Determined To Succeed

Day one-hundred-seventy.

Well, I can’t believe I am saying this but I truly survived a weekend. And not just a weekend, a weekend led by an evening event that had yummy (but horrible for you) appetizers – buffalo wings, fried egg roll thingies, etc. It’s strange but not only did I not gain any weight, I actually lost since the last time I wrote you guys. I am now officially at 245.8. That’s right, back within the last twenty or so pounds I need to lose to get back to my weight loss goal.  That is a huge relief, especially given my well-documented worry about the weekends and how I always seem to fall off the wagon somehow and gain a couple back over just a couple of days (folks, it really is that easy for me). So I now face this week on such a positive note. I face going to the gym today on the same positive note. That is awesome! I even have lunch picked out already – leftovers of a chicken breast which will be perfect after my workout. Score!

Now on to more pressing matters…

Did any of you happen to watch the Oscar nominations this morning? I know I did. The Academy Awards are like my holiday – my Super Bowl, World Series and my Wimbledon all rolled up with a great red carpet. I watched the nominations this morning and there were no huge surprises. OK, I was surprised TRUE GRIT received so many nominations. It was a fine film (and way better than I could make. Also, the girl in the film stole the picture and deserves her nomination) but it’s a remake and, in some scenes, word-for-word and shot-for-shot. Not terribly original. THE TOWN didn’t get nominated for Best Picture as expected (TRUE GRIT did) but TOY STORY 3 did and that makes me happy. It is truly the best film of 2010 and the only film to make me have open emotion in a theater. It was a beautiful story beautifully done and if you haven’t seen it you should.

Why do I bring up the Oscars today? Around this time of year I think about the Academy Awards and how the stars will look. OK. I don’t really, but I do often wonder how much they actually eat in real life. Last night I watched GREEN HORNET and Seth Rogan looks very svelte and very different from his KNOCKED UP/ZACK AND MIRI self. Is that a good thing? Sure, in Hollywoodland it is. I am sure he got that role because of how he lost weight to look more like a super hero (never mind that the actor who played Kato, Jay Chou, stole the movie).

I also noticed Mo’nique this morning. She looked appropriately radiant (especially at 5:30 AM Hollywood time) announcing the nominees. Again, she is another example of how an actor has lost weight and forged a new image for themselves. Is that bad? Certainly not, but I do wonder why it is that the culture of Hollywood is to lose weight and be rail thin (but not too emaciated since that is also bad) when most of the movie-going audience are real people with real weight and real weight issues. Did I like Seth Rogan more now that he’s shrunk? Nah. He’s still the same guy. And I’m sure Mo’Nique and Jennifer Hudson (both Oscar winners themselves) are still the same people even though both won the much sought-after statuette carrying a few extra pounds.

I do not know if I would ever survive Hollywood. I love eating. I really do. Yes, I know I need to lose this last twenty pounds but I can’t imagine being at the whim of an executive, agent or studio head that says I would need to lose another fifty on that if I want to be considered for a role in TRUER GRIT or KING’S SPEECH 2: THE REVENGE. That’s horseshit. people come in all shapes and sizes. Sure, these stars are the ones we adore and idolize but they come in all shapes and sizes, too. It shouldn’t just be the pretty ones that dominate our screens (TV, movie, computer or smartphone).

You bet your ass I will absolutely be glued to my TV the night of the Academy Awards, and I might even have a slice of pizza in my hand while watching Christian Bale accept his award for THE FIGHTER, but we are all fighters in this weight loss game so don’t lose sight of that. We may not look like Natalie Portman, Jesse Eisenberg, Javier Bardem, Nicole Kidman or James Franco but all of us on this weight loss journey are beautiful in our own ways and have the same amount of drive. We just use it to keep losing and maintaining weight. And that, my friends, is what it means to have TRUE GRIT.

My friends, happy weekend and day one-hundred-sixteen!

