Determined To Succeed

Day eighty-six.

Alrighty then. Let’s start today with a recap of yesterday…

…I was up to 241.3. I was grumpy about it. I wanted to workout. I was gonna eat better and lighter. I was gonna do a food journal again.

Of all of that here is what I did do…

…I ended up not working out because I spent way too much time setting up a new computer at home (stupid internet…I almost broke it again) but I did eat much better yesterday. I started with two slices of cinnamon toast with butter. Then for lunch I had one grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup (awesome for a chilly fall day AND the heaviest meal). For dinner I had one (just one) cajun chicken breast, couscous and broccoli. For snacks I had a banana and some homemade trail mix (walnuts, craisins, pumpkin seeds and raisins). I kept myself to one soda (a diet root beer) and just one large glass of orange juice. Not too shabby, actually given how I have been eating lately and today I’ve already had my toast with a small glass of o.j.

Today, I am down ever so slightly. I am at 241.1 (hell, it’s better being two ounces down than up) and I am looking forward to eating much lighter again today. I wish I could say I am going to eat like a bird but birds actually eat (or try to eat) a helluva lot in the course of a day compared to their body weight. So I will just say I will try to eat extremely lightly today and not eat like the little winged ones swooping in and out of view looking for yummy morsels of grub on this chilly Fall day.

It’s hard, though. With the change in season and change in temperature to eat lighter. I don’t know about you but when the temperatures drop I think of hearty soups and stews and heavier meals that stick to your ribs, not salads and things. I do, however, have to do my best to remember that Fall and Winter, especially are dangerous times for me when it comes to eating. Not because it triggers anything emotional, but because it activates that basic human need to store-up for the winter and to eat then hibernate like your average bear (or just curl up on the couch and become a potato).

Yeah, it’s hard but it has to be done. Ground is always gained and lost in the battle of the bulge and in weight loss but it can be won even during the colder months. We (and I) just have to stick to it and be much better about everything all around – eating and exercising. I need to do that every single day, not just today. And speaking of today it’s election day across the country and no matter whether you’re Republican or Democrat, liberal or conservative I encourage you to get out and vote.  This way you not only do your civic duty but it gets you up and out (if you have elections in your area) and gets you moving.

Last night “Star Wars Episode One: The Phantom Menace” was on TV and even though the film is awful (yes, me, a huge Star Wars fan saying a Star Wars film is awful) there are bits that are cool, like when Palpatine says wityh utmost certainty “I will be chancelor.” Well, with the same conviction I say I will re-lose this weight. As sure as Anakin Skywalker became Darth Vader, and eventually returned to the good side of the Force again, I will lose weight.

So until tomorrow, my friends. Stay strong and be well. We will make it. You’ll see.

Sunday morning. The sun, the universe’s absolute alarm clock, shines through the window with far more affective result than my actual electronic alarm clock which had been broadcasting news, sports and weather at least thirty minutes before I even realized it. “Time to get your lazy butt up,” says the sun as if it knows the last thing I want to do today is get up. Because what does getting up mean? I have to exercise, that’s what. Something my body, mind and blood just don’t want to do today.

I slowly sit up and turn my back to the window (sometimes the only effective “shut off” button to the sun’s bright alarm) and get my bearings. I am not hungover. I am just fatigued. I so don’t want to get up this morning. In my sleepy, groggy haze I think of a sci-fi way to have a snooze button on the sun – sending it back down for another ten minutes so I can catch more z’s.

But sitting a mere six feet from me are my perky sneakers, already awake and already to adorn my feet as we head to the gym. In the movies my sneakers would be that stereotypical “Odd Couple” miss-matched dorm roommate who keeps his side of the place neat and clean and dust-free (a sort of Felix Unger to my sleepy, lazy Oscar Madison) who’s telling me “rise and shine, sleepyhead.” But how can I throw a shoe at my roommate to get him to leave me alone when the roommate, itself, is a shoe? Grrrrrrr.

