Determined To Succeed

OK, how sad is it that Gary Coleman has passed away at the age of 42? I have to admit I’m in a bit of shock. Not as much shock as when I heard Michael Jackson or Brittany Murphy died but a bit of shock, nonetheless. I remember growing up and tuning in to “Diff’rent Strokes” on whatever night of the week it was on. Me and my friends always, ALWAYS, used to imitate Coleman’s Arnold character saying “whatchoo talkin’ bout, Willis?” And it wasn’t just the comedic timing and incredible delivery of the line…it was those damn chubby cheeks, too.

I had chubby cheeks when I was a kid, too, but was neither as cute nor had a fan base that kept wanting me to repeat a line over and over again. I never had a catch phrase. I was just a fat kid, and my chubby cheeks were the result of me eating badly, eating often and not exercising. Hell, if anything my catch phrase was “you gonna eat that?”

OK, that made me chuckle just a bit.

I think the thing that strikes me most is the fact that Gary Coleman died at 42. I will turn 40 in December and think the best years of my life are ahead of me and here’s this cat who’s just died and he was only 2 years (two-and-a-half years) older than that. Wow. It blows me away. And why do I feel like the best years of my life are ahead of me? You guessed it. Because I lost weight, weight that was definitely holding me back from doing things. Weight that kept more of the “real” Bill from being seen. Weight that very well might have killed me at or around 40.

So today, I get up (late again, so sorry) to write before trying to start my Memorial Day weekend. There are things I need to do (well, try to do) and Coleman’s passing reminds us (OK, me) ever so gently to get out there, do these things and live life the best we can. As much as I sit and write about and discuss weight (yes, the seemingly ever-present “Battle of the Final Ten”) I know in my heart I’ve already gotten to that goal before and I will again. I beat this. I overcame the weight thing before and these last few pounds are just a revisit of endgame, nothing more. I will never go back to being 400 pounds. I have too much riding on the investment I’ve already made in myself and it has nothing to do with money or position or things. It has everything to do with just being able to wake up every day and have the ability to do these things. I want to skydive out of a plane (yes, a perfectly good plane), I want to climb a mountain, do a stunt for a movie, bungee off a bridge (yes, a perfectly good bridge), meet James Earl Jones and tell him I got into radio because of him. I also want to travel the world more, go scuba diving and so much more…all of which are now possible without weight in my way.

That’s what I’m talkin’ bout, Willis.

PS: I know my friends in the Philly area are not gomna like me too much for saying this but one of the things I want to see is every major Chicago team win a respective championship in my lifetime. I’ve seen the Monsters of the Midway, the Chicago Bears, win the Superbowl. I’ve seen the Chicago White Sox win the World Series. And no doubt everyone has seen the Bulls’ NBA trophies in the years of its dynasty led by Michael Jordan. And now, “Here Come The Hawks, ” The Chicago Blackhawks who play tonight against the Philadelphia Flyers in Game 1 of the Stanley Cup finals. I am thrilled. The team has not won the Cup since 1961, the longest current cup drought in the NHL. At 49 years, it is the second longest Stanley Cup drought in NHL history. So let’s go Hawks…

…now as long as I can keep my healthy lifestyle going long enough to see my beloved Chicago Cubs win that ever-elusive World Series…

T.G.I.F. my friends! I hope you guys had a great week. Well, it’s finally here – the three-day Memorial Day Weekend.

I know I don’t need to remind you guys that Memorial Day (formerly known as Decoration Day) is traditionally a holiday observed on the last Monday of May and commemorates U.S. men and women who died while in the military service. It is because of this ultimate sacrifice I want to begin my blog honoring the brave men and women who fight (and die) in service to our country. I may not believe in some of the reasons our military personnel are pressed into service but I will always support the people who defend my right and the right of every American to be able to say that. So to all of you, thank you for your service to our country and good luck to you all.

Memorial Day Weekend is also the unofficial start of summer and most of us look forward to this weekend for two reasons – the aforementioned  three day weekend and cooking out. For as long as I can remember have always enjoyed the sights, sounds, smells and tastes of the many foods we grill and barbecue all weekend long.

Going to my mom’s friend, Rosalyn’s, house we cooked out a lot. We had hamburgers, hot dogs, potato salad, chips, chicken, cole slaw, beans, greens, you name it. And it was all good. When I grew up I enjoyed going to my friend’s houses to have the same wonderful foods as we sat in their back yards talking about any and everything, solving the problems of the world (we were always right, of course) and enjoying the (hopefully) warm temperatures (sometimes in Chicago you never know what you’re gonna get temperature wise).