I first of all have to apologize to all of you for not writing a blog on Wednesday of this past week. You see, I was not well at all and had to take this week off in order to recoup. It was so bad doctors were called (I have been diagnosed with diverticulosis) and everything, including this weight loss blog, had to be put aside for a bit so I could properly recover.

While I am on the mend and feeling a helluva lot better than I have this past week (as you’ve read – it was the cause of my serious dizziness), I am troubled. Not just because this is a crappy way to ring-in this holiday season AND my upcoming 40th birthday) I now have to modify my diet to include and/or exclude certain foods. Even some foods I love (corn, nuts, popcorn and – egads! – strawberries, among others) have to be seriously curtailed because, it seems, they aggravate the condition. This sucks! I love my strawberries (and strawberry ice-cream), nuts and corn! Bah! I am troubled because, for the first time in my weight loss journey, I now have to officially modify my diet.

As you all know I lost weight not using any kind of specific food regimen. I still ate what I wanted when I wanted it. I simply cut back (as much as I could) on the portions. I still ate Chinese food, drank regular Coca-Cola and had Milky Way bars. However, those things became treats. I also exercised as much as I could, too (the two do go hand-in-hand). But now I have to make food choices based on medicine and science and I don’t want it to seem like I am changing my tune in this whole thing.

I am not giving up the foods I described (and there are more) because they are part of some secret society, new wave diet plan-of-the-stars. It doesn’t have a flashy name like Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig. It is simply diverticulosis, a condition that, believe-you-me, you don’t want to have and not just because of the food restrictions.

On the plus side, diverticulosis does have a few decent things in store for my menu – eating more whole grains, leafy green vegetables, and fruits. See, not so bad, especially since we all should be doing that anyway. About that, I am excited. I am also excited about the final thing actually used to combat diverticulosis, exercise. It helps the condition by aiding digestion. Again something we should all be doing anyway.

I hate to drop this kind of blog on you guys like this but I had to explain what is going on (I did always promise to let you know the ups and downs, after all). I just wanted you to know I hadn’t given in and jumped into a program of some sort (not that it is wrong to do so or that people who do it are wrong – in fact, if it works for you go and run with it and more power to you if it helps). My way works for me. It has already and will for the rest of my life. I also wanted to let you guys know I am taking a vacation from writing until December 13, 2011. On that date I hope to be rested, as fully recovered as I can be and ready to share my list of 40 things I want to do in my 40^th year.

As we enter the fever of the holiday season (and I wish all people of all faiths good tidings and well wishes this season) remember to be as strong as you can. I know I will. It may be a crappy way, as I said earlier, to celebrate tidings of comfort and joy but I am happy to just be here. As soon as I am physically able again I’m going to work out so I can get back to that always-mentioned goal weight of mine. Most importantly keep in mind the blessings we have in our lives. I know I will, including the gift of being able to have a medical problem diagnosed before it got me to a far worse health state. All I will say is “whew, that was a close one” and leave it at that.

Have a great week-and-a-half, my friends. I will be bright-eyed, bushy-tailed and ever-so-slightly older when next we meet on these pages. Until then, know I appreciate you all and that I am right there with you in this battle to lose weight. As cheesy as it will sound I, too, am DETERMINED TO SUCCEED.

Day ninety-nine.

One of the things I remember growing up was my mom, JoAnn Larson, telling me there’d be new rules and regulations at home when she was displeased about something. It didn’t matter whether it was money, cleaning up, work, school for me, clothes…anything. If it needed fixin’ there were gonna be “new rules and regulations.” Well, at this point in my body’s life and my weight loss journey I need to state the same on two other fronts.

