Determined To Succeed

When I was growing up I was one of my class’ fat kids. I was also taller than most kids so I stood out more and kids can be utterly merciless when it comes to picking on someone NOT their own size. I remember being called “tubby,” “Buffalo Bill,” “fatso…” you name it. I was also physically bullied as a kid. This one kid, Frank, and his prick friend (I don’t remember his name but I’m sure he’ll burn in Hell) cornered me one day in the winter after school, grabbed me, threw me down, took my school supplies and chucked them over the school yard fence. Luckily they were in my nifty Aquaman case or I would have been playing 52-pencil, pen and crayon pick-up all afternoon. Then there was Eddie, who picked on me as I stood my post as a school crossing guard. He bullied me until I faked having a disease and being really hurt by him punching me. Then he got too scared and backed off. There was this other kid whose name I can’t remember. Andrew, I think, or Andre -whatever. Anyhow, it was lunchtime and he tried grabbing me from behind and shoving his chicken bone down my throat. Luckily I had the sense to fight and simply keep my mouth closed because I don’t even think that bastard realized I could have choked to death (coincidentally, he will join the afore-mentioned  prick friend of Frank in Hell).

Yes, as sure as the sun rises each day in the east, kids who don’t look or act like other kids we are singled out for ridicule, especially when overweight. Dr. Julie Lumeng, an assistant research scientist at the Center for Human Growth and Development at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, has authored a study whose data were just released online May 3 (and will be published in the  June issue of Pediatrics) that suggests just being overweight increases the risk of being bullied by 63 percent. And factors that usually play a role in the risk of being bullied, such as gender, race and family income, don’t seem to matter if you’re overweight — being overweight or obese trumps all those other factors when it comes to aggressive behavior from other children (no shit).

She added that researchers also hoped they might be able to find some protective factors against a bully, such as doing well in school. “What we found, much to our dismay, was that nothing seemed to matter. If you were obese, you were more likely to be bullied, no matter what,” she said (again, I say, no shit. Hell, you get picked on for being smart, too. Like having the double-whammy of being a tubby and being a “poindexter”).

And this isn’t new news. In May 2004, Ian Janssen, an obesity researcher at Queens University in Kingston, Ontario, released data that showed overweight adolescents are more likely than normal-weight children to be victims and perpetrators of bullying, bolstering evidence that being fat endangers emotional as well as physical health. The results in a study of 5,749 Canadian youngsters echoed data from British research and followed a U.S. study published in 2003 in which obese children rated their quality of life as low as young cancer patients’ because of teasing and weight-related health problems.

You’ve heard me talk about the perfect storm of factors that led to me being an obese child – not enough money to afford better, healthier foods, not learning proper portion control and lack of exercise. But I’ve neglected to correlate how being picked on can start that comfort food cycle at such a young age and how it carries into and through adulthood. Yes, adults can be and are victims of bullying, too, in the work place, at home, or even in the neighborhood bar.

People who are on a weight loss journey know they have weight to lose. It doesn’t matter whether it’s five pounds or fifty, we know we have a journey ahead of us. And it’s F&$#@*G hard enough getting that weight off and keeping it off without the words or actions of people bullying us or putting us down. Because when we’re sad we are prone to revert to actions we don’t want or need, like eating and over-eating or giving up and not exercising.

There is nothing wrong, though, with standing up and saying “piss off” to a bully and it feels damn good standing up and saying “I am bettering myself by losing weight.” I don’t know what the ultimate answer is to solving the bully problem. It’s been around forever and will be for decades to come. But as our kids become more and more obese and until such time we can reverse this almost epidemic trend the need for a watchful eye and swift action becomes necessary, both in school and home, if for no other reason than to help save a child’s self-image, self-esteem and overall emotional health.

People always pick on the easiest thing to pick on – someone’s physical attributes. However, I wish people would realize how early that vicious circle actually starts and, moreover, how words and actions really hurt people…and their battles to lose weight.