Determined To Succeed

Day twenty-three.

“Ugh.” That’s all I have to say. I am finally up and around today after having a massive allergy attack last night. You know the kind I mean. The ones where you sneeze yourself into a headache (where you can’t stop sneezing at all), where your eyes are all puffy, throat is all drippy and nothing seems to help much. So I say again, “ugh!” Although, and on a positive note,  I did alright food-wise having had a great homemade beef stew. Not only that but only having an appropriate portion of it, too. This way I have lunch AND dinner tonight as well. Awesome.

It just sucks ass when your sick. That sneezing, head-achy allergy attack turned into something of a summer cold and my throat is dry and hurting today. Now, the good news about all that is that I do not feel like eating. The bad news is I don’t feel much like doing anything today except, well, laying around saying “ugh.”

Let’s talk for a moment about the virtues of lying on one’s couch flipping channels. You get to catch up on talk shows, game shows and “reality” TV (reality is in quotes because, if you know anything about TV, there ain’t much of it that’s real. It’s contrived and staged with heroes, villains and victims just like scripted TV shows). Or, you get to catch up on a good book or a few movies, whether they’re on cable or in your DVD cue. You get to curl up with one of the best inventions ever – the heating pad – and just be a slug, allowing your body to get the rest it needs to get better.

Now, let’s talk about the bad parts of just lying around. Nothing gets done. Not work, exercise, errands, exercise, laundry, exercise, cleaning and, most of all, exercise (did I mention that already?). And when you do flip channels you realize that the only thing on the tele is crap because 90% of the country is at work so they put on reruns of crap, marathons of whichever “Housewives of” show is being aired and show you what antics Snooki and Jwoww are up to at the “Jersey Shore.” And never mind the fact cable, especially premium channels, are running the same three movies ALL THE TIME. I mean seriously, how many times can the Decepticons take revenge against the Autobots while Shia LaBeouf yells “no, no, no, no, no, no!”

So there’s my catch 22. Rest or push myself. The fact of the matter with me is that I do embrace being sick, I do, and I am content with lying around putting up with bad TV and excessive reruns if it gets me better faster so I can rejoin life. But with these extra pounds to lose I am torn. I wish I could sneeze them out and throw them away in little wadded-up balls of tissue. But I can’t. It takes work, work (and workouts) that I have almost zero energy for today.

So maybe I will compromise with myself. I will get going and do some work and maybe, MAYBE, if I am up to it, go for a walk later. At least that will be something. And it might do me well to get out for a bit and let the hot end-of-summer air work its magic on my nostrils and nasal cavities. That sounds good, but then again so does my couch. Alright, alright, I will get up though and do something to start.

Thanks for listening to me rant today. Being in a weight loss struggle ain’t easy, especially when you’re sick. But good and bad, we are in this together. Hopefully, I will be better enough to kick the bag decently tomorrow in martial arts class. Hell, even the energy for that walk today would be good. But no matter what, I am just thankful to be here, present and sober today. And sick or not, that is an amazing feeling, even when you start the day saying “ugh.”

Day twenty-two.

It’s quiet this morning. I can actually hear myself think. And what am I thinking about? The fact that I had a weekend that was good, really good, and sober. That I was here and present and a participant in my own life instead of being so detached from it I could hardly remember what day it was. The fact I had great workouts and went shopping, and the fact I now have to re-lose some weight because I have been eating a bit too much again because I am, well, stressed.

If you have ever studied addictive behaviors you will find that people almost always replace one addiction with another and an extremely high percentage of them replace their usual drug of choice with food. Being that I am a dual addict and my first drug of choice WAS food it was easy to begin eating a little bit of this and a little bit of that to deal with the stresses of sobriety. Yes, there are stresses in sobriety. Of course there are, and these stresses are constant because you’re always working on your sobriety, like you’re always working on maintaining your weight loss.

I can’t speak for anyone else out there but I stress because I want to make sure I am now on a clean, good and honest path. Because I always want to do the right things and am not sure if some of the things I say are right or not. I struggle with being the newer, better me and having that have the best parts of my personality and not the shitty parts that dominated it before. I struggle because I never want to go back to old Bill again, either in addiction or in weight, and because I struggle I stress eat.

