Determined To Succeed

Happy weekend, my friends. I am just returned from attending Kenwood Academy’s 40-year all-class high school reunion. I have to say I wasn’t quite sure what to expect exactly. There’s a part of me that was expecting sweeping changes, the futuristic visions we’ve all seen in movies – an almost completely foreign inside building with only the outside facade remaining. Then there’s part of me that was hoping it didn’t change THAT much. That I would still recognize the layout, classrooms and even some of the people – so that coming back meant, in part, coming home.

It was both.

I woke up yesterday excited at the chance to visit Kenwood, and that excitement turned into vast hunger and I all but inhaled a huge (HUGE) breakfast that I knew was bad for me (and this after having my requisite hot dogs). Ugh. But I ate knowing I was saving myself for the main event, and not knowing what kinds of food would be served I wanted to be prepared for anything.

I am glad I ate that huge breakfast, too, because I sat in the second worst traffice of my entire life (the first worst being one gruelling two-hour morning on southbound Lake Shore Drive going probably half the distance) on my way to the thing. It took me two-and-a-half hours to get there from near the airport to Hyde Park. Add to that my growing excitement and I was thinking I was definitely going to be hungry.

When I arrived there was only one other person from my 1988 graduating class, Dionne, who also just happened to be the event organizer. So instead of catching up she had things to do, places to go and people to kill which left me standing there watching as others saw their classmates, gave hugs and talked about the past x-number of years.I felt a bit alone, but there was a cool sense of being back in something that looked – and felt – familiar. So I just stood there and drank it in.

Surprisingly, there were a ton of people from Kenwood’s original 1970 graduating class. It was so cool to be standing there amongst people who were there to “break in” the school, who saw it’s brand new walls, who named its King Room (yes, after Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.) and who were the first to graduate from this awesome place.

Then, something remarkable happened. As I was talking to several people from the 1970 graduating class it occured to one guy whose name escapes me (sorry, dude) who said, “so, you were born the year we graduated high school?!” All of a sudden, in a world that today seems to be filled with people getting younger and younger, I felt like the young one. I somewhat embarrassingly said “yes, sir. I was,” but thought to myself “I never thought I’d hear someone say that to me about me. Sweet.”

Then a few familiar faces showed up and the evening got better – and louder. People from almost every class were so excited to see people and all of us, with our respective classmates, walked the halls one last time. We noticed the big things were still the same: the buildings and halls were the same, the restrooms on each floor STILL had the front doors removed. Hell, even the band room, save for one piece of new digital looking equipment almost hidden in the front looked exactly the same. The auditorium had the same seats and the halls almost had even the same smell if there ever was such a thing. It was the small differences that made the night – the wonderful addition of wheelchair-accessible elevators at key points in the building, the new lockers were really skinny (to accomodate many more students, I guess) AND BLUE. Metal and weapon detectors at all the entrances (very sad it’s come to that in high schools these days). Kids talking on and texting with cell phones (if we wanted to get a message to someone we had to – gasp – pass notes).

The best new addition – a fully-stocked weight and workout room. This thing was so cool. All of us 86-87-88ers marvelled at it and became instantly jealous that students, on a free period, could work out if they wanted. And that the teams had far better equipment to use. Freaking sweet. That thing was better equiped than my gym. It’s wonderful to see fitness actually take hold in schools.

I didn’t stick around for the food, though (chicken, veggies and pasta). By almost ten o’clock I was done. I had walked the halls, laughed with old friends and remembered what it was like to be young again. God, how I wish I could go back to that time in my life. I do, sometimes. We all do sometimes. But as I walked out I noticed the newer generation of current Kenwood Broncos enjoying themselves and making the memories that will make them come back to this place twenty years from now.

As you are now, I once was. As I am now, you will be.

I thought about that wonderful saying as I ate my turkey BLT club trying to avoid the fries but failing. I may not be that young anymore but I do have the rest of my life to look forward to because I’ve lost this weight. Who know? I might not even have been here now if I hadn’t lost it all. No matter what, I am glad I went. I will be a Bronco for life and the memories I made in that school have become a part of the living history of it.

I just hope the food in the lunchroom isn’t the same. Although, I do miss a good piece of cheese toast and the taste of a dry-ass cheeseburger every now and then.

How many of you went to your 20-year high school reunion? Show of hands…anyone…anyone…Bueller…Bueller… Two years ago in August was my 20th anniversary of graduating high school and I didn’t go primarily because, one, it was expensive, and two, because of Facebook. Yes, that nifty little thing called Facebook connected me with so many wonderful people from those days I thought it would be unnecessary to attend.

Well, that was then and this is now.

