Determined To Succeed

Day forty-six.

You ever get a “wild hair?” That urge so strong to do something that it just takes over your actions until it comes to fruition? Well, these past weeks, which have been the most mentally healthy of my life, I have had a few wild hairs come across my mind to do, most notably the wild hairs to clean, to workout and to cook.

Take, for instance, last night. I had a wild hair to cook and cook Italian. I just had to smell garlic, tomatoes and onions saute in a pan with some olive oil. I don’t know why but I did. I wanted to feel like a chef, I guess, filling the house with the aroma of food being prepared. I love standing at the counter chopping vegetables and heating up a pan and throwing them in even though it’s hot as hell in the kitchen. Now, because I didn’t take all day to prepare a true “gravy” I used my saute to doctor some already made sauce (a sin, I know, but I will make a better “gravy” soon). Then I topped it off with a nice slices of Italian sausage. Damn, that was tasty and I ate only one portion. Now it was a slightly bigger portion than I should have had but the important thing is that there are leftovers and I stopped myself from eating more, and that’s a great thing.

I have also been finding I love doing things where I invest a bit of sweat-equity in myself. I love going to the gym and working out like I have these past few days. I love doing a half-hour on my elliptical, shadowboxing, roundhouse kicks, tricep dips (since I am still trying to put ammo in my “guns”), push-ups…the whole lot. I love going to my mixed martial arts class and having the sweat drip onto the mat (that’s an honor, by the way).  Most of all, I love seeing the numbers on my scale sloooooooly decrease (I am at 238.5 today) as I work toward re-reaching my goal of 225. And did I mention I can’t wait to workout again today?

Finally, I have really enjoyed the cleaning wild hair. I am just digging through crap and purging things I truly don’t need and finding out how much, well, crap there really was. This is mainly due to the work I have been doing mentally and emotionally. I purging crap there, too. That is how you know good work is being done – when you can get down to the core of the matter and see what caused X, Y and Z which helps you with A, B and C. And did you guys know hoarding is a way of dealing with abandonment issues? I sure as hell didn’t until my therapist told me. But it makes all the sense in the world.Also, as I get down to things and purge I find it is helping me not binge eat, too. So amazing how that all ties together.

Well, all I can say is that these wild hairs have been most beneficial to me lately. They are part of the stuff helping make me an evolving and better man, one who is changing a little bit every day to be healthier. And it’s certainly working for my weight loss, too. Not only am I cooking more these days but I’m curbing my consumption levels again (which is helping bring that weight down more and more) AND saving a shitload of money in the process. Amazing what NOT eating out all the time can do, eh?

Well, that’s all I got for today. A short and sweet blog to help keep you going. Oh, and if you get one of those wild hairs to take time for yourself, listen to them and do them. You won’t be sorry because nothing feels as good as when you are working on you for a change.

Day forty-five.

My friends,  since I don’t know what time of day you usually catch all the blog that’s fit to type (thank you, New York Times) I will wish you good day. I feel so energized today for two reasons: one, I had a wowzer of a twelve-step meeting last night and I am down in my weight thanks to some mighty powerful positive energy and a kick-ass workout yesterday at the gym.

Let’s start with the gym…

I know I’ve said this before but I am sticking to my guns now – I am making working out my religion again. No, there is nothing that replaces God, but working out makes me feel, well, “high.” It gives me both a physical and mental boost and I got the chance yesterday to work out – both physically and mentally – a lot of the demons that had come to visit these past couple of days.  It felt good to employ much of what my sensei Doug Shaffer is teaching me about mixed martial arts as part of my workout. I did leg work and arm work. Hell, I even did roundhouse kicks and had a great day with my ever-aging hip. I did my tricep dips, push-ups and shadowboxing (which works up a sweat by itself). Also , I am eating better, too. That is the vital co-component to any weight loss, don’t forget. I am working out AND also not eating the comfort foods, and I am drinking more water. Because of that I am enjoying my new downward trend, thank you very much. Even with just a few days of recommitment I saw a 239.2 on my scale today, and I so can’t wait to hit the gym again today. Woohoo!!!!

