Determined To Succeed

Hey there. Hi there. Ho there. Although, I guess I shouldn’t say “ho there,” especially since I journey back to the Big Apple today to drop off some demo reels and stuff to agents and could very well pass a few while walking up and down the streets of Manhattan. You never know where they could be lurking (just kidding).

Yesterday, I had another awesome martial arts workout with my sensei, Doug Shaffer. We worked on my abs yesterday. Ugh! Man oh man, did they feel that yesterday! I did everything from crunches to some other kind of crunch, to a rolling-on-the-floor-on-your-back-to-keep-an-aggressor-in-your-sights kind of move – all designed to give you a better ab workout. And they did. And the stretches I did after the session helped keep the after effects to a minimum (actually, at this point I only feel it in one hip – not bad). But I absolutely love kicking and punching the bag. What a release!

Today’s test of Bill Power will come from resisting food in the City That Never Sleeps. You know me and my addiction/fascination with a particular Halal cart and its yummy-ass food. I know, I know. I said I would have whatever I wanted to eat on my weight loss journey but I was bad enough last week and am trying my best to re-re-re-re-lose my weight so I don’t need more rice, bread and Greek sauce gumming up my increasingly-better works. But the grilled chicken, on the other hand, might make for a great lunch. I will have to see.

I am excited to go to New York today. Above and beyond eating, today’s trip is me getting back on track after the disappointment of finding out I was not a finalist in the online Oprah thing. As I explained before, my emotional eating over that result was my way of controlling what I could in the situation, turning my sub into the path of the oncoming torpedoes so I didn’t get scuttled. And now I’m getting back out there to go live my dreams or go down trying. It will always be better to say you tried than saying you didn’t try at all, and that is for weight loss and anything in life.

I also have to tell you guys I have gone “cold turkey” on the Cokes, too. I knew I had to. They may be my one truest weakness but if those ab exercises are ever going to work to get me six-pack abs and not a 24-case of flabs then I need to lay off the drink. I have also been eating way better these last few days – chicken and other proteins, watching portions and drinking water. That combined with the exercises should get me back to the Battle of the Final Ten soon enough then on-track to re-reach that ultimate goal of 225.

Funny. There are times, like in the movie “Real Genius,” when a complete meltdown is exactly what you need to get yourself on the right path. It took me a couple of days and a few really bad meals to get back on track and say “enough of this! I’m gonna do this no matter what.” It may sound cheesy but it’s true. It’s true I tell ya.’

Today’s blog is going to be short and sweet (and admittedly disjointed – sorry about that) so I can get my ass on the road. And my workout today will consist of walking to four different offices in a big ass city that are probably miles apart when the blocks in-between are added up. But that is O.K., too. I planned it that way and walks can be very, very good for not just the body but the soul, as well.

So get up, everybody! Leave all that blah behind and seize your day! Make the most of it for yourself. Join me in taking a walk today to get back to it all. I may be in New York and you at work but take a walk, even if it’s one circuit around your office building. Or go walk your dogs and cats (saying “ho there” if you happen to see any – just kidding again) and remember no matter what is going on, if you fall off and have a bad eating or non-exercise day,  you will get back on track. And that, my friends, is what a journey is all about. I will fill you in tomorrow on all the fun and exciting happenings today.

Oh, and I better not get a damned parking ticket! As much as I work out these days, it’s those fines that really make me sore.

Well, I’ve made it back from New York City and Book Expo America. I didn’t really know what to expect but I know I expected much more than actually happened. I thought there’d be agents, publicists and publishers just swarming in a little area waiting to fly to new authors like bees pollinating flowers. But noooooooooo, and that is OK. Everything is a learning experience, isn’t it? And I will get there one day. And there is one important thing I learned. When I am bored, scared, overwhelmed and feeling alone I want to eat. Here’s what happened…

It was just about 10:30 a.m. or so yesterday and I had already made my way around the gigantic Jacob Javits Convention Center once to get the lay of the land and I was feeling run down, a bit overwhelmed and sort of bored. So I found a quiet spot on the level just above the food court (that was by coincidence, by the way) and kind of put my head in my hands. Then it hit me – I wasn’t thinking anymore about “ok, what’s my next move at this event?” and “how can I try to get in front of these people?” No, my mind was wandering down one level to one or two of the restaurants I could see from my vantage point wondering what yummy goodness they were already serving up.

“Dammit!” I said to myself. “It’s only 10:30 a.m. and I’m hungry?!”