“Ok. I’m up. I’m up.” I mumble in a slightly gruffy, aggravated tone. My sneakers are still staring at me wondering when we’re going out. My sleepy imagination has shifted them slightly and they are now like a puppy who wants his owner to throw on the leash and take him for a brisk, energetic and happy walk. A brisk, energetic and happy walk the owner doesn’t want to do, opting instead for just a few more minutes under the covers.

But the shoes are waiting.

I scratch my head and shake myself more awake, and in my new morning coherence I look at my shoes – that anxious puppy, that perky roommate – and I realize both are correct. It’s time to start the day. It’s time to get my lazy butt moving.

These extra pounds can’t be wished away, no matter how strong we Jedi think we are with the Force. Pounds can only come off with better diet (and I was better yesterday having my Lean Cuisine for dinner) and exercise. Ooooh, there’s that word again, like the sun shining brightly on your face as you try to eke out five more minutes of sleep. It’s time to get my lazy butt moving.

I’m awake now and my lazy butt is moving. A few minutes ago I didn’t want to get out of bed, but in an hour from now I will be transformed into that anxious puppy or perky roommate because my blood will then be pumping. I will be psyched because, hopefully, I will see results on my scale. I will feel energized to do the laundry and shopping I have to do today. I will know I have taken care of myself and walked that much further on my weight loss journey.

And all of it because I  put on my anxious, perky shoes and went to the ever-waiting but ever helpful gym where I am sure I will see at least a few more sleepy people who woke up, like I did, to the universe’s ultimate alarm clock telling them to get their lazy butts to the gym, too.

You guys remember Joan Rivers? Before she started doing those abysmal, tragically bad red carpet “interviews” and looking like the Joker in the Batman movies she used to be a half-way decent stand-up comedienne. I remember her bits from the early-to-mid-80s and one of her signature lines was: “can we talk here?” It didn’t matter about what she would talk after delivering that line, it was simply the tag line itself that made you feel a part of the in-crowd and in on the joke – the way a good joke should be. You were her friend and she was talking to you.

Over the past few days my weight has crept back up into the 238’s and it’s kind of bumming me out. I know I will re-lose the weight, it’s just that I want to re-reach 225lbs so bad I can – wait for it – taste it (hell, at least I keep my sense of humor about it all). And being in the 238’s I can feel my clothes get that-much tighter which only means I need to get that-much more diligent both in the gym and with eating.

With the weekend gone I did far better yesterday than Friday through Sunday. I had fruit, cheese and coffee for breakfast, a small helping of chicken for lunch and a sandwich for dinner. I also worked out yesterday, choosing to do more cardio to get myself back into the routine of exercise. And, my friends, today will be no different. I am back on track and I feel it thanks to a couple of wonderful reminders – the clementine oranges I love so much and springtime daffodils.

I can hear you guys now. “What the heck is he smoking? Daffodils and oranges? Jeez. This weight loss thing has really affected his brain today.” Well, while I cannot attest to how much of my brain is actually used on a daily basis (I was quite the under-achiever in school) I can assure you my brain has not gone the way of Julius Ceasar. At least not just yet. Let me explain…

For me, there are three reasons why clementine oranges are the perfect snack. One, the easy-to-peel and wonderfully sweet orange provides you with something on which to chew especially when you want that sensation of really munching on something (as opposed to yogurt). Two, it’s full of wonderful juice which quenches thirst and provides something sweet to “drink” especially when they are chilled in the fridge. Three, it’s seedless and portable, so you can take it anywhere and not worry about eating it. Just peel one and pop it into your mouth. We do that with candy bars so why not fruit?

Daffodils herald springtime. They are a beautiful and fragrant flowers and these small flowers are sometimes called in French “tete-a-tete” daffodils, or “head-to-head” daffodils. Why? Because if you look at them, I mean really look at them, they look like they are having a conversation, one leaning over to the other asking “can we talk here?”

I feel that way when I sit to write this weight loss blog. I feel like I’m talking with you. Talking with you guys is absolutely wonderful and what I need on some days to keep myself motivated on this weight loss journey. And you have no idea how much our talks help me to get back on track, reminding me to eat those delicious clementines and make the decisions to put down the bad snacks and embrace the good ones (this time, I will NOT make a “Star Wars” light side/dark side of the Force reference. Well, THIS TIME anyway).

