Determined To Succeed

“The Book of Eli” & “Legion” – Three Buckets of Popcorn out of Four for “The Book of Eli” and Two-and-three-quarters Buckets of Popcorn out of Four for “Legion”

Writing these reviews was tough. I saw both of these movies on the same day without even thinking both were primarily about the same thing – the salvation of humanity through faith (or at least some aspect of faith). The reason writing this review was tough is because I can’t really write separate reviews. Well, OK. I could write separate reviews but both are so similar in message that I feel compelled to join them both into one.

Let’s start with the plots of each:

In “Legion,” an out-of-the-way diner in Paradise Falls (get it?) becomes the unlikely battleground for the survival of the human race. When God loses faith in humankind, he sends his legion of angels to bring on the Apocalypse. Humanity’s only hope lies in a group of strangers trapped in a desert diner with the Archangel Michael (Paul Bettany) as their only protection.

In “The Book of Eli,” Eli (Denzel Washington) has been on a journey for 30 years, walking west across America after a cataclysmic war that turned the earth into a total wasteland. The world has become a lawless civilization where people must kill or be killed. The barren roads belong to gangs of cutthroats who rob and kill for water, a pair of shoes, a lighter, or just for fun. Eli is a peaceful man who only acts in self defense, and becomes a warrior with unbelievable killing skills when he is challenged. After the war and the “Big Flash”, Eli was guided by a higher power to a hidden book and given the task of protecting the book and taking it to its final destination. Eli guards the book with his life, because he knows that the book is the only hope that humanity has for its future.

Separately, I liked “Eli” more than I liked “Legion.” I thought it had better action and wasn’t as silly as “Legion.” “Legion,” while having some cool special effects (like an ass-kicking, fanged grandma who’d just as soon kill ya and eat ya as to look at ya, and angels’ wings used as both flying mechanisms and shields against bullets) was silly at times, had big, gaping logic holes and acting so bad at times it was laughable. Kind of like 80s movies but with a higher budget and better cast. Eli had seemingly big holes, too. That is until the very end when the secret of the movie is revealed and all makes sense very much like “The Sixth Sense.” What prevents me from liking “Eli” more was its blatant stealing of “I am Legend,” “Mad Max” and “Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.” Even the bad guy (played by Gary Oldman) who runs the only decent human town left reminded me too much of the fantastic Tina Turner in “Thunderdome.”

What struck me most about both films is the subtext of humanity, its need to be saved and us always looking to something to save us. In “Legion,” God, Himself, has lost faith in humankind and He and the survivors in the diner NEED a baby to be born (presumably the Christ child reborn) as proof mankind can be saved. In “The Book of Eli,” salvation is an actual book carried and protected by Eli. Further, Gary Oldman’s bad guy will stop at nothing to have it because of the power it will have over those looking for salvation, strength and hope in post-apocalyptic times. “Eli” also had some cool subtextual things to say about televangelists and their use of their respective pulpits to gain false power over people – people who seemingly need it the most.

Is humanity that far gone? On some days I would say yes. I mean how can televangelist Pat Robertson dare say that the tragedies of Haiti and Hurricane Katrina were brought on by the people themselves? Bastard. How can there be suicide bombers in the Middle East, people shooting up former places of employment and Osama bin Laden (bigger bastard) if the world weren’t in need of saving? I wish I knew. But I also know that people have been, are and can be not just good but great and that that greatness comes from their hearts, minds and souls.

As entertainments, both movies are pretty cool. I would readily watch “Legion” at night on cable (unlike the abysmal “Daybreakers” which should have all its prints destroyed) and I’d watch “The Book of Eli” anytime. It’s good. Not great, but good.