One, I am going to begin eating human portions again. I got to 225 eating what a normal, skinny guy would eat and it worked. I have the most success when I can put extraneous food(s) away and say “enough!” Like this mroning, I had a muffin for breakfast and ice water (see…not even coffee). I could have had another muffin but I didn’t. I am starting fresh to get my eating act together. I will also go workout today to help that along because I so feel like a hot air balloon today. Ugh. I feel so bloated. What a way to start the week. I am up a staggering three pounds in my weight (I’m at 242.8) and I am just puffy, bloated, fat and kind of grumpy about it. The good news is that I did get in a couple of really good workouts this weekend. The bad news continues to be my portion control. That is the problem. That, and snacking. Even though I have a wonderful, homemade trail mix of walnuts, Craisins and raisins, I eat way too much of it and drink waaaaaay too much Coke Zero. Sigh, and all that makes up the hot, heated air that makes my stomach inflate like…you guessed it…a balloon.

Two, after much thought, there are going to be some changes to my weight loss blog, Determined To Succeed, and its contents. Thanks to screwing up so much of my life over this past year I have wasted tons of time, time that I could have spent working on projects that are key and important to me. That means I am going to be cutting back on writing my blog to three times a week. It will still be regular (like metamucil) and I will continue to write the blog on Mondays, Wednesdays and probably Fridays (although that may change to Saturdays – we’ll see). This way I can devote more time, brain space, creativity and writing “umph” to those projects I mentioned. I must. It also means that certain sections of my website will be pared-down and/or eliminated. I just can’t keep up with them and know I won’t be able to regularly. I am so sorry about that but I want to give you the best blog and website possible. I don’t know which sections will stay or go (although MEMORIES OF MY MOTHER will remain definitely) but you will see soon. So if you see changes that is why.

I hope all of you who have followed my blog regularly will continue to follow me. If you follow me daily, thank you. If you follow me weekly and/or monthly, thank you. Thank you all. Please continue to do so. I will continue to write from the front lines of the battle of the bulge. I need to if only to keep myself current and accountable. I also hope my journey continues to help you guys too. I am just taking the time and energy I need to devote to some other things going on which you will learn about very soon (that, and the 40 or so things I plan to do for my 40th birthday).

All that being said it’s time to buckle down with our new rules and regulations. So if you are checking in today the next new blog will be Wednesday morning which by then will mean, hopefully, I have worked out like a fiend and have the chiseled body that inspired statues and countless works of art over the millenia. No? Well, at least have worked out and have eaten less so I can start that damned downward trend for the last bloody time. To win the battle of the bulge and not just fight it all the time. Have a great day everyone. Talk to you on Wednesday.

Day seventy-four.

I freaking hate this time of year in stores. Candy, candy EVERYWHERE! Chocolate, chocolate EVERYWHERE! It’s really hard enough as it is trying not to eat badly by going to the store and getting things to make at home (like my mac and cheese last night) but give a fat guy a break, will ya! I mean, damn. Halloween this and candy that. You just can’t get away from it.

When I was a kid I trick-or-treated just like every other kid out there lucky enough to be able to do so. My costumes were never elaborate, hand-sewn masterpieces of fabric and materials. No, my costumes were what they were – perfect for me and given to me by my mom, costumes made of plastic that you find in boxes, you know, the complete ones. Oh man, they were perfect. Spider-Man, Batman anything Star Wars…Halloween was a great time to be a kid…

…however as I approach 40 I realize how uncool Halloween can be for us adults. But more on that later.

I even remember the biggest “haul” I got. One Halloween I got what seemed like an endless supply of candy. It was amazing and my bag so heavy with chocolate, sugary sweets and treats. I had so much I even took some to school (and of course I shared some with my mom). That was awesome.

As I grew older and I went from receiving candy to buying it I realize how much temptation there is when I shop to just get and eat a whole bag of chocolaty goodness in one sitting. And why not, right? These bite-sized morsels don’t have any calories (they’re too small for that). Yeah, right! I wish.

I’ve always been straight-up with you guys about my eating and all my ups and downs in weight and eating. Well, this is no exception. I did buy myself a bag of Hershey’s miniatures (with almonds) and have been doling out rations to myself to make it last as long as I can. I could try to rationalize it by saying “well, at least I work out” but that would be horseshit. I do workout, yes, but that is not an excuse. I just love chocolate, and while I try to be good about having it there are times I give in to get “my fix.”

