Determined To Succeed

There’s no better time like the present.

How many times do we hear and say those words? And how many times do we hear and say those words and then NOT back them up with an action? If you answered “a lot,” then you are not alone. I, too, am guilty of saying “hey, let’s do this now while we still can,” only to have “this” be as fleeting as a dream you can’t remember the next day.

I bring this up because of something that happened yesterday here in Philadelphia, the kind of thing that makes you stop in your tracks.You see the search continues today for two people still missing after yesterday’s boating accident on the Delaware River. A tourist “Duck Boat” ride sank shortly before 3pm, after it was hit by a barge in the Delaware River. And of the 37 people on the boat two are still missing and presumed dead.

It is horrible news, indeed, yet it is the kind of news that can make you, me and everyone else actually do some of the “this” we always say we are going to do. Because time is short, my friends. Very short. I felt time’s acute sting in June 2009 when my mom, JoAnn, died. From the day we found out it was pancreatic cancer to the day she died it was only 18 days. 18 short days. And every day after I have viewed life as a gift. I went to Egypt in her honor afterward and made a promise to myself I would see more of the world while I still can – because you never know what could happen tomorrow (like those poor people who signed up to take a stupid “Ride The Ducks” tour and ended up being capsized in the Delaware fighting for their lives on a record-setting hot day).

Before 2005, I made broken promises to myself (and others) to lose weight. My old landlady used to chide me all the time and say, in a very cute broken English/Greek accent, “Beeel. You need to drop the weight. Yes?” Before that, as I told you guys before, I used to hide behind lies when asked if I was losing weight. I may have lost ten here or five there but always said “no” so I had a way to go back when I failed. And believe me I always did.

But one day in 2005 I “bottomed out” and said no more. I am going to do “this” today and I started. And once I did I didn’t stop. I couldn’t stop. There was momentum, and it was different that time. I could feel it. And it might have taken me three-and-a-half years but I got to that promised land. I got to that promise I made to myself. I got to my “this.”

What I am saying to you is that, if you are thinking about starting to lose weight, you should just start. Today. Right now. There really is no better time like the present. I mean you know as well as I do it ain’t going to mysteriously happen overnight and you and I both ain’t gonna wake up the next day magically looking like we want to at the weight we want. It takes time, hard work, patience and vision to know you WILL get there. But every day you put it off, every day you delay that start, you waste time plain and simple. And time is something none of us are sure we ever have. Just ask those souls who thought they signed up for a simple couple of hours touring Philly by boat yesterday.

You bet your ass this is a wake up call for you, but not an angry one. If you are afraid it is time to confront that fear. It is time to acknowledge, at least to yourself, what is driving that fear and beat it. It is time to say “I am not going to be afraid” because that, my friends, is the only thing standing in your way – even if it’s the fear of succeeding. But fear is only holding you back if you let it, and you losing weight – meaning being healthier and living a longer, better, fuller, richer, easier life – is within your grasp.

Time is fleeting, my friends. And if things like yesterday’s boat accident on the Delaware (or September 11, 2001, or any number of events) teach us anything it’s to cherish our lives and make the most of them and the time we have on this planet. It’s what we got. It’s all we got. But different than that horrific accident, this “this” is within your power to change.

There is no better time like the present, and no better time to begin a weight loss journey. Your life can have so many days added on to it and the life you save and extend could very well be your own.

Yesterday, it hit me like a ton of bricks. It knocked me down for the majority of the day. It zapped my strength and held me at it’s mercy. What had me? I had an allergy attack. When my allergies hit me they hit me hard, and there was nothing I could do to calm my sneezing and “ugh-ing.” I even tried getting out of the house for a bit to get some fresh air but that didn’t work either. I am usually helpless in its grasp so I just sat on the couch and watched TV. Lots of TV.

However, I did discover a phenomenal HBO show from a few years back I had never seen called “Band of Brothers.” This incredible show, produced by Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg, was about the men who made up Easy Company and their stories during World War II. It was amazingly shot, incredibly acted and deeply affecting (try not to cry when the troops happen upon a Nazi concentration camp and CAN’T feed the prisoners because it might do more harm than good).

Why am I sharing this with you guys today? Because of something that struck me as I watched the last few minutes of the last episode of this amazing show. It was named after a line from William Shakespeare’s “Henry V.”

