Determined To Succeed

Day sixty-five.

Damn Tom Selleck! I never thought I’d hear those words come out of my mouth (well, typed on my computer) but there they are. I know you must be asking why I am damning “Magnum P.I.” so I will tell you why. Because he is so damned convincing in his “drink orange juice” spiel that I did…a whole half-gallon of it last night. That’s right. I consumed an entire half-gallon of orange juice. Ugh. I feel so wasted.

My fascination with orange juice probablygoes back to me being a kid. My mom, JoAnn Larson, and I went to our local Walgreens which, back then, had a diner attached. Well, I thought I was the shit when she ordered coffee for herself and an “O.J. on the rocks” for me. Me, her son! She ordered what sounded so grown up and exotic that I was beside myself. Then, when I got it and realized it was orange juice on ice I loved it just the same, and have ever since. And yes, on “the rocks.”

So last night I satisfied my craving for Italian food (being that it was Columbus Day) with a delicious baked ziti and Italian sausage. It was absolutely delicious but when I looked in the fridge for something with which to wash it down I saw the “tower of power,” the unopened carton of orange juice. Knowing that I have something of an orange juice craving I promised myself I’d just have two glasses (two small glasses that is). However that went out of the window so fast I could barely see it. What started out as two quickly became six-and-a-half glasses (all with ice) and before I knew it I finished the container.

“DAMN!” I thought to myself as I angrily shoved the now-empty container into the trash bin. “I shouldn’t have had all that O.J.” I went to sulk on the couch, watch “The Event” and promptly fell asleep afterward. I was in a self-induced food coma and O.J. “drunk.” I woke up this morning a full pound over where I was yesterday and I am soooooooo not pleased. Not one bit.

Damn you, Tom Selleck.

O.K., I can’t really blame Magnum for my “drinking problem.” Despite the fact I’ve been doing really well staying away from regular Coca-Cola, orange juice will always be my downfall. I even looked up how much I drank. I consumed the entire carton of Minute Maid no pulp orange juice, which contains eight 8-ounce servings, each with 110 calories each. Yep, that means I drank 64-ounces of orange juice and 880 calories – JUST BY DRINKING. Grrrrrrr.

I know I know better but it does just go to show (and show me) we need to watch the calories we drink. I am still in shock over the whole thing. Of course there are things in the world that are so much worse that drinking that much O.J., but watching my weight and calories and what I ingest is critical to not only my health but my future. It is at once both health-related and economic (since I didn’t spread out that purchase over several meals as I should have). And can I just mention my weight again…

Well, as I am always fond of saying (and believing) today is another day and a chance to right the wrongs of yesterday. Addictive patterns run deep in me, that much is for sure, especially with food and drink and I am the first to admit I am addicted to food and not in very good ways. But I will pick myself up again and keep moving forward. I will get to the gym today and workout. I will NOT consume as much as I did yesterday. I will be better. I have to be, especially since the guy who originally was chosen to play Indiana Jones is telling me to drink 100% pure orange juice…

…with credentials like that, his smoking of cigars aside for the moment, how could “Magnum P.I.”  be wrong?

Day forty-six.

You ever get a “wild hair?” That urge so strong to do something that it just takes over your actions until it comes to fruition? Well, these past weeks, which have been the most mentally healthy of my life, I have had a few wild hairs come across my mind to do, most notably the wild hairs to clean, to workout and to cook.

Take, for instance, last night. I had a wild hair to cook and cook Italian. I just had to smell garlic, tomatoes and onions saute in a pan with some olive oil. I don’t know why but I did. I wanted to feel like a chef, I guess, filling the house with the aroma of food being prepared. I love standing at the counter chopping vegetables and heating up a pan and throwing them in even though it’s hot as hell in the kitchen. Now, because I didn’t take all day to prepare a true “gravy” I used my saute to doctor some already made sauce (a sin, I know, but I will make a better “gravy” soon). Then I topped it off with a nice slices of Italian sausage. Damn, that was tasty and I ate only one portion. Now it was a slightly bigger portion than I should have had but the important thing is that there are leftovers and I stopped myself from eating more, and that’s a great thing.

I have also been finding I love doing things where I invest a bit of sweat-equity in myself. I love going to the gym and working out like I have these past few days. I love doing a half-hour on my elliptical, shadowboxing, roundhouse kicks, tricep dips (since I am still trying to put ammo in my “guns”), push-ups…the whole lot. I love going to my mixed martial arts class and having the sweat drip onto the mat (that’s an honor, by the way).  Most of all, I love seeing the numbers on my scale sloooooooly decrease (I am at 238.5 today) as I work toward re-reaching my goal of 225. And did I mention I can’t wait to workout again today?

Finally, I have really enjoyed the cleaning wild hair. I am just digging through crap and purging things I truly don’t need and finding out how much, well, crap there really was. This is mainly due to the work I have been doing mentally and emotionally. I purging crap there, too. That is how you know good work is being done – when you can get down to the core of the matter and see what caused X, Y and Z which helps you with A, B and C. And did you guys know hoarding is a way of dealing with abandonment issues? I sure as hell didn’t until my therapist told me. But it makes all the sense in the world.Also, as I get down to things and purge I find it is helping me not binge eat, too. So amazing how that all ties together.

Well, all I can say is that these wild hairs have been most beneficial to me lately. They are part of the stuff helping make me an evolving and better man, one who is changing a little bit every day to be healthier. And it’s certainly working for my weight loss, too. Not only am I cooking more these days but I’m curbing my consumption levels again (which is helping bring that weight down more and more) AND saving a shitload of money in the process. Amazing what NOT eating out all the time can do, eh?

Well, that’s all I got for today. A short and sweet blog to help keep you going. Oh, and if you get one of those wild hairs to take time for yourself, listen to them and do them. You won’t be sorry because nothing feels as good as when you are working on you for a change.

If you ever find yourself in New York City head on over to Greenwich Village. Nestled within it’s eclectic streets is a wonderful little Italian restaurant called Palma. It was there I had one of the best meals I’ve had in a long time.

It started with cheesy artichoke appetizers, fried cheese balls, meatballs (the best appetizer of the bunch) and roasted cauliflower. Great tasting but other places have served fried cheese balls before.

But then I had a culinary revelation, the reason I am making this “worth the splurge.” I was next treated to a sampling fresh ravioli pasta stuffed with both butternut squash and Bolognese “gravy.” Each one was out of this world. These little pasta delights (you get about 5 ravioli per plate) is well worth the calories. The tastes of the Bolognese inside the pasta topped off with a cheesier sauce was incredible.

Finally, for dessert (or desert as it as printed on the receipt after) I tasted a creme brûlée made with figs and a ricotta cheesecake. Decadent, amazing and worth every calorie.

Like I’ve said before eating like this is a treat, to be sure. But if you find yourself in an “Empire State of Mind” check out the ravioli at Palma. You won’t regret it.