Recently I learned that good ‘ol Kenwood Academy was hosting an all-class 40-year reunion today, actually held at the school. You know, just like in the movies. In “Superman III,” “Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion,” “Zack and Miri,” and so many more the heroes go back to their respective high schools and the wackiness ensued from there. I always secretly thought that was cool since I was nerdy enough to like certain aspects of my schooling particularly the bricks and mortar that made up my “homes away from home.”

So it was with (mild) reckless abandon that I quickly packed a bag and headed to Chicago today to attend tonight’s festivities. Another thing that is making me happy is the fact that the monies collected actually go to programs at the school, not some cheesy banquet hall, hotel or other facility (and it’s cheaper – God, I am getting old).

Now as you guys know, Chicago food hits you as soon as you get off the plane, but I was good and avoided the temptations of my sweet home Chicago Chicago-style hot dogs (and no offense intended toward my friends in and around Philly. Hot dogs, Italian Beef sandwiches, pizza and Chinese food is all different – and better – here, like when you guys get a cheesesteak from your favorite places). However, I didn’t avoid that temptation for long and had a couple, with everything, fries and (sigh) a Coke.

But it was goooooooooooood!

OK, with the craving for hot dogs out of my system I have to both go for a workout today AND avoid over-indulgence. The latter shouldn’t be too hard, although I do want to eat before I get to the reunion which is tonight because I need to avoid the sweet food temptations of my old neighborhood (Harold’s Chicken or Valois anyone?) as well as the foods being served at the reunion, itself. While I am sure the food will be good, I get in trouble with all-you-could-eat situations like that and want to avoid that if I can.

So where is the middle ground?

Middle ground (and I don’t know why but Middle Earth somehow came to my mind – my PRECIOUS!!!) comes in the form of egg rolls from my favorite place in the world right now for Chinese food. It’s on Michigan Avenue downtown called Sixty-Five Seafood and they have egg rolls, bbq pork noodles, kung pao chicken and pepper steak to die for. They are PRECIOUS!!!!

This means I will be swinging by there later today for a combination late lunch/grab some hometown egg rolls/stave off the other bad foods run. I am so looking forward to it. Then I will be off to the reunion.

I am feeling a bit goofy today. I feel younger. I think about so many things from those many long-put-away days from 1984 – 1988 especially food, when I ate whatever I wanted seemingly without consequence. I think about what I wanted to do in life. I think about where I’d thought I’d be…

…I think about my mom, JoAnn (and you can bet your bottom dollar I will be swinging by the park where I spread her ashes to say HI).

Most of all I think about time and how precious (no reference intended…this time) a gift it is. I may be slightly more than two decades removed from gym period, english class, history, driver’s ed, biology and (ick), trigonometry, but I nowe have a grasp on one thing I didn’t back then – myself and how I eat. I want to be around for a good, long time and losing the weight I did has dramatically helped me prolong my life. It helped me not goive into the self-fulling prophecies of obesity – poor quality of life, immobility and potential sudden medical “episodes” like strokes and heart attacks. It also helped me become more active so I can enjoy things I never could before – like even sitting on a plane, in the middle seat (it was what was available) and not have to worry if I’d be making people uncomfortable on either side, and dancing and bopping to my favorite 80s songs from time to time (I hope they play some tonight).

That is why I am no longer worried about food when I come home. Sure it’s better (it’s always better in your hometown) but nothing – NOTHING – is better than the taste of adding years and quality to your own life.

Now, bring on that reunion and let’s “Wang Chung” tonight, and I will tell Clark Kent, Romy and Michelle, Zack, Miri and Ferris you say HI.

My friends, I have been honored.

Yesterday, Unbeknownst to me and on the same day I wrote part one of my blog post about him, martial arts and self defense expert Doug Shaffer, my sensei, wrote his blog post about me (WHICH YOU CAN READ BY CLICKING HERE) . It was very cool to read how my workouts could inspire a teacher who has been doing this for as long as he has, especially when just being in his class inspires me (and by the way I DID TWO HONEST-TO-GOODNESS PUSH-UPS YESTERDAY).

In my blog yesterday I began my Q&A with Sensei Doug about how mixed martial arts can be awesome for physical fitness. Today, I continue my conversation with Doug so grab your morning cup of coffee and jump into (or kick or punch) reading more about the benefits of using MMAs (mixed martial arts) to enhance a weight loss journey…

Sensei, what do you want people to learn when they come to you inquiring about MMAs as a way to improve fitness? Are your goals the same as theirs?