But my perspective has changed slightly since those good ol’ days of not worrying about what and how much I was eating. I’ve lost the weight of a grown man since then so of course I go into this weekend slightly cautious. Not because I’m going to deny myself the flavors of the weekend (I am damn well going to have a hot dog or piece of barbecue chicken) but cautious of the amount I eat.

You see, if we aren’t careful, we could easily eat a day’s worth (or more) of fat and calories in just one Memorial Day meal. And there are some of you out there who might be lucky enough to have two or three cookouts to go to. So, just remember the following tips to get you through and keep you on-track:

First, a grilled hot dog on a bun, an eight-ounce hamburger on a bun and/or two chicken drumsticks with skin on all have over 300 calories. If you want to cut calories take away the buns  and go with skinless chicken. There are also low-fat hot dogs, veggie dogs, veggie burgers and turkey burgers that make delicious meals, too, and a turkey burger with all the trimmings is a darn tasty way to grill and cut back on calories.

Second, choose a side dish that isn’t creamy, like cole slaw (which can also have a lot of sugar) or potato salad (with mayo).  I know those are awesome and delicious but remember this is about the amount you eat. So if you’re going to have multiple meats (hot dogs and hamburgers) be willing to cut back on the sides. You might want to try a slightly spicy black bean salsa as an alternative.  I have made this myself and it is not only delicious, but it’s full of protein, fiber (to lower cholesterol and improve gastrointestinal health) and lycopene (tomato containing phytonutrient). It is perfect for cook-outs, and you can even spoon some onto a salad to boost taste and nutritional value.

Third, condiments can kill in terms of calories (and boy do I love alliteration).  Ketchup has the most calories, with an ounce being almost 30 calories, and sweet pickle relish having roughly 20 calories per tablespoon ( and c’mon. I know you and I both tend to put more on than just a tablespoon per hot dog or burger). In the condiment world mustard is your friend. French’s yellow mustard, for example, has zero calories for a teaspoon serving.

Fourth, who can resist their sweet tooth? Show of hands? I know I can’t. My sweet tooth is notorious (and wanted in 29 states). Odds are your cookout or  picnic will have a sweet dessert or two. Remember the golden rule – if you’re gonna cheat, cheat with a liquid. Have a popsicle. Heck, if there’s not one in the house maybe the Good Humor or Mr. Frosty truck will drive by and you can grab one. Although they are empty of nutrition, each popsicle contains only about 40 calories and takes a long time to eat, helping to satisfy your cravings.

Lastly, don’t be afraid to bring your own healthier foods especially if you think there won’t be many (or any) healthier alternatives.Carrot sticks and hummus, baked tortilla chips and that slightly spicy black bean salsa salsa, a three bean salad (remember the darker the bean the better it is for you), cold sliced watermelon, cold Clementine oranges, and corn on the cob (with no butter!) are all great choices. It’s not as rude as you think, especially when you bring enough for everyone to share and can tell everyone of your weight loss goals and what you are doing to achieve them.

Yes, forewarned is forearmed and in the case of a weekend built around enjoying the foods of summer knowing how to control your intake will not only help you lose that weight but also allow you to have and enjoy many, many more Memorial Days to come.

My friends, good morning.

It’s been a whirlwind last couple of days to be sure. Remember when I told you I lost out on a contest opportunity, and how I was having a sort of down day because of it? Well, my luck turned around and I am now in the contest and a participant in the conference surrounding it. So, as you read this, I will be winging my way to Atlanta, Georgia.- home of greens, grits and wonderful southern fried chicken (God help me).

Yesterday, Saturday, I didn’t do all that well with eating to be honest. I was in the process of getting ready for my trip and I indulged in – wait for it – Beef Fried Rice and a couple of egg rolls, washed down by some diet orange pop (soda). For dinner (which I had late because I was sooooo full from lunch) I had a meatball sandwich from Wawa (which, believe me, is very good).

Now this would be the point in the blog where I would say “grrrrrrr,” and kind of slap myself around a bit feeling guilty and mad for the food I consumed. Well, not today. Today, as part of the new Zen me, I am taking a deep breath and being cool about it. Do I know I shouldn’t have eaten a large beef fried rice, egg rolls and several glasses of (yummy) orange pop? Of course. But will I get right back up and eat healthier today and the rest of my stay in Atlanta? Yes. Definitively, yes.

That is not to say, however, I won’t be having a sample of southern cuisine. I do want some of the afore-mentioned grits (with butter and salt is best) and good greens (with hot sauce sprinkled in – yum). The fried chicken on the other hand I might leave alone. After all, a leg leads to a wing. A wing leads to a breast. A breast leads to a thigh and before I know it I’ve eaten a whole half fried chicken (which I’ve done before at my fave friend chicken joints in Chicago, Harold’s Chicken).

