Determined To Succeed

‘Twas the night (o.k.  day)  before Christmas, when all through the house

every creature was stirring, even the small mouse.

The snackings were laid out by the kitchen with care,

In hopes that visitors soon would be there.

I was nestled all snug on my couch

while visions of sugar-plums, cakes and turkey danced in my head – made me feel like a slouch.

So I got up and put on my workout clothes,

before the urge set in to settle in for a long winter’s nap.

When I reached the gym there was nary a clatter.

I looked around in disbelief to see what was the matter.

No one was working out, they took the holiday off

But with my favorite elliptical open, I knew not to scoff.

So off to it I flew like a flash,

To do my four miles before I had to dash.

Ah, the windows were alight with the sun’s bright glow

As I watched my machine’s TV (HLN) to see the presents highlighted on their morning show,

when, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles (or Flyers, or Sixers, or Phillies) his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

“Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!

To the weight machines! to the workout mats along the wall!

Now work out! work out! work out all!”

I always wondered how he kept so fit,

even in this season of eating, sometimes healthy, sometimes S&%t

After about half-an-hour, just like me they flew,

up to the gym-top and then I knew,

St. Nicholas had seen I was a good boy this year,

trying so hard to get my butt in gear.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I kept peddling, and was looking around,

St. Nicholas dropped a note all bound.

It said “Mr. Bill (oh, no!), you’ve been quite good this year

you conquer your weight loss demons with sometimes laughter, sometimes tears

but you stay true to your weight loss cause

just as my name is Santa Claus.

Keep up the good work and I will too,

And try not to eat too much of Mrs. Claus’ stew.

As this is the time of year we’re teased into thinking

that we’ll find comfort in the food and the drinking.

That is not so. You know it’s true

And as I am busy I take my leave of you.

In this next year of two-thousand ten

My wish for you and your friends is for a healthier yen.”

I then heard him spring to his sleigh and give his team a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

And at the end of my work out I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good weight loss fight.”