Shakespeare’s “Henry V” describes Henry’s victory over the French at the Battle of Agincourt (1415). The French, aware of Henry’s troops’ weakened condition because of their distance from England and the attacks of dysentery that had plagued the dwindling band, moved between King Henry and Calais, the port he needed to reach in order to return to England. The troops followed Henry’s band along the rivers, preventing their crossing and daring them to a battle they thought Henry could not win. Henry was seriously outnumbered, however, because the English fought using archers and Welsh longbows in support of its troops, they defeated the French and won the day.

Just prior to the battle Henry delivered a speech to help rally his men to try to defeat their low morale and dread due to the overwhelming force of the French. That speech was called the “St. Crispin’s Day Speech” and in it is something that is at the core of any battle, even in weight loss.

This day is call’d the feast of Crispian.
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam’d,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say ‘To-morrow is Saint Crispian.’
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
And say ‘These wounds I had on Crispian’s day…”
… in their flowing cups freshly rememb’red.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
…From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here,
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin’s day.

Amazing words! Simply amazing. While it is debatable Henry’s actual speech was far more self-serving (based on a priest’s recollection of the scene), this speech written by Shakespeare two-hundred years after the battle is the original “Independence Day” presidential speech. It shows that there is a brotherhood formed in battle, one that is not and cannot be defined by a family’s blood line. It is one that is not taken away with time. It lasts forever because of the shared experiences of the people who go through that shared experience and come out on the other end of it, for they have seen each other at their worst, and they have seen each other at their best.

Weight loss is that battle, however instead of shedding blood we are shedding pounds and we stand together in this fight. Shakespeare’s words hold true not just for his play but for real life. We are in a fight and while we may be few, we will win because we are in this together. Our weight loss battles make our bond, and what we will remember is how we shed those pounds to stand in victory so that we can live out the rest of our days healthier and pass down old photos of us and say “we did it.”

I know losing weight is by no means as important, bloody, horrific or traumatic as any battle, small or large, experienced by any soldier during World War II, but I so understand the bonds that were formed by the troops in all those companies. The scars we show may be more on the inside but we do have them. You might have fears and pain but you are not alone. We stand together, our own band of brothers (and sisters), and I am so proud to be with you on this weight loss journey.

And thank God for television. I know it’s sometimes (O.K. very frequently) full of, how shall I put it – crap, but every now and then it gets it right and makes us reflect on the human condition and why we are able to just lie on our couches lazily nursing a bad allergy attack. It is because men and women sacrificed their lives and livelyhoods for that and continue to do so today and I could not think of a better way to honor those who served and continue to serve this country than watching a show like “Band of Brothers” and honoring them at the end of Fourth of July Weekend.

I don’t know what it is these days. I just can’t seem to get out of bed. I fully admit there are times my sleep is thrown off because I am stupid (OK, maybe not stupid), like when I fall asleep for a couple of hours in front of the TV after eating. But mostly it’s because bed feels good and warm and I don’t wanna crawl out of it (wow, did that sound whiny or what?!). So, after convincing myself that the cinnamon and brown sugar oatmeal was a great reason to get out of bed, I finally did it and am now planted firmly in front my computer.

Yawn…

I can usually operate on a few hours sleep. Remember me telling you about my year of hell (working three jobs and getting four hours sleep a night for a year)? While those days are long gone I do find that getting good sleep does help. It doesn’t have to be 8-10 hours but it does. The interesting thing is that sleep is also important in losing weight…and lack of it might make you gain weight.

Think about it: If you’re feeling sleepy at work and are running on low energy, you may be tempted to reach for a cup of coffee (or several cups or really big ones like me – extra crunchy with sugar) and a doughnut (mmmmmmm, doughnuts)  for a quick shot of energy. Later you may skip the gym and pick up takeout on your way home because you are too tired and/or have no time to cook. When you finally find yourself back in your bed, you are too wound up to sleep.

What does this all mean? You may be able to fight off sleepiness, particularly at work, however the ultimate result is unwanted pounds from poor food choices coupled with lack of exercise. This sets the stage for obesity and further sleep loss. Think about it more: Sleep debt is like credit card debt. If you keep accumulating credit card debt, you will pay high interest rates or your account will be shut down until you pay it all off. If you accumulate too much sleep debt, your body will crash.

Exactly how lack of sleep affects our ability to lose weight has a lot to do with our nightly hormones.

The two hormones that are key in this process are ghrelin and leptin. Ghrelin is the “go” hormone that tells you when to eat. When you are sleep-deprived, you have more ghrelin. Leptin is the hormone that tells you to stop eating. So when you are sleep deprived, you have less leptin. In other words, more ghrelin plus less leptin equals weight gain. You are eating more, plus your metabolism is slower when you are sleep-deprived.