And, please know I am taking my workout clothes with me on my trip so I can get up early before each day’s seminars, workshops and speeches to hit the gym to do some elliptical and/or treadmill, free weights and, hopefully, the steam room. Fat and calories don’t take days off and neither will I. And I will report all the culinary treats I try while in a city I’ve never been to before.

My first temptations, though, lie not with southern food in Atlanta but with hot dogs in Chicago. Yeah, I have to fly into Chicago to connect to Atlanta and you all know what that means…

…tasty, tempting and delicious Chicago-style hot dogs.

Tomorrow’s going to be a long day. Wish me luck.

Remember the glory days of school field trips? Oh, they were awesome. You were in home room and your teacher announced that the class was going to take a field trip to (insert museum, institution or performing arts center of your choice here). She/he handed out the requisite permission slips and it was like getting a free plane ticket. At least it was for me. It meant I got a chance to get out of the classroom and see something else. And one of the trips I remember was to the Art Institute of Chicago.

You’ve heard me talk about this place before and how it houses my favorite painting in the world (Paris Street: Rainy Day by French artist Gustave Caillebotte) but I distinctly remember my field trip to the Art Institute for another reason. The first time I saw naked people and not just any naked people, naked women. And not just naked women but beautiful, full-figured Rubenesque women with not only ample bosom and hips but also of, in some cases rolls of pudge and cellulite.

They were some of the most beautiful paintings I had (and have) ever seen.

My mom had always told me, even when I was a boy, the human body was nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about and here in this museum was the proof. Thanks to the art and influence of  Peter Paul Rubens we got to see “real” women, full-bodied women, voluptuous and zaftig who were painted as beautiful subjects full of life, ripeness and sensuality.

Now where in the hell did society go wrong? When did we go from seeing beautiful women of curves transformed into heroin-chic stick figures whom the fashion industry considers “beautiful.” For the life of me I can’t imagine why these women (and men) would be any more attractive naked than the Rubenesque women portrayed in the paintings I saw in the museum.

The Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines naked in several ways after the customary 1) not covered by clothing: nude definition. The most interesting definitions, however, are the following:

3 a : scantily supplied or furnished b : lacking embellishment : unadorned

4 : unarmed, defenseless

5 : lacking confirmation or support

6 : devoid of concealment or disguise

7 : unaided by any optical device or instrument <the naked eye>

Fascinating. Absolutely fascinating that naked is exactly how people of size can feel when standing in front of the mirror at home. We lack embellishment standing there with our Rubenesque rolls (a.k.a. love handles, cellulite and pudge) staring back at us defenseless and vulnerable. It is a naked feeling to do this. Add to that the lacking of confirmation and support from society, the fashion, television and movie industries, etc., and we do truly feel naked. And it is because we cannot disguise or conceal our “ample size” we don’t show our legs or arms in shorts or tank tops. That is why we stay away from the beach in the summer. That is why I don’t wear shorts (that, and my varicose veins in my right leg). To the naked eye we are considered not Rubenesque we are just considered plain old fat.

Our days are getting warmer which means our clothes are getting thinner. They cannot conceal our figures. And that is OK. When we are naked we truly feel naked, and there isn’t a damn person I know at least who is completely 100% happy with everything their body has going on. So do not be embarrassed or ashamed about your bodies. They are yours and if you are on a weight loss journey they’re what you have to work with. You are doing your best to make them smaller, weigh less and become leaner. I know I am. But when I stand in front of the mirror every day I see my fat and extra skin from losing weight. Yep, I do. But it’s then that the words of my mom come back to me…

“…son, the human body is nothing to be ashamed about. It is beautiful.”

As I think of my mama more and more as Mother’s Day approaches I share with you her wisdom and lesson she imparted to me. Be proud of your naked body. It is not something to hide. While we may have extra rolls and skin we don’t want we are no less attractive and just every bit as sexy naked as those damned “high-fashion” models in the magazines…

…and every bit as beautiful as the model in the recent Lane Bryant television ad and the Rubenesque naked people depicted in some of my favorite paintings in my favorite art museum in the entire world. And if a little tubby kid from the South Side of Chicago can take that with him from one field trip and have it stay with him, there’s hope for humanity yet.

You guys know me and my fave beverage of choice – an ice-cold Coca-Cola. However I am not sure if I’ve ever told you guys about my extreme dislike for Diet Coke. Yes, as much as I love “regular” I can’t stand the taste of “unleaded.” I am also one of those people who will only drink certain diet sodas because of the crappy after taste. On my list of decent diet drinks: Diet Dr. Pepper, Diet Canada Dry Ginger Ale, TAB and Diet A&W Root Beer. Other than those few I’d rather drink motor oil (well, OK, I wouldn’t but you get the picture).

