Determined To Succeed

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Day nineteen.

I woke up this morning and I cried. I cried because of the realization that I was finally becoming a whole person again. I cried because all those parts of me and my soul that had been scattered to the four winds (despair, shame, guilt and gluttony) have started coming back and are now a part of me again and for the first time in my recent memory I am here and present.

I can’t begin to tell you what it’s like having your soul, brain, heart and energy segmented like that.  Sad to say it is something you have to experience to know. To use a movie analogy it’s like being Voldemort from the Harry Potter books. In case you’ve been living under a rock, Voldemort uses physical objects to place parts of his soul so that, no matter what happens to his physical body, he can return. In that world it is the darkest, blackest magic there is. In this world, my world, it was the darkest and blackest my soul had ever been. It’s so bad that you put yourself aside for the drug. You do, and the motions you go through aren’t for you. They’re for the drug.

Being addicted to something – anything – means you not only get a high from it but you eventually start trading things, including pieces of your life and soul for it. If you know anyone who’s an addict they will tell you that. They will also tell you what withdrawl is like – that maddening craving for the drug when you ween yourself off of it. But what I am going through isn’t withdrawl, it’s reverse withdrawl.

I cried today because I really felt myself coming back together today. I felt the parts of my soul that had been gone for so long come back home. I watched the sun rise a bit this morning, listened to the birds sing their morning songs of hunger and felt myself take in such good, deep breaths that I felt almost overwhelmed. I felt heavier. Not just because I’ve been eating like a pig lately but because the best parts of me rejoined me. My mind wasn’t in one place while my soul was shoved away in a closet somewhere. I wasn’t spending my time being an addict and splitting my time, energies and self between so many different things. I was here again and I was at peace.

The last time I felt peace like that was when I sat with my mother, JoAnn Larson, as she lay dying from pancreatic cancer. I’ve said it before and I will say it again I know exactly how lucky a bastard I am because I was able to say to my mom “I love you, mama” and hear her say “I love you, too, son” back. Those were literally her last words to me. Those were literally her last words. After that she slipped further and further away until finally she became eternally free and healed from that terrible bitch disease. Those words brought me peace and they are what I held onto as her hand grew cold even as I held it watching her take her last breath on this earth.

Reclaiming what had been gone so long makes you heavier. I don’t know how but it does. They say when your spirit leaves your body you actually lose weight. Well, I now know what it’s like to breathe and live again. I was dying. Maybe not physically, but emotionally and spiritually. This morning, and these past few weeks, have all been part of a process I hope to and want to continue. I love this reverse withdrawl. It’s renewed my senses and it’s making me whole again.

I talk all the time about seeing the “promised land.” In the past I meant about weight loss and I still do. I lost the weight of a grown person and I will never, EVER regain it back because I knew I would be dead had I kept it. But I have also seen the “promised land” of what it’s like to crave something so much it takes over your life, and yes, that can be food, too. But I would try to save you that pain and have you learn from my experience to stay away from that rancid hell on earth.

No matter what your addiction you are worth so much more than that which drives you. Our souls must be one within ourselves to truly be alive and that cannot happen craving something else. Yesterday I made a kick-ass soup (the Delicious Bean Stew I listed the recipe for – it’s awesome, by the way). Today, Friday, and tomorrow, Saturday, I’m going to workout with my martial arts instructor, Doug Shaffer, and it’s going to feel great. I am going to see and talk with friends and I am gonna drive with the windows down to feel the warm air on my face. That is life, and I am embracing it again after such a long, long time.

If you are new to reading me, welcome. I truly appreciate you stopping by to check out this website to gain inspiration in your weight loss journey. I am still on that path and will forever be on that path with you. There are two parts of it, you know. Losing weight and keeping it off, the latter being the on-going, lifestyle-changing part. It may be rough, and I know it is, but there is a difference this time as there is now a difference in my life.

I am here and present, and when we can say that, and really and truly mean it, we can and will do anything because we have our lives back and finally back in our control. Have a great weekend.

Day eleven.

Yesterday I had a very interesting conversation with a friend of mine, Mike (not the same Mike about whom I’ve talked before, but a different one who lives closer) about who my male role models were in life and I really had to think about that one. Instantly, my mind jumped back to my father, Ivory, who I can only remember in bits and pieces because I was so young but who made a lasting impression on me because he left. This man, who my mother loved until the day she died, took the opportunity to leave one day after he and my mom had an argument (I was about eight at the time) and he never called, wrote or came back again. This left me with a huge gap in my world. I thought I was O.K. not having a father growing up, and I was. My mom did an amazing job raising me with what she/we had, but my father set me on a course in my life which I have only come to recently realize. He was the first (and best) teacher of what it was like to live without honor.