I then got to thinking about it all. I was out of my comfort zone. I was in a huge place feeling quite small and insecure. I didn’t know anybody so I was feeling alone. I was disappointed I didn’t get to do what I had gone there to do. I wanted to give up. That is exactly when the demon comes for me telling me to eat, and it’s a pretty powerful demon. It sits down next to me and tells me that it will be comforting to fill my belly with something so I don’t feel so alone, that eating will give me purpose when I felt I had none. Eating would make it all better.

It was then I raised my head slightly and realized I wasn’t alone at all. My demon had followed me to the Big Apple and it was trying its best to get me to go back to the old ways. I looked around at all the people walking around in their badges – some with notepads, others with cell phones – looking like they all had purpose, and way more purpose than me. It felt pretty crappy. But I knew if I gave in and listened to my demon I would have felt crappier. Just because I didn’t have meetings set up or didn’t know anybody was no reason to just start shoveling food into my mouth. I was better than that. I am better than that, and worth more than that no matter what kind of situation I’m in.

So unbeknownst to the people sitting to my left (a woman who seemed annoyed she had to share her temporary desk/bench space with me – hell she should have seen my wide load at 400 pounds) and my right (another guy, flipping through pages in a notebook, jotting reminders to himself while looking at his iPhone to see his next appointment) I bade good-bye to that demon. I sent him on his way.I was going to have lunch, that was fer sure (like totally) but I was going to do it on my terms, in my own time and in my own way.

What tricks the mind can play on oneself never ceases to amaze me, and I almost gave in to it. But I waited and did what I knew my mom, JoAnn, would have done, and what I have done on many occasions – just struck up conversation with people. Who knew? They could have been agents? Why did I do this? Because it’s o.k. to say “hi. I’m a stranger in a strange land and I don’t know anyone. Can you help me?” When you do that you take the power away from your demons and give it back to yourself. You start finding your own path and your own way through a situation. And it feels better.

I eventually did make my way to the food court but I waited until one o’clock to do so (when I was legitimately hungry). Wow, that was an overwhelming experience, too. Throngs of people all swarming around the too-few tables like angry bees out of the hive. I look around at my food choices. They had Soul Food world, Burger and Fries World, Italian Food World…and all for hefty (WAY TOO HEFTY) prices. I ended up at Hot and Cold World for a turkey and pastrami sandwich on rye (I was in New York and had a taste for deli), a bag of chips and a bottle of Coca-Cola. An ice-cold bottle of Coca-Cola. What can I say? I needed a small taste of comfort to get me through the rest of the day.

I may not be perfect but as a great, great man who belted out one of the City’s great anthems – Francis Albert Sinatra – once sang (and I like closing the blog in song)…

“I did it myyyyyyyyyyy waaaaaaayyyyyyyy.”

Hey there, my friends. First I have to say I am so sorry about yesterday. I do not know who that drunk guy was who hijacked my computer and started telling stories about me drinking and carrying on and such at – what do you young people call it – a party.

Alright, alright. You caught me. That was me, and I have to say that after taking my medicine, literally and figuratively, I am back from the undead and back to form (at least I have most of my mental faculties back with no pounding headache). As for the rest of yesterdayI think I ate OK. I had a chicken sandwich for lunch and a turket burger for dinner (they both sounded good to my rehabbing brain). I just have to keep this good eating momentum going as I get ready to tackle me day in New York. Yep, once again I find myself in New York City, The Big Apple, the city that never sleeps, for Book Expo America, the nation’s largest – you guessed it – book fair, where hundreds of agents, publishers and authors gather to tout and find the next “big thing.”

However, between walking the walk and talking the talk I am worried about what they will have to eat at this thing. Sure, there is a food court but I know I will want to eat healthier than that. Hmmmmm. I guess I will find out when I get there.

I think of it as the little angel on one shoulder and the little devil on the other.  I know my workout today is going to be walking the floor of the Jacob Javtz trying to schmooze people, something that could potentially burn me lots of calories. That is the angel. Making the most out of the situation. Knowing I will get in a workout through walking and trying to eat as best I can.

But I know lately I have been distracted, nervous, worried, anxious and concerned about life. And when that happens I stress eat and it’s those calories that offset the calories I burn. That is the little devil. The little one who will tempt me to eat badly today at the convention because I am in need of comfort being a stranger in a strange land…and that I’ll be ”walking it all off.”

