Determined To Succeed

Whenever I feel rundown, tired, overly anxious, nervous, distressed, worried or upset I know it’s time for me to just stop and go to sleep. That’s when I can end my day, no matter what’s going on, put my head down and recharge my batteries at least enough to tackle whatever situation comes up in life. Yes, sleep is a beautiful thing and yesterday, particularly in the afternoon, was no exception.

On Thursday, as I was driving my Honda Pilot back to southern New Jersey from New York (and that stupid, stupid $115 parking ticket) when the “maintenance required” light came on in my car. Nervous, I immediately called Honda and asked if the light came on in response to me reaching 105,000 miles. The guy on the phone said “yes, probably,” at which point I asked how much a service would be. He quoted me a price of about $250 and I went ahead and scheduled the service for Friday (yesterday). Only when I get to the service bay I find out that it’s not going to be $250, but more like $1,500 as the 105,000 mile service is the most comprehensive. Talk about bait-and-switch “shock.” And the “awe” part comes in when (and I knew this was coming) they told be I was told I had to replace my brakes, both front and rear, too, to the tune of another $500. Yep, a $2,000 trip to the car doctor added onto the $115 ticket I received and I felt miserable, rundown, overly anxious, distressed, worried and upset.

My first reaction was anger. “Why the f$#k would a person on the phone quote me such a low amount if they all supposedly knew there are “different levels” of the most comprehensive (read expensive) service they can do?” My second reaction was depression. “I can’t really afford this right now. But I need my car to be dependable,” and they totally have you over a barrel because you’re afraid if you don’t get it done your car will all but fall apart on you and you won’t be safe.

My third and final reaction? “Where’s the junk food?”

Yes, I am an emotional eater and always have been. Yesterday knocked me for a loop, came out of left field and whatever other cliché you want to use for I had the wind taken out of my sales with such a hefty price tag. All that made me want to do is drown my sorrows – and being a food-a-holic that’s exactly what I did. Earlier in the day I succumbed to the temptation and had two doughnuts, but it was all downhill from there. In the afternoon I had a pint of strawberry ice-cream. Yes, a whole pint. And for dinner I had loaded potato salad, a couple of kielbasa and, yes, a tall, delicious ice-cold Coca-Cola.

Damn. I wish I hadn’t done all that. I knew it was bad but I soooooo needed comfort food. I am human after all and yesterday sucked. Not as bad as a fraction of what’s going on in the world but it sucked in my world. After I’d eaten I knew it was time for sleep, when the mind, body and spirit just start shutting down as if light switches are one-by-one turned off in an office building or arena. I needed sleep. I couldn’t fight anymore. I was done.

But today is a new day and I have gotten my sleep. Sleep enough to let Honda know how displeased I am with the punch in the gut I got over the price. Sleep enough to get my ass to the gym to work off the silly, stupid and indulgent food binge I went on yesterday (yes, I gained back a pound and two ounces). Most of all, I got sleep enough to know it will all be OK, and that I will not let a kick in the chins derail my weight loss goal or my eating habits over the weekend (which, by the way, I’m not nervous about this weekend). I know I have to watch what I eat this weekend. I know I have to exercise. I was doing well and I will keep doing well especially being this/close to the “battle of the final ten.”

That is what sleep does, after all. It gives us energy to start a new day with the glass half-full instead of half-empty. Sleep is, indeed, a beautiful thing.