I’ve always told you guys I ate what I wanted along my weight loss journey and still continue to eat what I want (hence the delicious mac and cheese I made last night – not the healthiest thing I might add) but I will strive to be better. In less than two weeks the candy displays, commercials and ads will go away and make way for the images of Thanksgiving and turkey with all the trimmings (another danger zone for me). So until then I will do my best to steer clear of the candy aisle in the store.

I know today’s blog will be short but that’s OK. As us addicts say I just wanted to “get current” with you guys aqnd share a rant about candy being EVERYWHERE. EVERYWHERE, I tell you!!! Do you guys have the same problem? I know we are all in this together so I am hoping I am not alone in my cravings for chocolate-peanut butter, almond, gooey goodness.

Sigh. At least I am down 3 ounces. That is something today, I guess.

Day seventy-three.

There are times that I can’t help thinking about the movies. Ever since I was a kid, and thanks to my awesome mother, JoAnn Larson, I have always loved the movies and the magic they create. They happen to hold a treasure trove of answers to life’s great mysteries and challenges and offer advice and examples of situations that can be applied to, well, almost everyone. A prime example of this was at last night’s twelve-step meeting which felt less like a collection of broken people and more like the original Fellowship from “Lord of the Rings.”

In “Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring” Frodo, Sam, Aragorn, et. al. are brought together and told of a great mission they must undertake – to return the powerful but evil ring of power to the fires of the volcanic Mount Doom to be destroyed forever. If you even somewhat familiar with the story, spread out over three books (and three incredible movies) you know Frodo is the keeper of the ring and, as such, falls victim at points to its incredible power. However, thanks to the strength and determination of his friends and the Fellowship he is able to complete his mission and save Middle Earth from darkness.

In the meeting last night, as we all gathered around the tables set up in a square formation so we could all see each other (like a certain Round Table with which we are familiar) we told our individual tales of the week, or even the day or hour, that brought us to the meeting point last night. There was a resounding sense of taking a breath from each one of us and many of us, myself included, thanked the other members of the group for being there to offer support, encouragement, friendship and, of course, fellowship to us along our journeys. It was then that my mind knew that while there was no “one ring” to return to the molten lava of a volcano we all needed each other from time to time, as Frodo needed Sam and the rest of the Fellowship, to keep going.

After the meeting I sat for a minute in my car and thought about how safe and relaxing the meeting was. It was nowhere near as uncomfortable as Sunday’s meeting, but no matter how weird, uncomfortable or whatever the meetings get they are always a safe place for people to land when they feel as though they can’t get to where they need to go in life and have nowhere else to go to take some of the burden of life away – if even for just an hour. That is the beauty of them and why they are absolutely necessary.

In this thing I call a weight loss journey I have always tried to offer support, guidance, humor and, most of all, a human story to the realities of weight loss to everyone looking to lose weight. I do this because I know the one thing that all people crave is company. We all want understanding, caring, an ear. Most of all, we want (and need) fellowship so we know we are not alone in any of this fight through which we are going. Losing weight is hard enough but to do it without the encouragement of others, be them family, friends, co-workers or others in a group, would be damn near impossible. At least it would be for me.

One of the things I have always said is that none of us is alone in this quest to lose extra pounds and I reaffirm that today. Each and every one of us deserve another chance in life to do the good things we are meant to do, most of all to and for ourselves and I support you, my friends. Weight loss is a bitch but I understand your pain. I share it. I see it when I step on the scale. I feel it in the gym when I sweat. But no matter how hard it gets our fellowship – or our Fellowship – stays strong and committed.  And if you need just a word or two of strength all you need to do is read these Determined To Succeed weight loss blogs. They are not only my story but our story. It may not be as nicely written as “Lord of the Rings” but it is something in which we all can share strength, wisdom, advice and healing.

The weight will come off and demons will go away. That is why all good stories end with six of the best words ever written…

…and they lived happily ever after.