Yawn…stretch….

So what can you do about sleep deprivation?

For starters, avoid any caffeine in the afternoon because it will keep you in the lighter stages of sleep — which are associated with poor sleep — at night.  Exercise also helps improve sleep quality (which is awesome for me since today is martial arts training – yea!). Watch what you eat before bedtime and don’t eat a big meal too close to bed time. Heavy, rich meals before bed can also increase risk of heartburn (which will certainly keep you up all night – remember the “IN-DE-GESSSSSSSTION commercials).

Ah, now I am awake. I know I’m gonna have more cool stories about today’s martial arts lesson (and the soreness I will surely feel) but it’s all good. I have eaten my oatmeal to jumpstart my metabolism. I will be working out today. It’s a good day, indeed.

Now if only I could do all this waking up and being energized earlier…

Remember Saturday morning cartoons? I know, I know. They’re still on the air and Saturday mornings are probably still cool for kids. However I’ve noticed the shows and commercials on the “Big Three” networks are far louder, outrageous and more bombastic than the shows and commercials I grew up with, probably because they now have to compete with the glut of competition from cable.

Anywho, I bring this up because, for me, staples of Saturday morning cartoons were cereal commercials. Oh yes, you’d have Count Chocula, Frankenberry, Honeycomb (my personal favorite), Cheerios, Frosted Flakes and Tony The Tiger saying “they’re greeeeeeeeat!” And no matter which one you liked they all had the following line: “…part of a nutritious breakfast.” You’d see a nice glass of milk, a small glass of juice, a couple slices of toast and select fruit either on or next to the sugary goodness that was the cereal.

While it always struck me as funny that the phrase didn’t necessarily mean that the cereal itself was nutritious the concept of starting the day with breakfast was. Throughout my weight gain years I know I was not good at all about eating breakfast. I skipped thinking it would save calories, but all it did was make me eat the bulk of my calories later, especially at night, and made me snack on unhealthy crap.

These days we barely glance at the kitchen in the morning (guilty). Fixing breakfast takes up precious time that’s in short supply. But there’s tons of evidence (pun intended) that the simple act of eating breakfast is a big part of losing weight.

“People skip breakfast thinking they’re cutting calories, but by mid-morning and lunch, that person is starved,” says Milton Stokes, RD, MPH, chief dietitian for St. Barnabas Hospital in New York City. “Breakfast skippers replace calories throughoutcream cheese, the day with mindless snacking. They set themselves up for failure.”

Two studies in the Journal of the American Dietetic Association backed up this finding. A group of researchers analyzed data from a study that followed more than 2,000 young girls from ages 9 to 19. They found that regular cereal eaters had fewer weight problems than infrequent cereal eaters. Those who ate cereal occasionally had a 13% higher risk of being overweight compared to the regular cereal eaters.

Another research group analyzed government data on 4,200 adults. They found that regular breakfast eaters were more likely to exercise regularly. And women who ate breakfast regularly tended to eat fewer calories overall during the day. Those men and women who ate breakfast cereal had lower overall fat intake compared to those who ate other breakfast foods.

It makes TOTAL sense (get it? TOTAL?! A cereal reference?! Ah, never mind). Eating early in the day keeps us from “starvation eating” later on. It also jump-starts our metabolism, says Elisabetta Politi, RD, MPH, nutrition manager for the Duke Diet & Fitness Center at Duke University Medical School. “When you don’t eat breakfast, you’re actually fasting for 15 to 20 hours, so you’re not producing the enzymes needed to metabolize fat to lose weight.”

But before you go filling up a bowl with Cocoa Puffs or fruity-patooties (or whatever passes for cereal these days with kids and their new-fangled rock and roll) listen up. Breakfast is the best time to make wise food choices. That’s where fruits, vegetables, and whole grains come into the picture. Because these are high-fiber foods, they fill you up – yet they bring less fat to the table, says Barbara J. Rolls, PhD, the Guthrie Chair in Nutrition at Pennsylvania State University in Pittsburgh.

These high-fiber foods allow you to eat more food yet get fewer calories. It’s a concept called “energy density” – the number of calories in a specified amount of food, Rolls explains. “Some foods – especially fats – are very energy dense, which means they have a lot of calories packed into a small size,” Rolls says. “However, foods that contain lots of water have very low energy density. Water itself has an energy density of zero. High-fiber foods like fruits, vegetables, and grains have low energy density.”

