Determined To Succeed

Remember the glory days of school field trips? Oh, they were awesome. You were in home room and your teacher announced that the class was going to take a field trip to (insert museum, institution or performing arts center of your choice here). She/he handed out the requisite permission slips and it was like getting a free plane ticket. At least it was for me. It meant I got a chance to get out of the classroom and see something else. And one of the trips I remember was to the Art Institute of Chicago.

You’ve heard me talk about this place before and how it houses my favorite painting in the world (Paris Street: Rainy Day by French artist Gustave Caillebotte) but I distinctly remember my field trip to the Art Institute for another reason. The first time I saw naked people and not just any naked people, naked women. And not just naked women but beautiful, full-figured Rubenesque women with not only ample bosom and hips but also of, in some cases rolls of pudge and cellulite.

They were some of the most beautiful paintings I had (and have) ever seen.

My mom had always told me, even when I was a boy, the human body was nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about and here in this museum was the proof. Thanks to the art and influence of  Peter Paul Rubens we got to see “real” women, full-bodied women, voluptuous and zaftig who were painted as beautiful subjects full of life, ripeness and sensuality.

Now where in the hell did society go wrong? When did we go from seeing beautiful women of curves transformed into heroin-chic stick figures whom the fashion industry considers “beautiful.” For the life of me I can’t imagine why these women (and men) would be any more attractive naked than the Rubenesque women portrayed in the paintings I saw in the museum.

The Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines naked in several ways after the customary 1) not covered by clothing: nude definition. The most interesting definitions, however, are the following:

3 a : scantily supplied or furnished b : lacking embellishment : unadorned

4 : unarmed, defenseless

5 : lacking confirmation or support

6 : devoid of concealment or disguise

7 : unaided by any optical device or instrument <the naked eye>

Fascinating. Absolutely fascinating that naked is exactly how people of size can feel when standing in front of the mirror at home. We lack embellishment standing there with our Rubenesque rolls (a.k.a. love handles, cellulite and pudge) staring back at us defenseless and vulnerable. It is a naked feeling to do this. Add to that the lacking of confirmation and support from society, the fashion, television and movie industries, etc., and we do truly feel naked. And it is because we cannot disguise or conceal our “ample size” we don’t show our legs or arms in shorts or tank tops. That is why we stay away from the beach in the summer. That is why I don’t wear shorts (that, and my varicose veins in my right leg). To the naked eye we are considered not Rubenesque we are just considered plain old fat.

Our days are getting warmer which means our clothes are getting thinner. They cannot conceal our figures. And that is OK. When we are naked we truly feel naked, and there isn’t a damn person I know at least who is completely 100% happy with everything their body has going on. So do not be embarrassed or ashamed about your bodies. They are yours and if you are on a weight loss journey they’re what you have to work with. You are doing your best to make them smaller, weigh less and become leaner. I know I am. But when I stand in front of the mirror every day I see my fat and extra skin from losing weight. Yep, I do. But it’s then that the words of my mom come back to me…

“…son, the human body is nothing to be ashamed about. It is beautiful.”

As I think of my mama more and more as Mother’s Day approaches I share with you her wisdom and lesson she imparted to me. Be proud of your naked body. It is not something to hide. While we may have extra rolls and skin we don’t want we are no less attractive and just every bit as sexy naked as those damned “high-fashion” models in the magazines…

…and every bit as beautiful as the model in the recent Lane Bryant television ad and the Rubenesque naked people depicted in some of my favorite paintings in my favorite art museum in the entire world. And if a little tubby kid from the South Side of Chicago can take that with him from one field trip and have it stay with him, there’s hope for humanity yet.

Do you guys ever watch Fox’s “Family Guy” TV show? Not only is it consistently funny but it has, pound for pound, the most references to pop culture of any show ever. And as its male “lead” Peter Griffin would say – “that’s freakin’ sweet!”

There was an episode a few years back where Peter, fed up with some such thing I can’t remember in my sleepy haze,” gets his own segment of the evening news called “What Grinds My Gears,” a segment where Peter just goes off on his idiotic rants about everything from people in the 19^th century to Lindsay Lohan.