I guess the biggest thing I want people to understand is that everyone can do this at any point in their lives. It’s never too late to get yourself in shape and start moving. Everyone has reservations about embarking upon a life change such as this, but when you have good coaching, it’s a gradual, beneficial change that is much longer lasting. My goals as a teacher are the same as my students’. Most teachers might have a different opinion, but not me. I’m in the business of improving the quality of people’s lives through staying healthy, training, and learning. I still compete, and I still train everyday, just as my students do. The students tell me that they, too, are there in order to improve their lives through what I have to offer. We all treat each other as an extended family and every time a new student walks in the door, they are welcomed as a part of that family. We all have learned over time that this is not easy, but we also lean on each other for support along the way. I want everyone to know that they can do this! EVERYONE can practice.

What kind of diets do you suggest people follow to go along with MMA training?

This is a complicated question, and the answer is subject to the needs of the person training. Again, please ask your doctor first. If you’re not used to any kind of training at all, you’ll need to do some research as to what to eat to provide the correct nutrients and long lasting natural energy. Asking your health care professional is the best place to start.

What are the benefits of doing MMAs? Toning? Strength training? Etc?

MMA is a great way to not only improve your cardiovascular health, but increase your range of motion, and flexibility while toning and developing. It really is a complete system that calls on your whole body to perform. During an average session you’ll not only be burning calories, but you’ll be focusing on the development of your body and getting closer to the way you want to see yourself in the mirror. It’s a very rewarding feeling watching your arms, chest, back, and stomach begin to chisel out after just your first few weeks – yes, I said weeks – of training. There is no such thing as being too strong. This is your time to improve yourself and work on your own personal goals.

What is a good recommended workout regimen in terms of days per week, hours per day and time spent?

If you are just getting started with a new routine, I recommend training at least three times per week. If you are training in a studio or a gym with a trainer, they will have a program in place for you that will have you working anywhere from 45 minutes to and hour. When you are not at the gym, it’s important to stay lose and open by stretching at home, and making sure you’re staying on track with the proper diet as recommended by your doctor. Diet and exercise must work together in order to have any good results. If you’ve already been training for some time you might want to try bumping up to 4-5 days per week. Most importantly, it’s key to listen to your body. If you feel that you’re over doing it you need to take time to rest and prepare for the next session. Your body will tell you when it’s tired. Please take time to enjoy what you do.

Want to know the kicker (ha, I made a martial arts joke)? Even though I leave Sensei Doug’s class drained and tired I always go back and try to do something I’ve learned harder and faster, to test what I’ve learned and to build on that now that my body has warmed up a bit and isn’t so stiff.

So if you’re thinking about fitness, just like Daniel-san found out in “The Karate Kid,” it all starts with a great teacher. Thanks, Doug, for everything. See you again soon.

Recently, I had the incredible opportunity to begin my mixed martial arts workouts with martial arts and self defense expert Doug Shaffer. I knew this was going to be a series of down-and-dirty workouts. I knew I was going to sweat. I knew I was going to sleep until noon (well, 9:30 a.m.). I knew I was going to hurt…and I love every minute of it.

The martial arts I am learning are a mixture of Kempo karate, Jiu-Jitsu and American kickboxing, so I started my training by learning how to punch. I put on my MMA (mixed martial arts) gloves and I went to work learning how to throw a punch (something I am proud to say I have never done in my life in the real world) using the heavy bag. Next came kicks. Yep, no “Karate Kid”  “wax on, wax off,” “hang your jacket up” stuff. I went right into kicking and how to properly kick (with a flat foot against the target). Then into using my knees. Then into a combo of all three.

Can you imagine the sweat dripping from me after each class? Believe me, it’s in buckets. But that’s a good thing. That is what I signed up for. To give you all a little insight into what I’ve been talking about these past almost eight weeks I asked my sensei Doug a few questions about martial arts and why it seems more and more people are taking it to enhance a weight loss journey…

How many people come to you, like me, wanting to take MMAs as a way to lose weight/stay in shape?

“More then you’d think! Most people see UFC on television and say to themselves “I wish I could get that same type of workout, but I really don’t want to get elbowed in the jaw. Does such a workout exist?” Yes. Not all of us have an interest in competition on a professional level. Some of my students do, but my most popular adult programs are fitness based. These days people tell me that their two main reasons for training are stress relief and weight loss. What better way to combine the two worlds then hitting things? Out of all the adults I have in my studio, I’d say a good 85 percent are in it to stay in shape.”

What mixed martial arts do you teach? Why those particular ones?

“The styles of martial arts that I teach are the ones that I have had the most training in. I’ve been studying Kenpo karate for over 20 years now. I first started training in 1987. Kenpo’s main focus is on stand-up striking, and stand-up self defense. In the late 1980s, it was becoming very popular and is a very effective “street” art. I also teach Gracie Jiu Jitsu. Let’s face it, any good old street fight is going to end up on the ground. Although I did not get into my jiu jitsu training until 2006, this system of self defense from the ground, and the science of grappling has always held a special place in my heart. From the very first time I saw Royce Gracie in UFC 1, I knew that was a technique that I needed to learn. I discovered my teachers through a friend. I had no idea there was even a Gracie studio in or near Philadelphia until four years ago. I feel these two art forms offer something for everyone. I chose to teach them because I feel that it’s important to be ready for any type of situation on the street.”