Day seventy-one.

Happy Monday, everybody. Did you have a great weekend? More to the point, did you make it through the weekend without eating too much and getting in some exercise? I hope so, especially since it was a heavy sports weekend (if you’re into that). Regular-season football, MLB playoff baseball…it can take its toll colorically and physically (I can also be quite the couch potato). Thankfully, I did maintain my weight (237) despite a few daliances (I did give in to my Twinkie craving) and am starting the week on a great note.

Yesterday, I attended my regular Sunday night twelve-step meeting and it was, putting it mildly, interesting. There were a few people I’ve never seen before but apparently were part of the fellowship some months or years prior to my arrival. One person had a particularly scary story to tell while they were “getting current” with the group and it really threw me for a loop. While I won’t reveal what they said suffice it to say I was uncomfortable, extremely so, but overall the group was good last night because of the topics selected – trust, things to do and resentment. These three topics seemed very appropriate for me given that each one goes through my mind on a daily basis.

There have been many things I have resented in my life but none more so than my own actions at times. I was as low as I could go and I hated myself for it. Dammit, those demons were strong and terrifying and I gave into each and every one of them. Before I confronted my past and found out the reasons why I was “acting out” in the present I resented, and had great shame over, great portions of my past and I tried to bury it all, sometimes with massive amounts of food. Yes, I also resented being 400 pounds, but once I started valuing life again, especially over these last seventy-one days, I’ve come to know I am stronger than those demons and can win and win without Twinkies, ice-cold regular Coca-Cola (Coke Zero is now my new BFF) and mass quantities of egg rolls or beef fried rice.

Trust is a tricky thing with me, especially since I never really let many people inside because of the walls a created to “protect” myself. Funny how the mind works. You secretly want to let people in because you want to be held and loved but, because of shame and fear, you build up blockers to keep people out as a defense mechanism. Well, not anymore and I think I’m getting better and better at it every day. The secret being that I realized I had to rebuild trust, not just with people in my life but, most importantly, with myself and that comes from liking me again and knowing I will make the right choices now. Choices I can trust are the best ones for me and building on that.

As far as filling my time with things to do, well, you guys know the things I’m working on. This weight loss blog is one of them. I find one of my triggers to eat is due to me feeling bored when I don’t have things filling my time. I eat to pass the time and that is so wrong. It was so wrong. So now I am concentrating on the positives and am working on many things, one of which I will reveal to you in the next month or month-and-a-half or so as it pertains to my upcoming 40th birthday.

When I left the meeting last night I could feel myself on the right path. I am in a positive place and that feels good. I may have had a Twinkie or two this past week but I exercised and did not eat out. All of this, especially in weight loss, is retraining the mind to act in different ways – to choose different paths than we would have chosen before and re-learning how to act. That rediscovery is cool…so cool. It’s almost like the world is new and we have a new world full of opportunity at our feet.

It is just up to each and every one of us to walk that path to get to those opportunities. For the first time in my life I do feel worth it which helps me immensely as I drive the gauntlet of fast food places (especially Burger King) passing them all up for the wonderful BLTs I had at home last night for dinner, or the leftover grilled BBQ pork chops I had for lunch Saturday. Those are the meals I look forward to now. That is the future I look forward to now.

So have a great start to your week, my friends, and good luck on your weight loss journeys. Remember, food may be awesome but you are more awesome and deserve better than you give yourself sometimes. So you don’t have to eat if you really don’t want to or feel ashamed to, because it will always feel better to open up and talk to someone – anyone – than to keep that stuff inside. And no matter what, as you try to walk that path of opportunity, I promise you one thing…you are not alone.

Day sixty-seven.

