Determined To Succeed

What would you do if you found some money? Does it make a difference how much money? Would you try to find its owner whether it was five bucks, or a hundred or a thousand? Would you return cash that fell off the back of an armored car? Chew on that for a bit while I tell you about the flick I saw yesterday, “Armored.”

The more and more you read my reviews the more you will see I’m an action movie junkie. Don’t get me wrong. I love dramas, comedies, art films, rom coms, everything. But give me something with guns blazing, high speed chases and explosions and I’m so there.

When I saw the trailer for “Armored” I was hooked not just for those reasons but it’s really good cast. Laurence Fishburne (The Matrix), Jean Reno (The Professional), Milo Ventimiglia (Heroes)…yeah. Ticket, please…

But what started out as a promising story – a down-on-his-luck/money/family rookie guard for an armored truck company is coerced by his veteran coworkers to steal a truck containing $42 million. But a wrinkle in their supposedly foolproof plan divides the group, leading to deadly consequences – soon turned into a textbook example of how sloppy writing and some bad direction can ruin the last five minutes of a film.

Was I completely displeased with “Armored,” No. There are far worse movies I’ve seen this year. But, without giving too much away, the last scene of the film should have played out differently to stay true to the characters involved. It is in these characters’ interactions and lines that I lost the ability to say I really recommend this flick. The end should have played out differently. It should have. It should have been directed better. The actors should have known their characters enough to know it should have ended on a more emotional note. But no. It didn’t, so the film absolutely deflates for me.

All told, if you see this you could do worse. But you can certainly do better with other heist flicks. One that comes to mind is called “Heist” with Gene Hackman and Delroy Lindo. Another is “The Spanish Prisoner” with Steve Martin. Hell, even the original “Ocean’s 11” with Frank Sinatra has such a killer twist ending it will leave you speechless.

So did you think about what you’d do with “found” money? During this holiday season, if you do find money, unless you ABSOLUTELY need it for gas, food or a friend hard on their luck, donate it to charity and spread the joys we can sometimes take for granted. There is always someone worse off who could use a smile and $20 to get them from one day to the next.

And don’t rush out to see “Armored.” I just don’t want you to feel ripped off. As poorly as it did at the box office on its opening weekend you may not have long to pay to see it anyway.

Matt Dillon … Mike Cochrone

Jean Reno … Quinn

Laurence Fishburne… Baines

Amaury Nolasco… Palmer

Fred Ward … Duncan Ashcroft

Milo Ventimiglia… Eckehart

Skeet Ulrich … Dobbs

Columbus Short… Ty Hackett

Andre Kinney … Jimmy Hackett (as Andre Jamal Kinney)

Andrew Fiscella… Dispatcher #1

Nick Jameson … Homeless Man

Glenn Taranto … Joe the Cook

Lorna Raver … Child Welfare Agent

Garry Guerrier … Federal Guard

Robert Harvey … Bank Guard

Runtime: 88 min
MPAA: Rated PG-13 for sequences of intense violence, some disturbing images and brief strong language

Folks. Gather ‘round the computer screen. Don’t be afraid. I won’t bite (wink). What I’m about to say I don’t want to say too loudly. I’ll wait for you. Grab a drink, some healthy munchies. Ok, are you ready? I’m going to whisper. Here it comes.

I kind of liked “Twilight Saga: New Moon.”

I am in no way, shape or form a “Twilighter” or moonie or whatever the hell the fans of the books and/or movies call themselves. But I was finding myself actually liking more of “New Moon” than I thought I would.

Better to review them with, my dear.

After Bella recovers from the vampire attack that almost claimed her life in the first book/movie, she looks to celebrate her birthday with Edward and his family. However, a minor accident during the festivities results in Bella’s blood being shed, a sight that proves too intense for the Cullens, who decide to leave the town of Forks, Washington for Bella and Edward’s sake. Initially heartbroken, Bella finds a form of comfort in reckless living, as well as an even-closer friendship with Jacob Black.

