Determined To Succeed

I am a bit grumpy this morning. I am grumpy this morning because I am sick and tired of food – ALL FOOD – having stupid calories, and because genies in lamps don’t really exist.

I know this sounds completely insane but I always wonder in my heart and soul why everything we want to eat has to be “worked off” and “no good for us.” Why is it that Chinese food (yes, my dinner of choice last night) has to have not just calories but so much salt that it causes me to creep to another three more ounces this morning (hence part of my grumpyness).  I know it was “no good for me” and that I will “work it off,” but still. Can’t a guy have his beef chop suey after a workout and NOT have to still gain back ounces? Grrrrrrr.

And why can’t genies exist? These are so the times I wish I could find a genie in a lamp. I daydream about casually strolling the beach down in Atlantic City (after winning a few bucks at Craps, my favorite game) and stumbling across a beautiful, ornate golden lamp. I start brushing the sand off its surface when a cool-ass genie appears and says to me, “Dude. Wow. Thanks for finding me! You know how long I’ve been cooped up in coach in that thing? Where’s the baggage claim anyway? Oh, never mind. Since you found me and I have finally landed I will offer you three wishes as gratitude. The only condition is that you chuck me and the lamp back in the ocean when you’re done so that others may share your good fortune. And PS, show me where the Craps tables are, man. I’ve been itchin’ for some games of chance since that bazaar in Morocco 400 years ago.”

If only I could really have those three wishes. Besides the obvious one featuring lots of  money and one I would keep in my back pocket for another day, I think I would wish for me to never gain weight ever again from any food stuff ever in the history of the entire universe. That would include never gaining weight from any of the following yummy, delicious “no good for us” foods you have to “work off:”

• Cinnabon cinnamon rolls
• The afore-mentioned Chinese food (damn it all to hell – stupid ounces – grrrrrr)
• Hostess Cupcakes (don’t worry, I didn’t have any last night. Just thought about them, that’s all)
• Italian Beef  sandwiches
• Chicago-style hot dogs
• Cheesestea)k hoagies
• Alcohol (not that I am a beer drinker. I’m talking about my martinis and frosty, fruity island drinks you get with little umbrellas and s&^t)
• French fries (especially the big beefsteak or potato wedge kind)
• Strawberry ice-cream (again, don’t worry I didn’t have any last night
• Banana cream pie
• Chocolate cake and/or cupcakes (mmmmm, cupcakes – said like Homer Simpson drooling out the side of his mouth)
• Indian food (especially chicken tikka masala)
• Stuffed pizza (or any pizza for that matter)
• Buffalo wings
• Mashed potatoes (come to think of it the entirety of Thanksgiving dinner – including any and all leftovers)
• A plate of Southern food (fried chicken, a mess of greens and some kind of starch like grits)

Ok, Ok. I’ll stop now but you get my grumpy point this morning. Each one of us has foods we love but that are extremely bad for us. Just yesterday I was talking with people who felt bad for having a small box of Cheez-Its or a couple of cookies. But why should they feel bad? We like these foods, they just don’t like us back. Yeah, I would so use a wish and change all that.

Well, maybe I would. There is that world peace thing to consider, and all. It just “grinds my gears” – no wait, I used that slogan for a blog already. It just makes me grumpy we always have to pay the stupid “a moment on the lips, an eternity on the hips” price for the foods we enjoy most. And on grey, cloudy and rainy days like this perfectly suited for comfort foods and movies I don’t want to worry about the calories they leave behind.

Well, that’s OK. We can’t appreciate the destination without fully respecting the journey…

…every yummy, calorie-rich, has to be “worked off,” “no good for you” step of it.

So last night I attended what’s known as a “tweetup,” a gathering of people from a particular region who use the social media network known as Twitter. This event was held at a delicious restaurant known as Tortilla Press which is an awesome fresh Mexican influenced food (and which also offers wonderful vegetarian options, as well). However, As I am on my “being good” kick I was worried about eating well.

Here’s how the evening went…

…I walked in and there were just a few people there. I introduce myself and order my first (and only) margarita. At this point I am thinking I’m O.K. food-wise because I’m thinking no food will be served and I can save my calories.

…No later than half-an-hour later the group is served a wonderful and tasty selection of appetizers – chips and salsas, Mexican-inspired buffalo wings (including a vegetarian meatless buffalo wing), delicious fried empanadas, a selection of chicken and cheese quesadillas and more. I was heading for trouble.

…At about an hour in I was successful at staying away from the buffalo wings (although I did try one of the meatless ones just to see what it was like. It was oddly textured but tasty), but I did sample the fried empanada, chicken and cheese quesadillas and chips and salsa. Man, that salsa was good.

…After an hour-and-a-half I started remembering why I can’t eat like that anymore. Not that there was anything wrong with the food (it was all very delicious) but I simply do not eat like that anymore – and my tummy reminded me of that. My body has just adjusted to a new way of eating and thinking. That’s all. Thankfully I had had only really went to town on the chips and salsa (the salsa was awesome) but mixed in with the rest I knew I was done.