I am thinking about mortality today. No, not because of anything actually going on in my life but because of a link I was sent, a link to a “life expectancy calculator.” While I have never been the type of guy who wants to know too much (particularly the whens and hows of life ending) but I took this little quiz just for kicks and goggles but came away with something fascinating, both scary and wonderful at the same time. Check this out…

When you go to this “life expectancy calculator” on MSN.com’s website it asks you for several rounds of key information, everything from height and weight to history of diseases in family and your current habits. You guys know the drill. So I took a few moments to enter this information. When I got to the weight part I was very proud to enter a number that began with a 2 (for the record, I may be back down to 238 officially but I entered 240 just to be safe). Also, I had to guess on cholesterol levels but at least had my latest blood pressure readings from recent doctors visits (a healthy 120 over 80). Anyhow, I plugged in this info, all seven pages of it, and out came my result. According to this calculator I am gonna live until I am about 80, which is good (I think). That puts me at about half-life, if this calculator is to be believed and makes me very much like our own sun which, at about five-billion years old, is at half-life itself.

PS: I like being sunny.

Now for the scary yet exciting part. Again, for kicks and giggles, I entered information about my “former” self. The guy who started this weight loss journey back in 2005 at 400 pounds, had high blood pressure and was well on his way to – let’s just say an unhealthy life with poor quality of life. Shit! I couldn’t believe my eyes. When I entered in all my stats (again, taking my best guesses about blood pressure and cholesterol stats) my life expectancy was only 61 years! 61!!!!!

It seems, according to this calculator, I extended my life almost 20 years by losing all that weight. Woohoo!!!

Then I became sad. What if I had stayed 400 pounds? There is certainly no guarantee that I would have lived to even 61 at that weight and health level and you can’t convince me that I wasn’t well on my way to not being on this earth for very long past 40 eating and living the way I was.

Then I became excited. I thought, “I did put years, and good ones, back on my life by losing weight!” I thought about having almost 20 more years to do the things I’ve always wanted to do in life and became instantly grateful to God for the chances to do them in a healthier, leaner body – some of which I couldn’t physcially do because people wouldn’t let me.

I know that things like this “life expectancy calculator” are very subjective, non-scientific ways to tell you a story they do serve one purpose – they can help show you that losing weight, eating right, having good habits (like not smoking) and exercising DO ABSOLUTELY play a part in your longevity. And if you are anything like me you want as much time on this planet as possible to do those wonderful amazing things before we really and truly have to think about mortality.

So go ahead, ANSWER THE QUESTIONS AND USE THE CALCULATOR. What could it hurt? You have nothing to lose but almost everything to learn and gain…

Day sixty-six.

Well, here we are again, Hump Day, when we stop working to pay taxes and actually begin earning the wages we take home. In other words, we start working for ourselves. Today is interesting because Hump Day, for me, has two meanings. One, I am still trying to get over the hump of losing this extra bit of weight (grrrrrr). Two, I have been working for myself with working out, which means today I am going to my martial arts class later on this afternoon.

I don’t know about you guys but I feel damn good when I work for myself in anything, whether it is cooking, cleaning, doing laundry or working out. The fruits of that labor are seeing the completed food, a clean house, folded and available laundry and/or a scale with a lower number than yesterday. Those are the cool things about working for oneself. You get to set your own “blank,” and fill in that “blank” with whatever is appropriate for you…”hours,” “pace,” “schedule,” “goals,” etc. However, you also then have no one to answer to but you, and if you’re anything like me, we can be our own worst “blanks” (”bosses,” “critics,” “detractors,” etc.).

Let’s start with this weight loss thing of mine. Dammit all to hell! I thought I’d have this extra weight off by now. On one hand I am still doing very well. I have kept off the majority of the 175 I’ve lost but I still have a very stubborn 13 pounds to go to re-reach my goal. Being my own boss I have to say I haven’t been a very good “employee.” I’ve let me get away with lots. I’ve slacked off at times, ate what I wasn’t supposed to, had portions that were larger than needed, etc. But, when push comes to shove, like with keeping up with the martial arts workouts, I am good and dedicated and I know I will eventually lose that 13 pounds (which still is better than the 20 pounds it once was).