As we start having warmer days and want to get our bodies in shape for summer (mine included), my thoughts turn to diet soft drinks. So many people I know love – LOVE – diet drinks, especially Diet Coke. But as today’s temperatures climb to almost 90-degrees here in the Philadelphia/South Jersey area I am wondering exactly how (and if) diet drinks will actually help someone lose weight? Well, more and more studies show they aren’t helping. They also show they even hurt.

Some food (or drink) for thought today before you “hit the road:”

Diet soda isn’t the silver bullet to weight loss it’s often made out to be. Nor does it prevent weight gain. In fact, drinking diet soda is strongly correlated with obesity. When people drink sweet diet sodas our bodies get the message that sweet, high-calorie foods are coming to nourish it. However, when no sweets and/or calories follow the body gets confused: where are the promised calories we need? This may then stimulate your hunger for other high-calorie, sweet foods and drinks (sweeter cereals, snacks, breads and desserts) which may, in turn, lead to weight gain. Also, by getting ourselves used to so much artificial, higher-concentrated sweet, normal sweet flavors such as fruit become bland and so do other healthful foods such as grains and vegetables, thus reducing our willingness to consume them and ultimately the quality of our diet is affected

Further, some health experts speculate that, while diet soda doesn’t cause obesity, people who are starting to put on weight think choosing diet soda alone will stop the process. Meaning, you can’t go into a fast-food restaurant, eat a high-calorie, fatty meal and say, ‘Oh, it’s OK, because I had diet soda.’ If you don’t do anything else but switch to a diet soft drink, you are not going to lose weight. Also, drinking multiple cans of diet soda every day squeezes out from our diets the healthful beverages – juices, water and teas – that can best benefit and truly hydrate our bodies.

Finally, there is still some suspicion – not confirmed – that aspartame, the low-calorie chemical used to sweeten diet sodas, may have some bad health effects. Some animal studies have linked consumption of high quantities of the chemical to brain tumors and lymphoma in rodents. The Food and Drug Administration has certified the sweetener’s safety, but reported side effects include dizziness, headaches, diarrhea, memory loss and mood changes.

Eeeeeewwwwww! He said diarrhea….

A diet soda study, conducted by the University of Texas Health Science Center, studied data on 1,550 Americans ages 25 to 64. The participants were studied for 7 to 8 years. Results showed that total soft drink consumption was tied to increased rates of obesity, but – perhaps surprisingly – participants drinking only diet soda faced the highest obesity rate of all, even greater than that of participants drinking both regular and diet drinks. What exactly is the obesity risk for diet pop (as we say in Chicago and the Midwest) drinkers? The study found an obesity risk of 37.5% for those drinking 1/2 to 1 can of diet soda daily, 54.5% risk of obesity for those drinking 1 to 2 cans daily, and a whopping 57.1% risk for those drinking more than 2 diet pops per day.

Wow!

With so much to do today remember healthier choices abound. Start your day with a small glass of 100 percent fruit juice. Drink skim milk with meals. Sip water throughout the day. For variety, try sparkling water or add a squirt of lemon or cranberry juice to your water. Save diet soda for an occasional treat if you want to have it because, like anything and everything else, taken in moderation it’s OK.

Just not as OK as you might think (or drink).

Have you guys ever been to Las Vegas? If you have you know that the opportunity to gamble hits you as soon as you get off the plane. Near every gate slot machines welcome you much like the wonderful hula dancers do in Hawai’i. Except instead of Leis and the sounds of island music you are welcomed with the pings, dings and electronic sounds that beckon you to come a “throw a few in” before hitting “the Strip.”

For me going home to Chicago is the same kind of experience, except instead of really cool flowered necklaces or blinky “one-armed bandits” I am welcomed by the temptations of Chicago food, starting with the Chicago-style hot dog. I don’t remember if I’ve ever described to you how absolutely yummy a Chicago-style hot dog is so I’ll start with it’s ingredients:

One sesame seed hot dog bun steamed to perfect softness, one Vienna Beef frank, mustard (and absolutely never, under penalty of being shown to the next departing flight, do you EVER add ketchup), onions, nuclear green relish (Chicagoans know what I mean when I say nuclear green), hot peppers, cucumbers, tomato slices and a pickle wedge topped off with a sprinkle of celery salt. Now that’s good eatin’, and the beginning of my visit home.

Some of you might be saying “that’s too much crap to put on a hot dog.” Well, no it’s not. That’s why hot dogs are famous in Chicago.  They are absolutely delicious, and like the Sears Tower or Wrigley Field (my Field of Dreams), a part of the city itself. But the beauty of this is equal to the problem with it – it begins in the airport and it ends in the airport.