As for my twelve-step meeting last night I have to say it was a whopper. You’ve heard me talk about my meetings before but last night I attended such a powerful meeting I just have to share. I will never betray the tenets of the meetings (meaning I will never discuss details, names, etc.) but suffice it to say I am a true believer in those meetings. They offer places in which individuals from all walks of life can  let it all out and allows people to  express themselves – whether through anger, sadness, contemplation or happiness – in the safest, most non-judgmental environments. We are all there for various reasons connected through addiction, but I pray for some of those people sometimes. I really do, especially in a world that would shun, ridicule, belittle or make fun of us for even being there. At least for that hour we are safe from all that BS, and our shame, anger, worry, resentment and misery all have company.

When I left that meeting I looked up at the sky and thanked God for the positive things and people in my life, because many people in that room do not have that going for them, and many also have other addictions they are fighting, not the least of which is food – something to which I can totally relate. That’s why I was so jazzed to hit the gym. Working out centers me. It lets me know I am putting sweat-equity into myself and doing work on myself both spiritually and physically. It helps me make “living amends” to myself and others and keeps me on the path to be that better man.

Have a wonderful, positive day, my friends. Go and conquer the world, or at least your parts of it. You are so worthy of success in whatever form, but especially in weight loss. If losing weight is your goal, go for it. I am proud of you and with you 100%. And I know this blog is rambly today and I apologize. I am still in utter appreciation, wonder and, admittedly, shock over some of the things I heard last night. And even when I might not feel O.K.  I will be O.K. We all will be because of one simple thing…we are here now, and present in our own lives and that makes all the difference in the world. And  I am going to do my best to stay here and be here for as long as I am here.

Hear, hear!

Day fifteen.

It’s a bright and sunny day today.The sky is clear, absolutely clear and the rest of the day lies ahead. How many times did I say that to try to look at the day optimistically? To make the most of the time and beauty in a day? Many, many times, I know. And there were times, especially in my weight loss, where I did make the most of that time, like when I made time to get a workout. But in my addiction that gradually regressed until many of my days were pissed away with me only doing the bare minimum.

I attended my fourth twelve-step meeting yesterday and my first direct appointment on Saturday, and both were great at helping cut through the stuff and get to the core of what brought me to this point.  It was the fear of not being liked and it was that fear that truly got me so far away from who I was that I lost sight of me for a long, long time…and made me eventually lose sight of my religion, as well.

When I say religion I do not necessarily mean going to church and praying, although there is a component to that, too. No, I meant my religion in terms of taking care of myself and working out. These past couple of weeks have truly challenged me into acknowledging how much I let that slip in all this. I am a believer in God. I know there are many variations of higher beings out there for many different people and beliefs, and that’s cool. But I do believe in God and as much as I haven’t attended actual church I stopped praying at the alter of the elliptical, free weights and leg presses, too.

This last week specifically I have been making that time to reconnect with working out. I added in at least one hour every day solely dedicated to hitting the gym. And almost every day last week (save for one where it was unavoidable to not workout) I got my ass back to the gym to not only supplement the martial arts training but to get back to my core, the man I want to become physically, too. And it’s working. It really is working.

Like I said attending the meetings has been such a wonderful thing in so many ways, but it also serves as a reminder that I do have an obligation to restore the healthy in my life and to strive for that every single day because some people cannot or do not have the strength to do that. The meetings are the great reminder of one’s core gifts, and while we are all the same in that room you can tell, just tell, who is O.K. coming out of a meeting and who is holding on this/close to losing it all.

I came that close. I really did. Everything that’s happened has brought me to a point in life where I not only really face me for the first time but also deal with what’s really going on inside, what really made me act this way. I am actually excited again about things, among them going back to “church.” My church. The church of the gym and of fitness. The only thing I did right all this time was lose weight and I have to keep doing it right if for no one else than myself. But also for you guys, too.