See, that’s what I mean. Even though I am doing well I still am able to find fault and that is both good and bad. It is good because it keeps me focused on continuing my good streak and my weight loss journey. It’s bad because you have to give yourself a “win” every now and then to stay happy and keep up morale and I don’t because instead of thinking about the weight I’ve been able to keep off with better eating and exercise I focus on what I’ve re-gained. I’ve had jobs like that, jobs that never looked at the good I was doing for the organization and always focused on the bad. What they didn’t have. “We didn’t get what the other guy got,” etc., and I was tired of that shit mainly because it was unfair. It set me up to fail because 1) I had to be a mind-reader to know the stupid, misguided whims and ideas of my old bosses and 2) I had to constantly beat the ground to produce (and believe me, I produced tons to the point where those fruits came to bear after I was “vocationally liberated”) and there is only so much you can do before press people get tired of hearing from you and start ignoring you. That is how PR works and that is how weight loss should not.

If you’ve lost ten pounds but gained back five, you’ve still lost five pounds and have kept it off. That is awesome. I have to remind myself to “take that win” and run with it. Sure, can and should we re-lose that other five, absolutely! But let’s look at what we’ve accomplished and take that win, too, for it is a big win especially on Hump Day, when all of us work hard to enjoy the fruits of our labor. For me, I am still seeing a big 2 at the beginning of my weight instead of a 4. The second digit is a 3 and is not a 4, 5 or (egads) 6.  And that last number will go down from the 8 it is currently. I know it will.

Hey, at least my “employee” didn’t drink another whole half-gallon of orange juice today. For that I am grateful. That is a win in-and-of itself. Have a great day, everyone.

Day sixty-one.

Happy weekend, everyone! And what a beautiful weekend it’s supposed to be. Sunny and high’s in the low to mid 70s. Awesome weather (and probably our last chance to really get out and do outdoorsy stuff before the reality that Fall is here finally hits and we have to bundle up in sweaters, jackets and hats – oh, my).

I had a great day yesterday, anchored by the fact I continue to go down in my weight thanks in no small part to the three-and-a-half miles I did on the elliptical yesterday. I did that right around lunchtime and it felt great. It made me remember a time when I worked at the aquarium. When I made the decision to lose weight I would get up and walk around the building and use as many steps as I could to get my lunch. In other words I had to work for it just a little more and it paid off. Hell, it continues to pay off. I am at 238.0 today and I feel great.

I also had a great day yesterday because I had the chance to be moderator for a panel on healthy eating tips for people on-the-go. It was a blast! It was almost like every food group was represented but with people - a “Breakfast Club” of sorts. However, instead of a jock, a basket case, a princess, a brain and a criminal we had a chef, a dual restaurant owner, a mom’s health advocate, a world-renowned author on health advocacy and a City of Philadelphia Councilwoman. Each one of the panelists was fantastic, and the chef (for the restaurant Seasons 52) brought everyone in attendance small samples of healthy-portioned desserts. Again, awesome (and delicious – that pecan pie was amazing).

Most of all I had a chance to share my weight loss story. I get absolutely excited to share with people my weight loss journey and how I discovered the keys to losing weight and keeping it off. That invigorates me and helps keep me going, especially after meeting some cool people including a woman who is having pain in her knees (just like I had) from carrying around extra weight she is trying to lose. I also met a police officer who is on his own fantastic weight loss journey having already lost about 60 pounds, although he now has to contend with a back injury that is sidelining his exercise routine. I wished them and others well and much luck in their own journeys and I will say that hearing people and their trials and successes helps keep me going, too.