As for humanity, I really do hope I see in my lifetime such a great good I can go to my final resting place knowing the world will be OK. Even though close to $500 million has been donated to Haiti I want to see it finally get to its people. I want to see Port-au-Prince and New Orleans and the 9^th Ward rebuilt stronger than ever. I also want to see the world’s poor peoples have fresh water, fresh foods and a chance at real life and not just survival. I want to see hatred go away, at least a part of it. And I want to see people unite not just because of a tragedy like Hurricane Katrina or Haiti but because we WANT to.

That is the faith people need in and of themselves. That is of what both movies speak. That is the truest hope for all humankind and that is the strength we will need to prove to God in “Legion,” to prove to Oldman’s character in “Eli” and to the rest of people out there who have lost their faith.

We have it. It’s just waiting for us to finally use it not because we have to but because we finally WANT to.

“Legion” – Rated R for strong bloody violence, and language.

Runtime: 100 min

Paul Bettany     …         Michael

Lucas Black      …         Jeep Hanson

Tyrese Gibson   …         Kyle Williams

Adrianne Palicki            …         Charlie

Charles S. Dutton          …         Percy Walker

Kevin Durand   …         Gabriel

Jon Tenney       …         Howard Anderson

Willa Holland    …         Audrey Anderson

Kate Walsh       …         Sandra Anderson

Dennis Quaid    …         Bob Hanson

“The Book of Eli” – Rated R for some brutal violence and language

Runtime: 118 min

Denzel Washington        …         Eli

Gary Oldman    …         Carnegie

Mila Kunis        …         Solara

Ray Stevenson  …         Redridge

Jennifer Beals   …         Claudia

Evan Jones       …         Martz

Joe Pingue        …         Hoyt

Frances de la Tour        …         Martha

Michael Gambon           …         George

Tom Waits        …         Engineer

Yesterday I received a wonderful e-mail from someone who just happened to stumble upon the site while searching for information on weight loss. I thought this is awesome. People are slowly but surely finding me and spreading the word. Sweet. And to that person, welcome! Glad to have you (and everyone) join in!

But the author of the e-mail said something to me that kind of stuck with me after I read the e-mail.

“Your movie reviews confuse me.”

I have been asked several times why I have movie reviews on a website that focuses on weight loss and my weight loss journey. The answer is simple. I love movies. They are a part of me and have been ever since I was a boy growing up in Chicago.

My mom, JoAnn, loved going to “the show.” She used to take me to see all kinds of movies, some inappropriate for my age at the time. But she did something I think all parents should do with kids. She said to me “Bill, none of what you’re seeing is real. It’s all pretend.” And with that simple statement she wiped away fear, confusion and probably years upon years of therapy from the images I saw on the silver screen.

As I grew up I realized that movies are one of the great equalizers in society. No matter what movie you’re seeing EVERYONE, regardless of size, is seeing the same thing. It was also a dark comfy place to hide the fact I was getting larger. Yes, it was one of my comfort zones. It allowed me to physically hide in the dark and then have something about which I could speak intelligently. Instead of talking about weight I could talk about how cool this movie was or how bad that movie sucked.

I have always loved movies and always will. They are a part of who I am. They were a part of my job experience working for both the now-defunct Loews Cineplex movie theater chain (now AMC Theaters). Most of all they will forever be a link to my Mama. I love you, Ma, and thank you for imparting a love of movies to me.

Today, I put movie reviews on this website to help everyone get a sense of who I am as a person. I’m not just about weight loss. I’m a human being. Also, going to “the show” is an experience that does have food tied to it. I don’t ever mention that in my reviews (and maybe I should) but subtextually it does. And before you ask, yes I still eat Raisinettes and buttered popcorn watching movies.

Losing weight is part of who I am but it’s not all I am. All of us have interests outside of weight loss and writing movie reviews helps me show you bits of my brain and my heart…

…as well as helps you steer clear of true crap like the new movie “Daybreakers.” Jeez, I wish I could get that two hours of my life back.

So I hope you can put up with my rantings, opinion and absolute need to share my movie reviews with you guys even on a website devoted to weight loss. It’s a fun way to say there is life out in the world beginning, during or after any weight loss journey.

