Determined To Succeed

As you guys know I am in New York attending a conference on all things website. I won’t bore you with the same details with which I was almost bored to sleep (literally – I had to get coffee during one of the panels or it would have been snooze city) but overall it was a great day for day one and I did end up learning tons about stuff so that I could enhance my own weight loss website. That’s the only way I can put it because my brain is mush.

However, the biggest and best thing I learned yesterday didn’t come from one of the speakers. It came from a mom (I won’t say her name for fear she’d be embarrassed). I ran into her while waiting on the last session of the day to begin. While we both waited I started talking to her about what I do and it was as if her eyes lit up. She told me all about her son and how her son, who is only twelve, has already felt the acute sting of what it’s like to be a heavy child.

Even though he’s not obese, he was chubby and his friends and schoolmates constantly let him know in the ever-so-brutally-honest way that only children can. He was the object of jokes and they made him sad, hurt and, worst of all, alone. I so remember what it was like being an obese kid. Even though I should have fit into clothes designated for kids my age I had to get the next size or two up from that just to find stuff that fit. My “friends” made fun of my stomach and my lack of physical ability because of it. I was called “fatty,” “Buffalo Bill” (that was a popular one), “Big Bill…” You name it. And I used to go home and cry about it…then eat to try to get rid of the pain.

I know exactly what this kid is going through because I went through it myself being an overweight child. Then, as I grew into adulthood it went from bad to worse. The brutal honesty of children gave way to the absolute meanness of high schoolers. Man, they were merciless, especially at a time when I was becoming a young adult, trying to attract girls and trying to maintain what little I had left of a positive body image. That is how my sense of humor became so honed. I needed it in both grammar and high schools just to deflect that pain away from me – even if it meant being the butt of my own jokes about myself. Laughter was the only way I could hide that pain. And believe me there was a lot of pain.

As an adult the insults became less but only because adults (well, most adults) learn to mask insults. But nothing, absolutely nothing, can take the look out of someone’s eyes. You can tell what a person is thinking just by looking at them. Like when I boarded a plane…or entered a restaurant.

When I heard this mom’s story all I wanted to do was tell her son it’s OK and that he is absolutely not (I repeat NOT) alone, which is why I, thanks to her son’s story and my newly-found knowledge from yesterdays brain-scrambler series of talks and seminars, am going to devote an upcoming portion of my website to children and weight loss. I know now there are so many of us “fat kids” out there who need a place to go to know they are safe. That’s all, safe. Safe from the barbs and stings of words that cut like swords. Safe from even being made fun of because they’re crying. I used to do that, too. But no more. Thanks in part to Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move” initiative childhood obesity is getting the attention it deserves, shining a light on a problem that’s been festering for decades.

This mom told me that her son has worked hard to get his own extra weight off, which he has done, but that he still says “Mom, I’m fat” when he slips or has a bad eating day (sound familiar?). But help is on the way, kid. Help is on the way. Just know there are many of us out there who has not just survived being pre-teens and teenagers, a feat in-and-of itself. We also have taken the weight off to become healthier and happier people armed with a new way of living so we never see those pounds again.

You can do it, kid. As much as I have faith the adults reading this blog will reach their weight loss goal weights, I have faith in you, too. So keep watching this site. Because through it all, us adults and you kids alike, will get to our weight loss goals. We absolutely will and we will do it together.

All you can eat.

All of us have heard of that offer and most of us have taken advantage of it at one time or another taken advantage of it either at office parties, salad bars or restaurants like Old Country Buffet. I have friends who think buffets are great and others who think buffets are nasty and to be avoided at all costs. But no matter which way you slice your ninth dinner roll, “all you can eat” is one of the biggest problems facing our country today particularly in our fight against obesity.

My first experiences with “all you can eat” came when I was a kid. My mom used to take me to a small place in Hyde Park called the Cafe Enrico on 53rd Street. From what I remember it was pretty cool and being a kid I thought it was the pinnacle of fine dining. And on Friday nights this treasure from my childhood served an “all you can eat” fried perch dinner. Living without much money meant this was a wonderful option for us to not only eat out but also eat well, and we took full advantage of it.

Again…

…and again…

…and again.

I remember one time in particular when I got three helpings of that delicious deep-fried perch. Hell, I even think I pissed off the waitress at the time because I remember seeming annoyed she had to keep bringing me slices of this culinary delight.