We all lose our way. I know we do. In the twelve-step meetings they explain how there is no shame and no judgment. Just a way to connect with people going through the same stuff so you do know you’re not alone. The same can be said for this blog. I am human. I’ve always said that. I slip up and eat shit I’m not supposed to and there are days I don’t feel like working out. But there is no way we will get the results we want until we address our stuff and get to work. Not just physically but mentally, and not just mentally but physically. Plain and simple.

These past couple of weeks, part of what’s saved me and made my mind free is that exercise, the actual sweating, kicking and hitting a bag, doing six push-ups kind of exercise. Also, part of what’s saved me is the actual going to the gym by myself and hitting the elliptical, doing my kicks and punches in there, too, my tricep dips and my crunch turns. That is awesome. I am glad to say I am getting back in touch with religion. I know we all don’t believe in God, or a God, or even have something/someone to whom to pray. But that’s alright. That is a very personal thing, and it’s for each and every one of us to find whether we pray at the alter of the Lord or pray at the alter of the gym.

Thankfully, these days I’ve been doing both.

It’s amazing what punching and kicking a heavy bag will do to get your mind right again.

Yesterday was my usual martial arts class and, as usual, I worked myself up into a sweat within minutes which is totally awesome. I knew with the funk I have been in I needed to get my head back in the game and punching and kicking the bag was just what the doctor (inside my head) ordered. Problem is it is so physically taxing I can easily wear myself out. You’d be surprised how just shadowboxing can make you sweat and wear you out. Don’t believe me, try it sometime. Stand in front of a mirror (not too close) and throw some punches using your reflection as your opponent. Throwing a punch and having it make no contact uses a ton of energy. It is great, and you will not look as silly as you think you are doing it. Trust me, it rocks.

And can I just tell you guys – I DID MY ONE SOLID AND TRUE PUSH-UP!

It may not seem like a big deal to many of you but that is (no pun intended) HUGE for me! I have never, even when I was a kid, been able to do a real, honest-to-goodness push-up (defined as using just your arms with spine straight and not your belly to push you up). Well, I did one and I have to say it absolutely helped fuel the rest of my workout. It helped me not overeat yesterday. It is helping to get my mind right. I feel like freaking Superman today because of that one push-up. Why? Because one will eventually lead to two, then to three, etc.

That’s why it is so bloody important none of us give up. I know I’ve been down in the dumps lately but, as I am always fond of saying, it is only temporary. I know it is. I just need to reckon with it and be able to put it away. You guys can do the same, too. Whatever funk you all are in, it is only temporary. Yesterday was Hump Day and I do think I got over that hump.

Again, it’s amazing what punching and kicking a heavy bag will do. That and the power in one single, tried-and-true push-up.

Today, I’m going to concentrate on the things that will make me productive and positive and move me in the best ways I know how. That also means not getting the Chick-Fil-A peach shake I so desperately want (those things are damned good). It means drinking that water and working out later, too. It means heading to the gym and doing some shadowboxing of my own to work up that sweat to keep seeing those results. It means getting my mind right.

Come to think of it, I now know why my mom, JoAnn, used to ball up socks and throw them at me and me at her when I was a kid. It was our way of working out frustrations in a fun yet exhausting way. It was wonderful and she made a game out of it. And it always made us laugh. Wow. I get it now. As I sit and write this tears are coming to my eyes because another piece of the puzzle has been placed. Amazing! It took me all this time to realize it was fun, positive release.  It was simple. It was wonderful. It was so us. Thank you, Mama.

See. This is what I mean by getting your mind right. It may not ever be readily apparent but simple exertions like punching and kicking a bag can trigger something, something special, that knocks things back into alignment – like the WHY of me and mom throwing socks at each other. It’s so cool. Cooler than words can say and better than any word can ever express.

Crap!!!! I’m so behind the eight ball!!!!