The concept of honor. The more Mike and I talked the more we shared how certain pop culture figures became surrogate fathers and male role models for us. I felt so stupid as we sat there and talked because the concept of a virtual father seemed wrong, but it was very, very true. His questions made me realize that I didn’t have one father but a collage of fathers over the years, men on TV and in film who sometimes of questionable moral fiber but who ultimately did good in the end. Everyone from Rick in “Casablanca,” who left his politics at the door of his bar and allowed Nazis and the French, alike, to drink in his place – that is until Ilsa comes back and gets involved. When that happens he knows he can no longer be apathetic to what’s going on in the world. He must make a choice and chooses the side of good. Han Solo is another one who does almost the same exact thing. He doesn’t want to get involved but realizes through his burgeoning friendships with Luke and Leia how important it is to be involved, engaged and good.

But the last “Star Wars” reference really got to me the most. While Mike chose Obi-Wan Kenobi as his role model I chose Darth Vader. Fuck! How appropriate. Mike, an honorable, decent and great family man chose the man in the film who becomes Luke’s mentor, friend and ally against evil while I choose, especially when we include the newer (albeit shittier) films, the character who lets his greed, ambition, selfishness and emotions get the best of him – literally becoming disfigured and imprisoned in a suit of pain as a result.

As we continued to talk I kept thinking about this. I felt raw from the fact that my father, who was only my dad three times in my entire life, taught me to run like a coward. He taught me to not stand up and face up to responsibility. He taught me to not take care of myself. He taught me it was O.K. to not be present and eventually leave. And all of this stayed with me more than I could have possibly ever imagined.

Over the years I recognized right from wrong. More to the point I felt the difference, kind of like in the movies when you are just waiting for the bully to get his or hers from the good guy, the David to their Goliath. But what was ingrained in me was this base and core of it being O.K. to do what he did because he was my father and my mother loved him. I even admit how much I wanted to turn and run and fly someplace far away when the shit hit the fan recently. I fought my every instinct to do that for three reasons:

• I knew I couldn’t and shouldn’t run away from my problems
• I had to make them right somehow with the people I wronged
• I wanted to be my mother’s son and a good man again

A very wise honorable person once said to me something I will never forget: “You can’t change the past and the choices you’ve made, but you can always be remembered for how you deal with those choices moving forward.” That is the truth. In facing up to the things I’ve done in my life I not only realize how far I sank to inevitably reach rock bottom but that it is up to me to make things right and set things straight.

One day when I was a boy my mom and I were in the A&P grocery store and I pocketed a giant balloon without paying. When my mom found out she made me go back to the store and not just put it back on the shelf but tell someone what I did and apologize. As I walked back into the store I felt for sure I would spend the rest of my life behind bars but when I told the store worker they smiled, took the balloon and said thank you for being honest. Over the years I lost sight of that lesson, a lesson taught to me by the woman who had to raise a man after her man left her at the first chance he got. In that moment she taught me honor, and I should have kept that with me instead of pissing it and precious time away with lies and dishonorable things.

But I am here now and I am present, and I am going through a mental process of unpacking and purging – kind of like you’d do if moving. What am I purging? I am purging the behaviors I’ve displayed and it’s about time, too. No longer can I live my life acting and acting out the way I did all the while never forgetting what I’ve doneand letting that be my inspiration to never do it again. And what am I unpacking? I am unpacking the memories of that balloon and the other good and decent things my mom and others have taught me over the years. That is what will fill my brain so that maybe, one day, I can truly replace the bad I’ve done with acts (like helping others to lose weight and my continuing my own weight loss) that I will be proud to say are overflowing with honesty and, most of all, honor.

Day nine.

It’s absolutely amazing how addictions, to no matter what, seem to show the same patterns and symptoms. Take for example denial. The old Bill would have made a funny, cheesy joke about it not being a river in Egypt, but this new Bill knows all too well denial because I lived it – twice. It is no laughing or joking matter. It is serious and it applied to my weight loss then and it applies to my life now.

