Determined To Succeed

So Mark McGuire admits to using steroids.

There’s a big shocker.

Since the great home run race of 1998 when he went bat-to-bat with Sammy Sosa of my beloved Chicago Cubs for the “Home Run King of Baseball” crown, his body has deflated like a balloon left behind the sofa for days after the party. I mean he literally deflated. Friends of mine and I used to joke about it. Hell, at least Jose Canseco can now say “see, I told you so” when all he did was tell the truth.

Which is why, my friends, I have an admission of my own to make. As the paparazzi surround me I want to say that last night I snacked my ass off. I don’t know why I did it I just did. I had slices of processed cheese (which might even contain steroids, who knows), my spicy black bean salsa and baked chips (at least they were baked), a couple of 60-calorie Jello pudding snacks (the dark chocolate ones are amazing) and, last but not least my kryptonite – an ice-cold Coca-Cola.

Why did I snack like that? I have no freaking idea. I was sitting on my couch watching my DVR’d episode of NBC’s “Chuck” and I just wanted to – scratch that, had to – snack. And in the end what did it get me? Not much I can tell you that. I just felt blah.

Did I get up this morning to work out on the elliptical? Yes.  Am I the same weight I was yesterday? Yes, but that’s bad. If I had eaten better I might not be. And I need to eat better. I should eat better. Grrrrrr.

I am just mad at myself for snacking so much. It can be such an automatic thing sometimes. We get into a good TV show or movie and we, like automatons, shovel things into our mouths. Almost like robots refueling or something. I have to be smarter than that especially since I have to be and look my best for an interview I’m doing next week for the Philadelphia ABC affiliate, WPVI-TV.

Sigh. I know I’ve said two things since starting this whole thing: I will always share with you the good and the bad along my weight loss journey and I will eat what I want. I know one night of snacking won’t derail me. I am just frustrated with myself. And that’s a great sign. It does prove I (and we) can change the way we think of and perceive “innocent” snack binges as we shift into a new paradigm of life.

Snacks are treats, not dinner. And I will double my efforts to stay strong at the event I’m attending tonight…at a bar…with delicious bar foods.  I just have to remember that eating better, and healthier is far more delicious than any basket of fries, tray of ultimate nachos or stupid slices of processed cheese could ever be.