And there you have it. It is the eternal struggle. Good vs. Evil. Bad against Good. Healthy foods vs. crap. But despite the constant back and forth I think I find a decent half-way ground between the two. I have tried so hard to be Zen about things lately and I know I will win this ongoing “Battle of the Final Ten.” I just need to eat better and exercise. It’s what’s gotten me to this point and I ain’t stopping now.

Of course I will fill you guys in on what I eat and do (and work off). Just keep your fingers crossed for me. That the little angel wins tomorrow and I don’t get too tempted to visit the food court or my fave Halal cart.

If I haven’t said this before, I am so glad you are all out there. Knowing you are helps me so, so much to stay good. It also helps my angel’s wings take flight and puts my little devil right where he belongs – hanging off to the side by his horns deflated and defeated…that is until the next time the two meet on the field of battle. Me.

Stress. It is everywhere. It is constant. Sometimes like the air we breathe. Sometimes like the sun that rises every morning. All our lives have it in one form or another (and I’d love to have your life if you don’t) and you wake up with it like a cup of coffee in the morning (oooh, that sounds good).

I’ve been feeling lots of stress lately. You can probably tell by how I’ve been writing (and eating) I have lots going on. My video entry in the Oprah “Win Your OWN Show” contest, the upcoming live audition for that, Book Expo America (which I am planning on attending this week in New York), switching cable companies, folding laundry, trying to figure out where/how money’s coming, cleaning up, and way more stuff I can’t even think about at the moment (even my coffee maker freaked out on me, btw, and leaked water and grounds everywhere) has me anxious to do one thing – eat.

Thank God I am only keeping healthier snacks in the house these days. Some prunes (yes, prunes. And no, I am not 90-years-old. I just happen to like prunes), raisins, crackers and some granola are way better to have than candy bars, egg rolls and soda (yes, believe it or not I steered clear of Coke this weekend (well, pretty much. I had only one as a treat) and didn’t stress drink. Man! Is that even a phrase?

I have also been trying to be Zen and not so hard on myself, too (a little voice in my head tells me I have been lately a bit too much). I am trying on both fronts and it does seem to be working at least a little. But in the meantime stuff isn’t getting done, like that laundry and other life stuff.

This is one of those times I am thankful I have undergone my weight loss journey. I can now recognize when I am anxious, exasperated, worried, afraid, nervous, excited – all the emotions that would make my pop a box of Dunkin’ Donuts Munchkins in a heartbeat, or want to order some beef fried rice and egg rolls, or drink three or four Cokes to drown my worries. I may be stressed but I still have control over me and as long as I have that I am going to control what goes into my body so I can control my weight and the choices I make regarding food.

Today, I am down a half-pound from when I went to the conference which is good, and still within my “Battle of the Final Ten.” I may have been fighting this battle for a while now but it’s a battle fought on many fronts – in the gym and in life. We fight it every day. And it’s hard to resist the temptations (”My Girl. My Girl. Talking ’bout my girl…” sorry, just wanted to be goofy and break out into song) of food. It is, especially when food is everywhere. Kind of like in the movies when the hero has to make the treacherous walk/drive down a seedy street and there are pimps, hookers, drug dealers and gang-bangers lining both sides just lying in wait for the hero to step just a little off the path.

Sigh. So today I will be good. It’s all I can do. I will start this Monday with my cup of frustrating coffee (I just cleaned up the mess) and will start my day knowing it’s only Monday and that it’s OK.  I may have grounds to clean up, and laundry to fold, and a floor to vacuum, and bills to pay, and errands to run…

…but I am alive and breathing and doing OK with my weight. That is a gift and one I cherish every day. As long as I have those things I have the strength for anything.

Crap!!!! I’m so behind the eight ball!!!!

How many times do we start the day saying that phrase? A lot, I know. Even today, my weight loss blog is soooo late (and my complete apologies to you all) because I’m just returned from the conference in Atlanta and I am pretty wiped out. Enough so that I slept really late today and had to make an early appointment before I sat down to put fingers to keyboard.

While there may be some debate as to the origin of the phrase “behind the eight ball” we usually take it to mean being “in a tight spot,” or “not likely to win.” But do we all realize how much we place ourselves “behind the eight ball,” especially when it comes to losing weight? Or in life? Not enough, I’d imagine.