Before, when I was over 400 pounds I was in complete denial. How do I know? One, it was always in the back of my head. I just chose to ignore it. Two, because I am finally facing what denial is thanks to the help I am seeking now and I can say I exhibited all the signs of it. It says in twelve-step literature, denying a problem exists is a common form of resistance for those having trouble recognizing and coming to grips with their problems. Various forms of denial include thinking:

• “I’m not as bad as others…”
• “I’m not addicted to (and insert your addiction here)…”
• “I come from a good family/better background…”
• “One more time won’t hurt…”
• “This is everywhere, therefore I can’t get free.”

When I was 400 pounds I swear to God I thought each and every one of these things. I would walk into a big and tall store and plop down my money for a size 5XL shirt thinking “hell, they do make shirts in 6XL and even 7XL. And I’m not that bad.” Thinking I wasn’t addicted to food was just a joke. It was like I couldn’t live without it. Even here I talk about food extremely fondly. Of course, we all have a soft place in our hearts for our favorite foods, but back then I “needed” them. The taste in my mouth for them was so great I had to satisfy it and most often did.

I also thought that since my mama loved me and instilled in me a sense of “you can do anything” I was “above” that kind of thing. And one more egg roll, Sausage McMuffin with Egg sandwich or hot dog would not only not hurt but also not make a difference in my weight even though I was topping the scale at 400. Shit, and the last thing, the “it’s everywhere, therefore I can’t get free” thing is why I call driving on a main street “driving the gauntlet,” the row of endless fast food chains waiting to take you in with open arms to offer you greasy comfort.

That is denial and I went through it then, and like I said recently realized how much I was in denial again about a great many things. Denial is powerful, but denial is also a two-sided coin. On one side denial offers you excuses to continue. It gives you the reasoning in your mind to keep doing X, Y or Z. It keeps you company when you are alone and feeling disgusted after doing X, Y or Z, remember “one more time won’t hurt.”

But if you flip the script denial gives you the keys to recognizing you have a problem and can actually help you stop what you are doing. You know the cheesy, cliche line “recognizing you have a problem is the first step in recovery?” Well, it may be cliche but the shit is true, and it will be true forever. If you are ready, I mean really bottomed out and ready to actually work on this, then the signs of denial are almost like a roadmap to getting help.

Back in 2005 I came to grips with the fact that I had to lose weight or I’d be dead. Now, I am coming to grips with the many “whys” I was that way, why I am this way and what I’m going to do about it. I am not in denial anymore and it feels good and I plan to stay on this road to recovery. And if you, out there, are wanting to lose weight and know you need to lose weight because your health and life are affected take a good, long and hard look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if you are in denial. The scale and mirror don’t lie, so when you admit that to yourself you help yourself more than you’ll ever know. And moreover, it flips the coin of denial from the bad side to the good side and takes away that demon’s power over you.

Our struggles may be ongoing but we are fighting and that is something, especially when you are trying to regain a foothold on life – especially one that slips out of even your own control. And very much like when I was in denial twice (remember, about weight and current issues) I have made this promise twice: I never want to be there again. I said it with weight and won and I am saying it now. I want the old Bill gone and gone forever and I will do everything in my power to make that happen.

Day two.

It seems silly to jump back into writing my usual upbeat, movie-themed weight loss blog, particularly in light of the events of the past few days. Who am I, a flawed and damaged human being, to tell ANYONE how to do anything? That’s a question I have asked myself repeatedly, believe it or not, since I began writing this thing. But the answer to that lies in the simple fact I did lose weight and did it by changing my lifestyle and eating habits.

When I started this whole process I was over 400 pounds. I was a massive man. I know that I must have fodder for many a McDonald’s drive-thru worker when they saw this elephant driving up to them, handing over some cash and taking a bag full of food stuff that were going to add more fat and cholesterol and salt and sugars to my body. And for what?! Just so I could have a convenient and hot “breakfast” on my way to work? That’s crap. I would bet you anything fast food employees talk about the people they see and have bets to see who serves the fattest person that day or that week.And am I saying that to be harsh? No. It is the truth. The cold, hard truth, and the same truth I had to face when I began trying to lose weight.

When I saw that photo of me in the shark tunnel at the aquarium I really saw the result of what I had been doing to myself over years and years of fucked up, messed up emotions, situations and thoughts. I used food. I used it to feel better, take away pain, ease guilt, celebrate happinesses (is that even a word), join with friends…it was everywhere and I took it. Which meant that when I saw that photo I knew I had to do something about it. Me, and me alone.