It’s stupid, I know. I do know better. I know that I shouldn’t eat a stupid gyro wrap from my local diner with fries. That was stupid (especially since it wasn’t very good at all and made my stomach all messed up). It’s stupid because I know in my brain eating doesn’t calm stress, it only adds to it eventually. Sure what I eat may taste good at the time but any addict will tell you that the quieting of the brain during addiction comes from the endorphins produced when you give yourself the drug. But when they wear off you feel ashamed and never want to do it again – you just don’t know how to break the cycle.

I am at 235.9 today and I am pissed off at myself. I am pissed off because I can see in my face my cheeks get chubbier again. I feel bloated. I see the numbers creeping up on the scale. Most of all, though, I am pissed because food is so automatic for me I didn’t realize I was eating too much again until yesterday really. That the old patterns were coming back and I need to arrest them, too, especially if I want to maintain the “high” of being sober in other areas of my life.

Look, food is fuel. It isn’t the answer to a problem. It won’t solve money issues. It won’t make pain go away. It won’t solve what’s going on in your life. Used like this it’s only a distraction, a distraction from what’s really going on inside. But like any addiction you need to recognize you are in need of help, in need of control and in need to stop and face what is really causing you to seek out food (or your drug of choice) in the first place. Today I vow to fight that addiction, too. I made that vow yesterday and did O.K. in my eating. Not the best I could have been (I had an extra helping I shouldn’t have) but I was better and I will strive to be better than that today (no matter how delicious Jersey corn is).

And how will I be better? I will be better in my eating because I will tackle the day as I began my day. Listening to the quiet and hearing myself think. And when I can think like that I have the power to change the things I want to change about myself including that stupid number on my electronic scale. And no matter what, I will think about how I no longer want to feed either addiction. How I just want to be me and the best me I can be.

My friends, I have been honored.

Yesterday, Unbeknownst to me and on the same day I wrote part one of my blog post about him, martial arts and self defense expert Doug Shaffer, my sensei, wrote his blog post about me (WHICH YOU CAN READ BY CLICKING HERE) . It was very cool to read how my workouts could inspire a teacher who has been doing this for as long as he has, especially when just being in his class inspires me (and by the way I DID TWO HONEST-TO-GOODNESS PUSH-UPS YESTERDAY).

In my blog yesterday I began my Q&A with Sensei Doug about how mixed martial arts can be awesome for physical fitness. Today, I continue my conversation with Doug so grab your morning cup of coffee and jump into (or kick or punch) reading more about the benefits of using MMAs (mixed martial arts) to enhance a weight loss journey…

Sensei, what do you want people to learn when they come to you inquiring about MMAs as a way to improve fitness? Are your goals the same as theirs?

I guess the biggest thing I want people to understand is that everyone can do this at any point in their lives. It’s never too late to get yourself in shape and start moving. Everyone has reservations about embarking upon a life change such as this, but when you have good coaching, it’s a gradual, beneficial change that is much longer lasting. My goals as a teacher are the same as my students’. Most teachers might have a different opinion, but not me. I’m in the business of improving the quality of people’s lives through staying healthy, training, and learning. I still compete, and I still train everyday, just as my students do. The students tell me that they, too, are there in order to improve their lives through what I have to offer. We all treat each other as an extended family and every time a new student walks in the door, they are welcomed as a part of that family. We all have learned over time that this is not easy, but we also lean on each other for support along the way. I want everyone to know that they can do this! EVERYONE can practice.

What kind of diets do you suggest people follow to go along with MMA training?

This is a complicated question, and the answer is subject to the needs of the person training. Again, please ask your doctor first. If you’re not used to any kind of training at all, you’ll need to do some research as to what to eat to provide the correct nutrients and long lasting natural energy. Asking your health care professional is the best place to start.

What are the benefits of doing MMAs? Toning? Strength training? Etc?

MMA is a great way to not only improve your cardiovascular health, but increase your range of motion, and flexibility while toning and developing. It really is a complete system that calls on your whole body to perform. During an average session you’ll not only be burning calories, but you’ll be focusing on the development of your body and getting closer to the way you want to see yourself in the mirror. It’s a very rewarding feeling watching your arms, chest, back, and stomach begin to chisel out after just your first few weeks – yes, I said weeks – of training. There is no such thing as being too strong. This is your time to improve yourself and work on your own personal goals.