Recently I’ve tried to be way more Zen about weight loss. I said yesterday that I was sure I’ve gained weight at the conference I attended, and I did. But it was only two-and-a-half pounds. Not too shabby for having such a limited food selection and not working out the way I wanted to. But I know I will lose it (or in my case re-lose it. Or is it re-re-lose it?). I am just choosing to not, I repeat NOT, put myself behind the eight ball when it comes to this stuff. I am choosing not to stress out about certain things, like gaining a couple of pounds on a business trip, waking up late and having to get to a meeting before writing, because that makes me nervous and anxious and all sorts of discombobulated – key factors in me stress eating. See how that works? In other words we are, most times, not behind an eight ball at all, we only think we are.

All too often we choose not to see how much we can actually calm our own lives down. I know there are times when we think we screw up, do rash or impulsive things, worry, don’t have enough time to finish projects, meet enough people, get from points A to Z, etc. But on our weight loss journey, as I’ve always said, the number one person you have to take care of is you. You are the most important thing, deadline, task or meeting you have to do.  Most of all, it will be OK. It is OK.

This blog may be late but I am OK with that. I just know I have a lot to tackle today and I will get to it. Like my exciting entry in Oprah’s “Win Your OWN Show” contest. Like planning to go to New York for Book Expo America next week to try to get in front of publishers. Like even paying bills. It will all get done. I just need to focus, not get caught up in how many things I need to do and just do them, one by one, until they are done.

So today’s blog my be short but it’s sweet and to the point. By just calming down and relaxing I can take away my nervous “need” for different crappy foods that may be fast but are unhealthy. By calming down I can take control of my day and my life and my eating so I know I take a moment, breathe, think about what foods I am consuming and remove myself from the eight ball.

I don’t know if you all play pool or not (I do on bar occasions when one is handy and not occupied by stupid drunk people) but I like the simplicity of pool. It may take a passing knowledge of physics and definitive skill to sink solids or stripes into the corner pocket but it’s your mastery of that eight ball that wins you the game.

Do you guys ever watch Fox’s “Family Guy” TV show? Not only is it consistently funny but it has, pound for pound, the most references to pop culture of any show ever. And as its male “lead” Peter Griffin would say – “that’s freakin’ sweet!”

There was an episode a few years back where Peter, fed up with some such thing I can’t remember in my sleepy haze,” gets his own segment of the evening news called “What Grinds My Gears,” a segment where Peter just goes off on his idiotic rants about everything from people in the 19^th century to Lindsay Lohan.

Last night as I watched “Family Guy” I got to thinking about something that really, AND ABSOLUTELY TRUTHFULLY, grinds my gears – prejudice. It comes in all shapes and sizes, figuratively and literally, and is alive and well and living on network television. Yes, you may or may not be aware of this but while sitting and watching some of your favorite shows like “Dancing with the Stars” or “American Idol” you see (or in this case don’t see) the results of prejudice – prejudice against people of size. Yep, what “grinds my gears” are the networks who show my favorite shows (“V,” “Flash Forward” and ironically “Family Guy”) actually turned away a Lane Bryant ad because it was deemed “too racy.”

This past week the Columbus, Ohio-based clothing retailer charged that ABC and FOX rejected a commercial for its new Cacique lingerie line because of a bias against plus-sized women. The ad features size-16 New York fashion model Ashley Graham enjoying feeling sexy inside a hotel room in her Lane Byrant bra and panties, receiving text messages and arranging a “nooner,” a lunchtime naughty “rendezvous” with a lover. The company wanted to place the ad on ABC’s “Dancing with the Stars” and FOX’s “American Idol.”  However, ABC refused to show the commercial during “Dancing with the Stars” without restricting the spot to the final (least-watched) moments of the show,” and Fox demanded excessive re-edits and rebuffed it three times before relenting to air it during the final 10 minutes of “American Idol,” but only after we threatened to pull the ad buy.

As Peter Griffin would say, “Are you freakin’ kidding me?”

According to ABC Vice President Julie Hoover. “We were willing to accommodate them (Lane Bryant), but they chose to seek publicity.” And I am so glad they did.  It’s hard enough in this word to be big as it is. However, without publicity, how can we know how people of size are treated in the consumer world?

Take director Kevin Smith’s recent woes aboard a Southwest Airline plane. Even though Smith acknowledge it was his wanting to take an earlier flight (one on which he purchased two seats) he was booted from a Southwest flight because he was allegedly deemed to large to fly “comfortably” in one seat. The situation may have died down since February but was, until now, the most recent (read, most visible) example of a (no pun intended) growing intolerance against people of size. If it wasn’t for the fact of his celebrity and his widely-read blog this situation would never have been known and brought into the light.