Definitely Get On Board and See “Up In The Air” – Four Buckets of Popcorn out of Four

Live long enough in this crazy world and you might get let go from a job. I know it sounds harsh, especially in this economy, but it is, unfortunately, a reality. One yours truly has lived through twice now (and as recently as August 2009). And no matter whether you are let go, fired, laid off, downsized, terminated (insert your language of choice here), there’s nothing that takes away its initial sting even if at the end of it all you feel “vocationally liberated” as I did (a weird mixture, indeed).

But as I sat and watched George Clooney tell people their services are no longer needed I felt that weird mixture again because “Up In The Air,” one of the best movies of 2009, does such a great job of using someone with no personal connections whatsoever, not even to his own family, .to give a “human dignity” to job loss.

Clooney plays Ryan Bingham whose job is to fire people from theirs. His home is in the hotels in which he stays, in the airports in which he gets his free sushi and drinks and in the planes in which he travels. He’s truly portable, living out of a suitcase and loving every second of it. His boss hires arrogant young Natalie (Anna Kendrick, a shoe-in for Best Supporting Actress) whose developed a method of video conferencing that will allow termination without ever leaving the office, essentially threatening the existence Ryan so cherishes. Determined to show the naive girl the error of her logic, Ryan takes her on one of his cross country firing expeditions, but as she starts to realize the disheartening realities of her profession, he begins to see the downfalls to his way of life just after he’s met the frequent-traveler woman of his dreams (Vera Farmiga).

I cannot say enough about this movie. The performances are stellar, especially by the three leads. George Clooney is always likable on-screen even when he plays a bad guy (“From Dusk ‘til Dawn”), and it is that charm he emanates that makes you root for him so. You want him to be happy, and after he meets Farmiga’s Alex you really want him to give up his lonely life and settle in a place he can truly call home. You also want Kendrick’s Natalie to fail in her video conferencing. Not because she’s unintelligent but because it (all puns intended) flies in the face of Clooney’s lifestyle. Plus, Natalie represents so many self-entitled young assistants out there these days who think an e-mail, text message or video conference replace actual human contact – a handshake, face-to-face meeting. Hell, even a phone call. That their way is better and more efficient when all it does is further the disconnect between us humans even in situations involving termination.

One of the things I loved most about this movie is the absolute chemistry between Very Farmiga and George Clooney, who could very well make more movies together and I’d go see ‘em. They are cute, sexy, romantic, and just as busy as the other in this film – perfect for each other with glitches that you’ll have to see the film to understand.

I can’t say as I’ve seen many perfect movies in 2009 but this is one of them. The irony is ultimately “Up In The Air” will be an in-flight movie, catering to those who sacrifice their time away from their own homes, beds and loved ones in pursuit of work excellence. I am curious as to what they think of this movie. I’m sure it hits very close to home for them. Traveling these days is far from easy, particularly with even tighter restrictions on security and air travel. How people can do that for so long – my heart goes out to them. It can be lonely indeed, no matter how much per diem a company gives for hotel dinners or how many miles you get to keep. This movie makes you feel that if you didn’t already.

And Clooney’s Bingham may achieve millions upon millions of miles of air travel but in the end it only leads him nowhere where his only family is whoever happens to be sitting next to him on his next flight to God knows where…

Rated R for language and some sexual content

Runtime: 109 min

George Clooney…Ryan Bingham

Vera Farmiga…Alex Goran

Anna Kendrick…Natalie Keener

Jason Bateman…Craig Gregory

Amy Morton…Kara Bingham

Melanie Lynskey…Julie Bingham

J.K. Simmons…Bob

Sam Elliott…Maynard Finch

Danny McBride            …Jim Miller

Zach Galifianakis…Steve

“Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire” – Three Buckets of Popcorn out of Four

I really struggled with writing this review for two reasons.

