Determined To Succeed

It will come as no surprise to anyone who reads me regularly to know I love “The Empire Strikes Back,” the second film of the “real” “Star Wars” trilogy (the prequels really don’t count and suck anyway). Anywho, in “The Empire Strikes Back” Luke Skywalker is instructed by Yoda, the wise 900-yeasr-old Jedi master, who teaches the kid a thing or two about how to use the Force. Then, when a challenge arises, Luke looks to Yoda and says simply “Unlearn what you have learned.”

I always think about that phrase when dealing with weight loss. Over the three-and-a-half years it took to lose weight and the roughly year-and-a-half I have kept it off (for the most part) I have learned many things that I have used to not only get me through but also offer as advice nuggets (like Chicken McNuggets except better and healthier for you) to those looking for ways to lose weight. But yesterday I was that young Jedi Knight trying to unlearn and put to use the pearls of wisdom imparted to me by Jorge, the personal trainer I saw a couple of weeks ago. So I went to the gym yesterday and started my workout.

Before I begin I feel compelled to say to consult a doctor or personal trainer before attempting any of the exercises I describe in this blog, as they might be strenuous and not suitable for all to do.

One of the things I’ve learned is that cardio exercises, like the elliptical or a treadmill, burn calories but also burn oxygen. However the best way to burn fat is to incorporate weight training into a routine. So I started with shoulder shrugs. Taking a heavy 50-pound dumbbells into each hand I simply shrugged, imitating the “duh, I don’t know” movement we all do from time to time. Except this time I had weight resistance working out my shoulders and back at the same time.

I then switched out to a lighter weight (ten pounds) and did lifts. Placing one knee on a workout bench and anchoring myself with the hand of the same side I took the weight in the opposite hand and lifted it so that my elbow, which is supposed to do all the lifting, came to a 90-degree angle. Then, I slowly let the weight down swinging the dumbbell in front of me like the arm of a grandfather clock. I repeated that ten times then switched sides.

Immediately following that I did the “Superman,” and exercise where the person lays on the floor, arms extended, like Superman and lifts both the front end of their body and legs which works out the back muscles. Oh God, is this difficult but I did manage ten of these before moving on to the next thing, which were lunges.

This seemingly simple exercise, where the participant takes a giant step forward with one leg and stretches out the other behind, uses your leg muscles in ways that really make you feel it, and boy did I feel it. I did twenty of these in the gym. Jorge said to extend my leg so far I could see my toes in front of me when I stepped forward. Well, doing that makes it far more difficult but that also makes it work the legs better. Ouch, but good.

In-between each different exercise I hopped onto the treadmill and did a quick our minutes just to get my heart rate up, which is what Jorge said to do. So I did. It’s not what I’m used to since most of my exercises were cardio in nature but I did it. I kept going, moving from one thing to the next – weighted leg lifts, tummy crunches, weights, push-ups and more – in rapid succession so my body didn’t have time to adjust to the routine, burning more fat (I hope) in the process.

When I was done I sat in the steamroom (my favorite activity) and thought about not just the workout but HOW I worked out. I thought about how many more muscles I used and hoped it did me well in losing more weight and burning more fat. Most of all I thought about Yoda, wondering if he would stand there looking at his Jedi trainee with satisfaction or with disappointment as he did Luke when he tried to “unlearn what he had learned.”

But then I thought of something else Yoda said that can be applied to all of us trying to lose weight, keep it off and exercise as part of a new and better lifestyle. Yoda says “do or do not. There is no try.” And so we shall, doing what we can where we can and knowing something, anything, is better than doing nothing. And that doing something brings us one step closer to those weight loss goals and to being our own personal weight loss Jedi Knights.

It always feels good to know there are others out there like you. It could be that you’re a certain height. Or have weight issues. Or like Kermit the Frog green. It doesn’t matter. We all want to feel connected and we all hate the feeling of being alone. Which is part of why yesterday’s 6ABC webchat about weight loss was so cool. It allowed three of us to tell the world-at-large “you are not alone.”