Even if you think I’m loopy you’ve all heard the expression “taking time to smell the roses,” right? Well, today, take the time and smell some of the spring flowers blooming right about now. They, too, serve as wonderful reminders that we are all in this together, especially when we need that little extra push – that spark of positive energy – to keep us going forward when we’re bummed out about a few extra pounds here and there that we know, after a bit of time and attention, will be gone.

It will come as no surprise to anyone who reads me regularly to know I love “The Empire Strikes Back,” the second film of the “real” “Star Wars” trilogy (the prequels really don’t count and suck anyway). Anywho, in “The Empire Strikes Back” Luke Skywalker is instructed by Yoda, the wise 900-yeasr-old Jedi master, who teaches the kid a thing or two about how to use the Force. Then, when a challenge arises, Luke looks to Yoda and says simply “Unlearn what you have learned.”

I always think about that phrase when dealing with weight loss. Over the three-and-a-half years it took to lose weight and the roughly year-and-a-half I have kept it off (for the most part) I have learned many things that I have used to not only get me through but also offer as advice nuggets (like Chicken McNuggets except better and healthier for you) to those looking for ways to lose weight. But yesterday I was that young Jedi Knight trying to unlearn and put to use the pearls of wisdom imparted to me by Jorge, the personal trainer I saw a couple of weeks ago. So I went to the gym yesterday and started my workout.

Before I begin I feel compelled to say to consult a doctor or personal trainer before attempting any of the exercises I describe in this blog, as they might be strenuous and not suitable for all to do.

One of the things I’ve learned is that cardio exercises, like the elliptical or a treadmill, burn calories but also burn oxygen. However the best way to burn fat is to incorporate weight training into a routine. So I started with shoulder shrugs. Taking a heavy 50-pound dumbbells into each hand I simply shrugged, imitating the “duh, I don’t know” movement we all do from time to time. Except this time I had weight resistance working out my shoulders and back at the same time.

I then switched out to a lighter weight (ten pounds) and did lifts. Placing one knee on a workout bench and anchoring myself with the hand of the same side I took the weight in the opposite hand and lifted it so that my elbow, which is supposed to do all the lifting, came to a 90-degree angle. Then, I slowly let the weight down swinging the dumbbell in front of me like the arm of a grandfather clock. I repeated that ten times then switched sides.

Immediately following that I did the “Superman,” and exercise where the person lays on the floor, arms extended, like Superman and lifts both the front end of their body and legs which works out the back muscles. Oh God, is this difficult but I did manage ten of these before moving on to the next thing, which were lunges.

This seemingly simple exercise, where the participant takes a giant step forward with one leg and stretches out the other behind, uses your leg muscles in ways that really make you feel it, and boy did I feel it. I did twenty of these in the gym. Jorge said to extend my leg so far I could see my toes in front of me when I stepped forward. Well, doing that makes it far more difficult but that also makes it work the legs better. Ouch, but good.

In-between each different exercise I hopped onto the treadmill and did a quick our minutes just to get my heart rate up, which is what Jorge said to do. So I did. It’s not what I’m used to since most of my exercises were cardio in nature but I did it. I kept going, moving from one thing to the next – weighted leg lifts, tummy crunches, weights, push-ups and more – in rapid succession so my body didn’t have time to adjust to the routine, burning more fat (I hope) in the process.

When I was done I sat in the steamroom (my favorite activity) and thought about not just the workout but HOW I worked out. I thought about how many more muscles I used and hoped it did me well in losing more weight and burning more fat. Most of all I thought about Yoda, wondering if he would stand there looking at his Jedi trainee with satisfaction or with disappointment as he did Luke when he tried to “unlearn what he had learned.”

But then I thought of something else Yoda said that can be applied to all of us trying to lose weight, keep it off and exercise as part of a new and better lifestyle. Yoda says “do or do not. There is no try.” And so we shall, doing what we can where we can and knowing something, anything, is better than doing nothing. And that doing something brings us one step closer to those weight loss goals and to being our own personal weight loss Jedi Knights.