Here’s another reason I feel silly, folks. Thanks to the catastrophic failures I mentioned yesterday I am finally able to be honest and say how selfish I really am as a human being. I also know, in light of that, how weird it is to say “I” and “me” as much as I have in today’s writing. The only thing I can say is that in this weight loss, the only thing I seem to have done right over these past few years, I did it. Me, and me alone shed this weight. Nobody held a gun to my head to make me eat that God-forsaken “food” I loaded up on and no one was going to be able to help me on my journey. I had to do it alone.

This brings me back to my opening paragraph. How silly I feel trying to write something upbeat when I don’t feel upbeat. But I have to be true to myself and mention a movie quote (and no, it’s not from “Star Wars”). This one is from the 1987 Brian DePalma film “The Untouchables.” In that film, DeNiro, as Al Capone, walks around all his lieutenants holding a baseball bat talking about the virtues of being part of a team. You know the scene I mean. Well, before the infamous “batter-up” he does to one of them for getting raided he talks about standing alone at the plate and how that is the time for individual achievement.

In weight loss it is you, all you, standing alone at the plate. That’s why it’s scary. The cheeseburgers, fried chicken pieces, pops, candies, McMuffin sandwiches and doughnuts are the fast balls, curve balls and sliders you have to try to navigate, out-guess and out-think so you don’t strike out and fail that time up to bat. And no one is standing up there with you. I cannot talk about that enough. It’s a scary fucking time in weight loss especially because no one is doing it for you. Oh sure, they can and might encourage, suggest and support but at the end of the day it’s only you who can make your feet move in exercise and make your hands NOT pick up one of those curve ball cheeseburgers.

Bill Murray the actor once said in a famous award acceptance speech that he didn’t know who to thank for the honor because so many people were trying to take credit that he didn’t know where to begin. Funny how successes in someone’s life are like that award, with people always trying to take credit for someone else’s hard work, blood, sweat and tears. I can assure you, however no one did this for me. I did it. Me. Bill Larson, who might be weak in other areas of his life but wasn’t in this one.

That why I always try to support you guys in your weight loss. It can be a very lonely road to travel when you do decide to, and I know from experience that it helps sometimes having people there who have gone through all this before to really offer encouragement, wisdom or a good kick in the pants. But the best thing I can offer you is that understanding of how alone you can feel. I am actually (and ironically) on another losing trend again. I am within losing that final ten pounds. This time, though, it’s because I am finally being a man and owning up to things I’ve done in my life, apologizing for them and trying to do some right, and by doing that I am not picking up food as a way to suppress it all.

That is why, despite the rest of the strike outs I’ve been having in my life, in my weight loss and my ongoing weight loss journey, I am hitting a home run. Good luck to you all today as you step up to the plate. You can do it. I know you can.

Recently, I had the incredible opportunity to begin my mixed martial arts workouts with martial arts and self defense expert Doug Shaffer. I knew this was going to be a series of down-and-dirty workouts. I knew I was going to sweat. I knew I was going to sleep until noon (well, 9:30 a.m.). I knew I was going to hurt…and I love every minute of it.

The martial arts I am learning are a mixture of Kempo karate, Jiu-Jitsu and American kickboxing, so I started my training by learning how to punch. I put on my MMA (mixed martial arts) gloves and I went to work learning how to throw a punch (something I am proud to say I have never done in my life in the real world) using the heavy bag. Next came kicks. Yep, no “Karate Kid”  “wax on, wax off,” “hang your jacket up” stuff. I went right into kicking and how to properly kick (with a flat foot against the target). Then into using my knees. Then into a combo of all three.

Can you imagine the sweat dripping from me after each class? Believe me, it’s in buckets. But that’s a good thing. That is what I signed up for. To give you all a little insight into what I’ve been talking about these past almost eight weeks I asked my sensei Doug a few questions about martial arts and why it seems more and more people are taking it to enhance a weight loss journey…

How many people come to you, like me, wanting to take MMAs as a way to lose weight/stay in shape?

“More then you’d think! Most people see UFC on television and say to themselves “I wish I could get that same type of workout, but I really don’t want to get elbowed in the jaw. Does such a workout exist?” Yes. Not all of us have an interest in competition on a professional level. Some of my students do, but my most popular adult programs are fitness based. These days people tell me that their two main reasons for training are stress relief and weight loss. What better way to combine the two worlds then hitting things? Out of all the adults I have in my studio, I’d say a good 85 percent are in it to stay in shape.”

What mixed martial arts do you teach? Why those particular ones?