The same thing holds true for the Lane Bryant ad. Why does Lane Bryant have to extensively have to re-edit their ad (which is embedded here for you to see) when Victoria’s Secret runs ads that can be viewed as way racier? After learning about this prejudice I purposely watched spots for both and the Victoria Secret ad shows way more skin on way more women. It just so happens that those women are thin while the beautiful, full-figured model in the Lane Bryant ad is a size 16 – WHICH AIN’T THAT BIG TO BEGIN WITH!!!!!

Graham, in the New York Post, said she was shocked to learn the networks couldn’t and wouldn’t handle her ad. “I was very surprised,” she said. “The first thing I thought of was Victoria’s Secret commercials, and how they’re just as racy, if not more racy, than Lane Bryant.[The models are] just a lot smaller than what I am. They can’t handle bigger on TV, bigger boobs on a normal-sized woman on TV.”

That sucks. Why do I bring this up today? It’s not because I wanted to talk about scantily-clad women prancing around in underwear (well, OK. Maybe a little) It’s because we are heading into the weekend, prime shopping time for most people. It’s on my mind because people of size are beautiful, no matter the package in which they’re wrapped. We shop, we go out to eat, we see movies and we have feelings. We, too, like to see people like us on TV, both in shows and in ads, because we are a part of society. Some of us might be on a weight loss journey, and I fully recognize what got me to be 400 pounds was my own fault – overeating and lack of exercise – but that doesn’t mean we have to be re-edited and shuttled to the “back of the bus” in a TV show’s time slot because some of us are more “real” than the skinny so-and-sos in a Vicky’s Secret ad. Further, why can’t we be “normal characters” in ads or on shows – those who have just as much drama, laughter, sex and life – just like the thinner main characters on shows? We always seem, more times than not, to be the non-sexual, non-threatening comic relief in movies and shows. That sucks, and I, for one, am sick of it.

A Fox representative told AOL’s PopEater blog that the network did “balk at airing the Lane Bryant spot at 8 p.m. without edits,” but will air it uncut during the 9 p.m. hour of “American Idol” next week. Funny how it took some publicity to make them do this. Shame on you, Fox and ABC. That’s why I freaking “flash forward” through your commercials anyway.

We may be big but we sure as hell are beautiful. And good for Lane Bryant for sticking to it’s guns.

And that’s what “grinds my gears.” Back to you in the studio.

Whenever I feel rundown, tired, overly anxious, nervous, distressed, worried or upset I know it’s time for me to just stop and go to sleep. That’s when I can end my day, no matter what’s going on, put my head down and recharge my batteries at least enough to tackle whatever situation comes up in life. Yes, sleep is a beautiful thing and yesterday, particularly in the afternoon, was no exception.

On Thursday, as I was driving my Honda Pilot back to southern New Jersey from New York (and that stupid, stupid $115 parking ticket) when the “maintenance required” light came on in my car. Nervous, I immediately called Honda and asked if the light came on in response to me reaching 105,000 miles. The guy on the phone said “yes, probably,” at which point I asked how much a service would be. He quoted me a price of about $250 and I went ahead and scheduled the service for Friday (yesterday). Only when I get to the service bay I find out that it’s not going to be $250, but more like $1,500 as the 105,000 mile service is the most comprehensive. Talk about bait-and-switch “shock.” And the “awe” part comes in when (and I knew this was coming) they told be I was told I had to replace my brakes, both front and rear, too, to the tune of another $500. Yep, a $2,000 trip to the car doctor added onto the $115 ticket I received and I felt miserable, rundown, overly anxious, distressed, worried and upset.

My first reaction was anger. “Why the f$#k would a person on the phone quote me such a low amount if they all supposedly knew there are “different levels” of the most comprehensive (read expensive) service they can do?” My second reaction was depression. “I can’t really afford this right now. But I need my car to be dependable,” and they totally have you over a barrel because you’re afraid if you don’t get it done your car will all but fall apart on you and you won’t be safe.

My third and final reaction? “Where’s the junk food?”

Yes, I am an emotional eater and always have been. Yesterday knocked me for a loop, came out of left field and whatever other cliché you want to use for I had the wind taken out of my sales with such a hefty price tag. All that made me want to do is drown my sorrows – and being a food-a-holic that’s exactly what I did. Earlier in the day I succumbed to the temptation and had two doughnuts, but it was all downhill from there. In the afternoon I had a pint of strawberry ice-cream. Yes, a whole pint. And for dinner I had loaded potato salad, a couple of kielbasa and, yes, a tall, delicious ice-cold Coca-Cola.