What is a good recommended workout regimen in terms of days per week, hours per day and time spent?

If you are just getting started with a new routine, I recommend training at least three times per week. If you are training in a studio or a gym with a trainer, they will have a program in place for you that will have you working anywhere from 45 minutes to and hour. When you are not at the gym, it’s important to stay lose and open by stretching at home, and making sure you’re staying on track with the proper diet as recommended by your doctor. Diet and exercise must work together in order to have any good results. If you’ve already been training for some time you might want to try bumping up to 4-5 days per week. Most importantly, it’s key to listen to your body. If you feel that you’re over doing it you need to take time to rest and prepare for the next session. Your body will tell you when it’s tired. Please take time to enjoy what you do.

Want to know the kicker (ha, I made a martial arts joke)? Even though I leave Sensei Doug’s class drained and tired I always go back and try to do something I’ve learned harder and faster, to test what I’ve learned and to build on that now that my body has warmed up a bit and isn’t so stiff.

So if you’re thinking about fitness, just like Daniel-san found out in “The Karate Kid,” it all starts with a great teacher. Thanks, Doug, for everything. See you again soon.

Recently, I had the incredible opportunity to begin my mixed martial arts workouts with martial arts and self defense expert Doug Shaffer. I knew this was going to be a series of down-and-dirty workouts. I knew I was going to sweat. I knew I was going to sleep until noon (well, 9:30 a.m.). I knew I was going to hurt…and I love every minute of it.

The martial arts I am learning are a mixture of Kempo karate, Jiu-Jitsu and American kickboxing, so I started my training by learning how to punch. I put on my MMA (mixed martial arts) gloves and I went to work learning how to throw a punch (something I am proud to say I have never done in my life in the real world) using the heavy bag. Next came kicks. Yep, no “Karate Kid”  “wax on, wax off,” “hang your jacket up” stuff. I went right into kicking and how to properly kick (with a flat foot against the target). Then into using my knees. Then into a combo of all three.

Can you imagine the sweat dripping from me after each class? Believe me, it’s in buckets. But that’s a good thing. That is what I signed up for. To give you all a little insight into what I’ve been talking about these past almost eight weeks I asked my sensei Doug a few questions about martial arts and why it seems more and more people are taking it to enhance a weight loss journey…

How many people come to you, like me, wanting to take MMAs as a way to lose weight/stay in shape?

“More then you’d think! Most people see UFC on television and say to themselves “I wish I could get that same type of workout, but I really don’t want to get elbowed in the jaw. Does such a workout exist?” Yes. Not all of us have an interest in competition on a professional level. Some of my students do, but my most popular adult programs are fitness based. These days people tell me that their two main reasons for training are stress relief and weight loss. What better way to combine the two worlds then hitting things? Out of all the adults I have in my studio, I’d say a good 85 percent are in it to stay in shape.”

What mixed martial arts do you teach? Why those particular ones?

“The styles of martial arts that I teach are the ones that I have had the most training in. I’ve been studying Kenpo karate for over 20 years now. I first started training in 1987. Kenpo’s main focus is on stand-up striking, and stand-up self defense. In the late 1980s, it was becoming very popular and is a very effective “street” art. I also teach Gracie Jiu Jitsu. Let’s face it, any good old street fight is going to end up on the ground. Although I did not get into my jiu jitsu training until 2006, this system of self defense from the ground, and the science of grappling has always held a special place in my heart. From the very first time I saw Royce Gracie in UFC 1, I knew that was a technique that I needed to learn. I discovered my teachers through a friend. I had no idea there was even a Gracie studio in or near Philadelphia until four years ago. I feel these two art forms offer something for everyone. I chose to teach them because I feel that it’s important to be ready for any type of situation on the street.”

What originally got you started and interested mixed martial arts?

“My interest in the martial arts started from the time I saw my first Bruce Lee movie. Like most kids my age, we all played around with the moves we saw on the silver screen. Bruce was the first person I’d ever seen that made things like that seem possible for a little guy like me. Add to that the fact I went to a VERY tough school growing up, and you’ve got the recipe for a kid that NEEDS to learn how to protect himself. At least two, maybe even three times per week, I’d get into a fight in the schoolyard because I did not like to take crap from anyone. I’d also have no trouble standing up to people twice my size if one of my friends was being bugged by some bully. It really got to the point where people knew I’d fight, so they’d look for me first.”