“The styles of martial arts that I teach are the ones that I have had the most training in. I’ve been studying Kenpo karate for over 20 years now. I first started training in 1987. Kenpo’s main focus is on stand-up striking, and stand-up self defense. In the late 1980s, it was becoming very popular and is a very effective “street” art. I also teach Gracie Jiu Jitsu. Let’s face it, any good old street fight is going to end up on the ground. Although I did not get into my jiu jitsu training until 2006, this system of self defense from the ground, and the science of grappling has always held a special place in my heart. From the very first time I saw Royce Gracie in UFC 1, I knew that was a technique that I needed to learn. I discovered my teachers through a friend. I had no idea there was even a Gracie studio in or near Philadelphia until four years ago. I feel these two art forms offer something for everyone. I chose to teach them because I feel that it’s important to be ready for any type of situation on the street.”

What originally got you started and interested mixed martial arts?

“My interest in the martial arts started from the time I saw my first Bruce Lee movie. Like most kids my age, we all played around with the moves we saw on the silver screen. Bruce was the first person I’d ever seen that made things like that seem possible for a little guy like me. Add to that the fact I went to a VERY tough school growing up, and you’ve got the recipe for a kid that NEEDS to learn how to protect himself. At least two, maybe even three times per week, I’d get into a fight in the schoolyard because I did not like to take crap from anyone. I’d also have no trouble standing up to people twice my size if one of my friends was being bugged by some bully. It really got to the point where people knew I’d fight, so they’d look for me first.”

How can this type of training be good for weight loss and fitness?

“With the advent of programs such as cardio kickboxing, Tae Bo, and even the famous P90X, this training is becoming very easy for the public to get its hands on. A traditional martial arts workout will focus on only the areas that increase strength for standing positions. Growing up, we used to do countless amounts of stance drills. We’d practice kicking, punching, and blocking with partners, and we’d spar at the end of every class. This style of training is great for muscle tone and endurance, but it fails to activate and use every important muscle group needed. When you incorporate ground fighting and grappling, you are now able to target the rest of the body in a way that the stand-up skills lack. In order to have a complete workout, you need to be training your entire body every time you practice. Mixed martial arts does not give the body a chance to overlook a single movement.”

Does a person need to be in the “best physical shape” to begin taking MMAs?

“Absolutely not. A person can come to me in the worst shape they’ve ever been in, and still get the best training they’ve ever had. I was speaking to my class some months ago about this very same subject because this is the most common objection I hear. “I’m not strong enough to do that,” or, “I’d hurt myself if I tried that.”  One of my students said it better then I could have, and this has become a mantra for that particular class: “this is an evolution, not a revolution.” If you’re in bad shape to start with, and you make the personal commitment to change, you’ve already started your journey! The point in coming to class is so that you see the change happen in front of yourself over time and that you also enjoy the learning experience. Every exercise that we do can be altered or modified to fit any body type. As you get stronger, you work closer to your ideal body position. You don’t have to be in “perfect” shape at all. If you are in great shape, we take the training to the next level. I can always give a student more or less, depending on your needs. Any good coach should be in touch with the student’s needs.”

After my classes I am exhausted, sweaty (scratch that. I was mega-sweaty) and thirsty, but what incredible workouts they are. They’re the kind of workouts that should hurt. Sweat means you are burning fat and I am doing that. I am working muscles I never knew I had (like behind and under my shoulders) and I was getting my body into a new kind of workout to help trim off these pesky remaining pounds and, hopefully, firm up what’s left. And when you have an instructor like Sensei Doug, who wants to help people not just train-up for martial arts but get to their personal goals or weight loss, fitness or self-defense it turns a hard-as-hell workout into a partnership.

There is a saying in the studio in which we train which I have shared before and am going to share with you all again today, because it applies to all aspects of life…“A black belt is a white belt who didn’t quit.”

Damn right, and neither will I. Hell, if I can do it with my flabby arms, thighs and belly, anyone can.

About Doug Shaffer: Doug Shaffer, a seasoned martial arts and self-defense instructor with more than 20 years of personal training experience, is one of the most sought after mixed martial arts trainers in the region. Doug currently holds a third-degree black belt in kenpo karate, a second-degree black belt in Filipino Arnis, and a blue belt in Gracie Jiu Jitsu.  He is currently pursuing a purple belt in Gracie Jiu Jitsu from Balance Studios in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.  He also studies Ashtanga Yoga with Phil Migliarese, a protégé of the late Sri K. Pattabhi Jois.  Doug currently trains people out of his studio in Lansdale, Pennsylvania. To contact him, please visit www.amerikicklansdale.com.