Whenever I go home my friends here in the Philadelphia/South Jersey area ask me “so Bill. Are you going to have any Chicago pizza when you get home? Or that Italian Beef sandwich you keep talking about?” And the answer is never easy. I say “Nah. This trip I’m going to have my favorite Chinese food (at least an egg roll or two). Maybe a hot dog.” You see I have to be sooooo careful whenever I go home because a trip home usually means being tempted by the same foods that helped me grow to be over 400 pounds.

Today, I was lucky enough to have one of my hometown papers, the Chicago Sun-Times, do a story on me and weight loss and that’s what got me thinking about going home and eating. It’s so automatic. It’s so instant. It’s so tempting. Most of all, it’s so dangerous. All the foods I love in my favorite place in the entire world – home. It’s comforting and dangerous and so very tempting to have my home food experience begin as soon as I get off that plane.

But do I enjoy myself? You bet your a – er, I mean, bottom dollar – I do. But now I have to be almost hyper aware of my surroundings, situations and emotions whenever I’m near my favorite places – like 65 Seafood Restaurant, my favorite Chinese Food and egg roll in the city, near the corner of Michigan Avenue & Wacker (Wacker. Wacker. It is funny sounding, I know, but a street name, nonetheless).The legendary Superdawg on the corner of Milwaukee and Devon (pronounced de-VAHN by us natives), or Portillos in the heart of downtown on the corner of Ontario and Clark. Even Gene & Jude Red Hot Stand on River Road who hand-cut their delicious french fries right in front of ya’. That’s tasty eatin’, indeed. Not to mention my South Side/Hyde Park favorites – Harold’s Chicken (best damn fried chicken in the city), Ribs ‘N Bibs and Valois, a restaurant known as much for its wonderful all-walks-of-life clientele as it is for its “see your food” cafeteria-style method of serving.

You can see how a Chicago boy like me could grow up to grow out so much. This is what I have to be hyper aware of when I go home – the cravings for all these foods bombarding me like the beautiful neon and lighted signs and pings, dings and blinks of the slot machines that are abound in Las Vegas.

Nowadays, I am better. Not perfect, but better, about eating if/when I go home. I certainly give myself a big pep talk before stepping foot on my homeward bound plane saying “OK, Larson. You know you need to make smart choices. If you’re gonna have this you can’t have that. Got it?” And if I am lucky I do avoid giving in to the culinary temptations that surround me almost at every corner.

However I do admit having slot machines in the airport is a smart deal. They may not get you coming in, but, ideally, you’ve had so much fun you want just one last taste of it before heading back to reality, especially when waiting for your flight. This is the exact thing I feel in C Terminal at O’Hare International Airport. Whenever I’m home I have a blast just walking the streets that I want one more Taste of Chicago before heading back to Philly…

…one more hot dog for the road.

And for those history buffs out there…

The “Chicago Style” hot dog got its start from street cart hot dog vendors during the hard times of the Great Depression. Money was scarce, but business was booming for these entrepreneurs who offered a delicious hot meal on a bun for only a nickel. The famous Chicago Style Hot Dog was born! They’d start with a Vienna Beef hot dog, nestle it in a steamed poppyseed bun and cover it with a wonderful combination of toppings: yellow mustard, bright green relish, fresh chopped onions, juicy red tomato wedges, a kosher-style pickle spear, a couple of spicy sport peppers, cucumber and finally, a dash of celery salt. This unique hot dog creation with a “salad on top” and its memorable interplay of hot and cold, crisp and soft, sharp and smooth, became America’s original fast food and a true Chicago institution.

Remember the movie “Tron?” In it Oscar-winner Jeff Bridges plays a computer programmer who literally gets sucked into the virtual world of games and computers. The filmmakers back then knew, or at least had a sense of, how much technology was sucking us into our computers, and that was back in 1982.

It is so easy working from home to get sucked into the virtual world vortex. It really is. I can see how kids these days don’t go outside and play as much as we did. At your fingertips you not only have access to the news and happenings of the world but you also have media networks like Twitter and Facebook handy – enabling you to visit and “communicate” with literally hundreds of friends, all at the same time.  Nowadays, I work from home and, during the course of my day, I not only answer e-mails but I network using these wonderful media tools with friends and business associates all over the country. However, the end result is that it easily becomes 5 or 6 o’clock and I haven’t gone outside to enjoy the smattering of nice weather we’ve been having in southern New Jersey or gotten up to workout.

It wasn’t all that different when I didn’t work from home.  I’d get up, get ready, get in my car and sit in traffic with idiot drivers just to sit at work for 8 or 10 hours. Hell, in the winter I would get to work sometimes when it was dark outside and leave when it was dark outside, not once leaving my desk unless I had to use the restroom or grab a quick Coke out of the vending machine.