Any of you know that I always have a little bit of extra worry about not exercising and eating too much going into weekends. Well, today is Friday and I know I do not have to worry one bit because I am so juiced! I had a great day and night yesterday, I have been making food at home and loving it (and saving a massive amount of money in the process of not eating out so much), I am continuing to exercise (and yes, I am gonna be doing my martial arts workout today and hitting the gym this weekend at least once more) and most of all I am appreciating life. I am human and do enjoy food, sometimes a bit too much, but with each day brings new chances and new beginnings and this day is just as full of those new chances. So today I am going to embrace those chances and make the most of my opportunities to invest time and energy and sweat into the best investment of all – me. And you should, too. Even if it’s just a walk around the block or park, an extra push-up (or just one or two) or sit-up and  jumping jack, invest some of your energy in you.  Not only will it leave you feeling great but it’s a wonderful way to begin or continue a weight loss journey, begin a weekend and make the sky that much bluer and the air that much warmer.

Have a great weekend. I will talk to you all on Monday.

Day Fifty-seven.

Did you guys ever watch “Lost In Space” when you were a kid? Of course, I wasn’t around when the original 60s show was on the air but I did catch them in reruns throughout my childhood and remember, very vividly, Dr. Smith, the mischievous stowaway (and comic relief) whose favorite way of complaining was to say “Oh, the pain…Oh, the pain…”

Well, my friends. Oh, the pain ! Do I ever ache today! And today is way better than yesterday!!! My sensei, the awesome Doug Shaffer, warned me that the first mixed martial arts workout back from being out for a bit was going to hurt. But, damn!!! He didn’t warn me my legs were gonna burn and feel like spaghetti for two days straight! Well, O.K., he actually did but I keep telling myself it’s a good pain (and I know it is). It’s just a bitch when I am trying to get back into the routine and my muscles ache like when I first started weight loss and martial arts fitness months ago.

It started out just as I expected. My body needed serious warming up. Sensei Doug invited me to come a few minutes early to check out the adult karate class going on as a sort of dual “get inspiration to jump back in”/”see some of the things we’ve learned put into use.” That was very cool, especially since I learned a neat block a potential clubbing move. Anywho…the time came for me to take to the mat and I started my day.

Sensei went easy on my to begin with, just some light punching of the bag, followed by kicking. But that’s when things started to get rough. We did line work, we did tricep dips (how I struggled to get through my usually good 20), we did push-ups (at least I did ten really good, almost full push-ups), more line work, ab rocking and kicking, more punching, more kicking, Turkish get-ups, lunges, the four corners…and despite the awesome stretches after it was enough to turn my limbs into little more than useless linguine. By the time my hour was over I was sweating but I could feel how much I hadn’t worked out…and how much I knew I was gonna feel it later.

Later that afternoon I took a really long as-close-to-hot-as-I-get shower and that seemed to help. “Seemed” being the operative word. Little did I know what was in store for me yesterday…

When I woke up it was as if I was being weighed down my a ton of bricks that burned my arms and legs (especially my legs) every time I tried to move. Oh yes, I felt every minute of that 60-minute workout. I know I’m gonna be a great old guy one day because all I wanted to do (besides moan and groan) was to sit in a nice comfy position with the greatest invention ever – the heating pad – and just not move. In other words, I sooooo wished I had the power of telekinesis (or the Force) to call things to me.

But, it was a good pain. It really was. One of the things I knew during my workout, besides that I knew I was gonna hurt) was how much I missed doing it. How much I missed being on the mat, hitting the bag and making myself sweat. Did my abs, arms, back and (most of all) legs hurt? You bet your ass. But it’s supposed to hurt. That’s why the word “work” is in workout. It is work but it’s work you put into yourself and that always feels good.

Today’s blog is late (and so sorry about that, loyal readers) due to a dental appointment today. However, I am going to try to make it to the gym later to begin my normal workouts again. Why? Because I am down to 241.0 today and that feels awesome! It’s better than the 243.3 I was on Friday and it’s better every day. So I can’t wait to hit the gym to do some elliptical work, as well as some extra tricep dips to catch myself back up. Yes, a workout hurts from time to time but always remember two things…

…one, whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…

…two, pain is only temporary. Quitting lasts forever, and I sure as heck ain’t gonna quit my weight loss journey. No matter how much I feel my thighs burning from lunges today.