Sometimes we all need a kick in the ass to remind us of the wonderful gifts we have been given in life. Sure, that kick could come when seeing someone who doesn’t have means standing on the street begging for money as we enter a Starbucks Coffee to order a $5 cup of coffee. However today, that kick means something different and something so fundamental that even that coffee buyer and the beggar have in common…the ability to walk.

Yesterday, I was doing research in the local Barnes & Noble Bookstore, looking up words and phrases and clauses (sorry, I couldn’t resist the “Conjunction Junction” Schoolhouse Rock reference). I was looking up editor  information in magazines and had completed my task. “A cup of coffee sounds good right about now,” I thought to myself and I packed up what little I had brought in with me and headed toward the door.

When I got to the door I was reminded of life’s gifts. It was instant, resonant and humbling and didn’t come in the form of words but in the form of another human being.

At the door there was a woman, maybe in her 30s, holding the door for another. This other woman was walking slowly because she could not walk at all without the help of the two canes she carried, one in each hand. And not just normal canes. These had the four-pronged bottoms that help steady a person as they walk and she had two of them because her legs, swollen and big as they were, looked weak.

I held open the other door and both ladies said “you don’t have to” in the sweetest voices imaginable, and I said “don’t you worry about it at all” as the second lady slowly made her way to the threshold. There, I noticed the rest of her body was suffering the same malady. She looked up at me and in the kindest, sweetest voice possible she said “thank you so much” and my heart melted. I asked how their day was going and they said “fine” with smiles. As the second lady was through I offered “now, you stay cool and out of all this heat we’ve been having.” The first lady said “oh we will. She even gets cold in here.” I said, “good. Better than outside in all that heat.” I told both ladies to have a great rest of their day and they offered the same, the second lady looking up at me smiling with the biggest eyes you can imagine on a person.

As I left the store I realized two things: one, that most of the second lady’s strength was not in her limbs but in her heart. Two, that all of us who can walk – not run, jump, skip, dance, or kick – have a gift. It was obvious that this woman had some type of degenerative condition from which she will not recover. Why is it then we sit on our asses, us healthy people, and bitch about how little energy we have especially when it comes time to work out?

Yesterday served as a reminder to me that if you are of able body, no matter what your size, it behooves you to get up and make every day count physically. Those of us who are larger have obligations to ourselves NOT to just sit there but to get up to try to prolong our lives. Losing weight and eating better and exercising are the keys to doing that, keys which most of us have right there in front of us. Hell, I did it and I was 400 pounds. I started by walking, the one thing I knew I could do. The one and only thing this second woman could do.

You have heard me say from time to time that larger people have a responsibility to themselves to get up, and that is true. We have that responsibility because no one is, or should, do it for us. There is no magic pill for weight loss therefore it will come from our own hard work and effort. But shame on us if we squander the days we have, bigger or not, if he delay that process simply because we don’t “feel” like going for a walk. That’s bullshit. I’m sure that second woman would love to go for a simple walk unencumbered by her two walking canes.

So get up and do an exercise today, any exercise. Tummy crunch, push-up, sit-up, arm curl or simply go for a walk. Do it because you CAN go for a walk. Do it because your legs DO work, no matter what size they are. And do it knowing you have a gift – the gift of ability – that others do not have.  It doesn’t matter what size you are, either. When you awoke today you got up knowing you could do these things. So get up and do them, especially if you want to lose weight.

After all, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step so don’t squander them. For many of us that single step, as simple as it is, is not as easy for others and could very well be the hardest thing they could possibly do.

O.K., I know I’ve been a bit of a movie geek with you guys lately (although I do not apologize for it at all – smiles), and I know I’ve mentioned it before, but you all remember the original “The Karate Kid,” right? In the film, Daniel-san (Ralph Macchio) finally gets fed up with Mr. Miyagi’s (the late, great Pat Morita) seemingly selfish and self-serving requests to “wax on, wax off,” “sand the floor” and “paint the fence.” Daniel-San asks “when am I gonna learn Karate?” Mr. Miyagi, in his infinite wisdom, grumbles a bit but acknowledges that it’s time for Daniel to learn what he has been really doing and shows him exactly how much karate he’s actually learned doing all those things. That’s when Daniel-san put it together, the meaning of it all. How doing one thing builds to other things and how, when all the pieces are put together, your mind has been opened to something new and something wonderful.