The past few weeks I’ve been feeling nostalgic and I now know why. I am rapidly approaching the one year anniversary of my mom, JoAnn’s, death from pancreatic cancer. I have had a hankering to reconnect with so many things, especially from my youth – music, photos, foods, friends and, most of all, my Sweet Home Chicago. I remember so many wonderful things it’s hard to tell you guys about them because they all want to come out at the same time and they get bottlenecked in my throat. But I will share one thing with you this morning – “Piggy” in the park after school.

At about 4 o’clock or so my friends, Pierre, Rachette, Richard, Liz and I (plus some other peripheral friends) would gather in the park directly behind my building in Hyde Park. We’d play a game called “Piggy,” a variation of softball that included no running of the bases but a batter who was at bat until the rest of the players made an “out” by catching the ball using a very uncomplicated set of rules. It was fun and we did this most days after school. We’d be out there so long our moms, God love ‘em, would come out and tell us it was time for dinner. I have so been thinking about those times, and I’ve so been thinking about my mom, whom I miss very, very much.

But why do I bring all of this up this morning? I do it to illustrate a point, at least a perceived one, about activity (or lack thereof) and weight loss. It used to be in the late-70s/early-80s we’d actually go out and play. We’d actually get out and interact with our friends face-to-face. If we wanted to talk to them we’d actually ring them up or knock on their doors. We didn’t have the technology that allows us to text someone, or tweet, when they’re standing right next to us at the mall, in a restaurant or yes, at the park.

Hell. Do kids even go to the park anymore?

I became and obese child, in part, due to a lack of physical activity. I may have played “Piggy” outside but it wasn’t enough, especially when you think about the quality and quantities of food I was consuming. And that was in a pre-PDA, pre X-Box, pre-social media age. The problem lies in that technology isn’t just for kids anymore and we adults can easily get sucked into the vortex of inactivity because we’re spending too much time in the virtual world and not enough time in the real one.

Yesterday I told you guys about how I’d re-gained a hard-fought-for pound. Well, that pound is gone and it took a few of his ouncie friends with him. I am down to 237.8 today thanks not only to lots of physical activity helping a friend move but also just taking the time to run to Chick-fil-A and grabbing a grilled chicken sandwich instead of having crap as that wonderful little voice inside my head keeps saying. But what about today when I don’t have to help a friend move?

So many of my friends on Twitter actually tweet that they “unplug” for a while to go and do something real – feed the kids and wash some clothes, or wash some kids and feed some clothes – and I have to do the same. We all should. I will unplug, at least for a bit, and get out and enjoy the sun, get some vitamin D – maybe even go and see a nesting pair of ducks at Cooper River and wish them well. I made a promise to myself to workout, not gain my weight back and achieve my goal. That will not happen if I’m sitting here at this wonderful box of light waiting on an e-mail that might or might not come in the next few microseconds.

No matter whether we are adults or kids, outside time is important. Time for us is important. It helps us reconnect with what matters most – our families, our real friends (not virtual ones) and most of all, ourselves especially if we are to achieve our weight loss goals. Not to mention the really cool added benefit – it’s damn fun, too.

Ah! It’s a beautiful morning. The sun is shining, the birds are singing and there’s a crisp breeze in the air.

It’s day two of my detox from Coke and I am doing OK. I even did OK when I went to the store to pick up a few things. I know some of you know this but certain aisles just call to you in the store. For me, it’s the beverage aisle (of course), followed by the sweets/snacks aisle (you know, like Hostess Cakes and such). When I was a kid it was the cereal aisle, mainly because most cereals back then had movie tie-in toys or promotions and I have always ALWAYS been about the movie “biz” even back then. Hell, I didn’t even have to like the cereal (i.e. Coco Puffs), I just wanted the toy, poster or proof of purchase.

Anyhow, I was walking towards the checkout counter and I realized I was walking through the soft drink aisle. Yikes! The mother of all temptations. But I was cool and collected. I was enjoying my newly-found sobriety and life is all about choices (as that wonderful voice keeps reminding me inside my head). So I started walking through and noticed they had these mini Coke cans. Now I had seen the 100-calorie Coke cans before but these were slender (good marketing ploy on their part) and were only 90 calories per can. But I held firm and said “nope. Not gonna do it.” It was then I discovered, or should I say re-discovered, a really good alternative – TAB.

Yeah. That’s right. TAB. Good old TAB, from like the 70s. Tab, in the pink can with lettering that looked like they called up the same graphic designer from “American Bandstand” and said “hey, I wanna use that font” TAB. And I like TAB. Wanna make something of it (he asks in a somewhat defensive manly voice)?

I hadn’t had a TAB in years. Not since my days at working at 680 North Lake Shore Drive in Chicago. Why do I remember that? Because inside that building was it’s own veritable small town community – a dry cleaners, video store (remember those?), drug store, florist (!?), travel agent. Hell, they even had their own hair salon and grocery store. And I can tell you that residents and us workers really appreciated that Treasure Island grocery store, especially in the dead of winter or heat of summer so we didn’t have to go outside.