Here’s a short who’s-who of the other wonderful people I met yesterday. Tim, a businessman who flies often, used to top 500 pounds. Asa was 200 pounds. Asa and Tim (and yours truly) lost weight (Tim, over 250 pounds and Asa, 60) the time-tested way – by eating less and exercising more. (For more on our story you can watch the ABC Action News piece on the right side of this very page. Just click play)

As I sat yesterday answering questions and downed the sweet nectar that was my Dunkin’ Donuts coffee I knew I wanted to put fingers-to-keyboard and make today’s blog all about questions and answers. It’s also about not feeling so alone out there in the real world of weight loss challenges. Yesterday, I described the story I’d heard about a young man going through his own weight battles and challenges whose only 12-years-old.  His story touched my heart because I could totally relate to his personal experiences both in feeling fat but also suffering the barbs of other kids point that out on a constant basis.  But as we “fat kids” grow up some of us, like me, get worse and are always looking for answers and a sense of connection. Today (and every day) I hope to provide both.

It’s not often I get to take questions in real-time about weight loss. Usually I receive e-mails asking me the “hows,” whens,”and “whats” of weight loss but not in the fast and furious world of live TV or a live audience. Below are some of the questions we received yesterday and the answers we gave. I do hope they help.

As you guys know I am in New York attending a conference on all things website. I won’t bore you with the same details with which I was almost bored to sleep (literally – I had to get coffee during one of the panels or it would have been snooze city) but overall it was a great day for day one and I did end up learning tons about stuff so that I could enhance my own weight loss website. That’s the only way I can put it because my brain is mush.

However, the biggest and best thing I learned yesterday didn’t come from one of the speakers. It came from a mom (I won’t say her name for fear she’d be embarrassed). I ran into her while waiting on the last session of the day to begin. While we both waited I started talking to her about what I do and it was as if her eyes lit up. She told me all about her son and how her son, who is only twelve, has already felt the acute sting of what it’s like to be a heavy child.

Even though he’s not obese, he was chubby and his friends and schoolmates constantly let him know in the ever-so-brutally-honest way that only children can. He was the object of jokes and they made him sad, hurt and, worst of all, alone. I so remember what it was like being an obese kid. Even though I should have fit into clothes designated for kids my age I had to get the next size or two up from that just to find stuff that fit. My “friends” made fun of my stomach and my lack of physical ability because of it. I was called “fatty,” “Buffalo Bill” (that was a popular one), “Big Bill…” You name it. And I used to go home and cry about it…then eat to try to get rid of the pain.

I know exactly what this kid is going through because I went through it myself being an overweight child. Then, as I grew into adulthood it went from bad to worse. The brutal honesty of children gave way to the absolute meanness of high schoolers. Man, they were merciless, especially at a time when I was becoming a young adult, trying to attract girls and trying to maintain what little I had left of a positive body image. That is how my sense of humor became so honed. I needed it in both grammar and high schools just to deflect that pain away from me – even if it meant being the butt of my own jokes about myself. Laughter was the only way I could hide that pain. And believe me there was a lot of pain.

As an adult the insults became less but only because adults (well, most adults) learn to mask insults. But nothing, absolutely nothing, can take the look out of someone’s eyes. You can tell what a person is thinking just by looking at them. Like when I boarded a plane…or entered a restaurant.

When I heard this mom’s story all I wanted to do was tell her son it’s OK and that he is absolutely not (I repeat NOT) alone, which is why I, thanks to her son’s story and my newly-found knowledge from yesterdays brain-scrambler series of talks and seminars, am going to devote an upcoming portion of my website to children and weight loss. I know now there are so many of us “fat kids” out there who need a place to go to know they are safe. That’s all, safe. Safe from the barbs and stings of words that cut like swords. Safe from even being made fun of because they’re crying. I used to do that, too. But no more. Thanks in part to Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move” initiative childhood obesity is getting the attention it deserves, shining a light on a problem that’s been festering for decades.

This mom told me that her son has worked hard to get his own extra weight off, which he has done, but that he still says “Mom, I’m fat” when he slips or has a bad eating day (sound familiar?). But help is on the way, kid. Help is on the way. Just know there are many of us out there who has not just survived being pre-teens and teenagers, a feat in-and-of itself. We also have taken the weight off to become healthier and happier people armed with a new way of living so we never see those pounds again.

You can do it, kid. As much as I have faith the adults reading this blog will reach their weight loss goal weights, I have faith in you, too. So keep watching this site. Because through it all, us adults and you kids alike, will get to our weight loss goals. We absolutely will and we will do it together.