Or, as Hannibal says in “The A-Team,” “I love it when a plan comes together.”

Even though I am in no way, shape or form frustrated with my martial arts sensei, Doug Shaffer, yesterday’s instruction was that big “a-ha” moment for me. Noooooo, not the A-Ha who sang “Take On Me” in the 80s (although that is an awesome song and video). I mean it was the class that showed me the practical applications of all the moves I have been doing. For example, how rocking back and forth on my back, kind of like a turtle on its shell, keeping a target in sight actually is not only a great ab exercise but allows you to control how close an aggressor can get to you using your legs. Then, how these killer ab exercises we started yesterday actually help complete that control by allowing you to build muscle to use those legs to fight off said aggressor.

I’m not gonna be defending myself against “sweep the leg” or doing the crane move or anything from “The Karate Kid” but it shows that the things I’ve been learning all build, not just in increased health and strength but also in skill. In the five weeks I’ve been doing martial arts I am already seeing results both in health and in physicality. But now I get to add that “a-ha” moment to it all, that one more thing that can help me push through the sweat I am adding to the blood, sweat and tears story of that mat to get to my goal.

Weight loss is the same thing. You eat less calories. Groovy. Then, you exercise. Groovier. Put those two together and you lose weight. That may be simplistic but that’s why both have to work in tandem. That’s the plan, and not doing them together means you will be frustrated. Believe me, I know as I tried both for years separately and that’s part of why I failed before 2005. Before I finally got it. Before I said “a-ha.”

When we put work aside and jump into the weekend we have to put the things we learn to use over the two days of being away from our routine. In other words it is the time to put that plan and those disciplines we learn into action in the real world. I know it’s hard to avoid the Auntie Anne’s pretzels in the mall, or the burger with fries on the run between running from the store to the dry cleaners, but it must be done. It’s time to set aside time for yourself to get in at least ten minutes of exercise, too.

When I left the class yesterday I was invigorated. Not just because I get to kick the bag or punch out my week’s frustrations, but because I “got it.” I got the “why” you do the exercises you do and for my inquisitive brain, it helps, as do seeing the results every week. And when you start seeing that first pound or two come off (or see more pounds come off) you will have those moments, too, of understanding. This is all a process and sometimes it’s a slow one, I know. But it all does mean something. It all does show results and it all does come together for your own plan.

In time you will see that, my friends. You will.

In the meantime, keep on keeping on, especially over the weekend. And remember to “wax on, wax off,” “sand the floor” and “paint the fence,” metaphorically speaking that is. Each little thing you do is helping. Trust me. You are building to something great and awesome…you.

There’s no better time like the present.

How many times do we hear and say those words? And how many times do we hear and say those words and then NOT back them up with an action? If you answered “a lot,” then you are not alone. I, too, am guilty of saying “hey, let’s do this now while we still can,” only to have “this” be as fleeting as a dream you can’t remember the next day.

I bring this up because of something that happened yesterday here in Philadelphia, the kind of thing that makes you stop in your tracks.You see the search continues today for two people still missing after yesterday’s boating accident on the Delaware River. A tourist “Duck Boat” ride sank shortly before 3pm, after it was hit by a barge in the Delaware River. And of the 37 people on the boat two are still missing and presumed dead.

It is horrible news, indeed, yet it is the kind of news that can make you, me and everyone else actually do some of the “this” we always say we are going to do. Because time is short, my friends. Very short. I felt time’s acute sting in June 2009 when my mom, JoAnn, died. From the day we found out it was pancreatic cancer to the day she died it was only 18 days. 18 short days. And every day after I have viewed life as a gift. I went to Egypt in her honor afterward and made a promise to myself I would see more of the world while I still can – because you never know what could happen tomorrow (like those poor people who signed up to take a stupid “Ride The Ducks” tour and ended up being capsized in the Delaware fighting for their lives on a record-setting hot day).

Before 2005, I made broken promises to myself (and others) to lose weight. My old landlady used to chide me all the time and say, in a very cute broken English/Greek accent, “Beeel. You need to drop the weight. Yes?” Before that, as I told you guys before, I used to hide behind lies when asked if I was losing weight. I may have lost ten here or five there but always said “no” so I had a way to go back when I failed. And believe me I always did.

But one day in 2005 I “bottomed out” and said no more. I am going to do “this” today and I started. And once I did I didn’t stop. I couldn’t stop. There was momentum, and it was different that time. I could feel it. And it might have taken me three-and-a-half years but I got to that promised land. I got to that promise I made to myself. I got to my “this.”

