Determined To Succeed

Sometimes it’s really hard to get over the hump.

Today is Wednesday (Hump Day) and I can’t tell you how hard it was to just get out of bed today. You know what those days feel like, where you almost have to trick yourself into thinking the rest of the world is better than the safe and warm cocoon of sheets, comforters, pillows and blankets. And even though I am up now (grrrrrr) and writing (fueled by a fairly decent cup of hot coffee), I still am shaking myself awake trying to jump-start my brain into joing the rest of me in the world of the awake and moving especially before my martial arts training this afternoon.

You all know I’ve been at a standstill with my weight lately. I seem to hover right around that 237 mark, which is O.K. but not as good as I want it to be. I so want to be back at 225. This is my hump and I am trying to get over it. I have been eating alright (grilled meats instead of fried, a Coke Zero instead of a full-on Coca-Cola) but just alright, meaning I am here at the hump, kind of like the yoga push-ups my sensei Doug Shaffer has be do. They are slightly different because of where you place your arms and chin, and they are hard as hell. However, when we do them in class I inch closer and closer to being able to do one without it being my fat man’s push-up – the kind where the belly sags and the back isn’t straight when you lift off the ground.

One of these days I’m gonna do a solid push-up. One of these days I’m gonna get over that hump. One of these days…

Now I am going to admit something. I admit that sometimes I do eat too much of a good/better thing, and too much of a good thing can be bad. I have been on something of an emotional eating kick lately, too. It’s also not easy to say this but I am still really freaking disappointed by not advancing in the Oprah thing. That would have been one hell of an opportunity and for reasons both karmic and Hollywood, I’m sure, they decided not to use me.  That hurt a lot and I am at a mental hump of  HOW to keep moving forward and to WHAT?! (grrrrr, and he takes another sip of hot yummy coffee). So I have been turning to comfort foods, well new and healthier ones, as a way to ease that bruised ego of mine. Believe me when I tell you I am mad at myself for doing that (both still being upset and for overeating) so one way I know over my hump is to stop doing that and will myself into knowing that I don’t need as much food (that the rest of the world is better than the safe harbor of food no matter how healthy it is). Another way is to beat the shit out of that bag when I hit the class these afternoons. I may go to martial arts class but I need to step it up a bit when I am not in class. Muscle definition is coming but it ain’t here yet. And even when it is I can’t rest. I have to keep going.

There are humps in our lives, and whether you take them as mountains to climb or stumbling blocks littering the smooth paths we walk, we have them. They are unavoidable, it’s just how we deal with them that’s the true test of our mettle. It doesn’t matter whether or not it’s weight loss. In my case it is both. I want to keep succeeding in weight loss and maintenance and I know what I need to do to do that…to get over that hump and get back to my goal. I don’t know, however, to get over the hump of career choices and paths. I once thought I’d be doing well with that Oprah thing and now – poof. I just need to breathe and keep on keeping on, I guess.

Hump day means so many things for so many different people. For some it is literally what it was intended to describe – the point in the week where what we earn monetarily is now for us and not for taxes. For others, it’s the figurative working for ourselves and the process of getting to our goals. But no matter how you slice it time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’ into the future. Our hairs get greyer, our joints get creakier (and believe me, when I heard my hip pop last week it was freaky). But no matter what, we have to get over these humps. We should get over these humps.We can get over these humps.

No matter the hump, the battle to overcome it begins with the mind. As for me, it’s about getting my mind around the whats and hows and whens. Once I do that I’m good…

…with the help of a nice hot crunchy cup of coffee, that is.