Please tell me you guys watch SPARTACUS: BLOOD AND SAND on Starz. It is truly my favorite show on TV these days. And even if you don’t watch it the name alone would probably tell you all you need to know (well, almost all because there is no way I could – or should – describe all the intrigue, language and sex that show has to offer).

In this incredibly violent, sexy R-Rated show our hero, Spartacus, is a slave at a school for gladiators. He trains under the watchful eyes of his school’s owner and its lead instructor, who (literally)  cracks the whip in order for the men to train longer and fight harder eventually become the best and strongest gladiators in all of Rome.Yesterday, I went for the second of two free appointments with a personal trainer and I have to say two things. Damn, my muscles ache today (how cool that it that I actually feel it working) and I actually feel like I am training to be a gladiator.

Not that my personal trainer ever uses the whip but when I go I do think of him as Spartacus’ lead instructor, pushing me harder and training me up to become the best I can be. Even doing something seemingly as simple as leg lunges he teaches you, if done correctly, how much it works out the leg muscles and burns fat. And boy does it burn. When I was losing weight I did whatever exercises I could just to burn the weight off. But now my trainer works to burn off fat which is what I need to happen now. I am at that stage where toning would DEFINITELY be beneficial.

Every time I did mountain climbers, leg presses, dumbbell pulls, hanging ab crunches, “Superman” back exercises, medicine ball leg lifts, you name it, I felt better and stronger for having done them. I think about how many people before me have trained on the same equipment, done the same exercises and followed the same plan to become the best gladiators they could be and now I was following in their footsteps (or in this case, lunges).

Does it sound hokey, sure. But if you watch that show you will understand that the ground on which they train is sacred to them. It is where blood and sweat meet with legend and that it’s an honor to train at this gladiator school. After completing these past two sessions I feel the same way. I may ache today but my body and mind are better for having done it, the gym an honored training ground (ok, minus the blood but there was sweat and lots of it).

As part of that training here is what was prescribed in my meal plan and actually what I did:

Meal 1 ½ Grapefruit and 3 Egg Whites (instead of egg whites I had egg substitute and a clementine orange)

Meal 2 1 ½ Whole Wheat Pasta, Can Tuna, Balsamic Dressing (I didn’t have this at all, instead opting for a simple cup of cereal and milk. It’s what I felt like having at the time)

Meal 3 6 oz. Yam, 4 oz. Turkey, 3 cups of cauliflower (I did have the turkey, and instead of yams and cauliflower I had broccoli)

Meal 4 2 Yogurts (I totally had these)

Meal 5 8 oz. Pork Chops, 3 Cups Mushrooms, Salad (I replaced this meal with slices of ham and brussel sprouts along with a diet iced tea from Wawa and a diet ginger ale)

In the show, when the gladiators train, they always mention weaknesses. In the arena, if an opponent sees them they are exploited. My weaknesses are snacking. Even though I snacked on yogurts, cheese sticks and Jello packs I need to curtail them, too. They are my weaknesses and I know it.

Today is Saturday, and at least in New Jersey it’s going to be a glorious day somewhere around 70-degrees. As I wrap up today’s writing here’s what’s on today’s menu:

Meal 1 Oatmeal (I’ve already replaced this with cereal for this morning)

Meal 2 String Cheese and Yogurt

Meal 3 Lean Cuisine (Glazed chicken or Herb Roasted Chicken)

Meal 4 Apple with Peanut Butter

Meal 5 Steak, String Beans and Salad

Also, I can’t wait to get outside and get to the gym. It may not be under the watchful gaze of my instructor but the training stays with you. It keeps you motivated. It keeps you going. It keeps you moving forward so that when you’re there, alone, working out you can see your potential self. I am one of the cheesiest people I know but I swear to you when I am done with a good workout all I want to to is throw my hands in the air and scream…wait for it…

…I AM SPARTACUS!

Hey there, my friends. I hope you guys had a great weekend. What did I do? I shoveled snow and watched this little, itty-bitty football game that was on yesterday (actually mostly for the commercials).

I was going to blog today about the commercials I liked best which, in my opinion, were the Doritos commercials. I thought they were clever, funny and memorable. Even in the commercial where the guys in the gym caught Doritos in the neck I thought they did a good job, through use of color, of making me almost taste the damn things. Yes, they worked. They made me want Doritos. Made me munch on the little orange cheddary bastards. But did I have any? No (thank God). I would have been munching on them all night.

