Determined To Succeed

Day sixty-six.

Well, here we are again, Hump Day, when we stop working to pay taxes and actually begin earning the wages we take home. In other words, we start working for ourselves. Today is interesting because Hump Day, for me, has two meanings. One, I am still trying to get over the hump of losing this extra bit of weight (grrrrrr). Two, I have been working for myself with working out, which means today I am going to my martial arts class later on this afternoon.

I don’t know about you guys but I feel damn good when I work for myself in anything, whether it is cooking, cleaning, doing laundry or working out. The fruits of that labor are seeing the completed food, a clean house, folded and available laundry and/or a scale with a lower number than yesterday. Those are the cool things about working for oneself. You get to set your own “blank,” and fill in that “blank” with whatever is appropriate for you…”hours,” “pace,” “schedule,” “goals,” etc. However, you also then have no one to answer to but you, and if you’re anything like me, we can be our own worst “blanks” (”bosses,” “critics,” “detractors,” etc.).

Let’s start with this weight loss thing of mine. Dammit all to hell! I thought I’d have this extra weight off by now. On one hand I am still doing very well. I have kept off the majority of the 175 I’ve lost but I still have a very stubborn 13 pounds to go to re-reach my goal. Being my own boss I have to say I haven’t been a very good “employee.” I’ve let me get away with lots. I’ve slacked off at times, ate what I wasn’t supposed to, had portions that were larger than needed, etc. But, when push comes to shove, like with keeping up with the martial arts workouts, I am good and dedicated and I know I will eventually lose that 13 pounds (which still is better than the 20 pounds it once was).

See, that’s what I mean. Even though I am doing well I still am able to find fault and that is both good and bad. It is good because it keeps me focused on continuing my good streak and my weight loss journey. It’s bad because you have to give yourself a “win” every now and then to stay happy and keep up morale and I don’t because instead of thinking about the weight I’ve been able to keep off with better eating and exercise I focus on what I’ve re-gained. I’ve had jobs like that, jobs that never looked at the good I was doing for the organization and always focused on the bad. What they didn’t have. “We didn’t get what the other guy got,” etc., and I was tired of that shit mainly because it was unfair. It set me up to fail because 1) I had to be a mind-reader to know the stupid, misguided whims and ideas of my old bosses and 2) I had to constantly beat the ground to produce (and believe me, I produced tons to the point where those fruits came to bear after I was “vocationally liberated”) and there is only so much you can do before press people get tired of hearing from you and start ignoring you. That is how PR works and that is how weight loss should not.

If you’ve lost ten pounds but gained back five, you’ve still lost five pounds and have kept it off. That is awesome. I have to remind myself to “take that win” and run with it. Sure, can and should we re-lose that other five, absolutely! But let’s look at what we’ve accomplished and take that win, too, for it is a big win especially on Hump Day, when all of us work hard to enjoy the fruits of our labor. For me, I am still seeing a big 2 at the beginning of my weight instead of a 4. The second digit is a 3 and is not a 4, 5 or (egads) 6.  And that last number will go down from the 8 it is currently. I know it will.

Hey, at least my “employee” didn’t drink another whole half-gallon of orange juice today. For that I am grateful. That is a win in-and-of itself. Have a great day, everyone.