How many times do we start the day saying that phrase? A lot, I know. Even today, my weight loss blog is soooo late (and my complete apologies to you all) because I’m just returned from the conference in Atlanta and I am pretty wiped out. Enough so that I slept really late today and had to make an early appointment before I sat down to put fingers to keyboard.

While there may be some debate as to the origin of the phrase “behind the eight ball” we usually take it to mean being “in a tight spot,” or “not likely to win.” But do we all realize how much we place ourselves “behind the eight ball,” especially when it comes to losing weight? Or in life? Not enough, I’d imagine.

Recently I’ve tried to be way more Zen about weight loss. I said yesterday that I was sure I’ve gained weight at the conference I attended, and I did. But it was only two-and-a-half pounds. Not too shabby for having such a limited food selection and not working out the way I wanted to. But I know I will lose it (or in my case re-lose it. Or is it re-re-lose it?). I am just choosing to not, I repeat NOT, put myself behind the eight ball when it comes to this stuff. I am choosing not to stress out about certain things, like gaining a couple of pounds on a business trip, waking up late and having to get to a meeting before writing, because that makes me nervous and anxious and all sorts of discombobulated – key factors in me stress eating. See how that works? In other words we are, most times, not behind an eight ball at all, we only think we are.

All too often we choose not to see how much we can actually calm our own lives down. I know there are times when we think we screw up, do rash or impulsive things, worry, don’t have enough time to finish projects, meet enough people, get from points A to Z, etc. But on our weight loss journey, as I’ve always said, the number one person you have to take care of is you. You are the most important thing, deadline, task or meeting you have to do.  Most of all, it will be OK. It is OK.

This blog may be late but I am OK with that. I just know I have a lot to tackle today and I will get to it. Like my exciting entry in Oprah’s “Win Your OWN Show” contest. Like planning to go to New York for Book Expo America next week to try to get in front of publishers. Like even paying bills. It will all get done. I just need to focus, not get caught up in how many things I need to do and just do them, one by one, until they are done.

So today’s blog my be short but it’s sweet and to the point. By just calming down and relaxing I can take away my nervous “need” for different crappy foods that may be fast but are unhealthy. By calming down I can take control of my day and my life and my eating so I know I take a moment, breathe, think about what foods I am consuming and remove myself from the eight ball.

I don’t know if you all play pool or not (I do on bar occasions when one is handy and not occupied by stupid drunk people) but I like the simplicity of pool. It may take a passing knowledge of physics and definitive skill to sink solids or stripes into the corner pocket but it’s your mastery of that eight ball that wins you the game.

Is it me, or did this week seem to fly by? Were we that busy? Did we have that many things to do to fill up the 80 or so productive Monday through Friday hours we had to work and take care of other life stuff (I assume that the other 40 hours were spent resting and/or sleeping)?

And during that time, did you devote any time towards yourself? Did you take time to smell the roses? While it may seem cliche to most, and maybe even downright cheesy to some, the phrase is extremely appropriate in today’s world particularly in terms of weight loss,

I know I will sound like a broken record from time to time (like when I say I fear the weekends because I tend to over eat during them) but if we do not take time to smell the roses, so to speak, how can we possibly take the time to take care of ourselves especially trying to lose weight? Let me put it another way. We always make time for work meetings, social gatherings at or because of work (i.e the requisite netwrking event), etc. but when wa sthe last time you scheduled a meeting with yourself for yourself to benefit you?

Imagine it. A large conference room. Basic conference room table in the middle surrounded by chairs with one placed at the head of said table. You walk in and take a seat in one of the chairs that is not at the head of the table. And there you sit and wait. Then, as if out of nowhere you walk in and take the seat at the head of thge table. You stare at you and after some small “how’s your day going” chit-chat you get down to brass tax.

“Bill, I wanna discuss Bill today. I am worried about him. He seems down. I know his weight has been up recently. And while he has been decent at his job he’s been neglecting himself. What’s your take?”

Responding, “Oh, I agree. He’s made time for everyone but himself and he needs to take time and smell the roses. He needs to schedule time for himself.”