How can this type of training be good for weight loss and fitness?

“With the advent of programs such as cardio kickboxing, Tae Bo, and even the famous P90X, this training is becoming very easy for the public to get its hands on. A traditional martial arts workout will focus on only the areas that increase strength for standing positions. Growing up, we used to do countless amounts of stance drills. We’d practice kicking, punching, and blocking with partners, and we’d spar at the end of every class. This style of training is great for muscle tone and endurance, but it fails to activate and use every important muscle group needed. When you incorporate ground fighting and grappling, you are now able to target the rest of the body in a way that the stand-up skills lack. In order to have a complete workout, you need to be training your entire body every time you practice. Mixed martial arts does not give the body a chance to overlook a single movement.”

Does a person need to be in the “best physical shape” to begin taking MMAs?

“Absolutely not. A person can come to me in the worst shape they’ve ever been in, and still get the best training they’ve ever had. I was speaking to my class some months ago about this very same subject because this is the most common objection I hear. “I’m not strong enough to do that,” or, “I’d hurt myself if I tried that.”  One of my students said it better then I could have, and this has become a mantra for that particular class: “this is an evolution, not a revolution.” If you’re in bad shape to start with, and you make the personal commitment to change, you’ve already started your journey! The point in coming to class is so that you see the change happen in front of yourself over time and that you also enjoy the learning experience. Every exercise that we do can be altered or modified to fit any body type. As you get stronger, you work closer to your ideal body position. You don’t have to be in “perfect” shape at all. If you are in great shape, we take the training to the next level. I can always give a student more or less, depending on your needs. Any good coach should be in touch with the student’s needs.”

After my classes I am exhausted, sweaty (scratch that. I was mega-sweaty) and thirsty, but what incredible workouts they are. They’re the kind of workouts that should hurt. Sweat means you are burning fat and I am doing that. I am working muscles I never knew I had (like behind and under my shoulders) and I was getting my body into a new kind of workout to help trim off these pesky remaining pounds and, hopefully, firm up what’s left. And when you have an instructor like Sensei Doug, who wants to help people not just train-up for martial arts but get to their personal goals or weight loss, fitness or self-defense it turns a hard-as-hell workout into a partnership.

There is a saying in the studio in which we train which I have shared before and am going to share with you all again today, because it applies to all aspects of life…“A black belt is a white belt who didn’t quit.”

Damn right, and neither will I. Hell, if I can do it with my flabby arms, thighs and belly, anyone can.

About Doug Shaffer: Doug Shaffer, a seasoned martial arts and self-defense instructor with more than 20 years of personal training experience, is one of the most sought after mixed martial arts trainers in the region. Doug currently holds a third-degree black belt in kenpo karate, a second-degree black belt in Filipino Arnis, and a blue belt in Gracie Jiu Jitsu.  He is currently pursuing a purple belt in Gracie Jiu Jitsu from Balance Studios in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.  He also studies Ashtanga Yoga with Phil Migliarese, a protégé of the late Sri K. Pattabhi Jois.  Doug currently trains people out of his studio in Lansdale, Pennsylvania. To contact him, please visit www.amerikicklansdale.com.

Happy Saturday, my friends.

Man, these martial arts workouts are kicking my butt. And here I thought it would be the other way around. I never thought I’d be Bill-Claude Van Damme or anything like that but wow, these workouts are killer…and awesome.

I was talking with my sensei, Doug Shaffer, yesterday at the end of class and wondered out loud exactly how many drops blood, beads of sweat and oceans of tears had been shed upon the mat on which I now train. What stories would that mat have? He told me that the night before he had a full-contact sparring match going on and I could only imagine the sound of the impacts as the opponents fought. He also told me about the little girl who, just a few nights ago, achieved her black belt in karate (a photo of whom sits on his desk, very much the same way a proud father would). In other words…a lot.