As I grew older, “all you can eat” took on different forms. I loved (LOVED) my Chinese food “all you can eat” buffets. Oh My God, are you kidding? They are delicious to me. Deep-fried orange/spice chicken, rice, beef with peppers – yummy. I could eat all day. But most notably in my life was Old Country Buffet. My mom loved eating at Old Country Buffet for the exact reasons I loved eating at Cafe Enrico. If you have ever been to an OCB you know they serve lots (AND I DO MEAN LOTS) of foods that are not that healthy for you. But it was cheap and mom liked it (and so did I) so we ate there again…

…and again…

…and again.

As we have become the heaviest nation in the world I am reminded of the “endless bowl of soup” parable I heard while attending One Day University recently in New York. Amherst professor Catherine Sanderson told us about the study of people who were given a magic soup bowl which was rigged from the bottom to always fill with soup no matter how much the consumer ate. At the end it was found that people using this “endless bowl of soup” at  two- to three-times as much as people whose bowls were allowed to empty. This proves that not only the attractiveness of food but also portion size influences eating decisions in our country.

And in this economy I can’t say I completely blame us for wanting a “bigger bang” for our buck.

But you guys know as well as I do quantity does NOT equate to quality.And just because you can have three or four plates of crap doesn’t mean you are eating well. It just means that we, as a country, are eating to excess.

My mom always did the best for me she could and I know that. I actually feel horrible writing about these times with my mom going to Friday night “all you can eat” perch nights because they are treasured memories with my her (and some Pac-Man games were thrown in there, too). However,  it is part of why I became an obese child. I am sure that part of what drives families to places like Old Country Buffet on a regular basis is that want to provide food for the entire family but it is also part of what makes families and children in this country obese as well. But we need to stop. Eating so much is slowly killing us. We are sacrificing eating healthy for sheer size and that is wrong. I am living proof of it. Or should I say my high blood pressure, sleep apnea and aching joints were proof of it.

If I do eat “all you can eat” these days it is at a salad bar and I only have two helpings at most. Not just because I get fuller faster now but because I give my brain enough time to register that I have eaten and I am getting full. I make the conscious decision to walk away and not go for a third or, mom help me, fourth plate. And I know that making smarter choices like these equates to one thing…

…I know I will be living a much longer life.

Am I here to tell you never to eat “all you can eat” ever again? Certainly not. There will always be people in your life who love the Old Country Buffets of the world (I love you, mama). But if and when you can use the money you’d spend and go to a grocery store. But fruits and vegetables. Make meals at home. Create a yummy soup that could last for days. Put yourself at the top of your priority list instead of your wallet.

By doing that you’ll not only help your waist line (and our collective American waistline) but you’ll be able to enjoy life’s many wonderful foods for many more years to come.

Good morning my friends. Whether you’ve been along for the ride since I began this blog or have just joined in I welcome you and want you to know you now have a place to relax, vent, cry, laugh, learn from and most of all share. We are all in this weight loss journey together and I am so proud to begin knowing each and every one of you.

Being on the Dr. Oz Show was an amazing experience and he asked me personally to blog for him and become a Wellness Warrior. That makes me both happy and proud. I hope I do a good job.

And thanks to the Dr. Oz Show and a subsequent appearance on FOX 5 News out of New York yesterday I have heard from so many wonderful people about their weight loss stories and there have been a few in just the one day since that have touched my heart. None more so than my new friend, Kelle, who talked about her fiancee, Fernando, and his untimely death due to complications from gastric bypass surgery.

Kelle lost her fiancée, Fernando, in 2008 from complications due to gastric bypass surgery. He weighed 411 when they found out they were expecting their son. Growing up an obese child he decided it was time to make a lifestyle change. Fernando felt he had to do it for their son, so that he would be around for his little boy, be able to run after him in the park, and just be healthy for his son and Kelle. Fernando also decided to have the surgery because nothing had worked for him. He was diagnosed with Type-2 diabetes just 6 months prior to his death. He also went to a nutritionist, joined Weight Watchers, did sleep studies for his apnea but nothing worked. Unfortunately, the worst possible outcome happened and Fernando passed away at the age of 42.

