really afford this right now. But I need my car to be dependable,” and they totally have you over a barrel because you’re afraid if you don’t get it done your car will all but fall apart on you and you won’t be safe.

My third and final reaction? “Where’s the junk food?”

Yes, I am an emotional eater and always have been. Yesterday knocked me for a loop, came out of left field and whatever other cliché you want to use for I had the wind taken out of my sales with such a hefty price tag. All that made me want to do is drown my sorrows – and being a food-a-holic that’s exactly what I did. Earlier in the day I succumbed to the temptation and had two doughnuts, but it was all downhill from there. In the afternoon I had a pint of strawberry ice-cream. Yes, a whole pint. And for dinner I had loaded potato salad, a couple of kielbasa and, yes, a tall, delicious ice-cold Coca-Cola.

Damn. I wish I hadn’t done all that. I knew it was bad but I soooooo needed comfort food. I am human after all and yesterday sucked. Not as bad as a fraction of what’s going on in the world but it sucked in my world. After I’d eaten I knew it was time for sleep, when the mind, body and spirit just start shutting down as if light switches are one-by-one turned off in an office building or arena. I needed sleep. I couldn’t fight anymore. I was done.

But today is a new day and I have gotten my sleep. Sleep enough to let Honda know how displeased I am with the punch in the gut I got over the price. Sleep enough to get my ass to the gym to work off the silly, stupid and indulgent food binge I went on yesterday (yes, I gained back a pound and two ounces). Most of all, I got sleep enough to know it will all be OK, and that I will not let a kick in the chins derail my weight loss goal or my eating habits over the weekend (which, by the way, I’m not nervous about this weekend). I know I have to watch what I eat this weekend. I know I have to exercise. I was doing well and I will keep doing well especially being this/close to the “battle of the final ten.”

That is what sleep does, after all. It gives us energy to start a new day with the glass half-full instead of half-empty. Sleep is, indeed, a beautiful thing.

I can honestly say I had an excellent adventure to The Big Apple yesterday. Well, sort of…

I started my day as I knew I would, with my fruit and medium coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts with extra cream and extra crunchy (extra sugar). As I hit the road and enjoyed my coffee (in which they actually got the right amount of crunchiness) I was psyching myself up for what I knew would be an adventure filled with many food temptations, starting with the rest stops along the way.

Since I live in southern New Jersey I pass five rest areas along the New Jersey Turnpike – the Alexander Hamilton, the Joyce Kilmer, the Thomas A. Edison, the Richard Stockton and the Molly Pitcher. I started my day by having coffee and fruit because each one of these rest stops has a temptation I’d pull over for in a heartbeat.  Which temptations do you ask? I have three words for you: Cinnabon, Burger King and Nathan’s Hot Dogs. Just  writing about it makes me drool at the thought of a delicious, oh-so-decadent warm cinnamon roll with extra frosting, a hot and juicy, freshly-made Whopper with cheese (which my former self did have for breakfast, along with hash browns and mega-large Coke for breakfast) or a couple of awesome hot dogs with everything (a good one-handed road food). But I resisted. It was difficult but I did.

So I got to New York and, true to form, morning traffic was nuts. But I expected that. By the time I got to the Better TV offices on Lexington I was full of coffee and full of gumption that I wasn’t going to eat badly (and yes, I know, I know – I’m full of something alright). I even found a parking spot on the street just a block-and-a-half from the place. Awesome (well, sort of…)

When I arrive at the offices I was shown to the “green room,” where (insert ominous music here, or your standard dum, dum, duuuuum) a tray of some extremely delicious-looking pastries, muffins and bagels lie in front of me, each one of the delicacies calling to me and my taste buds “eat me, eat me, Bill.” “Ha,” I said. Well, actually I said “bite me,” and I had, instead a snack of some of the fresh fruit they had on a tray next to the evil (but yummy-looking) baked goods.

After a small snack of some grapes, strawberries and a piece of pineapple I was ready for my close-up, Mr. & Mrs. DeMille. And the shoot went great. The people at Better TV, especially host Audra Lowe, were great. I even got to tape a second, slightly-longer segment for airing either on the web or in markets where they have more time. I was thrilled and they seemed to like me. They really liked me, and I was out in time to go rescue my car from its street parking spot before it turned into a pumpkin. Well, sort of…

First I had to run something of a mini-gauntlet. While this one didn’t have the little red-haired girl, the clown, the colonel or the king, it did have a few restaurants that had come alive for the lunch crowd and were not open when I arrived. I passed a great-looking deli, with its wonderful tray of free samples beckoning me to taste. I passed an awesome looking Cuban restaurant and its fried wonders (although I do love me a Cuban sandwich every now and then), the smells of the food calling me to come inside and have some lunch. I also passed a great-smelling Halal-type cart where fresh chicken was frying up with some type of saucy goo that, while I didn’t know what was in it sure smelled good.

