Determined To Succeed

I am sitting at my computer so happy I could shout. My best friend, Mike, and his wife had a bouncing baby boy last night and I’m beside myself with joy for them! So a huge shout out to them today.

And while it may not be a Chicago-like blizzard we’re getting socked with snow here in southern New Jersey pretty hard. It’s pretty cool, though, actually. At least I think so. I was getting reports yesterday on Twitter and Facebook of “runs” at the stores for the usual stuff – milk, bread, survival supplies. Bah. Like this stuff won’t melt…

…oh well. People, it ain’t “THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW” so chill.

Heh, chill. I kill me sometimes.

It’s funny, though. When I got the news about Mike I was so happy I just wanted to eat something. Is that weird? Maybe it was my adrenaline going full-tilt as I got the news from our friend, Sue, but my first instinct was to grab a bite. Hmmmm…..I totally admit to having a couple of spoonfuls of peanut butter and jelly, too after hearing the news about Mike’s baby.

Also last night I was watching a movie I had never seen before, “Unforgiven.” It’s a pretty great flick. I know, I know. I’m a little behind the times but I was never big into westerns as a film genre. As I watched this great flick (as I try to see all Best Picture Oscar winners when I can) I found myself munchy again. This time I ate on the last of the Clementine oranges I had in my fridge.

Man, I am so glad I didn’t have really bad snacks in the house. Watching the snow fall outside all hunkered down on the couch watching movies, as well as hearing great news about friends, made for some pretty strong snack cravings.

But I am at 232.3 today which is awesome. I am continuing to trend downward in my weight and it seems that “Bill Power” is working (ok, I know it was cheesy but I use the name when I can). Like I’ve always said seeing that lower number on my scale is better than gorging myself on Milky Ways, ice-cream (although I get a taste for that, too, when it snows for some reason), chocolate cake and more. And I am more than happy I cleaned out my supply of cold and tasty oranges as I watched my western “shoot-’em-up” thinking of being a new “uncle” and of wintry songs…

…let it snow. Let it snow. Let it snow.

However, I find it interesting to think about what seems to trigger “snack attacks.” Just something I am thinking about on this Saturday. So whether you’re getting ready for a weekend out and about or, if you live in the east like I do, staying inside because of the snow storm, be mindful of snacking. Even grabbing a soda is a snack (although that would be great too right about now. See, I am not immune to it, either).

But I am just trying to be good, watch what I eat, exercise and get back down to the sweetest snack of all…

…my goal weight realized.

Happy Monday, everyone. The weekend is over (as are the Grammys finally – longest awards show ever!) and now it’s time to start the week fresh, excited and motivated. Most of all I am excited and motivated by any and all newcomers to the website today. Welcome. I hope you all continue to read me, become new friends and know we are all in this weight loss journey together. If you are visiting for the first time take time and explore the website and don’t be shy about writing me to tell me what you think. I’d love to hear from you.

Yesterday I just happened to be at the Cherry Hill Mall and I ran into a dear old friend of mine, Cheri, who I haven’t seen in months. She was out and about with her 15-month-old son, Jacob, just tooling around. What a pleasant surprise it was to see her and catch up on a little bit of the old and a little bit of the new. We also had a blast watching her little one learn what walking on “new mall legs” is like in a place populated by giants with lots and lots of bags.

I got to thinking afterward how funny it is how food can work the same way. How when you don’t have a certain food for such a long time (i.e. visiting that “old food friend”) and you revisit it sometimes it’s for the good and sometimes for the not-so-good. That happened the other day with my not-so-smart splurge with a Chunky bar. You guys know Chunky? Besides the fact I used to be quite unbelievably chunky this square chocolate bar featured nuts and raisins and I ate then quite often as a child (another reason I turned into the candy bar’s namesake in physical stature). Well, the other day, on Friday, I decided to have one – for old time’s sake – and believe me when I tell you – eh, not-so-good.

It wasn’t that it was bad, but it was very much like that Throwback Pepsi I had earlier in the week. Just as much as I wanted that cool “old friend” feeling that certain foods can bring the actual foods didn’t. Sigh. And that’s OK. taste buds change. And there are many times when my fried rice is that steady “old friend” I visit from time to time when I need a taste of some comfort to ease my mind about something. For that, and sometimes that alone, my taste buds haven’t changed.

But unlike running into wonderful old friends at the mall running into certain food “old friends” isn’t as great as it should be. Quite the contrary. These “old friends” always leave you cold in the end and with more baggage than when you came for the visit (on the hips, thighs and tum tum). Ironically when I ran into Cheri I just happened to be standing directly next to the Auntie Anne’s Pretzel kiosk and I was soooooo craving a warm(ish) pretzel with gooey cheese.

But friends who support, laugh with you and feel your pain keep you from visiting “friends” who aren’t supportive and actually contribute to that pain. Did I need a pretzel? Hell no. And I would have felt worse after having it and the euphoria of the tastes left my palate. I just needed the company of actual friends, that’s all. And along this weight loss journey please know the company of all of you keeps me going and keeps me motivated just like I hope my words do you.