Kelle’s son was 9-months-old when his father died and she wishes sometimes that he would have stayed the large man he was. “Although he was a big guy he had an even bigger heart,” Kelle said, “and when a life is lost and your laying there for your loved one to say your final good-byes it doesn’t matter what size you are.”

That is so true.

It is always hard for me to write about gastric bypass because, while I knew I would never have it for myself,  I know so many people who have had the surgery (or lap band surgery). I would also never be down on them for two reasons: because they are my friends and I love them and also because they made the decision to have their respective surgeries for themselves. They have gone on to lose weight and keep it off and be healthy and extend their lives because of it. For that, and their continued friendship, I am most grateful.

After reading Kelle’s letter I did some poking around this wonderful, new-fangled internet thingie and found out something very interesting. You type “gastric bypass mortality rate” into Google and you’ll get varying degrees of information and data, some of which is from the mid-2000s. I did however find one article from January 2010 which is interesting and does seem to go along with the other stats I found.

A study led by researchers at the University of Cincinnati concluded that while the benefits of gastric bypass surgery may far outweigh the health risks for most people who are morbidly obese (which is defined as having a body mass index of 40 or higher) the 30-day mortality from the surgery can range to as high as 2 percent in some studies . That means up to 1 in every 50 surgeries can result in complications and mortality.

I am so glad Kelle wrote me and told me her story. The first time I had ever heard of gastric bypass was because of my old boss’s friend. He was 400 lbs and he unfortunately died from complications of the surgery much like Fernando. That was when I decided if I was ever going to lose weight it would not be through surgery and why I absolutely believe that people can do it naturally. 42 is way too young to lose a loved one especially when he is a father. But he did what he felt he had to do for Kelle and his new son and that amounts to only one thing – love.

I struggle every day with weight loss. I really do. It’s hard to say I am going to resist the foods I love because I’m scared. I’m scared I might go back to having them in the amounts I used to and, therefore, will go back to being the weight I was. I struggle every day with portion control and saying no to a food today so I can have it as a treat later. I really do want to continue my weight loss. It is a struggle every single day. I get up. I crave certain foods. I crave the foods that I know are bad for me. And I have to resist every single day and not give into them. That is what I want this blog to do. Tell people that with a little resistance (and most of all self-love) they can achieve their goals.

Weight loss is a story we can all share and understand. In the days and months and years to come I hope you guys continue to share your stories with me. Sorry today’s blog was so long. But this journey we’re on is a long one. But it’s one that you can now do with the company of friends and loved ones by your side.

So today is the day I head over to 30 Rockefeller Center to tape a segment of The Dr. Oz Show. I must say I am a bit nervous but I’m trying to keep everything in check so the energy just flows later.

I also did my best yesterday to curb my nervous eating habits. After recording the voice-over part (which wasn’t as long or as hard as I thought) I was done for the day so it was then time to decide lunch. Should I go to a deli (I love a good corned beef and pastrami) or…wait…what’s that…

…oh man! Right across the street from the Hilton Hotel is a Halal stand and it had the most delicious-smelling chicken and gyro meat. So I ask the hotel front desk workers “is that cart good?” Her reply? “That cart is not only 24 hours but it usually has a line half a block long.”

Sold.

So I went there for a huge, late lunch and had a combination of lamb meat and chicken with rice, lettuce and tomato. I also had them put on the  Tzatziki Yogurt sauce as well as a bit of (the hottest) hot sauce for the chicken. It was amazing and very cheap. It wasn’t the healthiest thing I could have had but I wanted something New York since I’m here and, as it turns out, it was my only major meal of the day.

In the evening I hung out with friends and had a few late appetizers to round out the day’s eating. With the anticipation of the snow here in the Big Apple my friends went home I headed back to the hotel. God, I hope I’m the same weight today as I was yesterday. I don’t have a scale so I will report on that tomorrow.

So here it is. It’s time. So today’s blog entry will be short. All I know is that I will be in a room where 109 other people (the nine others featured with me and 100 audience members) who’ve lost over 100 lbs. That is amazing and so inspirational.

Put another way – that is 10,000 lbs. at least lost or five tons.

I am so glad I brought my clementine oranges to snack on. That’s a lot of great and encouraging competition

Smply incredible. OK. More later…

…oh, and I hear Richard Simmons may show up, too. I’ve been watching that guy since I was a kid.