Translation: If you eat foods with high energy density, such as bagels, you rack up calories quickly. If you eat high-fiber, low-energy-density foods – such as oatmeal, strawberries, walnuts, and low-fat yogurt – you can eat more and get fewer calories.

For example: A breakfast made up of 1 cup of oatmeal, 1/2lf cup of low-fat milk, 1 cup of sliced strawberries, and 1 tablespoon of walnuts has only approximately 307 calories total. Two multi-grain waffles, with 1 cup of blueberries, 3 tablespoons of light syrup, and 1 cup of plain low-fat yogurt have about 450 calories total. That’s almost equal to the standard bagel-and-cream-cheese breakfast – yet it’s much more food, and much lower in fat.

So what are some healthier breakfast suggestions? I’m so glad you asked that ’cause I just happen to have a few right here:

* Banana with peanut butter
* Banana sliced into yogurt
* Oatmeal with fruit — like apples, blueberries, or peaches (what I just had for breakfast)
* Small tortilla with a few tablespoons of peanut butter and chopped strawberries. Roll it up, slice it. It works for kids and adults.
* Breakfast smoothies — berries, ice, and milk or yogurt.

As for the much-beloved bagel – sadly, it’s the calorie equivalent of five slices of bread so just eat half. Better yet, go for smaller bagels, the little ones that are like hockey pucks. Spread some peanut butter on it instead of cream cheese. If you must have cream cheese, buy low-fat. Honestly there is no difference in taste. Add a little bit of jam, some sliced strawberries and you are good to go.

If on-the-run fast food breakfast sandwiches are your food of choice indulge them in a healthy way: whole-grain English muffins, a cooked egg, low-fat cheese melted on top – ham or Canadian bacon optional. It’s portable. You can drive with that. It’s got a good beat and I can dance to it. I give it an 87.

So, my friends. You can now see how important breakfast is and have some suggestions for what to eat. As for the sugary cereals we were fed as kids, some breakfast is better than no breakfast. The last thing anyone should do is skip breakfast. Otherwise, you’ll be eating something even worse later on – candy bars and potato chips – because you’re starving. But if you have time for that cereal take sweetened cereal and mix it with unsweetened cereal, or take unsweetened cereal and mix it with something a little sugary – like yogurt.

That may not please Count Chocula or the little dude from Lucky Charms but who cares. This is about you not them and losing weight is ultimately what is “magically delicious.”

P.S. – Always remember one simple rule especially at night: IF YOU’RE NOT HUNGRY FOR CEREAL THEN YOU’RE NOT REALLY HUNGRY.

Today is Thursday, it’s about 9:19 a.m. and I am just getting my nearly 40-year-old motor going for the day.  Part of that is due to yet another amazing martial arts workout from my sensei, martial arts and self-defense expert Doug Shaffer. I wonder sometimes if I would be better at this stuff if I were younger. Then it hits me, “nah. I just need to get my fat butt moving.”

So yesterday we did mainly mat work and leg work. I did lunging kicks, roundhouse kicks, exercises that can help get an attacker/opponent off you, a reverse push-up kick move and more. Plus we did my favorite exercise – those sweet but deadly reverse push-ups (actually, I think they’re called tricep dips). I swear to you guys I love these because they are great to do in your home – and I do.

While I was doing all these things I kept thinking to myself “I can do this. I just need to get my fat butt moving.” And I did. And while it’s not easy taking a body that used to be 400 pounds (with all of its still-persistent extra skin and flab) and make it faster and more coordinated, but I am doing my best and that is what matters. I sweat like a pig, but that’s good. I am tired as hell after, but that’s good. I roll out of bed today (late) with aches, but that’s good. I am getting my fat butt moving, and that’s good.

Today, I am going to do at least 20 of those reverse push-ups/tricep dips, if not more, to keep in practice. Also, have to practice other moves, too. Also, I am going to be working on cardio today with a good long walk or on the elliptical in the gym. Why, because I know I will be working hard tomorrow again. And even though this is only the second week I am already seeing results in my arms and I could swear (SWEAR) my love handles are looking a tad bit smaller. That may be my imagination but I like it.

So what are you guys going to do today to get your butts moving? I know it’s hard sometimes to either find the motivation, time or place but it can be done. Remember, you can do many types of exercises both at work or at home with minimal space/time requirements. You can always do some tummy crunches in your chairs (especially at work or while watching TV). You can always take a walk around your office or around the block at lunch.