…After two hours I left, as the event was winding down anyway, and headed out. I pulled into the local convenience store and bought myself a Coke. Not because I really wanted one but it helped calm things down a bit in my tummy. And that capped off my dinner.

Sigh. As I got on the scale today I, thankfully, only gained a few ounces. But I should absolutely know better. I had in my mind this noble thought, especially getting over a cold, that’s I’d go home after and make something healthy (like that lemon chicken recipe again) but alas, I did not. My dinner consisted of appetizers, a margarita and a Coke.

In the grand scheme of things was I completely bad? Absolutely not. I soooooo was not, and I know I have been waaaaaaaaay worse in my life going out and eating at social events. But I know my dinner should not have been what I ate. Bad Bill. Bad Bill. Especially since my tummy voiced its opposition, too. Next time I just need to eat BEFORE I go. This way I’ll be very good and can stick to what’s important…

…a second margarita.

Ah, here we are. Another weekend. Another chance to suck it up and make sure I both exercise and eat well.

But two things bother me going into this weekend. I’m stuck at 233, which I guess is OK, and I have a birthday party I need to go to tonight and I’m worried about eating too many of the wrong things. See, first and foremost, I am a stress/emotional eater. Second, a social eater. I like having what others have. I like reaching for buffalo wings, pizza slices, loaded nachos, onion rings, fried cheese sticks and Coca-Colas, too.

And it does suck sometimes knowing I’m gonna be nursing some water and trying to find God knows what on the menu to eat. It always seems the healthiest choices on the menu sound the least appetizing. But I’m going to take a deep breath and remember my own words. I know I just have to be good and think about what I put into my body tonight. I am the only one who can do that. I am the only one who makes me eat anything. And I am the one who has to answer for it on the scale.

See, talking it out helps me, too. It helps me re-focus and know that being fat was my own doing from the things I did to myself. And if I never want to see that old me again I have to be good whether it’s the weekend or not.

OK, I feel much better. Thanks for listening to me vent. Now, off to the gym…

…and I will let you guys know tomorrow how I do tonight. And remember, you have that power, too. Deciding what foods enter your body is all up to you as it is to me.

So last night I was hanging out with some friends and we went to a place in Philly called Q BBQ & Tequila. When I walked up to the place (which I had never heard of before) I was sad because it was the replacement for Philadelphia Fish Company, a restaurant in which I had eaten and liked.

Anywho, I was ravenously hungry when I arrived so we decided to order a couple of rounds of appetizers before our main course.  And as we are chit-chatting away the mildly-spicy and honey BBQ wings arrive, along with an order of guacamole, salsa and chips.

Why am I telling you this? Why do I dare start the day with mentions of yummy food stuffs? Because  I made the deal with myself to have and enjoy (on occasion and as a treat) the foods I have always loved. After all, I don’t want to be a grumpy bastard because I don’t have a buffalo wing or cookie from time to time.

The wings were really, really good, particularly the honey ones. They were what I should have stuck with the entire night. Kind of like not mixing liquor when you go out. Noooooooo, instead I ordered something on their menu called the BigASS Burger.

Why I do this to myself I’ll never know. This burger had a hamburger patty, pulled pork, bacon and sausage (I kid you not) on a bun with bbq sauce and cole slaw. Instead of ordering both fries AND cheddar grits it was wisely suggested I just get one or the other so I went for the cheese grits (I looooove grits and they’re hard to find around these parts). When the burger came it wasn’t as big as I thought it would be (thank God, again why I order such things…). It was just tall. So I schmushed everything down between the buns, opened my big mouth and took a bite.

I guess I’m telling you all this because there are some foods worth the splurge, worth it enough that the calories you eat are worth it because the taste of something is sooooo good. Like the wings. They were totally worth the splurge. The burger on the other hand? So-so.

There was so much meat on this burger that it ceased being a burger and was more a cacophony of food noise in a bun. The overall taste wasn’t bad, but I couldn’t make out any of the ingredients except for maybe the sausage. The pulled pork was totally lost, as was the slaw and I had to add sauce to the whole thing to keep it tasting all bbq-ey.

Would I eat that burger again? Nah. The bacon, sausage, hamburger and pork on it was like a heart attack and a bypass rolled into one and no one should eat that more than once (I think). But I would eat at the place again. Cheddar grits were great as were the wings.

And with this begins a new segment on the website – WORTH THE SPLURGE, a list of places and foods around the world worth the calories. And if you guys have any suggestions, from anywhere, send them to me. But don’t forget to tell me where the place is, what items are worth the splurge and describe them to me.

And by the way, I will be eating healthier for the next couple of days to make up for the BigASS burger. Although that burger ain’t as big ass as some burgers I’ve had, the biggest and best one from Boston Blackies in Chicago.

Now there’s a great, BIG ASS BURGER…