Determined To Succeed

Day ninety-two.

Happy Monday, everyone. Well, I barely – BARELY – survived the weekend. It wasn’t horrible but it wasn’t great either. First, I ended up eating waaaaaaaaay too much on Friday night for dinner. I did aright for breakfast and lunch. Following my egg and sausage half-sandwich for breakfast I had a bagel for lunch (since I knew I was working out on Friday afternoon with Sensei Doug). But for dinner, fuck! I ate like a pig. It was taco night and there should be a law about how good jalepenos, onions, salsa, cheese and taco meat taste on a tortilla. Yum!

Saturday,  I was honored enough to be a part of the first-annual walk for pancreatic cancer in Fairmount Park, Philadelphia, in honor of my mom, JoAnn. It was heartwarming to be surrounded by so many people who could understand that bitch disease while, at the same time, being there in positive support of all our loved ones, friends and family afflicted. It was a wonderful three-mile walk and one I will do every year, as I can, to remember the best lady in the whole world.

I love you, Mama. So much.

For lunch, I ate a wonderfully-prepared omelette (if I do say so myself) and some bacon and toast while for dinner I polished off the remainder of the taco stuff. Yesterday, for breakfast had some Pillsbury cinnamon rolls (the small ones, not Cinnabon size) and coffee while having a selection of finger foods (cheese, hummus, bread, chicken) at a great wine tasting. That ended up being my dinner (in addition to the few bite-size Snickers I had watching a Netflix flick) which was O.K.

What does all that mean? It means that, overall, while it wasn’t horrible it wasn’t great BUT I did end up weighing the same today as I did on Friday and that is a Godsend! I am still at 239.9 and am soooooo looking forward to working out today. This week also will be interesting because I will not be visiting Doug for my mixed martial arts sessions so I will have to maintain my workouts  on my own, no obligatory classes to make. But I will do it. As I told him I have my “homework” and I will do it.

So I start this week feeling pretty good. I am firmly ensconsed in eating at home and drinking Coke Zero (instead of regular Coca-Cola). I am going to workout four or five times this week to keep that up. All is good. Could this weekend have been better, of course. I could have exercised AND eaten better. However, life is to be enjoyed and I enjoyed a bit of life this weekend. If that means having two small pretzels with mustard on Saturday night (which I did), or having delicious pepper jack cheese cubes, hummus and bread with wine, so be it. I am living life and I will not ever, ever again, whether it be in my weight or any other way, take life for granted. It is short and precious and should be fully, fully appreciated.

On Saturday I felt my mom with me as I walked through that park with all those people. It wasn’t sad. It was the feeling you get when walking with your parents when you’re a kid. It was safe and warm and happy. And as long as I keep up with my better eating and exercising I will be able to have that feeling for decades to come.