“OK. Let’s call him in.”Reaching for the speaker phone that always seems to be in the middle of any corporate conference room table the you at the head of the table dials your extension. ”Bill! Would you come in for a minute please?”

You then walk in. Nervous you’ve been called to yet another meeting when you need to get soooooo much done and knowing if you don’t get it done heads will roll. You take a gulp of air and nervously ask, “You wanted to see me?”

The head of the table you engages. “Bill, You’re fantastic but we, er, that is you, need some time to ourselves/yourself. You are way too valuable to burn out and not do for you the way you do for everything else in your life. So, we have come to the conclusion that you need to schedule one more meeting every day and that meeting will be devoted to you. It’s your time and you will use it for stretching, sit-ups, push-ups, working out, walking, running, yoga, anything to enhance your weight loss. Understand?”

You are dumbfounded but relieved, as if a small weight has been lifted. “You mean I will be working on me and giving me some time during the day?”

“Yup.”

“Thank you. I really appreciate that.”

“Bill, don’t thank us. Just remember you’re worth it. Now don’t go being all afraid of weekends. If you’re afraid of eating then just prepare for knowing you’re weak. Go and work out. Do something other than obsess about food. Have a great weekend.”

“Thanks, you too.”

This may sound a little spacey - the written equivalent to talking to oneself (hey, I do work from home and I do go a little batty) – but I want you guys to flip open your dayplanners, blackberries, crackberries, blueberries, iPhones, iPads,Droids or whatever holds your daily calendars and set this kind of meeting for yourselves. And when you do think about how important you are to yourself. You are worthy of the time you think you DON’T have. You are so worthy of that same attention, if not more.

Hopefully, you will thank yourself for that meeting as well as making the time to smell the roses every now and then.

Oh man. Thanks to a shot of Nyquil last night (and day two of this cold) I feel as though I’ve been hit by a Mack truck this morning. I actually feel slightly better, though, thanks to some wonderful soup for dinner and orange juice. Lots and lots of orange juice. I’ve had so much orange juice since yesterday afternoon you could split me open and squeeze me and probably fill a glass for yourself.

But man, I feel out of it. I know that’s the body’s way of saying “go back to bed (and don’t you worry, I will be) but I had to get up and write.

Yesterday I wrote about feeding a cold. Well, I fed it alright. I fed it a thin pizza for lunch and that afore-mentioned soup. I gave it all the water it could drink and, again, orange juice. I fed it so that it would get the hell out of my body. Unfortunately that didn’t happen. Oh well. So day two of the cold is here. It’s nestled somewhere deep in my chest (which is where colds seem to like to reside in my body) and I have the voice that’s a cross between someone whose sick and someone who DJ’s for a living at the late night jazz radio station.

I know I’m not describing anything new to you guys when I talk about how this cold is making me feel. Suffice it to say I don’t have the energy God gave a flea so this is day two of not only having a cold but also not working out. Grrrrrr. A total drag I don’t mind telling you. I know, I know. It’s better I just rest and deal with whatever pounds I gain from just eating and sleeping later. But I do worry. I know as soon as I’m able I will be back in the gym working out. There’s just a part of me wishing I could do that now, leaving the sick part of me at home to sleep.

Oooooh, does sleep sound good. OK, before I go back to bed I just wanted to say this: it is better to feed that cold. I know I feel horrible today but I feel that way because my body is fighting a bug and is concentrating all its energy on that. That energy comes from the calories and the entire orchard of orange juice I seemed to drink yesterday. So don’t be afraid to give the body the foods it needs to recover.

You (and I) will work off those added pounds. When we feel better that is.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz……….

In my past life in public relations I worked for an aquarium. Working there was cool. Not only did I learn a lot about the life aquatic I was given the opportunity to participate in a swim with the sharks snorkel experience. It was in a word awesome. To see a shark coming at you and knowing you shouldn’t move was out of this world exciting! And by the way, most sharks are docile and don’t bother you unless you bother them or look like food dangling in the top four or so feet of a body of water.