I haven’t read the books (oh darn) so I am keeping myself “pure” by just seeing the films. I will go on record as saying that the first “Twilight” movie was silly dreck. I laughed out loud at some of the scenes in “Twilight” because the looks given by characters, bad acting and dialogue and cheesiness overcame the story and after a while I just didn’t care. In “New Moon” there is still some of each, particularly from the wooden Robert Pattinson as Edward. But what you can sink your teeth into (OK, I couldn’t resist) is the love triangle that happens when heroin-chic Edward flies the coop and leave his beautiful Swan in the paws of burgeoning werewolf Jacob (Taylor Lautner). Take away the vampire/werewolf plot and you actually have a decent love/unrequited love story reasonably well-acted that you can care about.

As Jacob, Lautner is good and I felt for his character hopelessly drawn to Bella, allowing himself to be used by her as a way to “get over” Edward. You just want him to stand up and say “Are you nuts? Stop using me and let me go!” And for me to want him to say that means I was sucked into (pun intended) the story.

Of course, Edward comes back…blah, blah and we see him trying (operative word TRYING) to be all swoony/lovey but his slow-motion walks and brooding, drugged-out looks end up being more comical than romantic. And as Bella, Kristen Stweart is decent at playing the girl who the boys fawn over although I see no reason why they do. She’s an indecisive user who at 18 thinks she knows what she wants not just for the rest of her life but all eternity.

But don’t all self-entitled teenagers these days.

Let’s just say this. With a soundtrack that’s pretty cool and a half-way decent love triangle “New Moon,” while nothing to really howl for isn’t a half-bad way to spend a rainy day at the movies.

Kristen Stewart … Bella Swan

Christina Jastrzembska … Gran / Bella

Robert Pattinson … Edward Cullen

Billy Burke … Charlie Swan

Anna Kendrick … Jessica

Michael Welch … Mike

Justin Chon … Eric

Christian Serratos … Angela

Taylor Lautner … Jacob Black

Ashley Greene … Alice Cullen

Jackson Rathbone … Jasper Hale

Russell Roberts … Mr. Berty

Cam Gigandet … James

Michael Sheen … Aro

Jamie Campbell Bower … Caius

Rated PG-13 for some violence and action.

Runtime: 130 min

From time to time you need to cleanse the movie-going palate. Any steady diet of romantic comedies or dramas needs to have that balanced with something else or life in a movie theater can get pretty boring pretty quick.

“Ninja Assassin” is just that palate cleanser.

This is a movie that absolutely makes no apologies for the blatant rip-offs it employs or for the copious amount of gratuitous violence and blood it spills forth (OK, that was cheap, I know). But I totally respect a movie that simply is what it is – a fun, wild, ninja-action thrill ride that is both fun and entertaining.

I won’t spend too much time going into the plot. What’s the point? A young ninja turns his back on the “orphanage” (a.k.a. ninja training academy) that raised him, leading to a confrontation with fellow ninjas from the school while helping detectives figure out worldwide assassinations seemingly carried out by – you guessed it – ninjas.

Does this sound absolutely ridiculous? Yes. Are the plot situations themselves merely set-ups for action scene after action scene. Yes.

Is this movie fun? Hell yes.

I counted four movies, four, that “Ninja Assassin” blatantly rips off. The first (best, and what should be only) “Highlander,” “The Terminator,” “Kill Bill” and “The Matrix.” In fact, some shots are so close they should be shown in film school to prove there really aren’t any original ideas running around Hollywood anymore. But I dig each of those movies and when they’re mashed-up like they are here it was totally worth the dough I shelled out to see it.

I liked this movie so much I hope there’s a sequel. I’m not giving anything away by saying that especially in a cinematic world where you can kill off the lead bad guy (i.e. “Saw’s” Jigsaw) in part three and still be using him in part six.

The acting in some scenes is, frankly, mediocre. The subplot about the political assassinations is almost unnecessary. What holds this film together is its central revenge story and the lead character played by international action star Rain.  His performance is so subtle but yet so explosive that I want to see his character more either in sequels or have him pop up in other flicks. You see what makes him fight and understand why he chooses not to unless provoked.

But please don’t provoke this guy. His nice guy doesn’t EVER finish last

Oh, by the way. I TOTALLY want to introduce his character to “Kill Bill’s” The Bride. Those two with their blade-swinging choreography, charm and body counts would make for a great action movie duo. The Astaire-Rodgers of the new-world matinee.