What originally got you started and interested mixed martial arts?

“My interest in the martial arts started from the time I saw my first Bruce Lee movie. Like most kids my age, we all played around with the moves we saw on the silver screen. Bruce was the first person I’d ever seen that made things like that seem possible for a little guy like me. Add to that the fact I went to a VERY tough school growing up, and you’ve got the recipe for a kid that NEEDS to learn how to protect himself. At least two, maybe even three times per week, I’d get into a fight in the schoolyard because I did not like to take crap from anyone. I’d also have no trouble standing up to people twice my size if one of my friends was being bugged by some bully. It really got to the point where people knew I’d fight, so they’d look for me first.”

How can this type of training be good for weight loss and fitness?

“With the advent of programs such as cardio kickboxing, Tae Bo, and even the famous P90X, this training is becoming very easy for the public to get its hands on. A traditional martial arts workout will focus on only the areas that increase strength for standing positions. Growing up, we used to do countless amounts of stance drills. We’d practice kicking, punching, and blocking with partners, and we’d spar at the end of every class. This style of training is great for muscle tone and endurance, but it fails to activate and use every important muscle group needed. When you incorporate ground fighting and grappling, you are now able to target the rest of the body in a way that the stand-up skills lack. In order to have a complete workout, you need to be training your entire body every time you practice. Mixed martial arts does not give the body a chance to overlook a single movement.”

Does a person need to be in the “best physical shape” to begin taking MMAs?

“Absolutely not. A person can come to me in the worst shape they’ve ever been in, and still get the best training they’ve ever had. I was speaking to my class some months ago about this very same subject because this is the most common objection I hear. “I’m not strong enough to do that,” or, “I’d hurt myself if I tried that.”  One of my students said it better then I could have, and this has become a mantra for that particular class: “this is an evolution, not a revolution.” If you’re in bad shape to start with, and you make the personal commitment to change, you’ve already started your journey! The point in coming to class is so that you see the change happen in front of yourself over time and that you also enjoy the learning experience. Every exercise that we do can be altered or modified to fit any body type. As you get stronger, you work closer to your ideal body position. You don’t have to be in “perfect” shape at all. If you are in great shape, we take the training to the next level. I can always give a student more or less, depending on your needs. Any good coach should be in touch with the student’s needs.”

After my classes I am exhausted, sweaty (scratch that. I was mega-sweaty) and thirsty, but what incredible workouts they are. They’re the kind of workouts that should hurt. Sweat means you are burning fat and I am doing that. I am working muscles I never knew I had (like behind and under my shoulders) and I was getting my body into a new kind of workout to help trim off these pesky remaining pounds and, hopefully, firm up what’s left. And when you have an instructor like Sensei Doug, who wants to help people not just train-up for martial arts but get to their personal goals or weight loss, fitness or self-defense it turns a hard-as-hell workout into a partnership.

There is a saying in the studio in which we train which I have shared before and am going to share with you all again today, because it applies to all aspects of life…“A black belt is a white belt who didn’t quit.”

Damn right, and neither will I. Hell, if I can do it with my flabby arms, thighs and belly, anyone can.

About Doug Shaffer: Doug Shaffer, a seasoned martial arts and self-defense instructor with more than 20 years of personal training experience, is one of the most sought after mixed martial arts trainers in the region. Doug currently holds a third-degree black belt in kenpo karate, a second-degree black belt in Filipino Arnis, and a blue belt in Gracie Jiu Jitsu.  He is currently pursuing a purple belt in Gracie Jiu Jitsu from Balance Studios in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.  He also studies Ashtanga Yoga with Phil Migliarese, a protégé of the late Sri K. Pattabhi Jois.  Doug currently trains people out of his studio in Lansdale, Pennsylvania. To contact him, please visit www.amerikicklansdale.com.

Sometimes we all need a kick in the ass to remind us of the wonderful gifts we have been given in life. Sure, that kick could come when seeing someone who doesn’t have means standing on the street begging for money as we enter a Starbucks Coffee to order a $5 cup of coffee. However today, that kick means something different and something so fundamental that even that coffee buyer and the beggar have in common…the ability to walk.

Yesterday, I was doing research in the local Barnes & Noble Bookstore, looking up words and phrases and clauses (sorry, I couldn’t resist the “Conjunction Junction” Schoolhouse Rock reference). I was looking up editor  information in magazines and had completed my task. “A cup of coffee sounds good right about now,” I thought to myself and I packed up what little I had brought in with me and headed toward the door.

