Determined To Succeed

Happy New Year, my friends, and happy day one-hundred-forty-nine.

I know I haven’t written in such a long while (two weeks to be exact) and I’m so sorry about that. The sad truth is I fell off the radar because I fell off the wagon a bit partially because I had to take it easy recouping from my diverticulosis (which meant not exercising as much) and partially because, well, I grew lazy and ate more than I should. I know better, I really do, but having my hospital stay take place over the holiday, with all of its foods and trappings, made even maintaining my weight a challenge. But I am happy to say that today I stepped on the scale and am down a pound-and-a-half from the last time I wrote (my weight today is 247.2) and I am ready to kick this new year’s ass in terms of getting back to my weight loss goal.

For those of you old enough to remember the original “Battlestar Galactica” TV show I remind myself of the Lorne Green voice-over during the opening to the show which told of how Commander Adama and his rag-tag fugitive fleet of refugee ships was trying to make it home to a shining planet known as Earth. I am also reminded of the old Japanese anime TV show called “Star Blazers” in which the protagonists are counting down the days they have because they only have a year to get back to Earth to defend it against some-such this or that (if I am remembering it correctly). In both cases, and I am sure many more, the good guys in those shows are always on the journey to reach something, whether that is a destination like Earth, a thing like a precious gem or trying to beat time. Well, my friends, on this fourth day of the year I feel I am doing all of the above.

I have been fighting this battle of the bulge all my life but trying to re-re-re-lose these last twenty (now twenty-two) pounds has been the goal since I regained that weight when my mom, JoAnn Larson, died. I have gotten to within a few pounds then it all seemed to go to hell. But just four days into the new year I am chucking my aspirations to lose that weight in with the rest of everyone who is looking at the new year for a chance to begin again. I will take that chance, thank you very much, and raise you many more things to do. let me explain…

…A while back I wrote you guys in this blog and told you all about a list of 40 things I wanted to do now that I reached the awesome age of 40, my 40/40 list. That’s right, I am embracing not only the fact I have turned 40 but that I am no longer wasting time. This year is only 4 days old and I have already knocked a couple of things off my list. O.K., they might be easier to do than others but it is something. So, here is my list (even though I’ve come up with 28 or so). I intend for them to be done from now until December 31, 2011. Here they are with more to come (as I think of them – it‘s hard to think of 40 things):

Day twenty-three.

“Ugh.” That’s all I have to say. I am finally up and around today after having a massive allergy attack last night. You know the kind I mean. The ones where you sneeze yourself into a headache (where you can’t stop sneezing at all), where your eyes are all puffy, throat is all drippy and nothing seems to help much. So I say again, “ugh!” Although, and on a positive note,  I did alright food-wise having had a great homemade beef stew. Not only that but only having an appropriate portion of it, too. This way I have lunch AND dinner tonight as well. Awesome.

It just sucks ass when your sick. That sneezing, head-achy allergy attack turned into something of a summer cold and my throat is dry and hurting today. Now, the good news about all that is that I do not feel like eating. The bad news is I don’t feel much like doing anything today except, well, laying around saying “ugh.”

Let’s talk for a moment about the virtues of lying on one’s couch flipping channels. You get to catch up on talk shows, game shows and “reality” TV (reality is in quotes because, if you know anything about TV, there ain’t much of it that’s real. It’s contrived and staged with heroes, villains and victims just like scripted TV shows). Or, you get to catch up on a good book or a few movies, whether they’re on cable or in your DVD cue. You get to curl up with one of the best inventions ever – the heating pad – and just be a slug, allowing your body to get the rest it needs to get better.

Now, let’s talk about the bad parts of just lying around. Nothing gets done. Not work, exercise, errands, exercise, laundry, exercise, cleaning and, most of all, exercise (did I mention that already?). And when you do flip channels you realize that the only thing on the tele is crap because 90% of the country is at work so they put on reruns of crap, marathons of whichever “Housewives of” show is being aired and show you what antics Snooki and Jwoww are up to at the “Jersey Shore.” And never mind the fact cable, especially premium channels, are running the same three movies ALL THE TIME. I mean seriously, how many times can the Decepticons take revenge against the Autobots while Shia LaBeouf yells “no, no, no, no, no, no!”

So there’s my catch 22. Rest or push myself. The fact of the matter with me is that I do embrace being sick, I do, and I am content with lying around putting up with bad TV and excessive reruns if it gets me better faster so I can rejoin life. But with these extra pounds to lose I am torn. I wish I could sneeze them out and throw them away in little wadded-up balls of tissue. But I can’t. It takes work, work (and workouts) that I have almost zero energy for today.

So maybe I will compromise with myself. I will get going and do some work and maybe, MAYBE, if I am up to it, go for a walk later. At least that will be something. And it might do me well to get out for a bit and let the hot end-of-summer air work its magic on my nostrils and nasal cavities. That sounds good, but then again so does my couch. Alright, alright, I will get up though and do something to start.

Thanks for listening to me rant today. Being in a weight loss struggle ain’t easy, especially when you’re sick. But good and bad, we are in this together. Hopefully, I will be better enough to kick the bag decently tomorrow in martial arts class. Hell, even the energy for that walk today would be good. But no matter what, I am just thankful to be here, present and sober today. And sick or not, that is an amazing feeling, even when you start the day saying “ugh.”