I was floored, not by the exhaustion I was feeling (and believe me I was soooo feeling that) but by the feeling that I was adding my own sweat to something great. If that mat could talk it would talk about how this guy who used to be 400 pounds is still striving to be in better physical shape than he ever has been by sweating like a pig two times a week on that very same mat. Sure I feel pain today. Who wouldn’t? I am working out muscles I didn’t even know I had. But I am also doing things I never thought I could do before because of my weight. But that is just as cool as a full-contact match or a girl getting her black belt in kicking my butt. All are awesome accomplishments.

There is a certain amount of faith that’s involved in weight loss (well, any journey, really) and it calls on us to believe in something we can’t yet see with our own eyes. Moreover, that faith may be stretched thin at times. Loved ones are away or gone (and those subsequent anniversaries), you have a tough week, you started a new job, you feel alone. But the faith that you have is buoyed by the realities that have happened and have yet to happen. The reminders of accomplishments, remembering – well – memories and taking new strides toward new goals. But that faith is there, backed up by the hard work we all do on a daily basis to get through those tough times to make that faith real.

My sweat may not be all that great on that mat. It may be, literally and figuratively, a drop in the bucket compared to what others have done and continue to do (like awesome girl Van Damme) but it is something. It is good, positive and most of all true. And that is what that mat would say about me. That is my story. I am trying, I am human, I will not quit and I have faith that I will get to my goals one day. Each and every one of them.

Have you guys seen the Vin Diesel movie “XXX?” For the uninitiated it is actually one of the best PG-13-rated action movies I’ve ever seen. Loved it beginning to end, including the end credits because of a song by Gavin Rossdale called “Adrenaline.” It’s a rock song I actually added to my workout music playlist because it pumps me up and gets my adrenaline pumping to fuel my workouts…

…it also just happens to be what I was feeling last night during the Black Enterprise Magazine Elevator Pitch Competition.

You’ve heard me mention over the past few days about being selected to attend the Black Enterprise Entrepreneur Conference and Expo here in Atlanta (Hot-lanta seems to be the prevalent joke, although th weather is quite agreeable right now) and how, despite thinking I was not selected to compete, I was a finalist in the magazine’s Elevator Pitch Contest.

I have to tell you I now know what it feels like to be an American Idol contestant. Ten of us were backstage prepping our speeches, nervously talking and wishing each other well just waiting for the moment when we got to turn our adrenaline into energy (or throw up) and give our best 60-second presentation to an audience of about 200 or so people and a three person panel of judges seated like a certain panel on TV’s certain number one reality show.

There was round one, then round two then a half-hour (HALF-HOUR!) deliberation on winners and the adrenaline kept pumping, even after yours truly gave his best after an afternoon of practicing and practicing some more.

What does this have to do with weight loss? Two things. One, when the competition was over that adrenaline left me so tired but so freaking famished I was scared I was going to order one of everything on the hotel restaurant menu and 2) because of the contest I spoke to so many wonderful people about weight loss, my journey and all things food.

Yeah. All that adrenaline made me hungry, and as I was out walking I could smell all the tempting bad-for-you-foods from so many restaurants and bars. However I settled on just having a few buffalo wings and a couple of very tasty strawberry daquiries (all shared and split with some awesome new friends). So that was my dinner. And thank God I split the order. I could have eaten a house after the contest. That’s what adrenaline does to me. And while I didn’t have chicken that was grilled I did have a few wings and didn’t have tons of them, didn’t order anything else and walked away satisfied and full. And that was after a lunch of really tasty grilled salmon and asparagus over a small bed of rice. Very healthy, indeed.

Whew. Just a couple more days to go on my trip and a couple more days of trying my best to avoid breaking down completely and seeking out a plate of deep fried and tasty southern food – real southern fried chicken, greens, mac and cheese, grits…my mouth waters just thinking about it.

Oh, and what happened in the contest? Well, all that adrenaline paid off and I won third place which is incredibly awesome. Not too shabby for thinking as late as Thursday morning last week I wasn’t even going to make it as a finalist.

So now it’s off to the conference, a granola bar, fruit and coffee for breakfast and the enjoyment of knowing the pressure’s off and my adrenaline is now back to normal levels. I don’t think I could stand that kind of rush (and hunger) every week like they do on a certain singing and performance-based, three-person-judged talent show on FOX.