Inside this store was almost everything you could imagine (they catered to an eclectic mix of people) including TAB. The last time I bought one had to be around 2004, and even back then I was surprised they still made it. I had always liked TAB as a diet soft drink as opposed to other diet drinks like Diet Coke (ironic that I can’t stand that and LOVE regular Coke products). And it was in the days before Coke Zero (or Coke Cherry Zero, my fave). TAB was crisp and tasty and for me was like V-8 Juice. Every now and then I could have one. Other times, I could take or leave it.

So, as I was in the store yesterday I bought a six pack of TAB in the manliest way possible. By just strolling with a confident swagger up to the checkout counter and buying it, along with my fruit, cream for coffee and small selection of lunch meat. No one looked twice at me, mainly because I think no one expects TAB to still exist. And I took my TAB home knowing it was the one soft drink I didn’t crave but also knowing it was a good soft drink alternative to regular Coke.

So there it is. I have beaten back (at least for now) the “need” for Coke and I start today with that sun on my face clean and sober. I swear to you it really does feel like I’ve gone straight or gotten clean from my addiction, and I will have my TAB but not have an overwhelming craving for it. But with friends coming in from out of town and me playing tour guide today I am slightly worried about showing the town famous for one food in particular – cheesesteaks. And while this Chicago boy will always be loyal to his Italian Beef sandwiches a good cheesesteak hoagie every now and then can be good, too.

I just need to resist and have myself something much lighter…washed down possibly by one of my cans of ice-cold TAB.

Yeah. I said TAB. THAT TAB. Wanna make something of it (he now asks with a smile)?

Sometimes I feel like such an addict. It starts with my thoughts wandering toward my addiction. I’m just going about my business and all of a sudden those thoughts start their evil takeover. How nice a small taste might be. Then, out of nowhere it goes from being just a thought to a powerful taste that begins in my mouth before running to and infecting my brain. When it gets there, it’s all over. That’s when my mind starts playing tricks on me, helping my conscious justify having my addiction and lying to me saying “if we just have this one it’ll be the last time.” The phrase “I can quit any time I want” comes to mind. It’s so bad sometimes I feel like dressing up in a trenchcoat, brimmed hat and sunglasses just to “score.”

Now I have been lucky in my life that my tastes, my addictions, do not run to illegal drugs, or alcohol or gambling. No, they run in a different direction. One that promises to thwart any weight loss journey if done to extremes – My friends, my name is Bill and I’m a Coca-holic.

I know I’ve spoken about this before but those of you who know me know I have this “thing” for ice-cold Coca-Cola. I don’t know what it is but I do and lately it has gotten so bad I think the Coke delivery people are wondering why they have to refill the Coke section of the local Wawa so much in my part of town.  And if I have one I get that rush of immediate satisfaction followed closely by “ok, I just want one more…”

See, I am an addict.

Don’t you guys get that craving for that one something? That “thing” of yours you can’t resist? Ice-cream, doughnuts, candy bars, potato chips, hot dogs or Chinese food (that’s another addiction of mine, too, but one that’s way more controllable since the Chinese food here isn’t as good as it is back home in Chicago). It doesn’t matter. EVERYONE has an addiction to some type of food. I can’t be alone in this. Am I?

And what makes it worse if that my addiction goes part-and-parcel with weight gain, and I have struggled so hard to keep this stupid weight off and will be working on that for the rest of my life.  I talk about driving “the gauntlet” all the time (Wendy’s little red-haired girl, McDonald’s clown, Burger King’s, well, king, and Kentucky Fried Chicken’s colonel), but nothing will stop me more in my tracks than a 20-ounce bottle of “the good stuff.”

Jeez! Thank God I don’t crave anything else addictive.

Yesterday was a good day. I didn’t have a single Coke and I feel fairly strong today that I will not have one, kind of like going through detox and coming out the other side clean and sober. Part of that is from that wonderful voice in my head saying there are a million reasons to do bad/dumb/unhealthy things. But everything is a choice and, at some point, you chose to move in a healthier direction. It’s not perfect, and if I fail today it doesn’t mean I’ll fail tomorrow.  I do just keep moving in a good direction while also trying not to eat crap, too. And I so try to ignore the cravings, the call of the impulse buy coolers next to the checkout counters. Yesterday I succeeded and I plan to succeed again today.

Yesterday I spoke of light bulbs going on in our head that help us deal with our weight issues. I talked about how mine went on and that’s when I decided to lose weight. But food addictions can easily knock those lights out again. We (and I) just have to find ways to control them, and I have to find ways to walk away from the Coke. Find a way to turn the light bulb back on by developing a new set of Coke-coping skills. That is a food person’s “rehab.” My Coke rehab.