When I got to the door I was reminded of life’s gifts. It was instant, resonant and humbling and didn’t come in the form of words but in the form of another human being.

At the door there was a woman, maybe in her 30s, holding the door for another. This other woman was walking slowly because she could not walk at all without the help of the two canes she carried, one in each hand. And not just normal canes. These had the four-pronged bottoms that help steady a person as they walk and she had two of them because her legs, swollen and big as they were, looked weak.

I held open the other door and both ladies said “you don’t have to” in the sweetest voices imaginable, and I said “don’t you worry about it at all” as the second lady slowly made her way to the threshold. There, I noticed the rest of her body was suffering the same malady. She looked up at me and in the kindest, sweetest voice possible she said “thank you so much” and my heart melted. I asked how their day was going and they said “fine” with smiles. As the second lady was through I offered “now, you stay cool and out of all this heat we’ve been having.” The first lady said “oh we will. She even gets cold in here.” I said, “good. Better than outside in all that heat.” I told both ladies to have a great rest of their day and they offered the same, the second lady looking up at me smiling with the biggest eyes you can imagine on a person.

As I left the store I realized two things: one, that most of the second lady’s strength was not in her limbs but in her heart. Two, that all of us who can walk – not run, jump, skip, dance, or kick – have a gift. It was obvious that this woman had some type of degenerative condition from which she will not recover. Why is it then we sit on our asses, us healthy people, and bitch about how little energy we have especially when it comes time to work out?

Yesterday served as a reminder to me that if you are of able body, no matter what your size, it behooves you to get up and make every day count physically. Those of us who are larger have obligations to ourselves NOT to just sit there but to get up to try to prolong our lives. Losing weight and eating better and exercising are the keys to doing that, keys which most of us have right there in front of us. Hell, I did it and I was 400 pounds. I started by walking, the one thing I knew I could do. The one and only thing this second woman could do.

You have heard me say from time to time that larger people have a responsibility to themselves to get up, and that is true. We have that responsibility because no one is, or should, do it for us. There is no magic pill for weight loss therefore it will come from our own hard work and effort. But shame on us if we squander the days we have, bigger or not, if he delay that process simply because we don’t “feel” like going for a walk. That’s bullshit. I’m sure that second woman would love to go for a simple walk unencumbered by her two walking canes.

So get up and do an exercise today, any exercise. Tummy crunch, push-up, sit-up, arm curl or simply go for a walk. Do it because you CAN go for a walk. Do it because your legs DO work, no matter what size they are. And do it knowing you have a gift – the gift of ability – that others do not have.  It doesn’t matter what size you are, either. When you awoke today you got up knowing you could do these things. So get up and do them, especially if you want to lose weight.

After all, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step so don’t squander them. For many of us that single step, as simple as it is, is not as easy for others and could very well be the hardest thing they could possibly do.

I know it is nowhere near Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, but I woke up on this Monday morning thinking about his beautiful August 28, 1963 “I Have A Dream” speech. And while weight loss is nowhere near the fight for civil rights, equality and justice, the speech and its words can ring true for many things including our weight loss journey.

When I started out losing weight it was never my goal to drop 175 lbs. It was only to drop ten or so pounds so my knee would stop hurting when I went to go see a freaking movie, my favorite hobby in the world. That was it. I never dared to dream I’d be able to lose the weight of a grown person, nor did I dream of being able to do some of the things I am enjoying now (everything from martial arts classes to shopping off-the-rack in “normal” stores).  Then when more and more weight came off I began to wonder “how far can this go? I don’t want surgery so I will try my best and see.”

I knew it would take hard work, passion and time but that’s when I began to dream.

When I lost that weight finally I realized I had reached “the promised land.” I dared to dream and I got to that dream and it was beautiful. Now I may have put on twenty pounds and am this/close to being back to just having to re-lose ten, which is awesome, but I am holding on here and will for the rest of my life. Although something has come up and I now have a new dream to achieve…

…my Calvin Klein suit pants.

As much as I love movies I love clothes shopping. I know, I know. A guy who loves shopping? Yes, and I am not ashamed of it, dammit. Last year I took a trip to a local outlet mall and visited the Calvin Klein store (when I dream I dream BIG, figuratively speaking). This store was having an INCREDIBLE sale (and since dropping all this weight I NEVER buy retail anymore) so I browsed and found something I thought I’d never find – a beautiful designer suit IN MY SIZE! Well, almost my size.

Calvin likes his clothes to have an athletic fit and this ain’t no athletic body, but I was absolutely lucky to find both the pants and suit jacket to match in my size and for so cheap a price (I think I paid $70 for a $525 suit). So I snatched it up and took it home. But when I tried on the pants they were a smidge too tight. I then hung the suit in my closet and dreamed again that one day I would reach that promised land, too.