As always I recommend you talk to your doctor before you try to do any exercise for the first time just to make sure you are able to do so, especially if you are starting from scratch and are of size. But I tell you, once you can get into a nifty exercise routine it’s like a drug. You will want to do it more, like my martial arts class, even if that regimen is just talking a regular walk around the block. You are working for you and making that time for you.

And to do a tricep dip you will need a chair that doesn’t have wheels on it, or another stationary surface higher than the ground. Stairs, for example. Position yourself with your back facing that chair or stairs. Grasp the front of the chair’s seat with your hands and fingers facing forward.  You can either plant your feet with your knees bent (as in this diagram) or extend your legs/hips forward with your heels supporting the lower body. Slowly bend your elbows, lowering your torso and butt so they are a few inches off the floor/ground. Then, push back up by slowly straightening your arms.

And while it may kick your butt, it gets your butt moving and that is how we are in this fight and losing weight together.

My friends, good morning.

Yesterday I received a letter from a friend of mine asking me how to get motivated to get back to the gym after being gone from it for a while.  They were stuck. “Circumstances” derailed them from going to the gym. Sure, they would get up and go for a great two or three days but then those circumstances would creep back in, derailing any motivation to go again for a week or two after that. Essentially, .they just wanted to know the how, when and where of getting back the motivation to get back to a routine.

It seemed like a simple question for which I could give a simple answer – that you have to push past whatever lead blanket on top of you is holding you down because you are the most important thing you will take care of today. Also, that getting back to the gym is easy for two reasons: one, you know what to do once you are there and two, the effects of it were working (my friend has already lost some weight in part by going to the gym) so that is a motivator, too.

But the answers weren’t that simple, mainly because those “circumstances” were deeper than that. Those “circumstances” were friends.

The issue is psychological, sure. There is a part of us, when we lose weight, that wants people to notice. There is no shame in that. It is reality. We all like to be seen when we do the hard work of weight loss and we look for that positive reinforcement from our friends, especially, because it’s acknowledgment of how far we’ve come on a weight loss journey.

People close to us, though, often say silly things like “you shouldn’t eat that,” or “don’t have that. That’s bad.” Combine that with them not saying “way to go on your hard work, it’s showing,” and we can feel like the loss of even 50-plus pounds is insignificant and doesn’t make a difference. You ask yourself “what the hell do I need to do around here just to get a ‘way to f%&$#(g go?’”

In other words, it is the perfect “circumstance” that can derail anyone from your weight loss journey or even going to the gym for weeks at a time as it did my friend.

First, it is wrong to say that the loss of even a few pounds is insignificant. Each pound lost is an accomplishment. Second, it is bullshit to say the loss of larger amounts of weight like 50-plus, isn’t a huge difference. It most certainly is. If you are the one losing weight the first thing you need to do is realize how far you’ve come, not how far you have to go. Second, it is an expectation to want people to see and take notice of our weight loss. We want them to positively reaffirm how far we’ve come and to tell us “keep going.”

When people in our own lives don’t do that it sucks ass, especially when it’s them we want to notice most.

However, in the end, it is only you that has to know and notice how much weight you’ve lost. No matter how much weight you have lost you have done an incredible thing. You have added years back to your life. You have made yourself healthier and you have made yourself lighter, which is amazing. Keep in mind, too, these people see and hear you all the time, therefore the impact of losing weight, even significant amounts of it, are sometimes lost on them – more so than someone who hasn’t seen you in a while.
People’s reactions motivate us, and sometimes people and relationships are what make and break most of our personal or professional lives. However, people sometimes don’t have the tact or intelligence God gave fleas. Them telling you “don’t eat this or that” is their stupid, two-dimensional way of encouragement. I know that’s not what you want to hear from them, though. You want the “you’re doing awesome” words.. But no matter what you are amazing and remember it’s only you that has to notice these things. And, quite frankly, if they piss you off tell them to suck it. Give it right back and say “look, just don’t tell me to “eat this not that.” I know what I should or shouldn’t eat. Just tell me every once in a while you notice what I am doing.  That is sometimes the motivation I need to keep my ass going to the gym.

So to my friend and others in similar situations who may have the same set of “circumstances,” I am so very proud of you. The journey we are on is not easy but every pound is noticed by the most important person in the world – you – and no one (NO ONE) can or will ever take that away from you. You are not alone, either on the road to weight loss or how you feel about it along the way.