Coke ain’t a bad thing, and I do try to have it, as well as my other favorite foods, in moderation. It’s just been getting bad lately, hence my weight gain. But the sun is out today and I feel “clean.” I like that “clean” feeling very much, as if the syrup is drained from my veins and blood is flowing strong and free again. My scale also showed me good news today and I so love that feeling, too.

And like any recovering addict I will just take this one day at a time. Oh great, now the theme song from the old 70’s TV show is running through my head. That’s enough to kill the taste for anything from anyone’s mouth.

Yesterday, I talked to a new friend of mine in Chicago who had recently told me about their extremely overweight friend, “Elle.” Elle is part of a lunch-bunch-like group of ladies who meet every week or couple of weeks and have fun, shoot the bull and, well, have lunch (or coffee or whatever).

Anyway, my friend, as well as others in the group, are very worried about Elle. You see, Elle is not just overweight, she is morbidly so. My friend guestimates Elle’s weight to be probably close to 400 lbs.  But moreover, Elle is having such bad health problems because of it she is in serious health danger. Elle is of fair complexion but her legs have turned dark thanks to lack of circulation. She has developed circulatory sores or ulcers on her legs for which she sees the wound center at the hospital. And she probably has more problems none of the others know about because Elle isn’t talking. Elle is floating down the river of denial (which ain’t just a river in Egypt). And she is floating closer and closer to losing her legs and, ultimately, losing her life.

Wanna know the kicker?

Elle works in a hospital, where she has access to all the health advice and care in the world, and her own brother is a doctor. When I heard that I couldn’t believe it. Here is a woman who is slowly killing herself by not addressing her growing health problems and SHE HAS HELP RIGHT AT HER FINGERTIPS!!!!

I asked my friend how the others feel and they are all concerned. Elle comes from a family that all but ignores the seriousness of the problem. Mom jokes “there goes my big girl,” but none of them address it. Apparently they are all bad at really discussing feelings and serious problems. Yes, it’s one of those families – just don’t talk about it and it will go away. Elle’s best friend, “Marney” is concerned but has given up on trying to help Elle. At this point she is more concerned with rocking the boat and losing the friendship than actually practicing tough love and risking that to potentially save someone’s life. Her excuse – if Elle wanted to do something she’d do it for herself. “I can’t make her do it.”

I sat and thought about that the rest of yesterday. It is very true that all of us overweight people, assuming we do not have health issues/conditions preventing us from losing weight, have a responsibility to help ourselves and take responsibility for our obesity. Absolutely. But I could not believe my ears when I heard Marney was more concerned about losing the friendship rather than stepping in. Doesn’t she understand that if Elle continues down this path she will lose her anyway? Whether it is piece by piece (amputations and surgeries) or all at once (stroke, heart attack)?

My friend is trying one last time to reach Elle and get her to see what’s going on. I am so keeping my fingers crossed that Elle WANTS help. Because if she doesn’t it’s over. It’s just a matter of time. And did I mention that Elle just got married last year after finally finding true love? What will he have to go through taking care of her? Why doesn’t he help?

There come times in our lives when we say the following tragic sentence: “I wish I could have done more to help…” How many times do we wish we could turn back the hands of time to help someone, or help ourselves, out of a situation that, with a little help, could have turned out differently? My friend, Marney and the rest of the group are at a time in Elle’s life when they could help Elle. At least try their best to intervene and save Elle’s life, not worrying whether or not Elle will be mad but worrying about Elle will be dead. But they turn a blind eye and a deaf ear. Tisk Tisk.

Why am I so passionate about this? I recently found out a dear friend of mine was mad at me – actually mad at me – for getting to be 400 pounds. She said “Bill, you  have always been this great guy but you were so big I was mad that you let yourself get that way. You were killing yourself.” Then I asked “Why didn’t you say anything?” And my friend said “Because it wasn’t my place.” Oh, but it was. Being the person I am, if my friends came to me and expressed concerns about my health and threatened to cut me off if I didn’t do anything I sure as hell would have. As it stands I was lucky. I bottomed out and helped myself. But Elle and her friends are at the crossroads.

If you know someone who is risking their lives with a behavior you (AND THEY) know is bad, say something. It shows you care. It shows you give a damn. It shows you want them around for years and decades to come. It actually might help make a difference. Tough love is still love and, in most cases, is the love that is NEEDED even though it’s not necessarily love that’s WANTED.

I do not want any of you, especially those of you involved in a weight loss journey, to ever say “I wish I could have done more to help.” And you know exactly why…

…because we don’t say that at weddings, bar/bat mitzvahs or office parties…we usually say that kind of sentence at funerals.