But I made it through and got to my car. I knew I had only a couple of minutes left but I should be good, no ticket for an expired meter. But wait, what was this…

…A $115 ticket for my wheels being on the sidewalk?! You’ve gotta be s%$#@&*g me?! I looked down and, wouldn’t you know, because the sidewalk and curb were so low to the street and I had no idea I had actually parked on the curb, I was parked a few (A FEW) inches onto the curb. I mean I didn’t pull an action movie or “Blues Brothers” and park completely on the sidewalk. I honestly couldn’t feel in my car I had parked on the stupid, way-too-low curb. Grrrrrrr.

I was pissed. PISSED I tell you. I was so angry I felt like the Hulk, but instead of wanting to “smash” this Hulk wanted to now eat. I’ve always said I’m an emotional eater, and those emotions run to anger, as well. When I’m angry and my adrenaline is going I feel like eating everything. I felt like going back and having some good New York deli, followed by a fried Cuban hot pockety thing they were selling and a dessert of some of that chicken with goo from the cart. I knew I had to just get in my car and get away from those temptations. And that’s what I did. I got back on the road.

And even though I was sloooooooowly calming down I was still pretty angry, and I still had to run the final gauntlet – the five rest stops I could easily resist before but now…let’s say my resolve was waning. I have to say the most tempting of the bunch was to pull over and have a Cinnabon, since they are only located in rest stops, malls (not my mall) or airports. But I didn’t. Nor did I pull over for a Whopper (my favorite fast food burger) or a hot dog (I did OD on those when I was recently home, anyway). Nah, I only had one food item on my mind and even though I was steamed enough to beat out the sun I only wanted a grilled chicken sandwich from Chick-Fil-A and Diet Dr. Pepper.

So I survived my trip, sort of. I resisted the urges that tempt us all every single day but it was quite an expensive adventure. However, I know in my head in my heart those two things should be reversed. I did get a stupid, asinine $115 ticket from the City of New York (screw you, very much) but I did hold strong and did not overeat…

…and that is a victory any day of the year.

Happy mega-late-Wednesday night/super-duper early-Thursday morning, my friends.

Since I have to be in New York City Thursday morning for an appointment (I was lucky enough to get an opportunity to talk about the website and weight loss on the nationally-syndicated BetterTV), I decided to do tomorrow’s blog tonight. Er, or today’s blog yesterday. However you want to look at it. It feels kind of weird because I’m so used to getting up every morning, rolling back over when I see it’s earlier than I think, getting up again because it’s then later than I want, stretching and writing my daily weight loss blog post.

Yeah, I’m breaking up my routine. It happens from time to time to all of us. We get sick with a stomach bug that lays us up for days, or we travel out of town to visit a son’s graduation or we blow out our knees and have to take it easy to heal our joints and give them tender loving care. No matter what the circumstance, crap always happens and it’s during that time that a ripple effect occurs – when everything in our day gets thrown off, even eating, because of one tiny pebble thrown into the lake of our daily lives.

These past few days I have really taken advantage of detoxing from Coke to combine that with eating better and exercising to bring my weight down to a mere 12.5 pounds above my goal. But what makes me nervous is that having to get up early to beat New York traffic (o.k., NO ONE beats New York traffic but you know what I mean) to get to the TV studio on time means I have to throw off the rhythm of my day, including what and how I eat.

Sure I’m going to start out my day with my simple cup of coffee and fruit, like I always do, but having that be earlier than usual by a few hours, getting on the road, the increase of tension with less-than-agreeable other drivers, general nervousness and location all mean that the meals that follow may or may not get to be the healthiest I could have. Does New York have healthier food choices? Oh, yeah it does. But will I be close to any of them? I simply don’t know.

My brain tells me I’m being silly, that I know what I should and shouldn’t have and, therefore, won’t have it. I’ll wait until either a healthier choice pops up or wait until I return to good ol’ Cherry Hill, New Jersey for a morsel of din. But I know the rest of me better than that. I know the little devil that sometimes rules over my stomach which says “ah, go on. How often are you going to be in New York? Go to that Halal cart you like so much and get yourself a nice heaping plate of chicken and lamb, rice, pita and wash it all down with an ice-cold Co – “, er, you know, the soda that shall not be named.

So tomorrow, like it is so many times during a day or in a week, becomes a chance to flex some will (Bill) power and NOT put tempting foods in my mouth. No one forces me to eat bad foods no matter where I am. And that number on the scale IS coming down and I want it to keep coming down to re-reach my 225 pounds. So to help occupy my brain I’ll play a game I like to play especially during Oscar time – changing the names of television shows or movies into food-related pun names (kind of like the adult film industry does but much, much cleaner). Some I’ve already thought of are:

• Planet of the Grapes
• Pie Hard
• Family Pie
• Lord of the Onion Rings (One Onion Ring to Rule Them All)
• The Breakfast Club Sandwich
• The Codfather
• The French Toast Connection
• The Hunt for Bread October
• Hot Sub Time Machine
• Iron Manwich 2
• Chex and the City

I will be OK I’m sure of it, no matter whether I play a cheesy, geeky name game or not. And on Friday morning I will tell you guys all about the show, but most of all I’ll tell you how I didn’t give in to the smells and tastes of one of the greatest food cities on Earth.