Instead I wanted to blog about a disturbing letter I received from someone. This person is going to remain anonymous but their letter struck such chords in me I thought I’d share a couple of key (yet still all-encompassing) feelings I thought would be helpful as we all get back to our weight loss routines after Super Bowl Sunday.

This person fears becoming fat, even though they are not that overweight comparatively speaking to many of us. Why? Because of how one of their parents used to put down the other for being overweight. And to add salt to this already open wound, this person knows their spouse hates overweight people (and so do that spouse’s friends) adding to this fear of being or becoming fat and, therefore, makes this person feel self-conscious, shunned, put down and ashamed for any weight they gain.

I told this person the following things:

The spouse sounds like a selfish, judgmental taker, and that is wrong.  Just because negative opinions about overweight people are prevalent in today’s world (from the fashion world, magazines, TV, you name it) doesn’t mean anyone should put up with it. I’m just gonna throw that out there.

Also, people who judge people because they are fat suck, make us sad and make us want to eat even more. But even so, you have to try to learn, as I did, not to care what others think. This is key. You have to love yourself to take care of yourself first and foremost and do for you what you have never done before. Say NO, ENOUGH. and NO MORE. I WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOUR WORDS ANYMORE.

I am so not a psychologist/psychiatrist so what I am saying is just me offering my opinion and I always beg people to consider talking to a professional to help them with their emotional circumstances.

Again this all comes down to you being happy, especially in weight loss. I lost weight because I wanted to do this for ME and you will lose those pounds, too, but if and only if  you do it for YOURSELF and not for your friends, spouse or ghosts of your parents’ harsh words.

I hope my words help. At least help you to know you have people out there who know what being put down feels like, and who are wiling to listen, share and offer what you NEED to hear. The world is filled with mean, hateful and spiteful people with preconceived notions of why people are heavy. Screw them! They are the ones who are deficient and insecure.

For we are beautiful even if we are heavy and like Doritos from time to time.

Yesterday, I received a powerful e-mail from a new visitor to the website, Steve, who found it thanks to the wonderful article on yours truly from Monday’s Philadelphia Inquirer and Philly.com. What made his letter powerful is that he’s in the same boat now that I was in back in 2005 when I weighed over 400 lbs. After writing back to Steve I got to thinking about my own past and started looking at older pictures of the “before” me. I don’t know why, I just did.

Wow. That’s all I have to say. I took a long hard look at those photos and video and saw a guy who was really freaking unhappy. I let so many pounds accumulate that, when I watched me, I felt like I was still there but under a fat suit made up of food and some pretty strong emotions. It was hard to watch but a good way to not only remember how far I’ve come but a powerful motivator for me not ever going back again.

Steve and I really are in the same boat and I know exactly how he feels, as we all do struggling with weight and food.  It does do a mind job on you. But first and foremost all of us have to stop beating ourselves up and let it go. Whatever weight you are today is your starting weight. That is where you’ll begin and that’s what you need to focus on.

Bad food habits are hard to unlearn. Believe me when I tell you that. They really are. Like you guys I looooooooove great foods and loooooooooove eating them even more. BUT THERE COMES A TIME YOU SIMPLY MUST MAKE A CHOICE: DO YOU WANT TO BE THINNER OR KEEP EATING AS MUCH AS YOU DO? You must cut down on the amount of food you eat. I have lost weight just cutting back on the amount of foods I eat and exercising. I never (repeat NEVER) cut out completely eating the foods I love. You must also learn to love yourself more than food. You MUST love yourself everyday at a 10.

Most of all, my friends, you must be ready to do something you’ve never done before. Put yourself first, forgive yourself and love yourself. You will find I am just like you guys going through the same food temptations every single day. But every single day I, too, make the conscious choices to NOT have certain things – like too many Cokes, or too much Chinese food, so I can again see my goal weight realized.

Even though this week is flying by you remember you can start any day you wish. It doesn’t have to be a Monday, or the first of the month. You just need to do it.  We are in this together, whether it is with weight loss or maintenance. And I will always be here to lend an ear and whatever advice I can.

And as I told my new friend, Steve, have a wonderful day and make DAY ONE of the new you a great and special one.

Cheers!

Bill