Determined To Succeed

Day forty.

Well, my friends, it’s the end of another week and, as usual, I am out of creative juice. I am done, fini, toast…ready to start a weekend of working out, writing and catching up on life a bit. You know, laundry, grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning, laundry…oh, and did I mention laundry? I have to be sure I remember that one. But all of that is truly O.K. and I will tell you why…

Do any of you out there wear glasses or contact lenses? With few exceptions it seems everyone I know wears some form of occular support. I have always been a glasses man, myself. The thought of putting something in my eye that could get scratched, torn or lost has always seemed too much for me. My aversion to things in my eye happened way back when when my father, before he left, said he had a bad eye infection because something got in it. When my mom told him she wanted to see it he removed his sunglasses to reveal a huge ball under his eye (I can’t remember which eye right now) that all but shut it. She was furious at him for not taking care of it and I was scared – and scarred for life. Ever since then I’ve always sought out the most groovy pair of glasses I could find because surgery or contacts were not an option.

I bring all this up because I love my glasses, for they are more than glasses. They are bi-focals. Best. Glasses. Ever. I know you think I’m off my rocker but I love my bi-focals and am not embarrased in the least to share with the world the fact that I need them. I am so into them that I always make the joke about seeing above the line is like regular analog TV and below the line is like switching over to an HDTV. Regular, HD, Regular, HD. Hell, my glasses are even a toy for me sometimes.

Since finally coming to grips with the addictions in my life, which do include food, it’s like I now see the world constantly through the HD portion of my glasses. Everything is clearer and in much-sharper focus. I am seeing things in far more vivid color and things I failed to see before, especially about myself, are now clear as a bell.  I wish I could truly convey what that feeling is like. Just think about watching a regular TV and then an HD one and you get the gist.

I have also come to know a healthier way of eating these days, too. Cooking more, eating out less (which, can I tell you saves a shitload of money) and exercising has helped me get a handle on the weight loss portion of my life these days – much like it did before when I had far more weight to lose. It’s just the fine-tuning of the last damned 15 or so pounds that gets ya’. But I will get that weight off, especially now that I know what my triggers are and I can see them clearly.

It’s funny when you get a song in your head that won’t go away. Right at this minute I have the Johnny Nash song “I Can See Clearly Now” in my head:

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.

I think I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I’ve been prayin’ for
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.

Look all around, there’s nothin’ but blue skies
Look straight ahead, nothin’ but blue skies

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.

That is exactly how I feel right now. My dark clouds are gone. I am no longer blind. I can see clearly now and that is a beautiful feeling especially as we start the weekend. I may have to use my handy and trusty bi-focals but I wouldn’t trade them, or my newly-found ability to see things, for all the tea in China because there are nothing but blue skies all around and it truly is a sun-shiny day. That is why things like laundry, cleaning and the seemingly other dull moments in life are the ones truly worth living for.

Have a great weekend, my friends. Be well and be healthy. I’ll catch up with you again on Monday. Oh, and don’t forget to remind me to tell you if I survived my craving for Twinkies.