What I am saying to you is that, if you are thinking about starting to lose weight, you should just start. Today. Right now. There really is no better time like the present. I mean you know as well as I do it ain’t going to mysteriously happen overnight and you and I both ain’t gonna wake up the next day magically looking like we want to at the weight we want. It takes time, hard work, patience and vision to know you WILL get there. But every day you put it off, every day you delay that start, you waste time plain and simple. And time is something none of us are sure we ever have. Just ask those souls who thought they signed up for a simple couple of hours touring Philly by boat yesterday.

You bet your ass this is a wake up call for you, but not an angry one. If you are afraid it is time to confront that fear. It is time to acknowledge, at least to yourself, what is driving that fear and beat it. It is time to say “I am not going to be afraid” because that, my friends, is the only thing standing in your way – even if it’s the fear of succeeding. But fear is only holding you back if you let it, and you losing weight – meaning being healthier and living a longer, better, fuller, richer, easier life – is within your grasp.

Time is fleeting, my friends. And if things like yesterday’s boat accident on the Delaware (or September 11, 2001, or any number of events) teach us anything it’s to cherish our lives and make the most of them and the time we have on this planet. It’s what we got. It’s all we got. But different than that horrific accident, this “this” is within your power to change.

There is no better time like the present, and no better time to begin a weight loss journey. Your life can have so many days added on to it and the life you save and extend could very well be your own.

This morning I awoke to a phone call from a friend of mine from Chicago, Mark, who was helping a friend of his drive a sweet 2010 little red Corvette across country and back to Chicago. What a great weekend they picked, too. The weather, at least in this part of the country is perfect. When we hung up the phone I wondered… did I ever tell you guys the story of the little red sports car? I’m sure I’ve mentioned it (maybe) once or twice in my blog but I will tell it to you now. Pull up a chair, and a great cup of coffee…

Years ago, 2003/2004-ish, I went car shopping. I am extremely brand loyal when I like something so I went to a Chicago-area Honda dealership to find a new Honda-mobile. Now, you know what a dealer’s showroom looks like – filled with all the latest and greatest from that company’s current fleet.

Stumbling through the middle of the showroom I saw it – a beautiful, sporty (and yes, red) two-door sports car. Being human I naturally gravitated to it. It was like the movies when the hero hears the song “Dream Weaver” and the soft light edges frame the love interest with little sparkling lights (think of the first time Wayne saw Cassandra in the first “Wayne’s World” movie). Anyhow, even though I knew I wasn’t going to get it I dared to try it out.

Boy was that a big mistake. Not because I wanted to try it out but because I couldn’t even fit in the thing. I couldn’t fit my fat ass into the driver’s side of the cockpit. It was horrible made worse by the fact that I then felt everyone’s eyes on me because that car, again, was in the middle of the showroom, spotlights beaming and shining on the fat guy who dared to dream and then woke up to the harsh reality that he wasn’t going to fit. No way. No how.

You bet your ass that was one of the things that motivated me to lose weight. Besides the fact that the car’s cockpit was small (it was sporty) my knee hurt like a son-of-a-bitch when I bent it. And if I couldn’t even watch movies in a theater without my knee hurting imagine was just trying to get into this car felt like. It was painful in more ways than one.

This is what I thought of as I spoke to my friend, Mark, this morning as he and Walt, the other friend, picked up this car and started making their way back. I thought about how much easier I fit into my old boss’s car when I lost the first 37 pounds. I thought about how my knee doesn’t hurt anymore when I get into and out of cars. I thought about the ability to now be able to fit into almost any car, airline seat or amusement ride – a dream that seemed so impossible just a few short years ago.

I call it “the other side,” that promised land of weight loss. You get to your goal and you try your best to maintain. That’s right, you never really end a weight loss journey because you have to make those smart choices every day to stay where you are but (BUT) you are enjoying the benefits of that weight loss. It feels good. It is an awesome feeling. It is the greener grass on “the other side.”

I know I still struggle with the last ten or so pounds I need to lose to get back to my goal weight but thinking about how far I’ve driven down this road to weight loss is part of what fuels me to keep going?

And what is your “other side?” What is it that you want to do when you lose weight? Whatever that is, let it fuel you to start or keep going because one day you, too, can fit into your little red Corvette or Honda or other sports car of choice literally or figuratively.