One, it’s hard to write a review of movies based on such harsh subject matter that the lines between reviewing an entertainment and commenting on a reality sometimes blur.

Two, I am going to go against the grain on this one and go on record as saying while I thought this picture was “good” (again, hard to think of it in terms of it being an entertainment) I wasn’t all that impressed with it.

In 1987, an obese, illiterate and black teenager, Claireece “Precious” Jones (Gabourey Sidibe), lives in the New York City neighborhood of Harlem with her dysfunctional family. She has been raped and impregnated twice by her own father, Carl, and suffers constant physical, mental and emotional abuse from her unemployed mother, Mary (Mo’Nique). Inspired by her new teacher Ms. Rain, (Paula Patton), Precious begins learning to read. Precious also begins to see a social worker, Mrs. Weiss (Mariah Carrey), who helps Precious see that she can turn her own life around.

On the good side, I could see the reality in Sidibe’s performance, and for anyone whose seen her do interviews she is SO not Precious. Her performance should get her an Oscar nomination because the Academy loves films and characters like this. It is also an uplifting story that I’m sure (and hopeful) people will see and have it inspire them to make changes in their lives if things are bad (or worse) for themselves.

On the bad side, to me this film is a fairly standard uplifting tale. I mean, seriously. The only people who would not want Precious to get out from the tyrannical rule of her bitch mother are just heartless shells of people I’d have nothing to do with anyway. Who wouldn’t want this girl to succeed? She has nowhere to go BUT up in this case, and that is sad, indeed.

My main problem I guess comes not from the film but with so much attention being given to Mo’nique’s performance, not that it isn’t stark or affecting (any performance where I want someone to get theirs is a good one). The problem I have is that people are willing to throw awards at performances by African-Americans for such negative, downtrodden and unromantic roles it almost seems like THAT’S the only reality people expect to see instead of seeing the other realities that truly are. And what if she was in, say, “It’s Complicated” instead of Meryl Streep? Would awards people even care? Ok, enough of my soap box.

Should you see “Precious?” Sure. It’s a good film with a good message, and you should see it before the Oscars. Also, Lenny Kravitz and Mariah Carey are great in this film (even though you see little of them and hardly recognize them). But as an “entertainment” it doesn’t compare to other harsh “slice-of-urban-life” films like “Boyz ‘N The Hood” or “8 Mile.” Sure it’s good, but there are better.

Gabourey ‘Gabby’ Sidibe… Precious (as Gabourey Sidibe)

Mo’Nique… Mary

Paula Patton…Ms. Rain

Mariah Carey… Mrs. Weiss

Sherri Shepherd …Cornrows

Lenny Kravitz…Nurse John

Rated R for child abuse including sexual assault, and pervasive language.

Runtime: 110 min

“AVATAR” – Two-and-a-Half Buckets of Popcorn out of Four

Oh man. When am I going to stop buying into the hype generated by Hollywood over films supposed to herald the next great age of filmmaking? I fell for it once with George Lucas’ “Star Wars: Episode One – The Phantom Menace,” a film that patted itself so heartedly on the back for its ground-breaking special effects but so lacked story I don’t care of I ever see it again.

And I am one of the biggest “Star Wars” fans I know (the original, non-Special Edition trilogy, please and thank you).

Now here comes James Cameron’s “Avatar,” a film that visually is everything “Phantom Menace” wanted to be but sits right along side it as a movie so devoid of real characterization, compassion and humanity I can say now that I’ve seen it I don’t ever need to see it again.

In the future a paraplegic marine veteran, Jake Sully (Sam Worthington), decides to take his deceased brother’s place on a mission to the distant world of Pandora is brought to Pandora, a planet inhabited by the Na’vi, a blue humanoid race with their own language and culture. Sully starts out as a military grunt whose mission it is to infiltrate the Na’vi to get them to relocate so that humans can get their hands on a precious material stupidly named “unobtanium”scattered throughout their rich woodland. However, after living among them, falling in love with one of them and learning of greedy corporate figurehead Parker Selfridge’s intentions of driving off the Na’vi by any means necessary including extermination, Jake decides to fight for the survival of not just the Na’vi but for Pandora, itself.