Monday is here and the new week begins. I am sitting at my computer today feeling far less stressed than I have been lately. The Oprah audition is over and my “schedule” is somewhat back to normal which means I can truly get back to eating better, exercising and losing these damned last ten pounds.

My mind is still a bit scattered, though. So please forgive me if I sound weird. It’s almost like I am a kid who’s been tasked with putting away his toys and cleaning his room. So, in the mental room that is my mind, I am putting my marbles back in order so I can focus on a brand new week with a cleaner space. Damn, I didn’t realize how scattered I was until things calmed down a bit and believe me, my mental room was a mess.

I am finally back to fighting the “battle of the final ten.” Or maybe struggling to lose it is a better way to put it. And it is a struggle. You know yesterday I was still so wasted from Saturday that I hardly did anything except eat, rest and sleep. I so needed to replenish and I was ravenously hungry so I had lots of protein (steak and eggs) and broke down to have an ice-cold Coca-Cola. Yum. Not the best meal to have when trying to lose and/or maintain weight (especially when potatoes and toast are involved)  but it’s what my body craved.

The anniversary of my mom, JoAnn’s, passing is just a couple of days away and it is on my mind now more than ever in more ways than one. It was almost a year ago (A YEAR AGO!) that I lost the most important person in my entire life. I watched her be taken by that wretched thief, pancreatic cancer, in just 18 short (but mercifully short) days. It was almost a year ago I had to say good-bye. It is so hard to believe how fast time flies for things that seem so recent but time keeps on moving forward and moving us with it. It was also almost a year ago I re-gained twenty pounds.

Please believe I am not beating myself up for that. I swear I am not. Losing a parent or loved one would make anyone, especially someone just sitting there unable to do anything, pass the time by eating comfort foods. But I know I’ve needed to get back on track harder than I have been because I have been talking about this for a year now and I swore I would not let her cancer beat us twice. Granted there have been other challenges as well – being “vocationally liberated” from my position at the zoo because of restructuring, my own money issues, etc. – but time has passed yet I am still ten pounds heavier. That is the thing that makes me say “grrrrrr” sometimes.

Like I said, losing weight is a struggle. Sometimes its a physical one, like when you go to the gym and work out but don’t seem to be losing anything. Mostly, though, it’s a mental one (at least for me it is), like having to talk myself out of going to the White Castle the other night and getting several cheeseburgers and fries, or motivating myself to get up and workout. Hell, even bypassing the Coke cooler in a store. But this struggle can be overcome. It can, and I know my weight now is proof of that. I may still have ten pounds to re-lose but I am still 165 pounds less than what I weighed in 2005. That is all the motivation I need to energize in the morning to clean my mental room.

And you know something? With just two days to go the only thing I am craving is the sound of my mom’s voice, not ice-cream, cheeseburgers, Chinese food or candy bars. I know she will always be with me and I can’t change what happened but you better damn-well know I am working now, harder than ever, to get these last ten off me. And with that, my friends, it’s time to start the day and clean my room. Have a great day and a wonderful week…

…and know my room is starting to look pretty darn good if I do say so myself.

Today feels like a such Monday to me. I don’t know how that happens it just does. It could be the weather, a three-day weekend or the way we wake up in the morning. Some days just feel like other days of the week. Maybe it’s a glitch in The Matrix.

Perhaps it feels like a Monday because it also happens to be a first, June 1, and the beginning of the work week for most people (hence the feeling of it being Monday). Getting in your car, getting much-needed coffee before waiting in absolutely horrible traffic just to turn around at the end of the day to wait in even more traffic with even less coffee. For me, though, it symbolizes something else. It is June 1 and I am still twelve pounds above re-reaching my weight goal of 225 pounds.

Over the past few weeks my stress eating has been ramping up because in eight more days it will be the one-year anniversary of my mom, JoAnn’s, passing. What does that mean? I’ll tell you what it means. It means I am going to lose at least this two pounds I re-gained so I can get back to my “Battle of the Final Ten” before that anniversary.

I had so wanted to have this weight be done and gone by now. Ya know? A year is a long time, especially when it took me three-and-a-half years to lose 175 pounds in the first place. But because of the everyday things that happen in life, including many stupid food decisions, I still have twelve pounds to re-lose.  I know my pants still fit (thank God) and I know I am not that far from my goal but still…it gets under my skin.