With my martial arts classes I am doing much better in my workouts and my eating overall. But the pants I bought are still a bit too tight (no on should be able to see what month I was born because pants are too tight). But I will not fear, for I will get there. This is the most beautiful suit I have owned to date and I will not (NOT!) let it sit in my closet with its tags still on never worn in public.

I will get there. I do have a dream.

It may be cliche to have a pair of pants I want to fit into but it is part of a physical goal. I also know once I get to that goal I can’t stop or the pants will go back to being a smidge too tight. I certainly don’t want that and I want to wear that freaking suit! And I will.

If you have an item of clothing in which you want to fit, dare to dream. We are all on a journey to reach these goals. The actual number, size or item may be different for each and every person but our goal is the same. To lose weight. And we will get there and be free at last from these extra, stubborn pounds. So do not ever give up on your weight loss dreams…

…so you can one day share with me your dreams and feelings having reached the promised land.

It’s usually not my style to be a bummer on weekends, especially since I have taken to writing just one blog to cover both Saturday and Sunday, but I learned of something rather disturbing and I wanted to share it with you.

The Chicago Sun-Times media wire has reported that a woman with a history of obesity died Thursday after collapsing at a popular eatery in Oak Lawn. Cheryl Varnado-Turner, 44, of 7259 S. Seeley Ave., collapsed at the Portillos restaurant in Oak Lawn and was pronounced dead at 5:59 p.m. Thursday, according to a Cook County Medical Examiner’s spokeswoman. Varnado-Turner has a history of obesity, the spokeswoman said. An autopsy determined Varnado-Turner died of coronary atherosclerosis and dilated cardiomyopathy, and her death was ruled natural.

I learned of this story from a dear friend of mine in Chicago and it really disturbed me on a few levels.

One – The original article didn’t list the name of the restaurant which is weird given that most stories  pull info from the police reports. I knew it was Portillos because my friend told me (she’s from that area). I’ve eaten and enjoyed many-a-meal from Portillos. It’s the place I keep telling you guys about with the delicious Italian Beef sandwiches and Chicago-style hot dogs. I’ve eaten Portillos hot dogs for years, particularly from their downtown Chicago location, and have been guilty of DUIPHD (driving under the influence of Portillos hot dogs).  Shame on the Sun-Times news wire for not saying the name of the place and for giving people enough credit to know it wasn’t their food that killed this woman (but more on that later) but her bad health.

Two – I did that kind of eating at 400 pounds and this woman’s tragic end could have been my own. It could have been me who died in this restaurant, or any restaurant, particularly the Chinese food restaurant I love. I still eat what I want but when I was that weight all it would have taken was one egg roll, hot dog, burger, Italian Beef, or stick of carrot to push me over the edge.

Three – Why is this news? The story made me mad because I doubt a story would have even been written if the woman was thin. It’s because this woman was obese and just happened to pass away in a fast food restaurant that it was news worthy, which leads me even more to think Portillos wanted to disassociate itself not from a tragedy but from obesity since so many fast food chains are feeling the backlash of the obesity epidemic in America. Again shame on the paper for not saying the name but also shame on Portillos for that disassociation.

I understand how easy it is for people, thin people in particular, to misinterpret and misunderstand this situation. I can see how they’d think it’s 100% lack of eating self control without even giving a thought to whether or not  it is sometimes the emotional side driving that eating, or a medical issue, etc.  Many people, yours truly included, don’t use tobacco, alcohol or drugs when bad things happen. We chose food. I still choose food sometimes. I am an emotional eater. It’s not that I don’t have self-control it’s that I eat when I am frustrated or scared or have anxiety. However now I try to do the right things – exercise, eat properly and recognize when I am weak.

It so could have been me.

Do not get me wrong, though. This story also disturbs me because this woman had to have known Portillos wasn’t the best choice for food. O.K., that was a nice way of saying she should have known better (if, indeed, it was just about overeating/eating bad foods and not an undisclosed health or injury problem). If you read this blog you know I firmly believe that we have a responsibility to ourselves as big people to “own the problem” we have. We are obese and we should do something about it instead of waiting for others to solve it for us. But nooooo, thanks to infomercials and other faster, quicker options we get snookered into thinking our weight issues can be solved by others and without the hard work of changing a diet for the better and exercising. It is hard work and it does take time…period.

I am sad for this woman and her family today, not just because they lost a loved one and a woman lost her life but for the ways in which this story will be interpreted. On one hand, some will say “see, she got what she deserved being that big.” And others will say “wow, I need to do something so I don’t end up like that.” And on this weekend I sincerely hope someone of size sees this story and thinks the latter and it helps save a life or two.

