Determined To Succeed

What would you do if you found some money? Does it make a difference how much money? Would you try to find its owner whether it was five bucks, or a hundred or a thousand? Would you return cash that fell off the back of an armored car? Chew on that for a bit while I tell you about the flick I saw yesterday, “Armored.”

The more and more you read my reviews the more you will see I’m an action movie junkie. Don’t get me wrong. I love dramas, comedies, art films, rom coms, everything. But give me something with guns blazing, high speed chases and explosions and I’m so there.

When I saw the trailer for “Armored” I was hooked not just for those reasons but it’s really good cast. Laurence Fishburne (The Matrix), Jean Reno (The Professional), Milo Ventimiglia (Heroes)…yeah. Ticket, please…

But what started out as a promising story – a down-on-his-luck/money/family rookie guard for an armored truck company is coerced by his veteran coworkers to steal a truck containing $42 million. But a wrinkle in their supposedly foolproof plan divides the group, leading to deadly consequences – soon turned into a textbook example of how sloppy writing and some bad direction can ruin the last five minutes of a film.

Was I completely displeased with “Armored,” No. There are far worse movies I’ve seen this year. But, without giving too much away, the last scene of the film should have played out differently to stay true to the characters involved. It is in these characters’ interactions and lines that I lost the ability to say I really recommend this flick. The end should have played out differently. It should have. It should have been directed better. The actors should have known their characters enough to know it should have ended on a more emotional note. But no. It didn’t, so the film absolutely deflates for me.

All told, if you see this you could do worse. But you can certainly do better with other heist flicks. One that comes to mind is called “Heist” with Gene Hackman and Delroy Lindo. Another is “The Spanish Prisoner” with Steve Martin. Hell, even the original “Ocean’s 11” with Frank Sinatra has such a killer twist ending it will leave you speechless.

So did you think about what you’d do with “found” money? During this holiday season, if you do find money, unless you ABSOLUTELY need it for gas, food or a friend hard on their luck, donate it to charity and spread the joys we can sometimes take for granted. There is always someone worse off who could use a smile and $20 to get them from one day to the next.

And don’t rush out to see “Armored.” I just don’t want you to feel ripped off. As poorly as it did at the box office on its opening weekend you may not have long to pay to see it anyway.

Matt Dillon … Mike Cochrone

Jean Reno … Quinn

Laurence Fishburne… Baines

Amaury Nolasco… Palmer

Fred Ward … Duncan Ashcroft

Milo Ventimiglia… Eckehart

Skeet Ulrich … Dobbs

Columbus Short… Ty Hackett

Andre Kinney … Jimmy Hackett (as Andre Jamal Kinney)

Andrew Fiscella… Dispatcher #1

Nick Jameson … Homeless Man

Glenn Taranto … Joe the Cook

Lorna Raver … Child Welfare Agent

Garry Guerrier … Federal Guard

Robert Harvey … Bank Guard

Runtime: 88 min
MPAA: Rated PG-13 for sequences of intense violence, some disturbing images and brief strong language

From time to time you need to cleanse the movie-going palate. Any steady diet of romantic comedies or dramas needs to have that balanced with something else or life in a movie theater can get pretty boring pretty quick.

“Ninja Assassin” is just that palate cleanser.

This is a movie that absolutely makes no apologies for the blatant rip-offs it employs or for the copious amount of gratuitous violence and blood it spills forth (OK, that was cheap, I know). But I totally respect a movie that simply is what it is – a fun, wild, ninja-action thrill ride that is both fun and entertaining.

I won’t spend too much time going into the plot. What’s the point? A young ninja turns his back on the “orphanage” (a.k.a. ninja training academy) that raised him, leading to a confrontation with fellow ninjas from the school while helping detectives figure out worldwide assassinations seemingly carried out by – you guessed it – ninjas.

Does this sound absolutely ridiculous? Yes. Are the plot situations themselves merely set-ups for action scene after action scene. Yes.

Is this movie fun? Hell yes.

I counted four movies, four, that “Ninja Assassin” blatantly rips off. The first (best, and what should be only) “Highlander,” “The Terminator,” “Kill Bill” and “The Matrix.” In fact, some shots are so close they should be shown in film school to prove there really aren’t any original ideas running around Hollywood anymore. But I dig each of those movies and when they’re mashed-up like they are here it was totally worth the dough I shelled out to see it.

I liked this movie so much I hope there’s a sequel. I’m not giving anything away by saying that especially in a cinematic world where you can kill off the lead bad guy (i.e. “Saw’s” Jigsaw) in part three and still be using him in part six.

The acting in some scenes is, frankly, mediocre. The subplot about the political assassinations is almost unnecessary. What holds this film together is its central revenge story and the lead character played by international action star Rain.  His performance is so subtle but yet so explosive that I want to see his character more either in sequels or have him pop up in other flicks. You see what makes him fight and understand why he chooses not to unless provoked.

But please don’t provoke this guy. His nice guy doesn’t EVER finish last

Oh, by the way. I TOTALLY want to introduce his character to “Kill Bill’s” The Bride. Those two with their blade-swinging choreography, charm and body counts would make for a great action movie duo. The Astaire-Rodgers of the new-world matinee.

PS: For God’s sake, please do not take children to see it. I know kids these days seem a lot more desensitized to violence and “it’s OK.” But this film really is for adults. Let the kids see “Twilight: New Moon” or something else instead. It’ll be worth the wait until they’re 18.

Sung Kang…Hollywood

Randall Duk Kim…Tattoo Master

Jonathan Chan-Pensley…Yakuza Henchman

Yuki Iwamoto…Yakuza Couch

Ill-Young Kim  …Yakuza Mohawk

Ben Miles…Maslow

Naomie Harris  …Mika

Rain…Raizo

Stephen Marcus…Kingpin

Linh Dan Pham…Pretty Ninja

Yu Fang… Laundromat Manager

Adriana Altaras…Landlady

Shô Kosugi…Ozunu

Kylie Goldstein…Young Kiriko (as Kylie Liya Goldstein)

Yoon Sungwoong         …         Young Raizo

Total Running Time: 99 min

Rated R for strong bloody stylized violence throughout, and language.