Determined To Succeed

I don’t know why but I am hung up on numbers.

Just yesterday I was talking with a great friend of mine who asked me why I seemed to be so stuck on the numbers of my weight. You know. My actual weight day after day.And not just the finding out every day part but also the being upset part if I re-gain a few ounces.

“Hmmmmm,” I said, “I weigh myself every day to help keep myself accountable.” But I started thinking to myself” “Why don’t I  weigh myself once every few days?” Where is the harm in that? And the answer is I don’t know. I’ve shared with you guys before how scared I get sometimes about the slippery slopes I know I face when it comes to food. I know food is our friend and I eat everything in moderation but there are certain days, weekends, events and life happenings I know trigger in me an overwhelming desire to consume food.

And here it is Sunday already. There is always something about weekends for me that put me on my foodie guard just a little more than weekdays. I have no idea why. Actually, I know why. Seeing friends and doing things had always been the excuses I gave to eat and eat and eat some more.

But in talking with my friend she reminded me of how not just worried she became about my weight but also how mad she got at me for letting myself get that big. That using those excuses of friends and social get-togethers I ate my ass off (well, more to the point I ate my way to a much bigger ass).

The conversation I had last night just really served as a reminder to me to focus on the big picture (no pun intended). When I was gaining I didn’t tackle the reasons WHY I was gaining. And now that I’ve lost to not solely focus on the number (especially if I gain back a pound or two) but pull back and see HOW my lifestyle has changed and WHY it will be changed for the rest of my life (and how that will mean those slippery slopes will be avoided).

I will still continue telling you guys my weight. That is part of the covenant I made with you. But I will, from now on, heed my own advice. No more “GRRRRS” or anything if or when I gain point-five-pounds. That is a part of life. This process. And if I gain I know I will re-lose it. It’s not about th number it’s about the man that now takes better care of himself because of it.