This way, Cheryl didn’t die in vain or as a joke like Elvis and his fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches on the toilet. People need and deserve more dignity than that.

“Inception.” Have you guys seen that movie yet? It’s truly awesome. I can’t even describe how good it is because it is so layered, so precise in its writing, I’d be surprised if it didn’t win Best Original Screenplay at next year’s Oscars. Why do I bring up “Inception?” ‘Cause even if you haven’t seen the movie, chances are you’ve seen the previews for it. You know the ones I mean where the streets begin folding themselves inward like walls closing in on you. That shot alone, where the city street does that is worth the price of admission alone.

Having a sweet tooth can be the same type of experience and damn did I have a sweet tooth attack yesterday.

I swear to God it was all I could think about and all I could do to NOT give into the temptation of running to the store that is right around the corner, finding the cookie aisle, grabbing what my arm could carry and waltzing out of there with a stash that would make that freaking Keebler Elf go hide in his tree.

And don’t get me started on that part of my brain that wants the delicious sweetness that is Häagen-Dazs strawberry ice-cream. Dammit! I have wanted a pint so bad I almost drove to Wawa at 3:00 a.m. to get one. And who in the hell thinks that anyone can eat anything less than the whole pint?! To me, that is the serving size. That ice-cream is so, well, creamy and good.

Oh, did I mention how much the Coca-Cola cases have been calling my name? It’s like the Sirens luring sailors with their song. Ever since that food binge of a week-and-a-half ago I have steered clear of Coke actually (I had to give it time to drain from my veins), drinking nature’s soft drink, water, instead. I can honestly tell you this is one battle I am winning, though, easier than my ever-growing sweet tooth, too.

Ugh! What do bad things have to surround us all the time?! You go into a store and BAM, there they are! Chips, dips, cookies, candies and sodas. They get ya’ coming in and they get ya’ going out! Not to mention all the aisles in-between like a dream where you can’t get away from the killer. The walls keep shifting, the reality keeps changing. It’s like I’m being followed by the snacking industry and they are placing things around just when my tongue says “can I have one of those?” They make the impulse buy sections and snack food aisles close in just like those streets in “Inception.”

All this is why I like keeping a stash of my favorite sweet treat in the house – clementine oranges. I throw a stash of these in the fridge and I have a ready-made, natural and sweet way to keep the munchies away. I have spoken about the awesome power of the clementine before. They are a seedless, wonderful snack (especially when served chilled out of the fridge). They give you something to chew on, satisfying that craving, and fill you up for a while to get you from lunch to dinner. They are close but no substitution for chocolate, however.

Sigh. Today’s blog is going to be short my friends because I think I’m going right back under the covers until this latest attack of the munchies subsides. This is not the weakest I’ve ever been (thanks to my martial arts classes I am seeing results and don’t want those thwarted) but it’s close. I may not be as screwed up as Leonardo DiCaprio in that film (again worth every penny should you decide to see it) but like him, I need to control what is going on inside my head and straighten out those closed-in streets and avoid the snack aisles…

…and snap out of this dream within a dream (where I could have one, maybe two sweet rolls without gaining an ounce) and come back to the real world.

It’s amazing what punching and kicking a heavy bag will do to get your mind right again.

Yesterday was my usual martial arts class and, as usual, I worked myself up into a sweat within minutes which is totally awesome. I knew with the funk I have been in I needed to get my head back in the game and punching and kicking the bag was just what the doctor (inside my head) ordered. Problem is it is so physically taxing I can easily wear myself out. You’d be surprised how just shadowboxing can make you sweat and wear you out. Don’t believe me, try it sometime. Stand in front of a mirror (not too close) and throw some punches using your reflection as your opponent. Throwing a punch and having it make no contact uses a ton of energy. It is great, and you will not look as silly as you think you are doing it. Trust me, it rocks.

And can I just tell you guys – I DID MY ONE SOLID AND TRUE PUSH-UP!

It may not seem like a big deal to many of you but that is (no pun intended) HUGE for me! I have never, even when I was a kid, been able to do a real, honest-to-goodness push-up (defined as using just your arms with spine straight and not your belly to push you up). Well, I did one and I have to say it absolutely helped fuel the rest of my workout. It helped me not overeat yesterday. It is helping to get my mind right. I feel like freaking Superman today because of that one push-up. Why? Because one will eventually lead to two, then to three, etc.

That’s why it is so bloody important none of us give up. I know I’ve been down in the dumps lately but, as I am always fond of saying, it is only temporary. I know it is. I just need to reckon with it and be able to put it away. You guys can do the same, too. Whatever funk you all are in, it is only temporary. Yesterday was Hump Day and I do think I got over that hump.