I’ve always been told I’m the kind of person who never meets a stranger. I’ve always liked that because I feel strangers are just friends I haven’t met yet. On this Monday I hope to add more new friends to our fold and to our journey. I hope to add more fans to the Facebook page. I hope more people find, listen to and download my blog. I hope people who want to lose weight but are scared know they have a home here, because the best trips and journeys happen when you have the company of friends to comfort you in ways false friends cannot.

So today I raise my glass (of water, juice or other healthier beverage handy) and toast you all. To all my old friends, thank you for making the journey easier. And to all my new friends I want you to know I am just like you and understand. May we all find comfort, solace, compassion, wit and companionship on the path to our ultimate weight loss goals with each other and…

…to resist yummy pretzels and gooey cheese in malls.

…to resist ice-cold Coca-Colas, Milky Way bars, beef fried rice and other kryptonite foods.

…to go out and exercise together, even if we’re apart while doing it.

…to check in with each other from time to time to see how we’re doing.

…and most of all, to stand up with each other and say I am doing this because I, like all of us here, am going to reach my goal weight because I am determined to succeed!

I swear, sometiimes you can equate gaining weight to snow.

Throughout the week weathercasters in the Philadelphia area (who are quite regularly wrong) predicted that the snow/precipitation cycle heading our way would basically miss South Jersey. So as I watched a few flakes fall I figured “eh, this is nothing. It will be a few flakes and nothing more.”

By the end of the night South Jersey received about two or so inches of snow. Not a lot by any stretch (especially for someone from Chicago) but enough to make you say “Jeez. Where did this come from?”

Weight can be the same way, and through a few days of accumulated “bad” eating here and there (you know, having beef fried rice here or Milky Way there) weight can increase just like that snow did. All it takes is us saying “eh, this is nothing. It will be a few calories and nothing more.”

But this time the inches we gain won’t melt away as easily because they’re on your waist instead of on the ground.

As we are about to enter a brand new week full of possibility, work, stress, emotions, etc., take time to note HOW you are eating and WHEN. I know I have mentioned this a lot lately. That’s because I’ve done some serious soul-searching as to the WHYs I eat (or overeat). I pay attention more to WHEN and HOW MUCH because when I have lots on my mind on which to chew I tend to want something to eat – so that I’m physically chewing on something at the same time.

Knowing this pattern helps me more than you’ll ever know.

So pay attention to the small “flakes” in your life. Be them candy, popcorn, egg rolls, chips, doughnuts, fries, Milky Ways, etc. Each thing by itself won’t be enough to derail you. But added up, these can pose a serious threat to your weight loss journey. But more to the point, this is the time when you need to start examining what’s going on inside your head and heart to figure out the source of your stress, anxiety, sadness, nervousness, etc. – emotions that could lead to excessive and unnecessary extra eating. In any weight loss journey saying “I love myself enough to begin” is essential and saying “I will take care of me, my weight and my health” is key.

This way when it snows you’ve already laid down a layer of salt so your streets are clear and no “snow” accumulates. And the road you travel is a much easier-traveled road for it.

Today I got my TV reception back.

Turns out that my satellite dish was just a bit out of alignment from all the high winds and rain we had on Monday here in southern New Jersey. Although I went outside to see if I could fix the problem I didn’t readily see a solution. It was dark and the solution didn’t seem as simple as just readjusting the dish a few degrees to get the signal.

Funny how much this actually mirrors and sounds like weight loss.

When I was 400.6 pounds my satellite was seriously out of alignment – with my mind, my heart and my spirit. I couldn’t see how much I needed to just shift my life a few degrees so that the message became clear. I needed to step back and not see food as an automatic part of the solution.

Do not get me wrong. My weight loss dish can go out of alignment any day of the week, and does. Depending on my mood, my frustration level or my anxiety level my dish can go out of whack and I become susceptible to my kryptonite foods (beef fried rice, Milky Way bars and ice-cold Coca-Colas). But I got a piece of advice today from the dish repair guy that I will remember for the rest of my life.

When you don’t get signal just adjust the dish slightly.

It seems simple but the more I thought about it it’s awesome advice. If I start to feel the “need” to eat I’m going to take a moment and think about “why” I want to eat. “Why” my dish came out of alignment and “why” I want to solve it with food. Then I’m gonna realign my dish by solving the problem that caused my dish to go out of whack. Am I stressed out because of something with my computer (like the other day when the sound on my computer didn’t work and I couldn’t do a podcast)? Or am I just missing my mama and needing a good cry (instead of an order of fries)?

By stepping back and figuring out the “why” we can all deal with at least part of that automatic need to feed our mouths with food stuffs. At least that’s how I will be looking at it from now on. I know I’m a stress eater. I also know I’m an emotional eater. Simply knowing and thinking about those things helps me navigate those times when my reception becomes fuzzy.

Because once I recognize those things that dish comes back into alignment, the picture comes back into incredibly sharp focus and all is better (and clearer) in the world.