Determined To Succeed

Ah. I am back and have survived another excursion to the Big Apple. I swear to God that city was, is and always will be the biggest, busiest and bad-ass-iest city EVER! And I don’t mean in just the sheer magnitude of its energy or the “enthusiasm” of its inhabitants (more on them later). No, I mean in the way it tempts with food, constantly and unapologetically.

I know I might be a bonehead for doing this but I like driving there from South Jersey. Sure it might be easier to take the train but I like being in my own little bubble both before I have to brave the big city and after, to help me wind down from it. It’s my “safe zone,” if you will, and on my way in I kept repeating to myself “I will not eat badly. I will not eat at the Halal cart. I will not eat a tremendous amount.” “Safe zone” bubbles are good for that kind of meditation, especially when you can meditate by yourself and not with hundreds of your best friends packed against you on a train that may or may not have the best odors.

I had five destinations to hit this time around and I knew I would be doing a fair amount of walking (something I was totally looking forward to doing as my exercise for the day), so I parked one block away from Destination One and, thus, began my day.

I swear, walking in New York City is an Olympic sport. Two reasons: one, most blocks in the city represent just a fraction of the addresses that other city streets do (i.e. a block in Chicago typically will jump from 100 to 200. In New York City, you can have one monster block have numbers 100 to 140, another block have 140 to 180 and a third that goes 180 – 200). Two, it’s a “kill or be killed” bloodsport walking there. You can get easily runover or rundown if you don’t match the “exuberant” pace of others, even if you go with the flow of foot traffic. That’s what makes walking in New York such great exercise – it’s lead, follow or get the hell out of the way. And if you don’t like it you can suck it.

This is exactly the reason I decided against a suit this time around and donned jeans, t-shirt, blazer (although that got ditched because it was so freaking hot) and my trusty Chuck Taylor Converse All-Stars. A trendy look, to be sure, but a practical one for hitting the streets hard.

After Destination One I knew I was in for it, as going from Destinations Two, Three and Four had me, literally, walking about five or so miles. From 57th and 5th to roughly 36th and 6th or 7th and back again. I don’t remember how many blocks it was (remember, blocks don’t have the same meaning they do in other towns) but it was a lot. And damn, it was hot. I knew I had to walk with purpose, too, and that made it even hotter. It was almost as if stopping for a red light was me taking a nap, then instantly waking up to run again. So when I tell you I downed a bottle of water in just a few gulps I am not exagerating. I did. I did, I tell you.

But then the inevitable happened. I was hungry. I knew I would have to stop somewhere to eat. But where? Remember when I said New York City was unapologetic in its food offerings? Well, it’s the only city I know of that has food carts on practically every corner, and those are positioned in front of other restaurants, some of whom sell the same types of Mediteranian food. Amazing and overwhelming at the same time. There are American restaurants, the best Jewish delis, fusions restaurants and Halal carts everywhere. You can get dizzy (or have a panic attack) just trying to figure out where to eat. But I knew I wanted to eat cheap AND satisfy my craving for the taste of the Halal. So I compromised and had a grilled chicken shish-kabob from one of the Halal carts.

Because I went to the Big Apple midday I hit everything right in terms of timing. Most of the food vendors were winding down from their “rush hours,” so I was able to walk up and order. I got no special sauce on it. I got no side of rice with it. Just the kabob, and another bigger bottle of water. As the chicken was cooking on the grill you could smell the flavoring in the steam. It was enough to whet anyone’s appetite and you bet your butt it sure did mine. I ate it on a hot dog bun. An interesting choice but a handy one since I didn’t want to impale my mouth on a pointy stick while walking like Bruce Jenner or Carl Lewis.

When I finished that and rested for a few minutes that’s when my energy began to dwindle. I knew I would be toast soon. I also knew Destination Five was too far to walk and I wanted to try (TRY!) to beat rush hour out of the City. So I got in my bubble, took care of bid-ness and set out home. Alas, I was later than I thought and I hit rush hour traffic at its worst – Broadway (a major thru-street) closed off with everyone being redirected and crammed into designated lanes to get to the tunnel.

I hate to sound cliche as I conclude but no trip to New York would be complete without either hearing or being involved in a verbal altercation of somekind. And yes, both happened to yours truly. For those who don’t know, if you “block the box” (have your car in any part of the intersection against your light making you block traffic) you are subject to fines and points on your license. Having seen, first hand, how NYC cops lie in wait to spring those traps there was no way in hell I was gonna “block the box.” But that pissed off some effing guy who offered me the most colorfully-metaphored (and enthusiastic) diatribe out his van window about how I should go back to so-and-so and quit driving so slowly, blah, blah. But that same ass-munch didn’t have to pay three (THREE!) parking tickets the last time he visited town so screw him and his freaking delivery truck. Then I heard two women, one pedestrian and one driver, go at it for the driver almost hitting the pedestrian even though the driver was in the intesection – blah, blah. It is cliche, I know, but it ads even more flavor to a city that is as wonderful as its food.

So yes, once back in my bubble (and safely back in New Jersey on the Turnpike) I breathed a sigh of relief. I survived the trip, culinarily speaking. My grilled chicken and water, and my speed-walking exercise helped me keep focused so I didn’t get tempted by the tasty rice, grilled pita bread, gyro meat, dirty water dogs (which I do like), pizzas, pastrami sandwiches and more in the City.

It is totally possible to focus and not be so consumed with food no matter how hard it is. It is hard for me, trust me. I love eating. And while it was tempting to eat, especially when one’s blood pressure is eleated (again thanks to the afore-mentioned ass-munch), it was me taking a bite out of the Big Apple and not the other way around.