So after writing this weight loss blog today I’m going to continue with my exercise (or as I put it rediscovering my inner sweaty, smelly and grunty child) to make sure these two pounds are gone by June 9. That’s my goal, a do-able and smart one, too. It’s also going to help me get my mind right as it gets closer and closer to the auditions for the “win your OWN show” contest for Oprah and her new network, OWN.

I am also going to think about my basic rules for losing weight:

TELL EVERYONE! (which I do every single day with you, my friends).

WHEN YOU CAN, PURGE YOUR “FAT CLOTHES.” With summer here I need to do that with the wardrobe I just pulled out of storage. This way I can give myself a nice little mental boost as I get back on track to re-losing this weight.

BE FORGIVING OF YOURSELF. In this newer more-Zen way of thinking I am trying my best not to do this.  Today is DAY ONE, at least that’s the way I am thinking about it. Beating yourself (or myself) up is negative energy you (we) don’t need. And o.k., so along my journey I re-gained twent after my mom’s death and I still need to re-lose twelve to get back to my ultimate goal of 225. THAT STILL MEANS I STILL LOST EIGHT OF THE TWENTY AND THAT’S GOOD!!!

USE WHAT YOU HAVE AVAILABLE TO YOU. With summer here it’s a great time to get out and walk, ride a bike, jog, walk the dog, something to get you outside and moving. And remember you (and I) can do sit-ups, push-ups and stairs in our own homes.

KNOW THIS WILL TAKE TIME: Weight loss and maintenance will be a part of my life for the rest of my life and I know this last ten or twelve will come off with time. I can be impatient sometimes but I will be more patient with me because…

YOU ARE WORTH IT SO MAKE THE TIME. …and I will, starting (or re-starting) right now.

Whew! See, I do take my own advice. I, too, need my pep-talks every now and then to keep me going, too. I am, after all, only human. And like everyone on a weight loss journey I especially need to keep these things in my mind during crazy weeks where you wake up on Tuesday but it feels like Monday (and you have to take the red pill – Matrix devotees know what that means). Have a great (and short) week, everyone.

P.S.: I will continue to keep you all posted on when I have to take a break from the blog to be all homeless and stuff waiting to audition for Oprah.

Oh my God. Google has the coolest thing ever! If you visit Google even semi-regularly you know it changes its logo from time to time in celebration or honor of an event, person or anniversary. Well, this weekend, if you visit Google’s home page you will see they are honoring the 30th anniversary (!) of probably the most well-known, popular and addictive video game of the 1980s – Pac-Man. And not only do you see yet another in a long line of way-cool ways Google re-invents it’s logo to suit the event, person or anniversary – BUT YOU ACTUALLY GET TO PLAY PAC-MAN USING YOUR ARROW KEYS! It is freaking awesome!

Man! I remember going to the “game room” or arcade when I was a kid (it’s charming to say game room since and arcade since that was the only place to play games like Pac-Man) and spending quarter after quarter, and hour after hour, playing these games. It also just so happened that my local arcade was also a candy store. If you were willing to NOT spend $.50 of your Pac-Man money on the game itself you could buy a small bag of some sour this or sweet that, strawberry twists or gum balls. It was heaven for a kid…

…an unsuspecting kid who would never have thought i n a million years he’d grow up to grow out to 400 pounds.

It is very easy to say there were (and are) times I feel like that insatiable little yellow guy eating his way through dot after dot, fruit after fruit and ghost after ghost. I still look at certain foods and can almost hear the start up music that accompanied the beginning of each Pac-Man game as I salivate and ready myself to gobble up everything in sight.

I guess what I am trying to say here is that it took me a helluva long time as a kid to break myself of the video game habit (which I did after spending ten dollars in quarters, my entire allowance, in just a couple of hours one Friday) and it took a helluva lot longer to break myself of the unhealthy food cycle I was in as an adult that I don’t want to ever go back to being that way. I love food, don’t get me wrong. I so do. I just had a bad habit of eating everything, eating it fast and always wanting more – like being at a party and eating chip after chip, pretzel after pretzel and dip after dip.

Sound familiar? It should. They created a whole video game craze after it. I can hear the “wocka-wocka” sound now.

These days I exercise the control learned after three-and-a-half years of losing weight and a year-and-a-half of keeping it off to be able to go into a store or restaurant and not eat everything in sight. I wish it weren’t so easy to buy and eat crap. I wish bad foods didn’t taste so freaking good (especially fried mushrooms, hot dogs, buffalo wings, egg rolls, Milky Way candy bars, bacon cheeseburgers, fried chicken, ribs, chips, dips, french fries, etc.), but they do. And I wish it weren’t so easy to have them any time I want them just by getting into my car to go get them. But it is.