Again, it’s amazing what punching and kicking a heavy bag will do. That and the power in one single, tried-and-true push-up.

Today, I’m going to concentrate on the things that will make me productive and positive and move me in the best ways I know how. That also means not getting the Chick-Fil-A peach shake I so desperately want (those things are damned good). It means drinking that water and working out later, too. It means heading to the gym and doing some shadowboxing of my own to work up that sweat to keep seeing those results. It means getting my mind right.

Come to think of it, I now know why my mom, JoAnn, used to ball up socks and throw them at me and me at her when I was a kid. It was our way of working out frustrations in a fun yet exhausting way. It was wonderful and she made a game out of it. And it always made us laugh. Wow. I get it now. As I sit and write this tears are coming to my eyes because another piece of the puzzle has been placed. Amazing! It took me all this time to realize it was fun, positive release.  It was simple. It was wonderful. It was so us. Thank you, Mama.

See. This is what I mean by getting your mind right. It may not ever be readily apparent but simple exertions like punching and kicking a bag can trigger something, something special, that knocks things back into alignment – like the WHY of me and mom throwing socks at each other. It’s so cool. Cooler than words can say and better than any word can ever express.

Sometimes it’s really hard to get over the hump.

Today is Wednesday (Hump Day) and I can’t tell you how hard it was to just get out of bed today. You know what those days feel like, where you almost have to trick yourself into thinking the rest of the world is better than the safe and warm cocoon of sheets, comforters, pillows and blankets. And even though I am up now (grrrrrr) and writing (fueled by a fairly decent cup of hot coffee), I still am shaking myself awake trying to jump-start my brain into joing the rest of me in the world of the awake and moving especially before my martial arts training this afternoon.

You all know I’ve been at a standstill with my weight lately. I seem to hover right around that 237 mark, which is O.K. but not as good as I want it to be. I so want to be back at 225. This is my hump and I am trying to get over it. I have been eating alright (grilled meats instead of fried, a Coke Zero instead of a full-on Coca-Cola) but just alright, meaning I am here at the hump, kind of like the yoga push-ups my sensei Doug Shaffer has be do. They are slightly different because of where you place your arms and chin, and they are hard as hell. However, when we do them in class I inch closer and closer to being able to do one without it being my fat man’s push-up – the kind where the belly sags and the back isn’t straight when you lift off the ground.

One of these days I’m gonna do a solid push-up. One of these days I’m gonna get over that hump. One of these days…

Now I am going to admit something. I admit that sometimes I do eat too much of a good/better thing, and too much of a good thing can be bad. I have been on something of an emotional eating kick lately, too. It’s also not easy to say this but I am still really freaking disappointed by not advancing in the Oprah thing. That would have been one hell of an opportunity and for reasons both karmic and Hollywood, I’m sure, they decided not to use me.  That hurt a lot and I am at a mental hump of  HOW to keep moving forward and to WHAT?! (grrrrr, and he takes another sip of hot yummy coffee). So I have been turning to comfort foods, well new and healthier ones, as a way to ease that bruised ego of mine. Believe me when I tell you I am mad at myself for doing that (both still being upset and for overeating) so one way I know over my hump is to stop doing that and will myself into knowing that I don’t need as much food (that the rest of the world is better than the safe harbor of food no matter how healthy it is). Another way is to beat the shit out of that bag when I hit the class these afternoons. I may go to martial arts class but I need to step it up a bit when I am not in class. Muscle definition is coming but it ain’t here yet. And even when it is I can’t rest. I have to keep going.

There are humps in our lives, and whether you take them as mountains to climb or stumbling blocks littering the smooth paths we walk, we have them. They are unavoidable, it’s just how we deal with them that’s the true test of our mettle. It doesn’t matter whether or not it’s weight loss. In my case it is both. I want to keep succeeding in weight loss and maintenance and I know what I need to do to do that…to get over that hump and get back to my goal. I don’t know, however, to get over the hump of career choices and paths. I once thought I’d be doing well with that Oprah thing and now – poof. I just need to breathe and keep on keeping on, I guess.

Hump day means so many things for so many different people. For some it is literally what it was intended to describe – the point in the week where what we earn monetarily is now for us and not for taxes. For others, it’s the figurative working for ourselves and the process of getting to our goals. But no matter how you slice it time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’ into the future. Our hairs get greyer, our joints get creakier (and believe me, when I heard my hip pop last week it was freaky). But no matter what, we have to get over these humps. We should get over these humps.We can get over these humps.

No matter the hump, the battle to overcome it begins with the mind. As for me, it’s about getting my mind around the whats and hows and whens. Once I do that I’m good…

…with the help of a nice hot crunchy cup of coffee, that is.