After that experience I was intrigued by all things water and scuba diving. Don’t ask me how or why I got that bug to learn diving but I did. Ever since I was young, while having a fundamental knowledge of how to swim, I was afraid of the deep end of the pool. I guess it was the sensation of not having my feet on terra firma, possible drowning and not being able to breathe – you know, normal stuff. But I had all of my diving buddies at the aquarium tell me how cool it is so I sucked it up and signed up for dive classes.

If you’ve never done this yourself or know someone who has the training is broken up into two parts – actual water training exercises in a pool and classroom training. In this classroom training there is one thing, one mantra, that is above all others when it comes to learning to scuba dive. Plan your dive and dive your plan.

You might be saying to yourself “that’s sounds logical,” but they drill that into your head because, most times, divers need to be reminded to extensively plan a dive, every aspect of it, before placing one fin (not flipper) in the water. This simple mantra is the difference between a successful dive and one that could go disastrously wrong.

Weight loss is exactly the same.

As we approach New Year’s Eve many of us will either be making a resolution to begin losing weight or re-affirm our commitment to our weight loss journey. In either case it is imperative to go into this (or continue) with a plan for success. Seeing a goal is one thing. But achieving it takes not just guts but also a step-by-step way to get to that goal. It is a simple thing to do but it’s where most of us lose our air and bail on the resolution weeks, days, even hours after making it.

You make plans to go to the grocery store, right? You never go not knowing what you need. Imagine what it would be like going into any store blindly. It would be overwhelming, confusing and you’d walk out with nothing. That’s why we make lists before we get to a store. So we know what we need, how much of it and plan for it for a specific purpose. Oh sure there’s the general milk, eggs, bread (mmmmm, breakfast) but you buy a power adapter for a computer or a 20-ounce can of pumpkin for specific reasons. Think of weight loss and maintenance the same way.

If you want to lose twenty pounds (an arbitrary number I just plucked from thin air) then ask yourself…

…how long will I give myself to get there?

…what foods do I need to eat/give up to achieve my goal?

…how will I increase my working out/activity/exercise?

…when will I tell people?

I have always stated you should tell your friends you are trying. They will be a support system for you, like you guys and my friends are to me. Then set about writing down on paper the answers to the other questions. And writing it down makes it that much more real. But when you’re done you have the plan for your diving into weight loss. You can, of course feel free to modify, tweak and add to this plan but it’s a great start.

Now all that’s left is to dive into your plan.

We do it at work all the time. Strategy sessions that turn into “actionable steps” (God, I can’t believe I am using ho-hum corporate-speak). We do it when we’re going out (what to wear, how long it will take to get there so we’re not late, etc.). So let’s turn that into something for you. “Actionable steps” for the most important thing in the world you have to take care of – yourself.

So with just a few days to go before New Year’s Eve/Day think about this. What will your plan look like. My plan involves going easier on the Cokes for a bit, maintaining my workouts and eating more steamed foods instead of fried. I am human, and I do need to come up for air every now and then to eat what I want…

…but if I didn’t have my plan I’d be lost, floundering in the water adrift at sea.

‘Twas the night (o.k.  day)  before Christmas, when all through the house

every creature was stirring, even the small mouse.

The snackings were laid out by the kitchen with care,

In hopes that visitors soon would be there.

I was nestled all snug on my couch

while visions of sugar-plums, cakes and turkey danced in my head – made me feel like a slouch.

So I got up and put on my workout clothes,

before the urge set in to settle in for a long winter’s nap.

When I reached the gym there was nary a clatter.

I looked around in disbelief to see what was the matter.

No one was working out, they took the holiday off

But with my favorite elliptical open, I knew not to scoff.

So off to it I flew like a flash,

To do my four miles before I had to dash.

Ah, the windows were alight with the sun’s bright glow

As I watched my machine’s TV (HLN) to see the presents highlighted on their morning show,

when, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles (or Flyers, or Sixers, or Phillies) his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

“Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!