PS: For God’s sake, please do not take children to see it. I know kids these days seem a lot more desensitized to violence and “it’s OK.” But this film really is for adults. Let the kids see “Twilight: New Moon” or something else instead. It’ll be worth the wait until they’re 18.

Sung Kang…Hollywood

Randall Duk Kim…Tattoo Master

Jonathan Chan-Pensley…Yakuza Henchman

Yuki Iwamoto…Yakuza Couch

Ill-Young Kim  …Yakuza Mohawk

Ben Miles…Maslow

Naomie Harris  …Mika

Rain…Raizo

Stephen Marcus…Kingpin

Linh Dan Pham…Pretty Ninja

Yu Fang… Laundromat Manager

Adriana Altaras…Landlady

Shô Kosugi…Ozunu

Kylie Goldstein…Young Kiriko (as Kylie Liya Goldstein)

Yoon Sungwoong         …         Young Raizo

Total Running Time: 99 min

Rated R for strong bloody stylized violence throughout, and language.

It’s the End of the World As We Know It – a review of “2012″ – by Bill Ivory Larson

3.5 Buckets of Popcorn out of 4

I am such a sucker for disaster flicks. Bring on a trailer for films that feature plagues of locusts and angels fighting for humanity (the upcoming LEGION), asteroids hitting the earth (ARMAGEDDON and DEEP IMPACT), aliens invading (INDEPENDENCE DAY) or the world ending (I AM LEGEND and THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW) and I am so there.

And while I have been so let down in the past (the recent remake of POSEIDON was such a bad flick I want the two hours of my life back) the new end-of-days pic “2012″ didn’t let me down.

Put another way – the world blowed up real good!

Disaster movie maven Roland Emmerich (Independence Day, The Day After Tomorrow) crafts this apocalyptic sci-fi thriller following the prophecy stated by the ancient Mayan calendar, which says that the world will come to an end on December 21, 2012. When a global cataclysm thrusts the world into chaos, divorced writer and father Jackson Curtis (John Cusack) joins the race to ensure that humankind is not completely wiped out. Chiwetel Ejiofor, Danny Glover, Amanda Peet, Thandie Newton, and Oliver Platt round out the cast of this end-of-the-world thriller co-scripted by the director and his 10,000 B.C. writer/composer, Harald Kloser.

Don’t get me wrong, there are things wrong with this picture (i.e characters who die unnecessarily, some you don’t care about at all, a couple too many near escapes, etc.) but this film has two things going for it that make it worth your time and discussion afterward:

1) It’s running time of over two-and-a-half hours allows the film to take its time and take you from one situation to another without too many leaps of logic or faith. As special effects films go, the way the characters and situations unfold is more real because the filmmakers simply took their time to set them up properly.

2) Oliver Platt’s character raises interesting questions about who lives and who dies and why. Questions that I had after the film and questions on the lips of all who saw it in the same auditorium with me. Would only those with money survive? Should there be a lottery of all world citizens to see who lives or not? The film doesn’t make his character truly evil. Instead, he is the person making the hardest decisions of all and doesn’t apologize for them. And I have to say his is the character that makes you feel uncomfortable but gives you food for thought.

Definitely see this latest Roland Emerich end-of-the-world film on the big screen. It’s worth it just for the effects. And if the world does come to an end on December 21, 2012 (folks, it’s just the end of ONE Mayan calendar. They had many) I want a seat as good for that as I did for this.

Roland Emerich, meet Irwin Allen. Irwin, meet your heir apparent.

John Cusack     …         Jackson Curtis

Amanda Peet    …         Kate Curtis

Chiwetel Ejiofor            …         Adrian Helmsley

Thandie Newton           …         Laura Wilson

Oliver Platt       …         Carl Anheuser

Thomas McCarthy        …         Gordon Silberman (as Tom McCarthy)

Woody Harrelson         …         Charlie Frost

Danny Glover   …         President Thomas Wilson

Liam James      …         Noah Curtis

Morgan Lily      …         Lilly Curtis

Zlatko Buric     …         Yuri Karpov

Beatrice Rosen …         Tamara

lexandre Haussmann     …         Alec

Philippe Haussmann      …         Oleg

Johann Urb       …         Sasha

MPAA: Rated PG-13 for intense disaster sequences and some language.

Runtime: 158 min