Sounds good, right? Meh. It is and it isn’t.

I place the blame for the film’s utter lack of heart on the film’s writer and director, James Cameron. As writer and director of some of the best futuristic/Action/Adventure films of all time (“Aliens,” “Terminator,” Terminator 2: Judgment Day,” “True Lies,” and “Titanic”) he should know better. He may have created a new reason to see films on a big screen (and this one should be seen on the biggest, best screen you can if you go) but the reason I will watch his other films any day of the week with no arm twisting what-so-ever is because at the center of the action lay human stories and characters we care about. In other words, better writing and less dependency on special effects.

This film is two hours and forty-two minutes long but I wanted twenty more minutes. I wanted my backstory to explain the following:

1)      What happened to the Earth that was so horrible we needed this “unobtanium” so badly we were willing to kill for it?

2)      What the hell happened to any renewable sources of energy like solar power, or even human-made nuclear power? And why weren’t those options?

3)      How long had we tried to diplomatically negotiate with the Na’vi for their “unobtanium” and why wasn’t that working? Was it because Pandora somehow “needed” it’s minerals (a detail mentioned but never fully explored in the film)?

4)      What is the backstory of this horrible “company” that wants “unobtanium” so bad?

5)      Why did this company hire mercenaries to carry out the raids on the Na’vi? Did world governments not want official military action?

6)      And if we didn’t give a rat’s ass about the Na’vi people why not just nuke ‘em from space (ala Hicks/Ripley from “Aliens”) and just take it afterward?

Grrrrrr.

There has to come a point in every movie that filmmakers allow you to get on the train. It helps you enjoy the movie more, explain the movie more and make you feel more a part of the story and experience. There was no way in “Avatar” to understand how we got to what we have to accept as the beginning of the film. Cameron doesn’t stop the train to let us on. Instead he just throws you into his special effects-laden story and expects the visual effects slight of hand to distract you from what is missing – an actual movie you care about.

Shame on you, James Cameron. You are a better writer and filmmaker than that.

When I was in line to see “Avatar” I decided to have some fun. I approached the young kid selling tickets I asked for “The Empire Strikes Back.” Instead of a smirk he actually looked it up in his system and said “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t see that movie here.” I asked him how old he was and he answered 17. Moreover, he had never heard of “The Empire Strikes Back.” I was so shocked I turned to the people in line behind me and shouted “He’s never heard of ‘The Empire Strikes Back!’”

The reason I’m relaying this tale is because I weep for this kid, and his and future generations of movie goers, who do not know the beauty of films like the original “Star Wars” trilogy, “Aliens,” etc., which told stories and made us care no matter how many guns were blazing. Hell, Sigourney Weaver, who is also in “Avatar,” was nominated for an Oscar for her performance in 1986’s “Aliens.” What breaks my heart is that the mediocrity that is “Avatar” is all this 17-year-old kid has, and he will think it’s great.

And he would be wrong.

“Avatar” is great to look at. But afterward the film leaves the mind just as easily as you leave the theater. And why? Because it never visited your heart.

Sam Worthington…Jake Sully

Zoe Saldana…Neytiri

Sigourney Weaver…Dr. Grace Augustine

Stephen Lang…Colonel Miles Quaritch

Michelle Rodriguez…Trudy Chacon

Giovanni Ribisi…Parker Selfridge

Joel Moore…Norm Spellman (as Joel David Moore)

CCH Pounder…Moat

Wes Studi…Eytukan

Laz Alonso…Tsu’tey

Dileep Rao…Dr. Max Patel

Matt Gerald…Corporal Lyle Wainfleet

MPAA: Rated PG-13 for intense epic battle sequences and warfare, sensuality, language and some smoking.

Runtime: 162 min