To the weight machines! to the workout mats along the wall!

Now work out! work out! work out all!”

I always wondered how he kept so fit,

even in this season of eating, sometimes healthy, sometimes S&%t

After about half-an-hour, just like me they flew,

up to the gym-top and then I knew,

St. Nicholas had seen I was a good boy this year,

trying so hard to get my butt in gear.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I kept peddling, and was looking around,

St. Nicholas dropped a note all bound.

It said “Mr. Bill (oh, no!), you’ve been quite good this year

you conquer your weight loss demons with sometimes laughter, sometimes tears

but you stay true to your weight loss cause

just as my name is Santa Claus.

Keep up the good work and I will too,

And try not to eat too much of Mrs. Claus’ stew.

As this is the time of year we’re teased into thinking

that we’ll find comfort in the food and the drinking.

That is not so. You know it’s true

And as I am busy I take my leave of you.

In this next year of two-thousand ten

My wish for you and your friends is for a healthier yen.”

I then heard him spring to his sleigh and give his team a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

And at the end of my work out I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good weight loss fight.”

My friends, good morning to you. Well, I kept my promise to you (and to myself) and purchased a new digital scale.

If you’ve been following me for a while you will know that my scale has been a bit wonky as of late so I took myself to Target yesterday and stood in front of the endcap for at least ten minutes trying to decide which one of these things was I going to buy. As an aside, I always advocate getting an electronic scale because it is far more accurate than the old kind with it’s bounce-back-and-forth wheel-of-fortune hash marks.

I mean, really. There were scales there ranging in price from about $19 – $45, and I was torn between being a cheap – er, I mean, economically frugal – guy and a guy who cares about good quality and accuracy in his weight loss battle. The Weight Watchers scale, which was $45, would do everything including measure your BMI (body mass index). I seriously considered buying that one but then two things hit me. 1) I despise the BMI scale. I think the BMI scale is detrimental because it simply doesn’t take into account a person’s individual build when “calculating” how much they should weigh based on their height and solely on height. 2) It really wasn’t work an extra $15, especially in today’s economy, to get that one when the next one down looked good, just as pur-ty and did almost all the same things.

So, I went with a scale that was mid-range. As a man with heft I always like buying electronics that have heft (clue: to a guy that means it’s sturdier and works better) so I took a deep breath and bought the Taylor brand scale with it’s extra-large readout screen that glows at night (for that oh-so-important need to read the scale but not necessarily see yourself in the process). I was at first skeptical of Taylor because the supposed “long-life” scale I purchased about two years ago. That one was supposed to last me a millennia or something like that and I trusted it…that is until it LIED to me and started telling me what I wanted to hear and not what I needed to hear.

After a frustrating bit replacing the batteries in my “brand new” scale (grrrr – if you buy one take it out of the box and try it in the store) I got on and holy s$%t was my old scale off. It had been lying to me for some time and wow did I buy it. Like a friend who says “oh no, you’re not fat.” Turns out that old, broken-down scale was 12 pounds off.

With friends like that, who needs enemies?

While that 12 pounds was my guess (remember I thought it was at least ten off) I wasn’t prepared to see 238 again on the scale. Egads, I’ve been slacking off and eating waaaaaaay too much bad food. I do get up and work out every day but wow, I now know I need to cut back on food again and re-lose (sigh, again) 13 lbs.

I am grateful to my new electronic scale friend. It is that friend we all NEED in this weight loss journey, the kind that will not lie to you and let’s you know exactly what’s up. That old scale is the friend you don’t need but sometimes WANT, who while there on the journey, comforts you when it really should be kicking you in the pants and telling you “no, that’s not good and you need to work harder.”

Stupid scale.

Well, I just want you guys to know I am human and I now have an accurate-as-hell scale to tell me my butt needs to lose weight. But I will. Not just because that’s part of my covenant to you guys as a human being but because I finally can stop living in my dream world of the number I want to see and start living in the now.

Ugh.