Damn. I wish I hadn’t done all that. I knew it was bad but I soooooo needed comfort food. I am human after all and yesterday sucked. Not as bad as a fraction of what’s going on in the world but it sucked in my world. After I’d eaten I knew it was time for sleep, when the mind, body and spirit just start shutting down as if light switches are one-by-one turned off in an office building or arena. I needed sleep. I couldn’t fight anymore. I was done.

But today is a new day and I have gotten my sleep. Sleep enough to let Honda know how displeased I am with the punch in the gut I got over the price. Sleep enough to get my ass to the gym to work off the silly, stupid and indulgent food binge I went on yesterday (yes, I gained back a pound and two ounces). Most of all, I got sleep enough to know it will all be OK, and that I will not let a kick in the chins derail my weight loss goal or my eating habits over the weekend (which, by the way, I’m not nervous about this weekend). I know I have to watch what I eat this weekend. I know I have to exercise. I was doing well and I will keep doing well especially being this/close to the “battle of the final ten.”

That is what sleep does, after all. It gives us energy to start a new day with the glass half-full instead of half-empty. Sleep is, indeed, a beautiful thing.

I can honestly say I had an excellent adventure to The Big Apple yesterday. Well, sort of…

I started my day as I knew I would, with my fruit and medium coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts with extra cream and extra crunchy (extra sugar). As I hit the road and enjoyed my coffee (in which they actually got the right amount of crunchiness) I was psyching myself up for what I knew would be an adventure filled with many food temptations, starting with the rest stops along the way.

Since I live in southern New Jersey I pass five rest areas along the New Jersey Turnpike – the Alexander Hamilton, the Joyce Kilmer, the Thomas A. Edison, the Richard Stockton and the Molly Pitcher. I started my day by having coffee and fruit because each one of these rest stops has a temptation I’d pull over for in a heartbeat.  Which temptations do you ask? I have three words for you: Cinnabon, Burger King and Nathan’s Hot Dogs. Just  writing about it makes me drool at the thought of a delicious, oh-so-decadent warm cinnamon roll with extra frosting, a hot and juicy, freshly-made Whopper with cheese (which my former self did have for breakfast, along with hash browns and mega-large Coke for breakfast) or a couple of awesome hot dogs with everything (a good one-handed road food). But I resisted. It was difficult but I did.

So I got to New York and, true to form, morning traffic was nuts. But I expected that. By the time I got to the Better TV offices on Lexington I was full of coffee and full of gumption that I wasn’t going to eat badly (and yes, I know, I know – I’m full of something alright). I even found a parking spot on the street just a block-and-a-half from the place. Awesome (well, sort of…)

When I arrive at the offices I was shown to the “green room,” where (insert ominous music here, or your standard dum, dum, duuuuum) a tray of some extremely delicious-looking pastries, muffins and bagels lie in front of me, each one of the delicacies calling to me and my taste buds “eat me, eat me, Bill.” “Ha,” I said. Well, actually I said “bite me,” and I had, instead a snack of some of the fresh fruit they had on a tray next to the evil (but yummy-looking) baked goods.

After a small snack of some grapes, strawberries and a piece of pineapple I was ready for my close-up, Mr. & Mrs. DeMille. And the shoot went great. The people at Better TV, especially host Audra Lowe, were great. I even got to tape a second, slightly-longer segment for airing either on the web or in markets where they have more time. I was thrilled and they seemed to like me. They really liked me, and I was out in time to go rescue my car from its street parking spot before it turned into a pumpkin. Well, sort of…

First I had to run something of a mini-gauntlet. While this one didn’t have the little red-haired girl, the clown, the colonel or the king, it did have a few restaurants that had come alive for the lunch crowd and were not open when I arrived. I passed a great-looking deli, with its wonderful tray of free samples beckoning me to taste. I passed an awesome looking Cuban restaurant and its fried wonders (although I do love me a Cuban sandwich every now and then), the smells of the food calling me to come inside and have some lunch. I also passed a great-smelling Halal-type cart where fresh chicken was frying up with some type of saucy goo that, while I didn’t know what was in it sure smelled good.