This is exactly when and why I pull back to remember what the weight loss journey was like, and that I am worth more than any of the regularly-gobbled up foods I used to consume in mass quantity on a daily basis. I still do have these foods, all of them, in moderation because I don’t want to be Pac-Man anymore. That no one’s going to take these foods away from me. That there are healthier, just as great tasting healthier foods out there. That I don’t need to feel full to feel satisfied. That I want to be at or around 225 to be around for another 30 years (at least) to enjoy foods from all over the world just in smaller portions. And that it’s OK to have them not as every day meals but wonderful treats…

…like visiting Google and having a good game of Pac-Man for old time’s sake.

It’s Saturday. Welcome to the weekend. As I sit here trying to think up stuff to write about I find myself looking out of the stop sign-sized window next to my desk and daydreaming. It’s so easy to get all distracted by the sights of the coming summer – the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees. Hurmph. Sigh. I really shouldn’t be daydreaming, though. I need to get my ass moving today because, even though it is the weekend, I have lots to do. First and foremost, I need to get back to my routine and get back on track.

It’s good to be back into what would be my normal weight loss routine both in terms of eating and (what will be) exercise. Yesterday, I ate a good amount of protein and veggies. I had sausage, egg and cheese for breakfast (minus the English muffin that came with), for lunch I had a Lean Cuisine and for dinner I had grilled chicken and veggies. Very healthy, indeed (at least healthier than what I had been eating).

Now, to keep that rediscovered momentum going I have to get moving to the gym and begin my exercise routine again. Am I looking forward to it? Yes and no. No, because who does after being away from it for a while? The conference in Atlanta took the energy out of me and I am just now getting it back and part of me would much rather expend it looking out of my stop sign and watching birds. Yes, because my body does miss exercise, and I know once I get to the gym and sweat a bit and get the blood moving it will feel awesome.

Many people get off track for a while. For some it can mean you stop losing weight due to a plateau or a holiday, or because you are on holiday (or like me at a conference) and either voluntarily or involuntarily take a break from your routine. No matter the reason, getting off track is very easy to do and can snowball before you realize what is happening. One bad meal can easily turn into a bad day, a bad day can turn into a bad few days or a week, and a bad week can turn into a bad month of poor eating choices before you know it. And while it may not be easy, getting back up sooner versus later is the best thing to do. With that in mind, here is a refresher checklist of things to remember as you (and I) get back on track:

• If you keep a food or weight loss journal reread it to remind yourself of your goals and weight loss progress in the past. What were you doing that worked? How did it feel?
• Set new weight loss goals. Like me, having gained back a few pounds means having to re-lose those pounds and that means resetting my goals of losing a pound a week. So devise a new plan with a new goal in mind and write it down.
• Choose how you will reward yourself and how often. For me, yes, it is having an ice-cold Coke every now and then. So track your progress, give yourself a small reward for every five pounds lost and a bigger reward for reaching each 10 or 20 pound goal.
• (Here’s one I need to keep in mind for today) Don’t expect to be able to do the same amount of exercise you ended with before. Start off light and work to rebuild your program gradually to avoid injuries.
• Resistance and weight training is a big help when getting back on track because of weight training burns fat. Also, muscles you developed earlier will get toned faster because the muscles remember the repeated movements and respond well to it.
• Get back on track with the foods that worked with your body losing weight. For example, for me that was having grilled chicken and veggies. That kind of protein worked great and helped me drop that pound a week. So make sure you re-incorporate your “good” foods  and remove your bad ones.
• Remember your water! Water helps flush your system and keeps you hydrated. You should also drink a glass of water 10 or so minutes before a meal to feel fuller.
• In addition to going to the gym and engaging in an exercise routine, try to find ways to work in exercise throughout the day to fire up your metabolism and burn more fat. If you’re going to lunch, walk to get your food if you can or do a walking cycle around the office, parking lot or around the block.

See, that’s not so bad, is it? Nah. It motivates me, that fer sure (like totally). Oh, and that reminds me. I think I will work out to good 80s music today during my workout. How fun is that? Especially when one of my favorite 80s songs to listen to is a one hit wonder from the group Breakfast Club called…wait for it…”Right on Track.” Check it out and I’ll talk to you guys tomorrow.