Determined To Succeed

Happy weekend, my friends. I am just returned from attending Kenwood Academy’s 40-year all-class high school reunion. I have to say I wasn’t quite sure what to expect exactly. There’s a part of me that was expecting sweeping changes, the futuristic visions we’ve all seen in movies – an almost completely foreign inside building with only the outside facade remaining. Then there’s part of me that was hoping it didn’t change THAT much. That I would still recognize the layout, classrooms and even some of the people – so that coming back meant, in part, coming home.

It was both.

I woke up yesterday excited at the chance to visit Kenwood, and that excitement turned into vast hunger and I all but inhaled a huge (HUGE) breakfast that I knew was bad for me (and this after having my requisite hot dogs). Ugh. But I ate knowing I was saving myself for the main event, and not knowing what kinds of food would be served I wanted to be prepared for anything.

I am glad I ate that huge breakfast, too, because I sat in the second worst traffice of my entire life (the first worst being one gruelling two-hour morning on southbound Lake Shore Drive going probably half the distance) on my way to the thing. It took me two-and-a-half hours to get there from near the airport to Hyde Park. Add to that my growing excitement and I was thinking I was definitely going to be hungry.

When I arrived there was only one other person from my 1988 graduating class, Dionne, who also just happened to be the event organizer. So instead of catching up she had things to do, places to go and people to kill which left me standing there watching as others saw their classmates, gave hugs and talked about the past x-number of years.I felt a bit alone, but there was a cool sense of being back in something that looked – and felt – familiar. So I just stood there and drank it in.

Surprisingly, there were a ton of people from Kenwood’s original 1970 graduating class. It was so cool to be standing there amongst people who were there to “break in” the school, who saw it’s brand new walls, who named its King Room (yes, after Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.) and who were the first to graduate from this awesome place.

Then, something remarkable happened. As I was talking to several people from the 1970 graduating class it occured to one guy whose name escapes me (sorry, dude) who said, “so, you were born the year we graduated high school?!” All of a sudden, in a world that today seems to be filled with people getting younger and younger, I felt like the young one. I somewhat embarrassingly said “yes, sir. I was,” but thought to myself “I never thought I’d hear someone say that to me about me. Sweet.”

Then a few familiar faces showed up and the evening got better – and louder. People from almost every class were so excited to see people and all of us, with our respective classmates, walked the halls one last time. We noticed the big things were still the same: the buildings and halls were the same, the restrooms on each floor STILL had the front doors removed. Hell, even the band room, save for one piece of new digital looking equipment almost hidden in the front looked exactly the same. The auditorium had the same seats and the halls almost had even the same smell if there ever was such a thing. It was the small differences that made the night – the wonderful addition of wheelchair-accessible elevators at key points in the building, the new lockers were really skinny (to accomodate many more students, I guess) AND BLUE. Metal and weapon detectors at all the entrances (very sad it’s come to that in high schools these days). Kids talking on and texting with cell phones (if we wanted to get a message to someone we had to – gasp – pass notes).

The best new addition – a fully-stocked weight and workout room. This thing was so cool. All of us 86-87-88ers marvelled at it and became instantly jealous that students, on a free period, could work out if they wanted. And that the teams had far better equipment to use. Freaking sweet. That thing was better equiped than my gym. It’s wonderful to see fitness actually take hold in schools.

I didn’t stick around for the food, though (chicken, veggies and pasta). By almost ten o’clock I was done. I had walked the halls, laughed with old friends and remembered what it was like to be young again. God, how I wish I could go back to that time in my life. I do, sometimes. We all do sometimes. But as I walked out I noticed the newer generation of current Kenwood Broncos enjoying themselves and making the memories that will make them come back to this place twenty years from now.

As you are now, I once was. As I am now, you will be.

I thought about that wonderful saying as I ate my turkey BLT club trying to avoid the fries but failing. I may not be that young anymore but I do have the rest of my life to look forward to because I’ve lost this weight. Who know? I might not even have been here now if I hadn’t lost it all. No matter what, I am glad I went. I will be a Bronco for life and the memories I made in that school have become a part of the living history of it.

I just hope the food in the lunchroom isn’t the same. Although, I do miss a good piece of cheese toast and the taste of a dry-ass cheeseburger every now and then.

I know it is nowhere near Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, but I woke up on this Monday morning thinking about his beautiful August 28, 1963 “I Have A Dream” speech. And while weight loss is nowhere near the fight for civil rights, equality and justice, the speech and its words can ring true for many things including our weight loss journey.

When I started out losing weight it was never my goal to drop 175 lbs. It was only to drop ten or so pounds so my knee would stop hurting when I went to go see a freaking movie, my favorite hobby in the world. That was it. I never dared to dream I’d be able to lose the weight of a grown person, nor did I dream of being able to do some of the things I am enjoying now (everything from martial arts classes to shopping off-the-rack in “normal” stores).  Then when more and more weight came off I began to wonder “how far can this go? I don’t want surgery so I will try my best and see.”

I knew it would take hard work, passion and time but that’s when I began to dream.

When I lost that weight finally I realized I had reached “the promised land.” I dared to dream and I got to that dream and it was beautiful. Now I may have put on twenty pounds and am this/close to being back to just having to re-lose ten, which is awesome, but I am holding on here and will for the rest of my life. Although something has come up and I now have a new dream to achieve…

…my Calvin Klein suit pants.

As much as I love movies I love clothes shopping. I know, I know. A guy who loves shopping? Yes, and I am not ashamed of it, dammit. Last year I took a trip to a local outlet mall and visited the Calvin Klein store (when I dream I dream BIG, figuratively speaking). This store was having an INCREDIBLE sale (and since dropping all this weight I NEVER buy retail anymore) so I browsed and found something I thought I’d never find – a beautiful designer suit IN MY SIZE! Well, almost my size.

Calvin likes his clothes to have an athletic fit and this ain’t no athletic body, but I was absolutely lucky to find both the pants and suit jacket to match in my size and for so cheap a price (I think I paid $70 for a $525 suit). So I snatched it up and took it home. But when I tried on the pants they were a smidge too tight. I then hung the suit in my closet and dreamed again that one day I would reach that promised land, too.

With my martial arts classes I am doing much better in my workouts and my eating overall. But the pants I bought are still a bit too tight (no on should be able to see what month I was born because pants are too tight). But I will not fear, for I will get there. This is the most beautiful suit I have owned to date and I will not (NOT!) let it sit in my closet with its tags still on never worn in public.

I will get there. I do have a dream.

It may be cliche to have a pair of pants I want to fit into but it is part of a physical goal. I also know once I get to that goal I can’t stop or the pants will go back to being a smidge too tight. I certainly don’t want that and I want to wear that freaking suit! And I will.

If you have an item of clothing in which you want to fit, dare to dream. We are all on a journey to reach these goals. The actual number, size or item may be different for each and every person but our goal is the same. To lose weight. And we will get there and be free at last from these extra, stubborn pounds. So do not ever give up on your weight loss dreams…

…so you can one day share with me your dreams and feelings having reached the promised land.