But I made it through and got to my car. I knew I had only a couple of minutes left but I should be good, no ticket for an expired meter. But wait, what was this…

…A $115 ticket for my wheels being on the sidewalk?! You’ve gotta be s%$#@&*g me?! I looked down and, wouldn’t you know, because the sidewalk and curb were so low to the street and I had no idea I had actually parked on the curb, I was parked a few (A FEW) inches onto the curb. I mean I didn’t pull an action movie or “Blues Brothers” and park completely on the sidewalk. I honestly couldn’t feel in my car I had parked on the stupid, way-too-low curb. Grrrrrrr.

I was pissed. PISSED I tell you. I was so angry I felt like the Hulk, but instead of wanting to “smash” this Hulk wanted to now eat. I’ve always said I’m an emotional eater, and those emotions run to anger, as well. When I’m angry and my adrenaline is going I feel like eating everything. I felt like going back and having some good New York deli, followed by a fried Cuban hot pockety thing they were selling and a dessert of some of that chicken with goo from the cart. I knew I had to just get in my car and get away from those temptations. And that’s what I did. I got back on the road.

And even though I was sloooooooowly calming down I was still pretty angry, and I still had to run the final gauntlet – the five rest stops I could easily resist before but now…let’s say my resolve was waning. I have to say the most tempting of the bunch was to pull over and have a Cinnabon, since they are only located in rest stops, malls (not my mall) or airports. But I didn’t. Nor did I pull over for a Whopper (my favorite fast food burger) or a hot dog (I did OD on those when I was recently home, anyway). Nah, I only had one food item on my mind and even though I was steamed enough to beat out the sun I only wanted a grilled chicken sandwich from Chick-Fil-A and Diet Dr. Pepper.

So I survived my trip, sort of. I resisted the urges that tempt us all every single day but it was quite an expensive adventure. However, I know in my head in my heart those two things should be reversed. I did get a stupid, asinine $115 ticket from the City of New York (screw you, very much) but I did hold strong and did not overeat…

…and that is a victory any day of the year.

Happy mega-late-Wednesday night/super-duper early-Thursday morning, my friends.

Since I have to be in New York City Thursday morning for an appointment (I was lucky enough to get an opportunity to talk about the website and weight loss on the nationally-syndicated BetterTV), I decided to do tomorrow’s blog tonight. Er, or today’s blog yesterday. However you want to look at it. It feels kind of weird because I’m so used to getting up every morning, rolling back over when I see it’s earlier than I think, getting up again because it’s then later than I want, stretching and writing my daily weight loss blog post.

Yeah, I’m breaking up my routine. It happens from time to time to all of us. We get sick with a stomach bug that lays us up for days, or we travel out of town to visit a son’s graduation or we blow out our knees and have to take it easy to heal our joints and give them tender loving care. No matter what the circumstance, crap always happens and it’s during that time that a ripple effect occurs – when everything in our day gets thrown off, even eating, because of one tiny pebble thrown into the lake of our daily lives.

These past few days I have really taken advantage of detoxing from Coke to combine that with eating better and exercising to bring my weight down to a mere 12.5 pounds above my goal. But what makes me nervous is that having to get up early to beat New York traffic (o.k., NO ONE beats New York traffic but you know what I mean) to get to the TV studio on time means I have to throw off the rhythm of my day, including what and how I eat.

Sure I’m going to start out my day with my simple cup of coffee and fruit, like I always do, but having that be earlier than usual by a few hours, getting on the road, the increase of tension with less-than-agreeable other drivers, general nervousness and location all mean that the meals that follow may or may not get to be the healthiest I could have. Does New York have healthier food choices? Oh, yeah it does. But will I be close to any of them? I simply don’t know.

My brain tells me I’m being silly, that I know what I should and shouldn’t have and, therefore, won’t have it. I’ll wait until either a healthier choice pops up or wait until I return to good ol’ Cherry Hill, New Jersey for a morsel of din. But I know the rest of me better than that. I know the little devil that sometimes rules over my stomach which says “ah, go on. How often are you going to be in New York? Go to that Halal cart you like so much and get yourself a nice heaping plate of chicken and lamb, rice, pita and wash it all down with an ice-cold Co – “, er, you know, the soda that shall not be named.