Last night as I watched “Family Guy” I got to thinking about something that really, AND ABSOLUTELY TRUTHFULLY, grinds my gears – prejudice. It comes in all shapes and sizes, figuratively and literally, and is alive and well and living on network television. Yes, you may or may not be aware of this but while sitting and watching some of your favorite shows like “Dancing with the Stars” or “American Idol” you see (or in this case don’t see) the results of prejudice – prejudice against people of size. Yep, what “grinds my gears” are the networks who show my favorite shows (“V,” “Flash Forward” and ironically “Family Guy”) actually turned away a Lane Bryant ad because it was deemed “too racy.”

This past week the Columbus, Ohio-based clothing retailer charged that ABC and FOX rejected a commercial for its new Cacique lingerie line because of a bias against plus-sized women. The ad features size-16 New York fashion model Ashley Graham enjoying feeling sexy inside a hotel room in her Lane Byrant bra and panties, receiving text messages and arranging a “nooner,” a lunchtime naughty “rendezvous” with a lover. The company wanted to place the ad on ABC’s “Dancing with the Stars” and FOX’s “American Idol.”  However, ABC refused to show the commercial during “Dancing with the Stars” without restricting the spot to the final (least-watched) moments of the show,” and Fox demanded excessive re-edits and rebuffed it three times before relenting to air it during the final 10 minutes of “American Idol,” but only after we threatened to pull the ad buy.

As Peter Griffin would say, “Are you freakin’ kidding me?”

According to ABC Vice President Julie Hoover. “We were willing to accommodate them (Lane Bryant), but they chose to seek publicity.” And I am so glad they did.  It’s hard enough in this word to be big as it is. However, without publicity, how can we know how people of size are treated in the consumer world?

Take director Kevin Smith’s recent woes aboard a Southwest Airline plane. Even though Smith acknowledge it was his wanting to take an earlier flight (one on which he purchased two seats) he was booted from a Southwest flight because he was allegedly deemed to large to fly “comfortably” in one seat. The situation may have died down since February but was, until now, the most recent (read, most visible) example of a (no pun intended) growing intolerance against people of size. If it wasn’t for the fact of his celebrity and his widely-read blog this situation would never have been known and brought into the light.

The same thing holds true for the Lane Bryant ad. Why does Lane Bryant have to extensively have to re-edit their ad (which is embedded here for you to see) when Victoria’s Secret runs ads that can be viewed as way racier? After learning about this prejudice I purposely watched spots for both and the Victoria Secret ad shows way more skin on way more women. It just so happens that those women are thin while the beautiful, full-figured model in the Lane Bryant ad is a size 16 – WHICH AIN’T THAT BIG TO BEGIN WITH!!!!!

Graham, in the New York Post, said she was shocked to learn the networks couldn’t and wouldn’t handle her ad. “I was very surprised,” she said. “The first thing I thought of was Victoria’s Secret commercials, and how they’re just as racy, if not more racy, than Lane Bryant.[The models are] just a lot smaller than what I am. They can’t handle bigger on TV, bigger boobs on a normal-sized woman on TV.”

That sucks. Why do I bring this up today? It’s not because I wanted to talk about scantily-clad women prancing around in underwear (well, OK. Maybe a little) It’s because we are heading into the weekend, prime shopping time for most people. It’s on my mind because people of size are beautiful, no matter the package in which they’re wrapped. We shop, we go out to eat, we see movies and we have feelings. We, too, like to see people like us on TV, both in shows and in ads, because we are a part of society. Some of us might be on a weight loss journey, and I fully recognize what got me to be 400 pounds was my own fault – overeating and lack of exercise – but that doesn’t mean we have to be re-edited and shuttled to the “back of the bus” in a TV show’s time slot because some of us are more “real” than the skinny so-and-sos in a Vicky’s Secret ad. Further, why can’t we be “normal characters” in ads or on shows – those who have just as much drama, laughter, sex and life – just like the thinner main characters on shows? We always seem, more times than not, to be the non-sexual, non-threatening comic relief in movies and shows. That sucks, and I, for one, am sick of it.

A Fox representative told AOL’s PopEater blog that the network did “balk at airing the Lane Bryant spot at 8 p.m. without edits,” but will air it uncut during the 9 p.m. hour of “American Idol” next week. Funny how it took some publicity to make them do this. Shame on you, Fox and ABC. That’s why I freaking “flash forward” through your commercials anyway.

We may be big but we sure as hell are beautiful. And good for Lane Bryant for sticking to it’s guns.

And that’s what “grinds my gears.” Back to you in the studio.