Determined To Succeed

OK, how sad is it that Gary Coleman has passed away at the age of 42? I have to admit I’m in a bit of shock. Not as much shock as when I heard Michael Jackson or Brittany Murphy died but a bit of shock, nonetheless. I remember growing up and tuning in to “Diff’rent Strokes” on whatever night of the week it was on. Me and my friends always, ALWAYS, used to imitate Coleman’s Arnold character saying “whatchoo talkin’ bout, Willis?” And it wasn’t just the comedic timing and incredible delivery of the line…it was those damn chubby cheeks, too.

I had chubby cheeks when I was a kid, too, but was neither as cute nor had a fan base that kept wanting me to repeat a line over and over again. I never had a catch phrase. I was just a fat kid, and my chubby cheeks were the result of me eating badly, eating often and not exercising. Hell, if anything my catch phrase was “you gonna eat that?”

OK, that made me chuckle just a bit.

I think the thing that strikes me most is the fact that Gary Coleman died at 42. I will turn 40 in December and think the best years of my life are ahead of me and here’s this cat who’s just died and he was only 2 years (two-and-a-half years) older than that. Wow. It blows me away. And why do I feel like the best years of my life are ahead of me? You guessed it. Because I lost weight, weight that was definitely holding me back from doing things. Weight that kept more of the “real” Bill from being seen. Weight that very well might have killed me at or around 40.

So today, I get up (late again, so sorry) to write before trying to start my Memorial Day weekend. There are things I need to do (well, try to do) and Coleman’s passing reminds us (OK, me) ever so gently to get out there, do these things and live life the best we can. As much as I sit and write about and discuss weight (yes, the seemingly ever-present “Battle of the Final Ten”) I know in my heart I’ve already gotten to that goal before and I will again. I beat this. I overcame the weight thing before and these last few pounds are just a revisit of endgame, nothing more. I will never go back to being 400 pounds. I have too much riding on the investment I’ve already made in myself and it has nothing to do with money or position or things. It has everything to do with just being able to wake up every day and have the ability to do these things. I want to skydive out of a plane (yes, a perfectly good plane), I want to climb a mountain, do a stunt for a movie, bungee off a bridge (yes, a perfectly good bridge), meet James Earl Jones and tell him I got into radio because of him. I also want to travel the world more, go scuba diving and so much more…all of which are now possible without weight in my way.

That’s what I’m talkin’ bout, Willis.

PS: I know my friends in the Philly area are not gomna like me too much for saying this but one of the things I want to see is every major Chicago team win a respective championship in my lifetime. I’ve seen the Monsters of the Midway, the Chicago Bears, win the Superbowl. I’ve seen the Chicago White Sox win the World Series. And no doubt everyone has seen the Bulls’ NBA trophies in the years of its dynasty led by Michael Jordan. And now, “Here Come The Hawks, ” The Chicago Blackhawks who play tonight against the Philadelphia Flyers in Game 1 of the Stanley Cup finals. I am thrilled. The team has not won the Cup since 1961, the longest current cup drought in the NHL. At 49 years, it is the second longest Stanley Cup drought in NHL history. So let’s go Hawks…

…now as long as I can keep my healthy lifestyle going long enough to see my beloved Chicago Cubs win that ever-elusive World Series…

When I was growing up I was one of my class’ fat kids. I was also taller than most kids so I stood out more and kids can be utterly merciless when it comes to picking on someone NOT their own size. I remember being called “tubby,” “Buffalo Bill,” “fatso…” you name it. I was also physically bullied as a kid. This one kid, Frank, and his prick friend (I don’t remember his name but I’m sure he’ll burn in Hell) cornered me one day in the winter after school, grabbed me, threw me down, took my school supplies and chucked them over the school yard fence. Luckily they were in my nifty Aquaman case or I would have been playing 52-pencil, pen and crayon pick-up all afternoon. Then there was Eddie, who picked on me as I stood my post as a school crossing guard. He bullied me until I faked having a disease and being really hurt by him punching me. Then he got too scared and backed off. There was this other kid whose name I can’t remember. Andrew, I think, or Andre -whatever. Anyhow, it was lunchtime and he tried grabbing me from behind and shoving his chicken bone down my throat. Luckily I had the sense to fight and simply keep my mouth closed because I don’t even think that bastard realized I could have choked to death (coincidentally, he will join the afore-mentioned  prick friend of Frank in Hell).

Yes, as sure as the sun rises each day in the east, kids who don’t look or act like other kids we are singled out for ridicule, especially when overweight. Dr. Julie Lumeng, an assistant research scientist at the Center for Human Growth and Development at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, has authored a study whose data were just released online May 3 (and will be published in the  June issue of Pediatrics) that suggests just being overweight increases the risk of being bullied by 63 percent. And factors that usually play a role in the risk of being bullied, such as gender, race and family income, don’t seem to matter if you’re overweight — being overweight or obese trumps all those other factors when it comes to aggressive behavior from other children (no shit).

She added that researchers also hoped they might be able to find some protective factors against a bully, such as doing well in school. “What we found, much to our dismay, was that nothing seemed to matter. If you were obese, you were more likely to be bullied, no matter what,” she said (again, I say, no shit. Hell, you get picked on for being smart, too. Like having the double-whammy of being a tubby and being a “poindexter”).

And this isn’t new news. In May 2004, Ian Janssen, an obesity researcher at Queens University in Kingston, Ontario, released data that showed overweight adolescents are more likely than normal-weight children to be victims and perpetrators of bullying, bolstering evidence that being fat endangers emotional as well as physical health. The results in a study of 5,749 Canadian youngsters echoed data from British research and followed a U.S. study published in 2003 in which obese children rated their quality of life as low as young cancer patients’ because of teasing and weight-related health problems.

You’ve heard me talk about the perfect storm of factors that led to me being an obese child – not enough money to afford better, healthier foods, not learning proper portion control and lack of exercise. But I’ve neglected to correlate how being picked on can start that comfort food cycle at such a young age and how it carries into and through adulthood. Yes, adults can be and are victims of bullying, too, in the work place, at home, or even in the neighborhood bar.

People who are on a weight loss journey know they have weight to lose. It doesn’t matter whether it’s five pounds or fifty, we know we have a journey ahead of us. And it’s F&$#@*G hard enough getting that weight off and keeping it off without the words or actions of people bullying us or putting us down. Because when we’re sad we are prone to revert to actions we don’t want or need, like eating and over-eating or giving up and not exercising.

There is nothing wrong, though, with standing up and saying “piss off” to a bully and it feels damn good standing up and saying “I am bettering myself by losing weight.” I don’t know what the ultimate answer is to solving the bully problem. It’s been around forever and will be for decades to come. But as our kids become more and more obese and until such time we can reverse this almost epidemic trend the need for a watchful eye and swift action becomes necessary, both in school and home, if for no other reason than to help save a child’s self-image, self-esteem and overall emotional health.

People always pick on the easiest thing to pick on – someone’s physical attributes. However, I wish people would realize how early that vicious circle actually starts and, moreover, how words and actions really hurt people…and their battles to lose weight.