So tomorrow, like it is so many times during a day or in a week, becomes a chance to flex some will (Bill) power and NOT put tempting foods in my mouth. No one forces me to eat bad foods no matter where I am. And that number on the scale IS coming down and I want it to keep coming down to re-reach my 225 pounds. So to help occupy my brain I’ll play a game I like to play especially during Oscar time – changing the names of television shows or movies into food-related pun names (kind of like the adult film industry does but much, much cleaner). Some I’ve already thought of are:

• Planet of the Grapes
• Pie Hard
• Family Pie
• Lord of the Onion Rings (One Onion Ring to Rule Them All)
• The Breakfast Club Sandwich
• The Codfather
• The French Toast Connection
• The Hunt for Bread October
• Hot Sub Time Machine
• Iron Manwich 2
• Chex and the City

I will be OK I’m sure of it, no matter whether I play a cheesy, geeky name game or not. And on Friday morning I will tell you guys all about the show, but most of all I’ll tell you how I didn’t give in to the smells and tastes of one of the greatest food cities on Earth.

Sorry this was so late today but I was in a quandry.

I’m going to sound like an old fogie (is that even how it’s spelled?) but I don’t know how to relate to kids these days. Well, I do and I don’t. Last week you heard me talking about a website and technology conference I attended in New York and, while there, I got a wonderful idea to try to help kids who might have weight loss issues through information and resources on my website.

However, the more I delved into the “what” of it all (like what kind of content to have, etc.) I realized I don’t exactly know how to reach kids these days. When I was a fat kid it was the late 70s/early 80s. There were no such things as the following:

• Cell Phones (which kids seem to have younger and younger these days so no texting, mobile internet, etc.)
• iPods (hell, I thought I was king of the world with my first Sony Walkman personal radio)
• Personal Computers (I had a small electronic typewriter that got me through school – a typewriter!)
• Internet (and with it the extension of ways to get and absorb news and information)
• E-Mail (back then we actually wrote letters to each other and sent them in the mail, or snail mail as it’s called today, or passed notes)
• Cable TV (there wasn’t even a fourth Fox network back then. Just independent TV stations and the big three – CBS, NBC and ABC)
• Facebook and Twitter (progress back then was called a “party line,” expensive phone calls people could make to join 20 others to chat on the phone hosted by someone whose only job it was to keep you talking to get you to pay more per minute)

Amazing, isn’t it? Over the last 25-30 years technology has really improved. However, it has made the job of reaching people, especially kids, such a hard thing to do. The only way I can describe it is as practicing “lucky science.” Science because you have to do it so surgically since you can’t reach really large numbers of people using very few media anymore, and lucky because you never know what will resonate with people and take off like wild fire (as Twitter has the power to put information all over the world in a matter of minutes).

So how do I reach kids these days and let them know my simple story? That I was once a chubby kid, who was made fun of in school, and who had the same social problems they do these days because I was obese? How do I let them know I know how they feel when you can’t find age-appropriate clothes that fit, or have to find clothes less attractive or popular because they just aren’t in your size? How do I let kids know it’s normal to feel sad and depressed because you’re made fun of and are different, but also let them know it’s OK to talk about it and try to do something about it?

Jeez! I do sound like an old fogie FER SURE! LIKE TOTALLY! I sound like I’m waving my cane at some hot-rodders burning rubber down the street yelling at them as I wave my cane calling them “young whippersnappers.” But I’m not old (at least not yet) and I do very much remember what it’s like to be the fat kid. Plain and simple – it hurts. It hurts and at a time that is really solidifying who you’re going to become as an adult there are these pressures from family (in some cases), society-at-large, media (particularly fashion magazines geared towards teens) and friends to be this perfect being. And sometimes we are just not and we do not need anyone pointing out our flaws!

I guess it would be simple enough to tell kids this. In fact, it might make it easier for them to believe me when I tell them my personal fat kid story. I just know that America does have a childhood obesity epidemic on its hands, driven by lack of food education, support and economics. Well, I am going to do my best to help in any way I can. Not because I am saying all kids need to be thin or anything. But because it is all about health. Things like asthma and breathing problems (which I’ve had). High blood pressure (which I’ve had). And you could go on with juvenile diabetes, joint pain, etc. That is why I want to reach out. Because if I could go back in time and talk to me I would tell me it’s OK and to not eat so much McDonalds or ribs or fried foods. I’d also tell me the dangers of eating that much and how much I weighed at my heaviest and what problems it caused me. I’d tell me I understand what it’s like not having money to buy better foods and not have the proper resources to prepare them. I’d offer to help.

This is a crazy, mixed up and fast-paced world in which we live these days. But no matter what, kids need our help. And no matter how we reach them and tackle this problem of childhood obesity, we are helping them to become the same old fogies we are today. And I’d rather be an old fogie waving my cane around at young hot-rodders than dead in my 40s from a heart attack brought on by obesity.